Introducing the option: THE KNOWLEDGE SECTION

Submitted by THE_KNOWLEDGE on May 4th, 2012 at 9:34 AM

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Many is the number of fools who have in the past tried to denigrate THE KNOWLEDGE - to their own detriment. This number has gone down significantly with time as more people have started to understand the greatness and exactness of THE KNOWLEDGE
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Most people have finally understood that there is no better predictor of the future than the personality who understands not just the future, but the information on the future - i.e., THE KNOWLEDGE
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yes
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to the great euphoria of the readers of this blog, THE KNOWLEDGE has now made an appearance on these very pages after a few months' absence to make this post examining the past that allows people to make inferences that exhort them to think more critically about the future
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because that, after all, is the most important thing most people can do with their e-lives
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yes
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consider this example from the recent past: fans on this blog are driven to insanity wanting to know if Trey Burke will return or go pro
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many other such examples abound: will Levenberry choose Michigan? will Dymonte Thomas flip to OSU? will Meyer build a champion program at OSU? will he run a clean program?
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the answer to all these questions is, of course, no - it's just that people know the answer to some questions for the events that have happened in the past, and can only guess on the events yet to unfold in the time dimension of this universe
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yes
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these people can easily avoid significant anxiety and uncertainty about the future, if they will simply appeal to THE KNOWLEDGE, the most accurate revealer of the future
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however, the vast majority of people on these very pages have not taken advantage of this extremely rare opportunity that very few people get
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yes
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therefore, THE KNOWLEDGE has decided to provide an option to introduce a new feature to this blog: THE KNOWLEDGE SECTION
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this will be a separate tab on this blog where people can ask questions relevant to Michigan sports (THE KNOWLEDGE will decide what is relevant), and THE KNOWLEDGE will answer them as he chooses
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yes
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the owner and moderators of this blog are, hence, asked to open such a section for the help of the masses
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yes
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THE KNOWLEDGE will continue to provide regular columns (as everyone knows, THE KNOWLEDGE does not comment or respond to comments on diaries) with increasing frequency as the football season approaches
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yes
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Comments

LSA Aught One

May 4th, 2012 at 11:00 AM ^

THE_KNOWLEDGE has referred to itself as a male.  This is the beginning of the end, my friend.  Now that we know this major bit of information, your true identity is sure to follow.  Today we know you're a dude, by tomorrow we will know where you grocery shop.  Next week, we will know the name of your dog and that your favorite song is likely Call Me Maybe

 

Yes.

 

 

THE_IGNORANCE

May 4th, 2012 at 9:57 AM ^

Uncommence
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WHAT DOES THIS GUY KNOW.

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NOTHING
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HE DOESN'T DESERVE A SECTION TO HIMSELF
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THE ONLY MGOBLOGGER WHO DESERVES HIS OWN SECTION.
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IS THE PARTY ROOM.

America

May 4th, 2012 at 11:27 AM ^

My two guesses based on his name THE_IGNORANCE.

1.  He made the account to be the nemisis of THE_KNOWLEDGE which would seem to explain the comments.

2.  THE_KNOWLEDGE made two different accounts so he could argue with himself.

Frankly, I don't even know which seems more likely.

ChopBlock

May 4th, 2012 at 11:37 AM ^

THE_IGNORANCE created an account when I commented that THE PARTY ROOM should be referred to as THE_IGNORANCE. Then THE_IGNORANCE created an account and said "No, that's me". So it seems to be that THE_IGNORANCE is THE PARTY ROOM's syncopant and has only indirectly to do with THE_KNOWLEDGE

Yeoman

May 5th, 2012 at 8:05 PM ^

...was established above and the usefulness of entangled pairs in any explanation of time travel was discussed below, I think you mean to say

2. THE_KNOWLEDGE made two different accounts so he could argue with herself and she could argue with himself.

superstringer

May 4th, 2012 at 10:28 AM ^

I mean, I find THE KNOWLEDGE's posts greatly humorous and a cute addition to all things MGoBlog.  There is a 99.999% probability that THE KNOWLEDGE does not, in fact, have any better foresight into the future than the rest of us, becauase any backward time travel of information likely violates the laws of physics and creates mathematically impossible scenarios.

ON THE OTHER HAND... well there ARE entangled pairs....

So, on the off chance that the 0.001% possibility is in fact accurate, I for one CHOOSE to bow in deference to THE KNOWLEDGE's greatness, so that, if some day THE KNOWLEDGE chooses not merely to predict Michigan sports future but, instead, the stock market or something and thereby gains ALL POWER and we ALL end up working for THE KNOWLEDGE, well then, why be one to spit in his face now?  He would remember and force you to work cleaning toilets or something, someday, you know, in Columbus.

Just sayin'.

RowoneEndzone

May 7th, 2012 at 3:06 PM ^

I have been hitting F5 frenatically  for about 2 years and 7 months.  After 3 keyboards and 7 carpal tunnel surgeries I still have not been able to catch it in time.  Take it from a veteran, I would find a different hobby.

profitgoblue

May 4th, 2012 at 1:00 PM ^

I upvote THE_KNOWLEGE on sight.  There is no one else around here like him.  Love him or hate him, you have to respect his originality.  I bet people thought Nostradamus was strange too . . .

 

theBigRagu

May 4th, 2012 at 5:35 PM ^

Haters simply cannot comprehend the all-reaching knowledge of THE_KNOWLEDGE. Some people can open their mind to the cosmos, others will just never understand

MadMonkey

May 6th, 2012 at 11:07 AM ^

THE KNOWLEDGE created this thread.  Please, Mr. TK, answer this question:

Will Denard Robinson be a finalist for the Heisman this year?

 

 

Wolfman

May 8th, 2012 at 11:17 PM ^

does not comprehend that the question will Trey Burke return or go pro is not a yes or no question. Also, but to a lesser degree, still somewhat befuddling, doesn't knowing the future but also the information on the future equate to the same? Afterall, isn't the information on the future contained in the future itself?  Lesser minds just have to know.