Black Heart Gold Pants Sucks

Submitted by Max on July 2nd, 2008 at 11:14 AM…

While I really enjoyed getting the shout-out, this post was garbage. If I was Brian and had the motivation and desire to throw back a detailed rebuttal, I would. But I'm not, so I won't. Any Michigan fan worth his salt can identify the fallacies saturating BHGP's post.

"Consider yourself warned, Michigan."…

Consider yourself owned, Iowa.


Oops Pow Surprise

July 2nd, 2008 at 11:52 AM ^

We did it first, ergo plagiarism of the baldest kind. You should be kicked off the Internet and sent to darkest Peru, "Max" (again, doubtless a nom de guerre).

And we're still owed an explanation on what this "NBA" talk is about. Is that some sort of terrorist thing? What's it stand for, Northern Ba'athist Army? Jesus, start loving America and stop ripping off good and wholesome blogs like BHGP.


Oops Pow Surprise

July 2nd, 2008 at 12:02 PM ^

Sure, how about a Coke soda, medium, maybe a potato salad, small seasoned curlies... oh, and a massive serving of BEEF. WE'RE BEEFIN NOW EM-EFFER, WEST SIDE TILL I DIE, YOU MOTHER TRUCKERS CAN'T BE US OR SEE US


July 2nd, 2008 at 11:32 AM ^

"Where no longer prestigious enough to lure away your coach unless you're West Virginia happens," ____ not getting their coach was one of the best things to ever happen involving Michigan football.


July 2nd, 2008 at 1:00 PM ^

Can I get my fellow Michigan fans to stop calling "scoreboard" and perhaps come up with a witty retort on occasion? His point is not that Michigan sucks, Max. His point is that we have sticks up our asses, and you've just confirmed it.


July 2nd, 2008 at 2:13 PM ^

It's like that time some guy from Florida told me it was warmer down there than it is in Michigan - I was all BITCH SCOREBOARD CAP1 BOOYAH and he was all types of yeaaa dawg guess you are right you did beat us that makes it so and I was all MOTHERFUCKA YOU RIGHT WE BEAT YOU

Hawkeye State

July 2nd, 2008 at 3:04 PM ^

For all the talk from you Cooksuckers, your boys sure are hesitant to schedule the Hawkeyes. Still hurting from 2003, Wolverines? You sure talk a lot, but when it comes time to schedule, you say, "PLEASE PLEASE DON'T HURT US IOWA! WE'LL PLAY NOTRE DAME! WE'LL PLAY THE UTES! ANYONE BUT IOWA! ANYONE!" I don't blame you; Michigan was so afraid of Ferentz that they offered him a palace fit for a king and all the gold and silver in the state to take that thankless job. Unfortunately for you, all the gold and silver in Michigan totaled about $1.27. DETROIT RIOT! DETROIT RIOT! Ferentz knows he's at the better program, though. At least our fans are capable of standing from time to time. Quit dodging the Hawkeyes and we'll talk. Until then, you remain pwned.

big gay heart

July 2nd, 2008 at 3:20 PM ^

Little known fact about Iowa: Iowa is the only state in the continental United States to be comprised solely of the following two (2) demographic populations:


1. Pussies 2. Retards



July 3rd, 2008 at 9:39 AM ^

HS, the point was that, initially, Brian was up in arms over the post.  His apology was offered only after he was informed of your post's intentions.  Therefore, saying something like "Anybody who falls for a BHGP post is dumb," is indeed an indictment on Brian.  Fight On!

chitownblue (not verified)

July 2nd, 2008 at 7:29 PM ^

The fact that like 70% of these people are actually taking umbrage with the alway funny BHGP makes me really, really, sad. If yo're taking their posts this seriously, you're too stupid to understand the point. Holy shit.

chitownblue (not verified)

July 2nd, 2008 at 7:58 PM ^

Yeah, I was trying to think of a funny riposte to the idiocy, but then I realized that my feelings of scorn were too strong, and I had to keep it literal.


July 2nd, 2008 at 10:48 PM ^

Much truth is said in jest.

 Of course I know that the majority of what he's saying is satirical (scheduling, NBA comments, et cetera) - how could someone possibly enjoy Iowa football without a good sense of humor?

 That said, I have little patience for anyone with such disrespect for Michigan football, regardless of the tone.


July 3rd, 2008 at 3:04 PM ^

You guys all look so dumb now.  You see, all my posts have actually been ironic and sarcastic, and thus witty and funny.  Anybody who didn't get that is a square.

chitownblue (not verified)

July 2nd, 2008 at 11:32 PM ^

Why would a fan and graduate of another school hold reverence for Michigan? Do you revere Florida? Or USC? BGHP writes about 98% comedy. Brian and the various BGHP writers are bloggy-buddies. If you reply in any sort of serious manner to anything they write, you're falling into their devious trap for dumb people.


July 3rd, 2008 at 8:15 AM ^

gave me Nam like flashbacks. Is it going to be an every 6 months tradition now that BHGP makes a joke and dozens of crazy internet Michigan e-thugs get aroused and start talking about PWNAGE ON THE FIELD and taking it extremely personal?

chitownblue (not verified)

July 3rd, 2008 at 10:02 AM ^

Which makes it extremely convenient that the last sentence of Brian's retraction reads: "I am the stupidest."


July 3rd, 2008 at 10:43 AM ^

graduated from Iowa in the early 60's and every year he says "This will be the year, watch out for Iowa" now that he has Alzheimer's it isn't so funny but at least he has hope again.

big gay heart

July 3rd, 2008 at 1:50 PM ^

The NCAA needs to form a "Bio-Diesal Producers Conference" and stick Iowa, Iowa State, Nebraska, Missouri, Kanasas, and other shitty, relevant schools in it. That's right; fuck corn.

Hawkeye State

July 3rd, 2008 at 4:20 PM ^

Let's take it one step further and form a "Unemployed Crime-Infested Rotting Corpses of Manufacturing Conference."  That way Michigan can play a rotation of Michigan State, Ohio State, the MAC, and that Catholic school outside Gary, Indiana every season.  Maybe you could add Rutgers and Temple!  It's a Michigan Man's wet dream!

  That is, until everyone leaves your gray, bleak, miserable hellscape of a state in their foreign-built vehicles.