It's getting out of control folks. Every fall it ravages our hopes and dreams. No, I'm not talking about gas prices or the war in Iraq or anything that's actually important. I'm talking about fall weddings. Let's get one thing straight: 90% of your wedding guests at a fall wedding are totally pissed that they are there (statistic may be inaccurate by 10 to 90%). There are only so many fall Saturday's to go around people! After you and you and you and your friend’s friend all get f'n married over the fall, guess what? I haven't seen a lick of College Football.
This fall is truly Armageddon for Chrisgocomment. This is going to be one of the most fascinating Michigan Football season ever, and guess what? I might as well be in a coma because I'm not going to see shit. The $1,000,000,000 I spent on season tickets is a total waste at this point.....I'm simply just holding my seats for a fee.
Check it out: on August 30th Michigan will run on the field for the first time under Coach Rodriguez. Who would miss this game??? Me, that's who. Flippin' wedding.
On September 20th Michigan will defiantly not lose. That's mainly because they aren't playing a game....but.....think of all the great games I could see if I was at home! Nope, I'm going to some stupid ass wedding. Balls.
On October 11th Michigan will take on Toledo. Sure, not a great game, BUT....we could win! Yep, God Damn Wedding. I'm out.
On October 18th Michigan will take on Penn State for what will no doubt be their 44th straight win in the series. Sure, the game is in Happy Valley so I won't be blowing my tickets...but still...God made HD TV for a reason. And that reason was College Football. Guess where I'll be. If you said a piece of S wedding you are da winna.
So there you go. 4 of our precious Saturdays this fall are buried in deep deep ass. So I implore you, people of America, I'm just one man, please stop with these weddings. College Football is just too important for you to start putting yourself in front of it. You aren't that cool, schedule your weddings for February...there's nothing to do then anyways.