Ugly Game of the Week - Week 13 Edition

Submitted by stubob on November 23rd, 2010 at 11:08 AM

It's the Turkey Day Special! One team gets a three-peat, one team goes for a win and has a chance!, and two teams are happy it's basketball season. Unfortunately, Florida managed to avoid HORROR, so therefore there is no God. I was right all along. Bonus game: the Lions play the Patriots for all to see on Thursday. I know very little about the NFL, but I know that 8-2 versus 2-8 equals bad. But first:

Last week

Rutgers took possession of the Big East basement in impressive fashion by getting smoked by Cincinnati 69-38. Rugters gave up 660 yards of total offense, and had -9 yards on 27 carries. That's not very good. In fact, that's outstandingly bad. If I had post-season awards, that would get one. In fact, I may create post-season awards just to be able to give one to them for that. I don't remember ever seeing a negative total yardage. I don't think I've done that in NCAA football. Tecmo Bowl, maybe.

Idaho took care of Utah State (motto: What do you mean Utes is already taken?) 28-6 in a punt-fest that saw Utah State's punter outgain the offense. Utah State left their QB in for the entire game, even though he was 14 for 35 for 103 yards and 2 INTs. C'mon, throw a halfback pass or something.

Last, Tennessee limped past Vanderbilt and can become bowl-eligible if they beat Kentucky this week. Both teams were offensively ineffective, but Vandy's 20 for 41 passing, for 222 yards gets the "Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing" award for the week.

This Week

The Alternative Thanksgiving Protein award this week goes to Akron versus Buffalo. Mmm, delicious Buffalo. Akron is the only team in D-I without a win, and Buffalo only has wins against Rhode Island and Bowling Green. Plus Buffalo is on the road. I didn't even realize that Buffalo's mascot is the Bulls, not the Buffalos. I mean, who else gets a chance to be the Buffalo Buffalo?

Hooray, it's basketball season in North Carolina, as Duke plays UNC in... football? Well, UNC's basketball team isn't doing much better. UNC has scraped out wins against the likes of William and Mary and Rutgers, but been competitive against FSU and Clemson. Duke, well, is Duke. They won shootouts with Virginia, Navy and Elon and that's it. Right, that takes care of that one.

Last, Vanderbilt gets an Award for Excellence in the Field of Outstanding Achievement for being mentioned three weeks in a row. This week they play Wake Forest who is holding down the ACC basement. Like the Big East, being at the bottom of the ACC is an accomplishment. Speaking of Duke, Wake Forest's last win came in week two against the Blue Devils, and has been off track since. Three points against NC State? Vandy has been equally bad, hosting a six-game losing streak of their own. I look forward to handing out my own Madden Golden Drumstick award to at least one of the punters in this game. Boom! Turducken-ed!


Hemlock Philosopher

November 23rd, 2010 at 11:41 AM ^

I am thankful for Stubob and his entertaining weekly diary...

First: As a matter of self-promotion:

UCLA (4-5) @Washington (3-6).  This is nationally televised and I'll be watching it.  The last time the Bruins ventured north before the weekend Oregon happened.  That was ugly in the style of Wounded Knee.  This one promises to be ugly in the style of Texas Longhorn's Statues.

Yes.  Probably the ugliest game of the week and a top-5er for the season.

and for balance:

In speaking of massacres: Mississippi, or shall we call them Missi after having the issippi taken by Tennessissippi, travels to LSU.

Er, not so much.  This was a really exciting game.  A barn-burner if you will. 

For this week we feast and give thanks for the bounty of summer. 

  • Turkey (Yes, Protein):  Buffalo @Arkon. 
  • Potatoes (starch): UAB @Rice. 
  • Burbon (alcohol): Kentucky @Tennessee.
  • Stuffing (more starch): K. St. @North Texas.  At North Texas(?)
  • Gravvvvvy (fat and starch): Wake @Vandy.
  • Cranberry Relish (sugar): The entire big east.
  • Pie (more sugar): La-La @La-Mo.

There's a whole lotta ugliness to be thankful for this week.   


November 23rd, 2010 at 1:12 PM ^

IU - Purdue should get dishonorable mention this week.

If there is a rivalry game in Indiana (in the game of "football" not dribbleball) and only people in Indiana look for the score in Sunday's paper.... is it really a rivalry?