The B10 as Game of Thrones Characters

Submitted by MGoBender on June 1st, 2014 at 5:43 PM

Okay, inspired by Breaking B1G, here's the Big Ten as Game of Thrones characters.  A note on spoilers: These comparisons may contain info from the TV series through the most recent episode, but not through future events contained in the books.  Enjoy - and debate and correct me below!  With so many GoT characters, I had to leave many great ones out, so I'd love to hear yours!

 

 

Michigan

Jon Snow, one of the few true heroes we can root for in Game of Thrones.  He comes from a historic family that has fallen on hard times. While Jon’s talents seem to be spoiled away for scoffers on The Wall, you know it is only a matter of time before he reclaims the Stark name as one to be reckoned with.

 

 

Ohio State

Tywin Lannister, basically a giant dick.  But he’s a smart one and totally okay with skirting whatever rules, customs or traditions needed in order to secure the legacy of the Lannister name.  Mastermind a massacre at a wedding?  Sure.  Pit your sons against each other so you can get what you want?  Of course.  You hated his bastard grandson because he was pure evil, but you hate Tywin not because of his inherent evil, but because he’s willing to use his superior intellect in evil ways.

 

Michigan State

Rickon, little brother of Jon Snow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Penn State

Danaerys Targaryean.  From a line of past kings, Dany now hopes to reclaim what was once her family’s.  Things were starting to look good for a while – a young, up and coming warrior jumped on board and they did some damage, taking hold of several cities.  However, before Dany could set sail for her ultimate prize, that young up and comer left to go settle restlessness in previously conquered cities.  So now Dany sits in Mereen.  And rules.  She’s the biggest fish in Slaver’s Bay, but she still is a long way off from once again challenging the other powers.

 

Nebraska

Mance Rayder, king of the land of waste and nothingness north of the wall.  Mance lives in a land that has little as far as entertainment, culture or civilization in general, really.  Yet, he is King in that vast waste and corn farmers tribes north of the wall follow him, to hopeful glory.  Mance has yet to take total power, but it would be foolish to ignore him.

 

Wisconsin

Mace Tyrell is kinda just around.  He’s a big deal because he holds the cards to Highgarden, but really everyone knows that other people are running the show.  He does what can to bolster the Tyrell name, attaching his daughter to the soon-to-be-king de jour.  But in the end, he’s not the prize his daughter is.  He doesn’t have the wits his mother-in-law does, nor the youth  and strength of his other prized child.  He just exists out of necessity.

 

Minnesota

Hot Pie is a jovial young lad that basically stays out of the fray of all the major players.  Historically, Hot Pie had some powerful allies, but decided to stay on the sidelines and avoid the troubles of warfare.  Hot Pie does cook in a fancy new restaurant now and occasionally provides some intrigue.

 

 

 

Illinois

Selyse Baratheon is Stannis’ wife and the queen of Dragonstone.  Despite this, Stannis has a mistress who has given him a son… of sorts.  Selyse doesn’t come out and say it, but she looks at Melisandre as quite the rival.  The problem is nobody cares enough about Selyse to consider her a rival.

 

Purdue

Poddrick isn’t crucial to anything, really.  But he’s smart and he works hard, despite not having a famous name or pedigree.  And he always seem to be good for some surprises here and there.  Plus, rumor is that Pod has quite a big, err... drum.

 

 

 

Iowa

Stannis Baratheon is unwilling to bend to any new ways.  Stannis has the rightful claim to the throne but .the problem is nobody cares. Stannis is uncharismatic, cold, grey, bland and a punt-a-saur.  Everyone recognizes that he always could be a threat, but also quickly dismiss him as a relic of the past. 

 

 

 

Northwestern

Tyrion Lannister.  Tyrion is the smartest player in the game.  Unlike the other major powers who rely on brawn, speed, and recruiting, Tyrion plays the game by outwitting his opponents.  While that allows him to play with the big boys, his disadvantage is cripples his potential in the Game.

 

 

 

 

Indiana

Sansa Stark  Pretty to look at, important because of her mere existance, but fairly inconsequential 

 

 

 

 

Maryland

Walder Frey.  Walder Frey was originally aligned with the Starks and the North.  However, sensing an opportunity for a payday, Walder turned coat and aligned with the Lannisters.  Walder Frey’s house gains a bit of prestige in the process, but everyone still considers them a house of little influence and power.

 

 

Rutgers

Hodor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

ClearEyesFullHart

June 1st, 2014 at 8:41 PM ^

Although I cannot Imagine how you overlooked MSU as Theon Greyjoy. He was brought up as one of the Stark family, but could only stew in his inferiority complex(drowning his self-loathing in easy women and drink) before ultimately taking Winterfell(B1G Championship). Now he just doesn't have the men to hold it. Very much looking forward to the castration scene.

MGoBender

June 1st, 2014 at 8:46 PM ^

Ah, yes, well done.  I hadn't even thought of Theon.  It was tough putting this together - I would think of a group of GoT characters and suddenly remember 4 other characters I had forgot about.

I was actually considering going with Oberyn Martell for MSU.  Second son, constantly looking for respect.  But I don't know what's going to happen on tonight's episode (No spoilers for the next 80 minutes!), so I thought it was a risky play.

Hail-Storm

June 2nd, 2014 at 11:35 AM ^

but the Theon for MSU would be a major upgrade.  I also think that there is probably a better fit for UofM, but like you said, it is hard to figure out which one. I would have liked the Robb Stark for Michigan before, because it fit with the Theon, king of the North, and fighting with Tywin, but if you are being up to date, that doesn't work as well. 

 

I've only read the books so not sure how the show is different. So Hodor was great, but I think Minnesota could possibly get a bigger role than hot pie.

Great post and a lot of fun, especially in the off season.

tsbilly

June 1st, 2014 at 8:45 PM ^

I googled " punt-a saur" looking for the french translation to see what it means {I love playing crossword puzzles.. any little bit helps].... then I laughed at my own stupidity. Then I laughed at the French for how apropos the term is.

 

I got a stupid amount of giggles from that one line. Kudos to the writer.

ST3

June 2nd, 2014 at 11:02 AM ^

I thought about this some more, and I think the answer is obvious - Bran Stark. He's from the north and all the other Stark reasons, plus he can't run and neither can Michigan (27 for 27,) but when he wargs into a Dire Wolf (which is basically a wolverine raised on dilithium - remember those days?) he's a serious bad ass. Think JMFR.

Ryno2317

June 2nd, 2014 at 1:30 AM ^

I would also say OSU is House Bolton. They are cruel bastards that will so anything to bring down the just rulers of the North. Winter is Coming.

Seriously

June 2nd, 2014 at 9:18 PM ^

Penn State is Craster:  Depraved and belligerent.

Michigan is Jaime Lannister:  Intelligent and casually arrogant in a good-humored way.  Painfully remembers being elite, and can't quite come to terms with his decline into mediocrity (although the potential of a return to greatness is there).

Notre Dame is Cersei:  Aging, but still attractive. Less intelligent and more arrogant than Jaime.  Suffers from delusions of competence.

Michigan State is the Hound:  Rude, ugly and illiterate, and yet undeniably impressive.  Looks destined to meet a bad end.

Urbz is Littlefinger:  Sharpest player in the game. Maddeningly persuasive.  Reprehensible moustache.

eth2

June 4th, 2014 at 3:37 PM ^

This has been done on the Interwebs before where I've seen B10 programs mapped to GoT families. In that case Michigan was equated with the Lannisters.

As far as the OP's take, I agree on most with one huge exception, the Ohio State as Tywin. Any time you say superior intellect and Ohio State, you have completely lost me. If you were doing B10 coaches, I might buy Urban as Tywin, but as another poster already suggested, Little Finger is a much better fit. I had recently gone through this with a friend and fellow M grad. The Hoke = HODOR! was unavoidable. And yes, I've learned to have a much healthier sense of humor about our program lately. 

MGoBender

June 5th, 2014 at 11:56 AM ^

Littlefinger is a good fit.  For the record, though, you're correct: I was thinking Tywin == Urbz.  And really the Tywin == Tressel comparison is pretty apt, which is why I think I went that way..