Camp Barwis: The Movie

Submitted by chunkums on July 25th, 2008 at 1:25 PM

So after a night at the bar, I had some divine intervention in the form of a dream, to make the film "Camp Barwis" a reality.  As usually happens after spending some time at Good Time Charley's, I had a very vivid dream, that this time, was half trailer, half dream.

The dream started with a bunch of fat linemen leaning against each other and rolling around on the ground, and a plump middle aged fellow with a moustache yelling at them (I'm thinking it was supposed to be Gittleson, but I don't know what he looks like).  Suddenly, there was a growly voice that said, "stop, this is my team" and the music from the Batman trailer cued, as the words "Camp Barwis" popped up in block maize lettering.  Then Barwis, (played by Billy Bob Thorton.  Yes, I realize this makes no sense, and I guess my brain generally sucks at casting badass cagefighting warriors) runs over and punches Gittleson and he literally explodes.  

The next time we see the players, rather than fat slobs they are the nerdiest nerds that ever lived, and they are running from Barwis (who isn't Thorton anymore, but is actually the real guy).  At this point it got a bit chaotic as the nerd players ran around, but eventually the left the field and were somehow in ancient Rome (again, I don't get it).  

Finally, Barwis chases them into the colliseum and once again, they have transformed and are now ridiculously jacked.  Just as they are about to face off, I wake up because I have to poop.

I want this movie to actually happen. 



July 25th, 2008 at 1:54 PM ^

When you said they were somehow in ancient Rome, I immediately thought of Gladiator and them just being in the background of the final fight. Somehow, I'm not sure that even Chuck Norris would be manly enough to play Barwis. So, you'd either have to get the man, the myth, the legend to play himself or go with the second best thing... a grizzly bear with a hat on. I think that only the mightly grizzly can come close to the awe and power that is Barwis (not to mention it's just about the only thing that can inspire as much fear into the human heart as the prospect of a Barwis workout). If you were at Good Time Charley's, you must've been in A2. I'm taking classes this summer, maybe I'll see you around (figuratively speaking of course).


July 25th, 2008 at 1:59 PM ^

what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


July 25th, 2008 at 11:46 PM ^

I've come into contact with waaay too much Disney- when i first saw the title, it was not fighting bears or turning Brandon Graham into 275 pounds of baddass that came to my mind: no, it was Camp Rock. Yes, Master Barwis, I will go run my stadium steps now.