Fake Secondary Chat

Submitted by jajaja23 on August 17th, 2010 at 9:39 PM

In light of the recent injury to Woolfolk, I thought people might feel a little more positive if they saw the positive dialogue going on amongst the Secondary in light of the injury

Previous Discoveries: Fake QB Chat, Fake Coach Chat


 

You have entered UM Secondary Talk Google Wave



TGibsSmotherCover: "Alright guys. With the recent news about TWolf, I think it's important we get as much talk and positivity going about this upcoming season."

HaRRd Edge: "Guys this is where all of that conditioning and strategy will come in handy. Plus it Up and get a dessert and a 2 Liter of Coke for $5.99"

 TortoiseAndTheHair: "Did someone say something about conditioner?"

CullenYourOffense: "Let me know what I need to do and I'll blow it up."

  T8Gr8: "Can I take this blue helmet off?"

 TortoiseAndTheHair: "No. Now get back on the field!"

TGibsSmotherCover: "What the hell is Tate doing in here?"

 TortoiseAndTheHair: "Do you want a secondary or not? We're making him start from scratch. All in! Go Blue!"

HaRRd Edge: "What are you talking about Greg? We didn't agree to this. Tate, get back into the offensive set. Our South Main location will happily deliver to your location - Call today!"

 TortoiseAndTheHair: "Fine. Do whatever. I don't even know anymore."

TGibsSmotherCover: "What's wrong Greg?"

 TortoiseAndTheHair: "I'm just a bit depressed I guess."

CullenYourOffense: "Chin up coach - we'll find a way to get by without Troy."

 TortoiseAndTheHair: "It's not that. I just... I found a grey hair today."

  LetzGetDenard'd: "So I'm playing both sides now?

TGibsSmotherCover: "Who told you that?

  LetzGetDenard'd: "Some guy on Facebook from Arizona messaged me."

  T8Gr8: "Facebook's the shit. Peace out."

*T8Gr8 has left the chat*
 TortoiseAndTheHair: "I'm just... this hair is so beautiful. What will it look like when it goes grey?"

FlashGordon: "We got this guys. Just need to take this to the next level. If I can do it, and if Moundros can do it, we can all step up."

*T8Gr8 has entered the chat*

  T8Gr8: "Somebody on Facebook just said I don't have wings on my helmet because I'm being punished. I thought it was because we donated them to a needy family."

HaRRd Edge: "Are you kidding me with this shit? It was in your practice handbook. We've discussed it during practice. What have you been doing that whole time? Map our location today to find out how close you are to tasting Dominos tonight!"

 TortoiseAndTheHair: " "

  T8Gr8: "Farmville's some serious shit coach. I gotta be responsible and raise those cows or else what would people say."

*T8Gr8 has been removed from the chat*

*NotUrGardnerVariety has been invited to the chat*

NotUrGardnerVariety:  "Uh why am I here? Coach Robinson invited me. You told me I was redshirting as a quarterback. Nobody said anything about defense..."

 TortoiseAndTheHair: "Yeah yeah... do you have hair dye?"

NotUrGardnerVariety:  "No?"

 TortoiseAndTheHair: " "

HaRRd Edge: "Greg get your shit together. Our jobs are on the line this season. We got to be All In! Hold the Rope! Want to join our team? Fill out an application for driver and in-store service today!"

TGibsSmotherCover: "Pardon me but what in the hell is going on?"

 TortoiseAndTheHair: " "

NotUrGardnerVariety:  "I'm going to go..."

*NotUrGardnerVariety has left the chat*

*TurnerThaCorner would like to enter the chat*

TurnerThaCorner: "What's up guys?"

TGibsSmotherCover: "Oh thank God."

 TortoiseAndTheHair: "JT do you have hair dye?"

TurnerThaCorner: "Nope!"

 TortoiseAndTheHair: " "

HaRRd Edge: "JT can you get in shape and dedicate yourself to representing the Winged Helmets proudly? Our Saline location is open M-Th 8 am to 11 pm to meet your pizza needs."

T8Gr8: "They'll give you another helmet even if you don't. Mine's kinda badass. ALLLL BLUEEEEEE"

*T8Gr8 has been removed from the chat*

T8Gr8: "These colors don't run!"

*T8Gr8 has been removed from the chat*

T8Gr8: "I wanna be a COWBOYYYY BAYBAYYYY"

*T8Gr8 has been removed from the chat*

T8Gr8: "Did someone edit my Halo character?"

*T8Gr8 has been removed from the chat*

 

 TortoiseAndTheHair: "OH GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!"

TGibsSmotherCover: "I didn't sign up for this."

*TGibsSmotherCover has left the chat*

TurnerThaCorner: "Man, this looks bad."

  LetzGetDenard'd: "Coach Rob, I can go run and get you some stuff after practice."

FlashGordon: "Don't worry Denard - I've got him covered. Ha get it?"

TurnerThaCorner: "If you'd like me to return hit Ctrl W"

*FlashGordon has left the chat*

*CullenYourOffense has left the chat*

*TGibsSmotherCover has left the chat*

*HaRRdEdge has left the chat*

 

*HaRRdEdge has entered the chat*

*HaRRdEdge has left the chat*

 

*HaRRdEdge has entered the chat*

*HaRRdEdge has left the chat*

 

HaRRd Edge: "It won't work! I'm doing it and it won't work! Domino's is a proud sponsor of NASCAR"

*HaRRdEdge has left the chat*

*JTFlow has entered the chat*

JTFlow: "I got this. Let's do it."

 TortoiseAndTheHair: "Why bother? What is there left to play for?"

TurnerThaCorner: "Hey Coach Robinson, did you dye your hair white as a motivational tool? That's the whitest hair I've ever seen."

 TortoiseAndTheHair: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

JTFlow: "Alright coach... good luck with all that."

 TortoriseAndTheHair: " "

JTFlow: "I'm gonna go work out. Good to see you Turner. Let me know if you still want that sub club coupon you lent me."

*JTFlow has left the chat*

 TortoiseAndTheHair: "I'm going to go write in my LiveJournal. I can't even think about football at a time like this."

*TortoiseAndTheHair has left the chat*

*HaRRdEdge has entered the chat*

*HaRRdEdge has left the chat*

HaRRd Edge: "It still won't work! JT Call Me! To call a Domino's specialist to discuss your order, try any of our greater-Ann Arbor locations. Click here for more information."

*HaRRdEdge has left the chat*

TurnerThaCorner: "Mannnnn I kinda feel bad about all this."

*TurnerThaCorner has been removed from the chat*

FreeAgentCone:  "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE HIGHLANDER!"

Comments

UMAmaizinBlue

August 17th, 2010 at 10:03 PM ^

Never was an amazing laugh needed than right now. With people fighting to be first in line to jump off a cliff tonight, this should be front page material just to talk people back down.

I nearly died laughing when Tate mentioned his Halo character. You, sir, and your amazing "lost chats" are always a welcome addition. Keep 'em coming! 

kevin holt

August 17th, 2010 at 10:05 PM ^

These never cease to amaze. Thanks for cheering me up a bit.

Am I mistaken, or did the "NASCAR" thing come up because RR mentioned work? It won't work = nascar fan? Maybe it was a coincidence. If you are thinking that far in depth, I applaud you and also feel for your MGoSanity.

Drill

August 18th, 2010 at 2:51 AM ^

Thank you for that.  Frankly, I expected it to be something like:

You have entered UM Secondary Talk Google Wave

TGibsSmotherCover: I have called this meeting of cornerbacks to discuss our depth chart in the wake of Troy's injury.  We will begin with a roll call.
JT Floyd: Here.
Cullen: Here.
TGibsSmotherCover: Anyone else?
TGibsSmotherCover: ...
TGibsSmotherCover: Anyone?
TGibsSmotherCover: Shit.
*TGibsSmotherCover has left the chat*

I was pleasantly surprised.

Hail-Storm

August 18th, 2010 at 9:13 AM ^

I loved the part where Tate didn't know why his wings were taken away. Ha!

Oh, how I long for those days when the board was filled with discussion about Tate's wings. Seems so long ago.

Wolverine0056

August 18th, 2010 at 10:16 AM ^

 

NotUrGardnerVariety:  "Uh why am I here? Coach Robinson invited me. You told me I was redshirting as a quarterback. Nobody said anything about defense..."

 TortoiseAndTheHair: "Yeah yeah... do you have hair dye?"

 NotUrGardnerVariety:  "No?"

 TortoiseAndTheHair: " 

 

I love this part too. Probably the best part of the whole thing.

Moleskyn

August 18th, 2010 at 11:02 AM ^

TurnerThaCorner: "If you'd like me to return hit Ctrl W"

*FlashGordon has left the chat*

*CullenYourOffense has left the chat*

*TGibsSmotherCover has left the chat*

*HaRRdEdge has left the chat*

 

*HaRRdEdge has entered the chat*

*HaRRdEdge has left the chat*

 

*HaRRdEdge has entered the chat*

*HaRRdEdge has left the chat*

Almost lost it at that part. I'm lucky my boss didn't happen to walk in at that moment, otherwise I would have had some splainin to do.

chollis

August 18th, 2010 at 4:00 PM ^

FTW. Maybe instead of actually getting angry on the sidelines this year, he can just have an assistant hold up emoticon cards for how he is feeling.