Urban Meyer to 49ers

Submitted by THE_KNOWLEDGE on December 20th, 2016 at 4:09 PM
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it is, of course, a travesty that osu is in the playoffs while Michigan is preparing for a less than stellar bowl game. the two biggest douchebags that have robbed Michigan fans of joy over the last 15 years have been o$u boosters Steinbrenner and Delaney
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steinbrenner's stealing of Henson prior to the 2001 season basically cost Michigan a national championship that year, and enabled o$u's contested championship the year after. with Henson, Michigan would have won the osu game in cheatervest's first year; would have won again in 2002 with a not-so confident buckeye team, and tressel would have been fired after the third straight loss in 2003
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at which point dantonio would have been osu's head coach - and Michigan fans could have focused all their hate on one institution
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delaney, of course, has been screwing Michigan for a long time, with this year's osu game being the most glaring example
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the most infuriating part to Michigan fans is that the AD did not stand up against B1G and support the football team; neither did anyone with any influence
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yes
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as THE KNOWLEDGE stated after the Iowa game, the original universe is continuing in its path where Michigan is preparing for the playoff game against Washington (with Alabama facing Oklahoma in the other game)
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and the version of yourself that doesn't know of the spin-off anomaly is in a much happier state of mind than this version in the spin-off universe
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THE KNOWLEDGE states this so that you understand that your original self is still happy and use that info to derive happiness in the current self
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yes
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the point of this post however is to answer the rumors in NFL circles that urban meyer will be taking over as head coach of the san francisco 49ers
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as readers of these very pages know very well, THE KNOWLEDGE makes his appearance during coaching searches, and provides the best info by revealing, instead of predicting, the future
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yes
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after the disastrous decision to get rid of Jim Harbaugh, followed by another disastrous decision to promote the assistant, the 49ers had assumed that the Eagles failure Kelly (no relation to ND failure Kelly) would somehow work out for them
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of course, he didn't
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so, the highly regarded and esteemed management in san fran has decided to get rid of kelly at the end of the season
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and go back to the college ranks to get the best available coach
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since that is Harbaugh, and the next best coach is a noted NFL failure, the prevailing thought in NFL circles is that the 49ers will choose the third best coach in college who has the added benefit of possessing low ethics
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yes
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the problem is that Meyer is afraid of coaching in the NFL - where he cannot have a significant talent advantage and his system is too basic to work
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however, seeing Kelly in the NFL has irked Meyer no end and he wants to show, for a year, that he can do better than Kelly
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hence, he will head off to the NFL for a year after ensuring he gets a top rated recruiting class by lying and covering up the fact; try to outdo Kelly and fail; have a health issue; then return to osu in 2018
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yes
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when these revelations come true in a few months, THE KNOWLEDGE shall soar
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leaving every doubter in a trail of dust
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yes
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Comments

DonAZ

December 20th, 2016 at 5:17 PM ^

I can see Meyer one day going to ND, if the circumstances lined up just right (1)

I can't see Meyer going to the NFL.  The downsides (2) outweigh the upsides.

(1) I can't see Meyer bolting from OSU straight to ND.  But if he pulls another "stepping away from the game" thing and is out of circulation for a year or two when the ND job opens, then I can see him slipping in there (his "dream job," reportedly).  If he wins an NC there he'd absolutely be in the conversation for best of all time.

(2) If Chip Kelly had stayed at Oregon (and continued to do well there), he would be considered one of the greats.  As it stands now, he's tarnished ... his move to the NFL, and his implosion at Philadelphia and San Francisco will be hard to overcome.  He can come back to the college ranks, but unless he goes on a Saban-like tear and wins several NCs, he'll continue to be seen as the guy who went to the pros and failed.

youn2948

December 20th, 2016 at 7:25 PM ^

What if he ended up in ND, he could get some serious Catholic Bagmen(TM).  I'm not sure if they'd offer private school tuition/job$ to parents, or just a spot in heaven.  So many of those institutions are private they could get away with just about anything.

charblue.

December 20th, 2016 at 4:44 PM ^

thinking that went into this timely piece. My guess is because Urban Meyer has a too simplistic offense for the NFL which is completely negated by superior individual talent and speed on most teams, and coaches who can gameplan against it, that we are stuck with Meyer who keeps proving anytime he is challenged that he is hardly the cool customer and the real dark one that Saban is. When you run the death star and plot the course of the planetary systen revolving in the college football solar system, Meyer is simply a guy who can barely handle his own sideline anxieties. Have you ever watched this guy during a close game? He is on the ground, running down the sideline revving up the crowd, and constantly on edge. In short, he's like the rest of us. But because he is what he is, he is evil..

Logan88

December 20th, 2016 at 4:49 PM ^

I stil cannot believe that the B1G office did not at least offer some acknowledgement that the officials screwed the hell out of UM in The Game.

I didn't get to see the game live, after I saw the myriad OBVIOUS penalties that OSU got away with, I was left just shaking my head in disbelief that they actually got away with this fraud.

This game has caused me to question whether I still want to follow CFB closely anymore. It just seems like the cheaters (Bama, Clemson, OSU, etc.) always flourish and it pisses me off.

uminks

December 20th, 2016 at 5:01 PM ^

The NFL does not want Urbz. He runs the wrong type of offense. The Mouse Davis days are long over. in the NFL Urbz has a better chance of retiring.

uminks

December 20th, 2016 at 5:01 PM ^

The NFL does not want Urbz. He runs the wrong type of offense. The Mouse Davis days are long over. in the NFL Urbz has a better chance of retiring.

gruden

December 21st, 2016 at 12:38 AM ^

You have a desperate organization like the 49ers grasping for something that represents a star coach.  Not too many of those floating free at the moment.  York really doesn't seem that smart anyway, so you never know.

bluebyyou

December 20th, 2016 at 7:09 PM ^

From the Knowledge's lips to God's ears.

Don't know about anyone else, but I'm still mightily pissed off about what seems like Warde's lack of doing much of anything re the reffing in the conference generally and what went down in Columbus, specifically.  If we don't stand up for ourselves, there is no one else to do it for us.

bluebyyou

December 20th, 2016 at 8:04 PM ^

Our AD reported the matter as closed.  As riled up as this fan base was and is over the calls and personnel who reffed The Game, and considering this is the time of year that a significant portion of alumni gifting occurs, if something were going on there would be subtle ways of disseminating the information.  I'm one of those donors and I haven't heard word one other than the terse message about the matter being closed.

From the scheduling bullshit of a few years ago where we played MSU away two years in a row to playing a night game in the middle of November in Iowa to the bullshit OSU gets away with to this, it seems patently obvious that the B1G has a rooting interest directed somewhere other than Ann Arbor.

BIGBLUEWORLD

December 20th, 2016 at 7:25 PM ^

Any scheme that relies on a running quarterback in the NFL will not work for long. I've trained professionals. They're too fast and hit too hard for any quarterback to have a decent career. 

Scrambling quarterbacks (Fran Tarkenton), quarterbacks who can manuever in the pocket (Drew Brees), or roll out effectively (Russell Wilson)--they can be an advantage. Quarterbacks who can turn a broken play into a gain (Kolin Kaepernick)--they might run once in a while and live to see another day.

Quarterbacks in the NFL who consistently try to run the football are soon destined for the scrap heap. Imagine you're a defensive back who just got burned by a qurterback for a touchdown, and you see that guy headed your way. BLAM! It doesn't matter if you weigh 185, you just became Ronnie Lott. This hit will make your day.

Neither Chip Kelly nor Urban Meyer can take their college offensive scheme to the NFL.