Farewell to the season

Submitted by THE_KNOWLEDGE on October 26th, 2010 at 3:23 PM

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After the last two losses, there have been many opinions by many people on the question of whether the 2010 season is the same as the 2009 season

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Those that say 2010 season = 2009 season point to the same record at this point, and that the wins and losses have come against the same teams as last year, and M will now play the same remaining teams as last year – in that same order

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Those that say 2010 < 2009, argue that the losses this year have been worse, coming at home with wider margins

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Those that maintain 2010 > 2009 say: “But look at all those yards the offense gained. We only lost because of turnovers”

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yes

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This appears almost as tough as the P=NP (or P≠NP) question, except of course, everyone knows that P≠NP, but just can’t prove it (THE KNOWLEDGE, of course, has a simple proof for P≠NP that can be provided upon request)

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All these things are not surprising

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The most shocking thing to come out of the Iowa loss is that THE KNOWLEDGE’s overall season review is now not valid

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it is an extermeley rare occasion when THE KNOWLEDGE does not soar

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yes

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This shock has also caused THE KNOWLEDGE’s farm-grown Paul, the octopus, to die

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A highly irregular and undesirable change in the spatiotemporal continuum has caused the future to be slightly modified

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The new future is a bit different, and THE KNOWLEDGE now knows about it

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yes

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THE KNOWLEDGE has delivered on half of his review (BS Broncos in the NCG) by knocking off Alabama, OSU, LSU, OU, and Nebraska in the last few weeks. Other potential hurdles will be cleared in the coming weeks as well

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However, since THE KNOWLEDGE’s words have not completely come to fruition, THE KNOWLEDGE announces his retirement from this season

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yes

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THE KNOWLEDGE will re-appear in the offseason to describe the many coaching changes that are to occur in the Big Ten this year

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THE KNOWLEDGE CHALLENGE may, however, continue if the masses still wish so

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On that note, THE KNOWLEDGE would like to congratulate the following two and a half men for winning the 5th edition of the CHALLENGE and becoming Protégés of the week:

  • jrt336
  • joegeo
  • Misopogon(half winner for predicting the score, but at a different site)

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All of them predicted the score accurately!

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As mentioned previously, association with THE KNOWLEDGE has improved the predictive capabilities of the masses

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yes

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Adios, for a few months

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yes

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Comments

The Man Down T…

October 27th, 2010 at 7:07 PM ^

One of the givens of the e=mc2 is that nothing can exceed the speed of light.  Well, scratch that.  Not only does Denard travel faster than light but he actually has to pause before crossing the goal line so that light can catch up and we can all see it...

Biakabutuka Smash

October 26th, 2010 at 3:50 PM ^

You shouldn't have taught Brady the theories of quantum physics, thus allowing him to travel to an alternate universe in an attempt to stop himself from becoming lloyd brady.  It was his actions which allowed the extra loss on the season.

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Yes

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You only have yourself to blame

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Miss you already

ish

October 26th, 2010 at 4:14 PM ^

it is an extermeley rare occasion when THE KNOWLEDGE does not soar...indeed

this post is the funniest thing i've read all day.

eth2

October 26th, 2010 at 4:30 PM ^

The MSM, lacking THE KNOWLEDGE, was a bit late on this, but news of Paul's untimely demise has been confirmed. 

 

From less reliable sources, the search is on for a replacement for Paul, but no word if anything is expected in time for this weekend's matchup against Penn State.

 

So before you tip back that 40 ounces of malt liquor goodness this weekend, pour out a little in memory of Paul.    Peace.

Bluerock

October 26th, 2010 at 5:29 PM ^

Wait ..somebody lock the door, we are here to see this thing through from start to finish.

This group of young men needs our (are) support, who knows they just might surprise ya.

 

Besides you brighten up the joint.

The FannMan

October 26th, 2010 at 7:26 PM ^

I can only hope (but can't predict since I am not THE KNOWLEDGE) that this is like a bad action movie where everyone thinks the hero is dead.   It is very dark, and the forces of evil appear to have won.

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But . . . wait . . .

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Look!  There, getting out of the DeLorean that suddently appeared out of nowhere (WTF?)! Could it be?

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Yes

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THE KNOWLEDGE will return from the future once again to report on Michigan victories that haven't yet happened!  Except, they have happened for him because he's from the future. 

Dude, your posts are always a good read.  Don't stay away too long.  BTW - if your absence is due to a prision sentence, say hello to State's football team for us!

pullin4blue

October 26th, 2010 at 8:52 PM ^

The_Knowledge, don't stay away for too long. We'll miss your insight and enlightened posts. Just remember, John 8:32...ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set ye free.

Tully Mars

October 27th, 2010 at 12:23 AM ^

THE_KNOWLEDGE, please don't go!  I felt so good when you told us that we'd go 12-1.  I realize changes in the fabric of space-time have caused a change in our record, but you said you knew how this season would end.  Don't hold out on us!  Give us the new modified season review!

chreeschan

October 27th, 2010 at 1:58 AM ^

Please continue THE_KNOWLEDGE challenge. I wish to be bestowed with the honor "Protege of the Week", and perhaps "Top Friend of the Knowledge" if I am so lucky.

Tater

October 27th, 2010 at 10:22 AM ^

...it's even better than Calamari.  If you get him "processed" in time, you should be able to find some colsolation in how the season turned out.

Moe Greene

October 27th, 2010 at 10:38 AM ^

Has our ability to see the future been obscured by the power of the Dark Side?

And now we go into the rest of the season short one octopus and short our soothsayer?

What's next? Brady Hoke as GERG 2.0? Dogs and cats living together? Mass hysteria?

Blueto

October 27th, 2010 at 2:38 PM ^

I can think of only three possible explainations for the invalidity of THE KNOWLEDGE's season review.

1. THE KNOWLEDGE was simply wrong. This hypothesis is absurd on the face of it and must be rejected out of hand. Although logically possible in the sense that "all things are possible" it defies common sense and ignores the lessons of history.

2. It has been widely postulated that THE KNOWLEDGE is a traveler from the future. Assuming that this is likely true, then it is possible that through some malfuntion or navigational error THE KNOWLEDGE has unwittingly traveled through time to a parallel Universe (ours not his) where Michigan is NOT 11-1. While more likely then hypothesis #1, it still seems improbable because it would imply that THE KNOWLEDGE does not know what he is doing.

3. By far the most likely scenario is that by traveling back in time THE KNOWLEDGE has unintentionally altered the future. This is the often discussed paradox of time travel. In what way could this happen? I can only postulate that by making it widely known that Michigan would beat various teams he simulatanously caused other teams to work harder to beat Michigan while creating a sense of complacency within the Michigan team, as they "knew" that they were pre-ordained to win. Thus by informing us of exactly what would happen in the future THE KNOWLEDGE changed the behavior of all involved and thus changed the outcome!

YES

Undoubtedly, THE KNOWLEDGE has realized the nature of his error. This explains his hasty and rather sheepish retreat. He knows that the full extent of the damage caused by further pronouncements from the future cannot be known. Already for all we know several of what were to be Michigans future 5 star recruits may never be born. One can only prey that the damage was contained to a couple of extra losses.

I hope THE KNOWLEDGE returns when he discovers how to defeat the paradox of time travel or how to turn it to our advantage.

TBG

October 27th, 2010 at 8:18 PM ^

... YES

THE KNOWLEDGE has no knowledge....

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YES

... was wondering if and when he'd show up after the Iowa loss.  Now on with the show..

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YES