My Pet Wolverine

Submitted by zoltan the destroyer on July 16th, 2009 at 3:46 PM
Excerpts from my MGoBlog diary

July 2008- Daddy Rod is the best daddy ever!!! Daddy said that since I was so good during all these divorce hearings, he would buy me a dog. I hate being in court when all those people say mean things about my Daddy.

August 2008- I FINALLY GOT THE DOG! I named him Sheridan. He's not very good at tricks yet, but Daddy says he'll learn.

October 2008- Sheridan pooped. A LOT. It made a mess on the couch. My uncles all blamed Daddy, but it was Sheridan's fault.

December 2008- House covered in poop. I want to cry most days, but Uncle Barwis yells bad words at me and tells me this is a family business.

February 2009- The house is getting cleaner, but everybody just compares our yard to our neighbors. I hate Mr. Danton! He is so serious and grumpy all the time.

April 2009- I just wanted to tell you about my new pet! Daddy Rod bought it for me. It is a WOLVERINE!!!!! I named it Tater Tot. He is super cute and furry- I can't wait for him to grow up so I can play with him!!

December 2009- Tater Tot grew up, raped the neighbors and escaped into the woods nearby. I can hear him crunching on the bones of all the forest creatures at night. What has Daddy done?



July 16th, 2009 at 4:12 PM ^

I am afraid to comment on this one. I am guessing that all those forest creatures include Broncos, Irish little people, Eagles, etc....

That is the point, right.?


July 16th, 2009 at 4:23 PM ^

As weird and creepy as that was. I still found it mildly amusing, especially the end about the Wolverine raping the neighbors. What has daddy done? It also kind of sounded like a pedophile wrote this though.


July 16th, 2009 at 9:47 PM ^

You had me at Grumpy Mr. Danton, but the image of lil Tater Tot tearing the last scraps of flesh from Squirrelly Squirrel's sweater vest is what made me smile.