UM vs. PSU plus weekend recap as told through scary movie posters

Submitted by bronxblue on October 31st, 2010 at 11:41 PM

In honor of Halloween and the equally-traumatizing game yesterday, I bring you this week’s recap as told classic scary movie posters.  As always, I welcome comments and criticisms of my movie choices (and especially with scary movies, I will sometimes consider the acting quality in addition to the actual conduct when determining the level of terror associated with it)

The Horror in Happy Valley

Coming off two straight home losses and still smarting from last year’s demolition at the hands of the Nittany Lions, Michigan entered Happy Valley the day before Halloween with a mission: to exorcise last year’s demons posterand win that all-important 6th game and become bowl eligible after two straight losing seasons.  And PSU seemed like a willing partner in this bit of history, as the Lions’ numerous injuries turned once-intimidating Beaver Stadium into a veritable pet-sematary.  Not only that, but UM fans were expecting their resident exorcist Denard Robinson and the rest of the team to benefit from the rest afforded by the bye week.  All signs pointed to a UM victory, which probably should have been a clue that this game was not going to be childs-play-movie-poster.

The first two drives were an the-omen of what lay ahead, as UM’s questionable play-calling on third down led to a quick three-and-out, followed up by the first (of what turned out to be many) long, soul-crushing drives by PSU.  Led by their ginger, walk-on leprechaun of a QB, Penn St. roared out of the gates, scoring TDs on 4 of their first 5 drives as Michigan’s defense couldn’t stop the bleeding with a well-timed stop.  To make matters worse, a The_Fog_2005_film seemingly fell over the offense, as it failed to generate sustained offense beyond two scoring drives, the futility highlighted by a muffed kick return by Jeremy Gallon that buried the Wolverines deep in their territory.  Staring at a 28-10 deficit and PSU getting the ball to begin the second half, UM fans were in misery.

The situation only got worse as Penn St. took the opening kickoff of the second half straight down the field and tacked on a FG, ballooning the lead to 31-10 and sending even the most faithful fan into a frenzy of questions about this coaching staff and this team, highlighted by the lament of “where was this the thing you call a defense and why doesn’t UM have one?”  The team seemed Deadburiedposter, and the two most pressing question became whether this team would win another game all year and if the_mist_movie_poster brought on by copious amounts of alcohol would make the game more palpable.

But then a funny thing happened – the offense began to move down the field quickly, scoring on 3 straight drives and pulling within a TD late into the 4th quarter.  Suddenly, one could hear echo1 of Wisconsin in 2008, when the plucky Wolverines stormed back and ripped victory from the jaws of defeat.  All the team needed was one stop, one PSU mistake.  And despite a decent return on the ensuing kick-off, PSU was set to start from their own 35 when a shutter went through every UM faithful’s spine: there was a flag on the play, a Phantom_TEASER personal foul penalty that tacked on 15 more yards to the return on the eventual game-deciding FG drive.  The offense tried valiantly to score on the next drive, but as a 4th down pass fell to the ground all hope of a comeback was Abandoned_ver2.

So Is Team Cursed_(2004_film)?

That is the question on everyone’s lips once the lights went out in Happy Valley.  Behind a beat-up line and a walk-on, first-time starter at QB, Evan Royster ran around, over, and thru UM’s front seven with little resistance while Matthew McGloin shredded the secondary with impunity.   While poor defensive performances were certainly not Alien_movie_poster to followers of this team, the ease by which PSU moved the ball was truly a Shockerposter.  And the offense’s performance, despite some success in the second half, was a mimic of the past few weeks – struggling to score until the team fell behind by double digits, then moving the ball reasonably well as they tried to come back.

So now the familiar questions about the coaching staff have returned; will they_live to coach another year, or will the-road to redemption be littered with more casualties.  With Saturday’s game representing completion of the middle third of the season, this team’s future will likely be decided 28-days-later  in the Horseshoe, as UM ends the season in Columbus against the Buckeyes.  Winnable games against Illinois and Purdue loom the next two weeks, and Wisconsin comes to the Big House to end the home slate in three weeks.  Will the whisper for RR and/or GERG’s heads continue to get louder until it is a scream, or what fans saw the past three games is simply a rough patch for a maturing team poised to make a strong run to end the season?  I don’t think anybody knows, even if they might claim a the-sixth-sense-1999 about how the season will end.

And Because You Read This Far, Some One-Liners About Other Games This Weekend

* The MSU Spartans, saddled with expectations for the first time since the Reagan administration, walked into a house_of_errors in Iowa City, as the children_of_the_corn shook off last week’s tough loss to the Badgers and demolished Sparty 37-6.  sweet_karma_poster_FINAL-(1)  indeed.

*  Ohio State, sprinting through the JV section of their schedule, continued Minny’s the descent into the Big 10 basement by thumping the Gophers 52-10. 

*  I could make a snarky comment after Notre Dame’s heartbreaking loss to Tulsa and the even more painful loss of Crist for the whole season, but considering what happened to them this week my thoughts and best wishes go out to them instead.

*  And if the MSU game did not drive this point home, USC was the latest team to have fallen before the juggernaut that is Oregon 53-32. 

*  And finally, with another week of upsets and paper tigers being exposed, the world is reminded that trying to make heads or tails of the BCS rankings at this stage is for the_birds.



October 31st, 2010 at 11:59 PM ^

Although I must point out that it was Jeremy Gallon that chest punched the ball out of bounds on the kick return. 

Nothing major by way of errors, just don't want anyone blaming Stonum for something he didn't do!