How Hot is Denard - A Scientific Inquiry

Submitted by Blazefire on January 6th, 2013 at 2:14 AM

The end of Denard Robinson's Michigan Football career leaves us to ask many important questions into what his time here meant, in so many different ways. We can ask wherre his stats rank among all time greats. We can ask if he will ever be equalled. We can ask about intangibles and what he meant to the program. But I intend to answer a much more lasting question. How hot is Denard Robinson?

Yes, everybody wants a piece of Denard, and who could blame them? But that's not good enough. Below, you will find a scientific inquiry into the actual heat of one Denard Robinson.

In order to answer this question, we must establish a few points. First, Mirriam-Webster defines a calorie as such:

a : the amount of heat required at a pressure of one atmosphere to raise the temperature of one gram of water one degree Celsius

Two (Wikipedia):

Blood is approximately 92% Water by volume.

Your heart volume is approximately 280cm3, or .28 liters.

Therefore, your heart contains approximately .2576 liters of water, or 257.6 grams.

According to super-reputable web sources (http://www.nutristrategy.com/activitylist3.htm), a 180lbs man burns the following number of calories while running.

Miles per Hour Calories Per Hour Calories Per Mile
Running Calories Burned
5 654 130.8
5.2 735 141.3
6 817 136.2
6.7 899 134.2
7 940 134.3
7.5 1022 136.3
8 1103 137.9
8.6 1144 133.0
9 1226 136.2
10 1308 130.8
10.9 1471 135.0

As you can see, Calories do not increase per distance as speed increases, giving us an average of approximately 135.5 Calories per mile or .026 calories per foot (.077 Calories per yard)

Denard Robinson's Carreer rushing stats, as retrieved from ESPN.com:

Denard Robinson Career Rushing
2009 351
2010 1702
2011 1176
2012 1266
Total 4495

 

 

 

 

 

Add in about 1000 lateral yards and Denard Robinson finishes with a total of 5495 yards run inside gameday football stadiums.

A quick bit of math at .077 cals/yard X 5495 yards = 4231.15

4231.15 / the 257.6 grams of blood in your heart = 16.425 degrees celcius or 61.565 farenheit. Added to regular body temperature of 98.6? 160.165.

The American Burn Association has this to say:

How hot is Denard Robinson? He makes your heart burn, baby. He makes your heart burn.

EDIT: My late night, drunk-ass math skills fail me. I'm sorry to say this, but Denard does not make your heart burn. He only warms it.

5495 yrd x .077 cals per yard = 423.15 cals/257.6 grams of water = 1.64 degrees celcius, or just enough to send you to bed with feverish sweats. Somehow... that seems hotter to me.

Comments

blueinIN

January 6th, 2013 at 10:29 AM ^

But as a Michigan Enigneering grad I have to correct you on your conversion from celsius to farenheit.

The formula, (degrees F) = 32+ 9/5*(degrees C), that you used works for absolute temperatures like those on the weather forecast.

However, in this case we are talking about a change in temperature, so you don't have to add 32 after multiplying the celsius temperature by 9/5. The correct conversion will have to be 32 less than 61.565, or 29.565.

You can double check the result by adding 16.425 degrees C to the regular body temperature of 37 degrees C.

DonAZ

January 6th, 2013 at 11:43 AM ^

"I never claimed to be a particularly GOOD late-night drunk mathemetician."

I think late-night drunk mathemetician is one of those things that defies qualifications ... it stands on its own as of obvious merit!

For what it's worth, I think your post is fantastic.  Nice job!

User -not THAT user

January 6th, 2013 at 12:28 PM ^

Unfortunately there is no way to account for all the yards he ran during ("what we talkin' 'bout...") PRACTICE...so it is in fact possible that yes, Denard does indeed make your heart burn.

Love to see an engineer applying mad skillz...might have to share this with a drummer I used to play with...against all stereotypes he was an aerospace engineer from Auburn/highest honors, etc.  Dude loves stuff like this.  Great work....be sure to keep drinking, as well.

MadMonkey

January 7th, 2013 at 10:46 AM ^

Even with the errors, you would have been lauded by their faculty and now be referred to as "Dr. Blazefire".  Then again, you would have to own up to a doctorate from Ohio -- so, nevermind.

GoWings2008

January 8th, 2013 at 10:53 AM ^

"Your heart volume is approximately 280cm3, or .28 liters."

Since Denard's heart is immeasurable based upon the intangibles associated with his on and off-field performances, I'd say this assumption is off.  I'd expect his burn rate to be higher than that of mortal man.

daljerin

January 8th, 2013 at 9:41 PM ^

I believe the calorie burn chart refers to food calories which are actually kilocalories. So you have underestimated Denard's burn by a 1000 fold. This may explain why at times he seemed to catch fire.