Down with OPP: Six Zero (WifeDay)

Submitted by oriental andrew on October 22nd, 2010 at 2:01 PM

What bye week?  This is, in fact, one of the biggest matchups of the year we have in the entire conference!  Saturday, Six Zero takes on the mighty WIFE in the annual WifeDay showdown.  We were able to get a hold of the presser notes for your reading pleasure.  Details on the rivalry game can be found here.

 

Now, on with the show!

 

Six Zero on defending Wife’s offense:

  • She’s been running this scheme for a long time and executes it very well. 
  • Wife uses a combination of power and finesse in running the offense.  The running game (ie, furniture) may not rack up the scores in favor of Wife’s offense, but it should gain quite a lot of yards, particularly in the Ikea set. 
  • Doesn’t expect to blitz often as it’s too obvious and wife will just run some screens by the register (and maybe some “red accent pillows with beads”). 
  • The toughest matchup for Six Zero’s defense figures to be passing game, as Wife looks to “torch” him by Ann Taylor Lofting balls over the weak secondary.  She’ll be going deep for the “perfect outfit” with regularity and the defense isn’t well-equipped to deal with this.  Expect the bulk of Wife’s scoring to come in the passing game (the AT Loft set is dangerous, but you also can’t ignore when she goes 5 wide with the WH/BM look). 

 

Six Zero on Wife’s defense:

  • Wife plays a bend but don’t break defense.  She gives in on some of the little things, but tries to avoid the big play.  Six Zero will try to take what she gives, but also look to break one long, most likely in electronics.
  • A risk for the defense, though, is making sure they stay disciplined.  In past matchups, the defense has gotten over-excited and drew penalties for un-husbandlike conduct (“if they’re actually showing college football in there, I’ll probably revert from model husband form and back to MGoBlog cretin, and she’ll simply leave the store.”)
  • Another by-product of her defensive philosophy is that she gives up the underneath (and over-the-shoulder) stuff quite readily.  This, of course, includes chain eating establishments with TV’s (“she’ll even pretend not to notice as I stare over her shoulder and root for whoever’s playing the Damn Buckeyes.”) and quick outs to Sonic for Grape Limeade. 

 

Six Zero on Special teams/intangibles:

  • Six Zero does figure to end up with a few unforced turnovers from Wife on the day (new shirts, pants, shoes). 
  • The question is whether or not he’ll be able to make a major impact, like returning a kick or a pick for a TD (home entertainment system!). 
  • Sales are dangerous in all phases of the game.  There will be many and Six Zero can’t do anything about that except to make sure he’s prepared (eg, smartphone + apps/internet).
  • Six Zero has to be careful he doesn’t look ahead to next week.  It could be a long day if he’s not focused and making adjustments mid-game.  He’s been there before, so doesn’t figure to panic.

 

Six Zero on the rivalry:

  • Annual matchup with a lot of energy on both sides, both looking forward to the weekend.
  • Lopsided series so far, with Wife winning every matchup by an average score of 37-13. 
  • Regardless of the outcome, “She’s A Pretty Great Wife”

Good luck to Six Zero this weekend.  He's gonna need it!  

And an OPP exclusive - a picture from last year's game:

Comments

ThWard

October 22nd, 2010 at 2:40 PM ^

You forgot to picture page that play.

 

Obviously, SixZero is leaving WAY too much room for Wife to get into stores - you leave that kind of room, she's going to be in the dressing room with 7 dresses to try on before you've even entered the store.  (Edit: perhaps this isn't on SixZero - did he have help over the top (brother-in-law blocking the entrance to Gap?).  In any event, he looks badly outmaneuvered there).

 

oriental andrew

October 22nd, 2010 at 4:21 PM ^

Thought we were all e-friends just having a good time.  No harm intended.  If you're really offended, feel free to email me and I'll ask the mods to take it down (I don't think I can delete it myself).  I don't think I'd be offended if the roles were reversed (yes I'm married, yes I have kids, and yes my wife takes me on shopping excursions every now and again).  In all seriousness, let me know @ gobluetwo at hotmail dot com.  

Six Zero

October 22nd, 2010 at 4:55 PM ^

Just want to be up front in demanding that this whole piece stays respectful, that's all.  I'm sure you understand.  She's awesome and I wouldn't let anyone in person say the wrong thing about her, and it shouldn't be any different here, y'know?

BrewCityBlue

October 22nd, 2010 at 5:15 PM ^

Six Zero's post. Oriental Andrew's Press conference breakdown. This is all hilarious.

FTR, i don't see how this could be seen as defamating or negative in any way. There's no "making fun of" or "insulting" - just going along with the same theme as if this is actually the biggest game we are all pulling for this weekend.

Let's go Six Zero - you're a huge underdog this week but i'm rooting for you to pull this one out!!!!

Edward Khil

October 22nd, 2010 at 11:38 PM ^

3 cheers to both 

 

 

 

3 cheers to both Six Zero and Oriental Andrew.  6-0's post was pretty darn funny, and heartwarming.  My initial reaction to seeing that someone had started another post was severe skepticism.  But the laughs continued.

Bravo to 6-0 for registering his concern that perhaps OA had taken things too far.  Any husband (and I am one) would rightly be concerned that things might get out of hand.  More applause for Andrew for graciously offering to make any amends 6-0 deemed necessary.

And huzzahs to the entire mgocommunity: there was obvious delight, respect and warm wishes in every comment.  This site is more than the most amazing source for all things Wolverine; it is a bastion of decency and an oasis of sophistication.

If anyone can recommend another site with this level of discourse, regardless of subject matter, I am all eyes.  (theeconomist.com?)