2009 Michigan Football Drinking Game

Submitted by El Trotsky on September 4th, 2009 at 7:07 PM
Alright, this upcoming season has been detailed and previewed a thousand ways from Sunday in a much better fashion than I could ever hope to do myself. As such, I am going to contribute in a fashion that I can actually do well: drinking. I was a fairly regular contributor in the live chats last year (I was not the one not approving all of your awesome comments though, don’t look at me), and was pretty much always drunk or approaching it while doing so, so without further delay, I present the Michigan Football 2009 Drinking Game

For the record, a “drink” for me is generally a hearty gulp of whatever you happen to have on hand. For me, this week, this means Beck’s Oktoberfest, New Amsterdam Gin, Sailor Jerry Navy Rum, Goldschlager, and an awful well tequila only used if things get really, really bad. Here are the ground rules:

1 Drink for:

-    Any mention of the practice limits “scandal”. This is a recent event, so I figure it will     be mentioned quite a bit. Our livers are not in midseason form yet, so 1 drink it is.

-    Any mention of the 2008 season coinciding with a mention like “historically bad” or     “first losing season in a long time” or an annoying snarky remark like “they aren’t used to seasons like that in Ann Arbor.” Again, probably a frequent thing, don’t want     to drown ourselves in booze just yet, etc.

-    Any video segment about the construction upgrades to the Big House. Not a bad         thing, but worth drinking to since it will undoubtedly happen.

-    We lose the coin flip. Hey, why not.

2 Drinks for:

-    A fumbled punt or kickoff return. Self explanatory, hold on to the goddamn ball             please.

-    A screen pass/lateral thrown backwards.

-    Fumbled snap.

-    An opposing field goal.

-    Any mention of Denard playing without shoelaces.

3 Drinks for:

-    Any mention of the scandals of yesteryear: paper shredding, family values, etc.

-    Any comparison between UM and WVU.

-    Any mention of Notre Dame. Just because I hate them. Even more than OSU,             although I know that’s not common. Switch the two if you feel the reverse.

4 Drinks for:

-    An opposing touchdown.

-    Any Michigan injury. Goes double if it’s Brandon Graham.

Angry Shots for:

-    Nick Sheridan entering the game. Even if only in a Darko-like victory cigar capacity, I still need to calm my nerves when this happens

That’s what I’ll be drinking to every week. I obviously tend to drink to calm anger during games.

WMU specific rules:

I don’t really hate WMU with any passion, but I can think of a few things I will be drinking to this game:

1 Drink for:

-    Any mention of the distance between Kalamazoo and Ann Arbor (~100 miles)
-    If you see anyone you graduated high school with who is still enrolled at Western          for a 5th+ year. I do know several.

Chug Until Vomit for:

    - Actually losing to WMU. We really, really need to win this game.

Leave any revision suggestions or ideas for Notre Dame specific rules in the comments. Happy drinking. Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;}

Comments

Drederick Tatum

September 4th, 2009 at 9:21 PM ^

it's a new season, can we have some optimistic rules (especially since drinking can be a rewarding, celebratory experience, and not just a cathartic, demon-purging one - last year excepted of course)?

In that vein, suggestions:

1 drink anytime a freshman makes a tackle, x2 if for a loss, x3 for a sack (we're going to need them this year) - and x1 for a broken up pass

Anytime Shaw or Martavious breaks a tackle x2, or anytime Minor goes around a defender rather than through him.

Any one-handed grab drink

Any pancake block drink

Anytime Zoltan takes off with the ball, immediately start drinking, don't stop until the plays dies (so be ready on punts) - and if any high stepping is involved cap your drinking with a from-the-bottle swig of tequila (I will be drinking Cofradia, so an easier commitment from me).

Obvious stuff like scores, forced turnovers, sacks, hell first downs if you like can obviously be mandated drinks as well.