A Concerned Citizen for Change

Submitted by Chrisgocomment on July 1st, 2008 at 6:35 PM

It's getting out of control folks.  Every fall it ravages our hopes and dreams.  No, I'm not talking about gas prices or the war in Iraq or anything that's actually important.  I'm talking about fall weddings.  Let's get one thing straight: 90% of your wedding guests at a fall wedding are totally pissed that they are there (statistic may be inaccurate by 10 to 90%).  There are only so many fall Saturday's to go around people!  After you and you and you and your friend’s friend all get f'n married over the fall, guess what?  I haven't seen a lick of College Football. 

This fall is truly Armageddon for Chrisgocomment.  This is going to be one of the most fascinating Michigan Football season ever, and guess what?  I might as well be in a coma because I'm not going to see shit.  The $1,000,000,000 I spent on season tickets is a total waste at this point.....I'm simply just holding my seats for a fee.

Check it out: on August 30th Michigan will run on the field for the first time under Coach Rodriguez.  Who would miss this game???  Me, that's who.  Flippin' wedding.

On September 20th Michigan will defiantly not lose.  That's mainly because they aren't playing a game....but.....think of all the great games I could see if I was at home!  Nope, I'm going to some stupid ass wedding.  Balls.

On October 11th Michigan will take on Toledo.  Sure, not a great game, BUT....we could win!  Yep, God Damn Wedding.  I'm out.

On October 18th Michigan will take on Penn State for what will no doubt be their 44th straight win in the series.  Sure, the game is in Happy Valley so I won't be blowing my tickets...but still...God made HD TV for a reason.  And that reason was College Football.  Guess where I'll be.  If you said a piece of S wedding you are da winna.

So there you go.  4 of our precious Saturdays this fall are buried in deep deep ass.  So I implore you, people of America, I'm just one man, please stop with these weddings.  College Football is just too important for you to start putting yourself in front of it.  You aren't that cool, schedule your weddings for February...there's nothing to do then anyways.

 

Comments

chunkums

July 1st, 2008 at 7:12 PM ^

I feel your pain. I'm in the Marine Reserves and always have to miss a couple of the best games of the year in September, October, and November for training.

 Luckily I had to miss the Oregon game last year for the same reason, so I was able to avoid the tears of sadness at least until I saw how depressed everyone was when I got back to AA.

Blake

July 1st, 2008 at 7:51 PM ^

you just need to tell these people that you have plans that you made years in advance (since they do release Michigan's schedule at least a few years in advance) that you can't get out of. either that, or don't become good friends with people who seem as if they're close to getting married until they actually get married.

Maize4Blue

July 1st, 2008 at 7:54 PM ^

As someone who's getting married this fall, I fully support your cause. Nov. 1 - Purdue: DickRod vs. Diabetes Joe. One upside is that it should be a 1:30pm kickoff, which leaves plenty of time to watch before.

yvgeni

July 1st, 2008 at 7:59 PM ^

We planned our wedding around the '05 football schedule (it was in Ann Arbor, at the Michigan League). We picked the MSU/UM game because it was Away. We planned it for late Saturday because everyone was going to want to watch the game (including us). I missed most of the time put aside for "getting dressed" because the game went into overtime, and no one blamed me. I walked down the aisle to the sound of a string quartet playing "Hail to the Victors". And it was my mother-in-law's idea. Weddings aren't that bad...

Anonymous Coward (not verified)

July 1st, 2008 at 8:35 PM ^

She just got flamed on some Wall Street Journal blog for stating that our kids are already on notice that their weddings will not be scheduled for the weekend of the OSU game. That they will need to check the football schedule before finalizing any wedding plans, and that ideally they will not be scheduling fall weddings at all. Oldest kid is 11, so although that wedding is many many years away, we figure it makes sense to get them on the program now. Damn, I got lucky with my wife.

peter lefleur

July 1st, 2008 at 8:43 PM ^

She just got flamed on some Wall Street Journal blog for stating that our kids are already on notice that their weddings will not be scheduled for the weekend of the OSU game. That they will need to check the football schedule before finalizing any wedding plans, and that ideally they will not be scheduling fall weddings at all. Oldest kid is 11, so although that wedding is many many years away, we figure it makes sense to get them on the program now. Damn, I got lucky with my wife. Only problem, our kids are covered, but this does nothing to protect us from all the other ignoramuses out there, like those who flamed my wife for saying this in the first place.

TokyoBlue

July 1st, 2008 at 8:53 PM ^

My soon wife-to-be could care less about football, and that goes for most of the nation of Japan. I'm hoping that sopcast or whatever improves dramatically by the time I start working here year-round (probably 2010), because the only football that is even on satellite TV is select NFL games every week and the Japanese league, which is somehow on televison despite being astoundingly unpopular and full of players who have day jobs during the week. Luckily, though, we were both in AA and in attendance for last season's opener ... Yes, my fiancee's baptism into UofM football was The Horror, and when the field goal was blocked she had to turn to me and ask me what had just happened (blissful ignorance).

peter lefleur

July 1st, 2008 at 9:11 PM ^

Better than the girl who thinks she gets football, only she totally does not get football, yet insists on constantly opening her mouth and telling you about football.  I'll take blissful ignorance over that 8 days a week. 

I lived in Asia for 9 years (I am old) after undergrad, so I get it.  Cricket, soccer, rugby, but damn if you can find some real football.  Other good things, though.  Damn good sushi in Tokyo, for example.  Had a lot of fun in Tokyo when I travelled there.

Wolverine318

July 1st, 2008 at 9:05 PM ^

A very close friend of my wife and I is getting the day of the Michigan at Purdue game. We were planning on going to the game in West Lafayette until we received their wedding invitation. I was really hoping to go to this game because I did my undergrad at Purdue (I am a Michigan grad student). Oh well When my wife and I got married we planned our wedding for the summer, during a lull in the baseball season and a few weeks before the college football season. We are both sports fans and die hard college football fans (Me- born as a Michigan fan and casual Purdue fan and her a die hard gamecock fan). We both feel your fan and wish weddings would only be planned during the summer, when there is no college sports. Even if the wedding was in February, you would be missing possibly an important Big Ten basketball game and/or important CCHA hockey game.

Anonymous Coward (not verified)

July 1st, 2008 at 9:57 PM ^

I missed the Oregon game last year because of a wedding. It sucked when I found out they lost, but at least I didn't have to restrain myself from throwing the remote at my tv.

Anonymous Coward (not verified)

July 1st, 2008 at 11:19 PM ^

While I refuse to miss games for weddings, the last two near conflicts were The Horror (I went to the game and then attended a 1/2 Sparty wedding that night - demolished the open bar) and the 1 v. 2 OSU game (skipped the ceremony/dinner to watch the game, then demolished the open bar). If you want memories of guys huddled around the bar tv or someone's phone, have a fall wedding. Otherwise pick any of the other 40 Saturdays and hope the Wings/Pistons/Tigers aren't playing a playoff game.

DC Blue

July 1st, 2008 at 11:24 PM ^

While I refuse to miss games for weddings, the last two near conflicts were The Horror (I went to the game and then attended a 1/2 Sparty wedding that night - demolished the open bar) and the 1 v. 2 OSU game (skipped the ceremony/dinner to watch the game, then demolished the open bar). If you want memories of guys huddled out around the bar tv or someone's phone, have a fall wedding. Otherwise pick any of the other 40 Saturdays and hope the Wings/Pistons/Tigers aren't playing a playoff game.

The Barwis Effect

July 2nd, 2008 at 12:20 AM ^

I made a special point of not scheduling my wedding during a Michigan football weekend only to have them spring the '95 Pigskin Classic on me after I had already booked the hall and sent out the invitations. To say that I was pissed off would be a mild understatement.

West Texas Blue

July 2nd, 2008 at 1:05 AM ^

This is one of the fine things of living in Texas. Football is 2nd to church, so Saturday and Sunday afternoons in the fall are only reserved for football and nothing else. I have never heard of a wedding in the fall down here, and if there was a wedding going on during the fall, it was probably between two hippie loving, football hating liberals.

TokyoBlue

July 2nd, 2008 at 3:43 AM ^

Peter- You said it. The Aussies and NZers have it easy here. If only my favorite sporting team were the All Blacks (sorry to any fans if I butchered my paraphrase of the name), because they are on TV live all the time at the bars. At least most Michigan games are on at 12 noon, aka 1am Japan.

peter lefleur

July 2nd, 2008 at 7:58 AM ^

Yeah, brother.  I watched the '97 Super Bowl while living over in Asia, and as a lifelong Packer fan, I had to watch alone in the middle of the night.  Woke up a few neighbors watching that one.

Have you had the argument yet where the Euro/Aussies tell you how our football players are wimps because they wear pads?  Usually some little 160 pound eurotrash dude who played rugby 10 years ago telling me that.  Fools, all of 'em.  Not even fun to watch with those guys in the bar with you, if you can somehow get it to the right channel.

When I lived there, satellite tv was in its infancy, so I missed a lot of games.  At least you can watch them now.  No gamecast, no streaming, it sucked.

mockryan

July 2nd, 2008 at 9:55 AM ^

I live on the east coast, so getting Michigan games is not a gimme. However, on October 4th, ABC picked up the Michigan-Illinois game. I'll be at my cousins wedding. Of course.

mjv

July 2nd, 2008 at 10:08 AM ^

One of my best friends from college got married on the day of the Spartan Bob the Timekeeper game in 2001. This is the same guy who was a manager of the football team while we were in school and refused to go to a friend of our's ceremony two years prior on the day of the MSU/Michigan game. His wife just didn't understand why everyone refused to to leave the bar at the hotel and gather around for pictures, during those final agonizing seconds. And then she didn't understand why everyone was so pissed following the game. There aren't that many weekends during the football season. Schedule that damn wedding some other time. My bigger concern is kids sports. With two young boys, I'm worried that I'm going to get roped into missing certain games...

The Barking Sp…

July 7th, 2008 at 8:57 AM ^

Weddings are for the woman. It's fitting that they have it in the fall, because for most guys, the last decision they'll ever make is to propose to the bitch. From that point forward, most men sacrifice every bit of power they ever meekly mustered. And for what? To get laid regularly, or so they think. Then they realize that the blow jobs stop, you're not getting the ass, and after having three screaming brats who couldn't give a fuck about you or the sports you force them to watch (when your wife doesn't make you go shopping on Saturday) or force them to play, it'a time to find a young chick to roll with (of course, instead of putting your foot down and straightening all the ungrateful asswipes you live with). Because, again, you've sacrificed all your power and you are afraid of confrontation, even if it is pro active confrontation. So then you find yourself like 60% of the rest of us, hiring a divorce lawyer. And agian, if you're a typical dude, you're right back at it within a year. Look it up, I dare ya to defy me. No dude worht a shit or smarter than the average toad should ponder marriage before 35. It's fucking stupid to waste your youth arguing with some broad over sex and money, not having anymore fun, and changing diapers. You don't know your ass from a hole in the ground and you are ready to start passing on life lesons to other people?

Eric

July 7th, 2008 at 11:24 AM ^

My wife and I got married on August 25, 2007. We did this so that we could be in attendance the following Saturday (my b-day) September 1 for the first home game. We ALL remember that day...

hat

July 10th, 2008 at 10:41 PM ^

And remember: when you get married in the fall, your anniversary can come up on a football gameday, too. My friend had to miss the 2006 OSU game because it was his anniversary and they HAD to celebrate, blah blah blah. (I know we lost, but still...)

burtcomma

March 2nd, 2010 at 1:13 PM ^

Do what I did, get married on August 6th, easy to remember as it is same day as first atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima! (Plenty of time for honeymoon and back before Michigan season opener!) A Michigan graduate has to have his priorities.