10 things I hate about The Wisconsin Badgers

Submitted by The Shredder on November 19th, 2010 at 3:06 PM

10. Ron Dayne- Sure he holds some NCAA records and could out eat John Candy in a Hot Wings contest but nothing was more frustrating than watching a guard play running back and do it so well. Like God took Barry Sanders feet and pasted them onto Ron Dayne for a sick joke. Oh well... Michigan got the last laugh.

9. That 70s Show- I know it doesn't have much to do with the Badgers besides the show taking place in Wisconsin... I still hate that show. Besides looking at Mila Kunis(Jackie) and watching the bad guy from Robocop it sucked. I never enjoyed Horse Face/Man Voice Donna and all the lame 14 year old pot head humor. I won't even get into the awful "That 80s show" that spawned from it and lasted a week or the fact that Fez.. never mind.

8.Bucky the Badger- I mean he is so top heavy and hooky. He doesn't even have a neck. He does push ups after touchdowns.. How original. He also looks like a furry candy cane. Maybe this is a reach but still...

7.The "W"- It's pure ugly. It's all squashed and....dumb. I mean it barely looks like a "W". Looks like Devil writing with all those points and red.

6.Camp Randall- Whats with naming the stadium after a campground? Sounds like a place my dad took us up north for our crappy family camping trips. Also whats with that Church/warehouse? Looks so out of place. The place is a poor mans Horseshoe in some respects. Jump around isn't that cool either. It was better in Happy Gilmore.

5.The Perverted Band- "This one time in Camp Randall." In 2008 you sick loony pervs were suspended for the Ohio State game. I guess keeping the public safe from a bunch of hazing drunk super sex freaks was in order. Not that the OSU fans would have minded. They love hazing drunk super sex freaks. Next time take your sick little band games to the internet. At least you will make money. Oh and they lost because of you..

4. Orson Welles- Again didn't attend UW that I am aware of but I hate frozen peas.


3. Bo Ryan- Yeah... Alright he has been pretty good but... Boring! When you do the eye ball test on his basketball teams you think they look like the worst team in the Big Ten. A bunch of ugly white dudes who box out and and play defense... oh and take smart shots. How boring winning must be. His poor man's (yes that phrase again) Pat Riley looks awful. Pat would throw hair grease in his eyes for dishonoring his look.

Whats that shit on your face?

2. James Kamoku- You son of a bitch! You think you can put your god damn hands on Steve Breaston and get away with it? DO YOU!? This amateur during a 2006 UM vs UW punt return decided to try and rip Steve's ankle off. It was caught on TV. Karma is a bitch since last I saw you played for some fake football team called the "Wolf Pac". Guess what happened to this dirt ball for his bush league act? NOTHING! That brings me to number...one.

1. Bret Bielema- I know right? Predictable? Yes he's an easy number one. His fat ugly head has made him a pretty big D bag around the league. Last week he nearly killed a man. Alright he didn't but he did smash the poor Indiana people for 83 points for no damn reason. He also ran the score up on the handicapped Gophers. This dude is such a sleeeeze ball. He looks so creepy, like I would see him in the Golden Lion off of US-23 searching for his favorite adult magazine. So in closing he is a smug ugly man who is in favor of no sportsmanship and dirty play... oh and he hates Care Bears.... and I don't like him.


Dark Blue

November 19th, 2010 at 4:02 PM ^

This is gonna be kind of a spam post but you're gonna have to deal with it.

The Shredder currently runs midnightmaize.blogspot.com which is a pretty good Michigan blog for those of you with a sense of humor. We don't break any news over there, we mostly just try to laugh, and to love U of M athletics.

MM offers a liveblog Monday-Wednesday, and Friday usually starting at Midnight. The only blog on the blogosphere to do this. These liveblogs have become ghost towns lately. Drop in a check them out, you don't have to know anything to come, just bring you're love of MICH!

Also a sidenote: Shredder has been the only one creating content lately, but that is gonna change starting Monday. My schedule has been really busy, so I haven't had a chance, but come Monday things should settle down a bit.

Thanks guys


November 19th, 2010 at 4:03 PM ^

Wait we have forgotten how great jump around is in Camp Randell and how that one song at the end of the third quarter will instantly change the fortunes of the Wisconson football team.


November 19th, 2010 at 4:48 PM ^

What used to bother me the most about Wisconsin was their schedule.  In addition to the non-conference schedule, it always seemed like they didn't usually play one of the good teams.  Throw in a lucky win or two and you had Wisconsin faking their way to the top.  Now that they are reasonably decent, we need to put them back in their place with a lot of pain for interest.


November 19th, 2010 at 5:04 PM ^

Good list.  And obviously I agree with #1 and #2. 

But in your hate of Ron Dayne, you're still giving him too much credit.  GOD didn't take Barry Sanders feet and put them on Dayne.  Far from it.  Dayne simply had the pleasure of running wild on incredibly "strong" opponents: Muarry State, Cincinnati, Ball State, San Diego State, Ohio, UNLV, San Jose State.  Yet when it came time to play the big boys, teams that were actually ranked, he would average an impressive 45 yards or so per game.  His two games against Michigan were a joke.  53 yards in 1998 and 88 yards in 1999. 

Good thing Peter Warrick got arrested.  Otherwise, Dayne never would have even won the Heisman.   

oriental andrew

November 19th, 2010 at 5:26 PM ^

For the record, I looked up his career rushing stats. There is something to running wild over weak non-con cupcakes, but he also abused many conference foes.  His average rushing yards / min / max, by big ten team from 1996 - 1999:

  • Illinois: 228.7 / 190 / 289
  • Indiana: 166.3 / 130 / 202
  • Iowa: 116.5 / 24 / 216
  • Michigan: 70.5 / 53 / 88
  • msu: 147.5 / 81 / 295
  • Minnesota: 173.3 / 80 / 297
  • Northwestern: 140.5 / 93 / 168
  • ohio state: 113.0 / 65 / 161
  • Penn State: 116.7 / 95 / 129
  • Purdue: 183.5 / 127 / 244

In 1997, his soph year, was a little weird.  He had 3 200+ yard performances (SJSU, Ind, Ill) and 3 sub-50 yard performances (Cuse, Iowa, Georgia).  I'm convinced that had Michigan played Wisco that year, they would have shut down Dayne.  It was 1997, after all.  

In 1998, he broke 100 yards in every game except for two.  Penn State held him to 95 yards, while Michigan held him to a paltry 53 yards on 16 carries, his lowest yd per carry of the season also.

In 1999, he went over 200 yards FIVE times.  He was held under 100 yards twice - Michigan held him to 88 yards on 22 carries, and Minnesota (!) held him to a paltry 80 yards (!!!) on 25 (!!!!!!) carries.  Was Minny good that year??? 


November 19th, 2010 at 5:51 PM ^

Yeah, Minnesota was pretty good in 1999.  They went 8-4.  3 of their losses were by 3 points or less.  They had Oregon beat in the Sun Bowl until a last minute win by the Ducks. 

As for abusing conference foes, here were the records of those Big Ten teams he abused.

1999:  Ohio State (6-6), Indiana (4-7), Northwestern (3-8), Purdue (7-5), Iowa (1-10).

1998:  Northwestern (3-9), Indiana (4-7), Penn State (8-4), Illinois (3-8), Iowa (3-8), Minnesota (5-6).

1997: Indiana (2-9), Northwestern (5-7), Illinois (0-11), Minnesota (3-9), Iowa (7-5). 

He lost to Michigan twice.  He got blasted by a 9-3 Purdue team in 1997 and he got blasted by a 9-3 Penn State in 1997.

He had one win over a top ten Big Ten school in his 4 years.  MSU who surprised everyone by going 10-2.  Basically he ran up about 85% of his career against awful teams.

That's why I was never impressed by him.  When he won the Heisman, that's when I stopped caring about that trophy.  To win that award by crushing a bunch of nobodies just didn't seem right.


November 19th, 2010 at 8:01 PM ^

the "fifth quarter" needs a better name.  also, jump around is stupid.  as are pretty much all traditions based upon 1990s fake rap songs.

Ann Arbor Cardinal

November 20th, 2010 at 9:54 PM ^

in his post-game interview:

"What we do isn't pretty," Bielema said. "A lot of places, there's a certain emphasis on being pretty and being individualized on players."

That seemed to be a shot at Michigan, especially after Bielema was asked about Denard Robinson's 360-yard, four-TD performance.

"For them, that's great," Bielema said. "We would never recruit to that."


Why not just stick with, "They played hard, they're going to be tough to beat next year, etc."?

Louie C

November 20th, 2010 at 12:23 AM ^

The fans and their lame ass chants get on my damn nerves. What's with that monotone "first and ten Wisconsin" every goddamn first down? Stephen Hawking could say it with more feeling. I ended up watching the rest of last year's game on mute to keep from hearing that shit.

I also remember when Dayne was there, after every rushing attempt they would say his name in that same annoying tone. They are such cornballs. And oh yeah, Bielema's a douche.


November 20th, 2010 at 1:31 AM ^

I don't remember the chants, but 2008 Wiscy fans were worse than any other fans I've seen in the Big House (including tOSU, though '07 tOSU is second). They were drunken assholes that spent the first three quarters being drunken assholes. Staying to the end of the game after 3/4ths of my friends left and watching them sulking at the end was glorious.

L'Carpetron Do…

November 20th, 2010 at 6:01 PM ^

Ooh, ooh, ooh can we do one for Ohio State now?  How about the 10,000 things I hate about Ohio State?  Here are a few in no particular order...

1. The state of Ohio

2. The people of Ohio

3. Jim Tressel

4. Their basketball coach who looks like a pigeon.

5. George Steinbrenner

6. Woody Hayes

7. Ohio State students and the even classier fans who didn't go there

8. The lake they jump into every year before the Michigan game.  Scientific studies show significant amounts of urine in it afterwards.  Nice.

9.  Their goddamn band

10.  The nauseating, vile group of creatures over the years who have played for the Buckeyes.  Of the most reprehensible: AJ HAWK, MAURICE CLARETT, David Boston, Terry Glenn, Kenyon Rambo, Nate Salley, Andy Katzenmoyer, Michael Doss, Beanie Wells, Bobby Carpenter, Ted Ginn, Jr., Dustin Fox, Steve Bellisari, Donny Nickey, Anthony Shlegel, Chris Gamble,  James Laurinitis, Ashton Youboty, Antoine Winfield, that fucking Gonzalez creep, Brian Hartline, Mike Vrabel (I just choked back vomit), Brian Robiskie, Santonio Holmes, Johnny Utah and NFL bust and steroid fiend Vernon Gholston.   Oh there's more, please add your own!

11. The current crop of dirtbags: JUSTIN "ET TU BRUTE BUCKEYE" BOREN, ugly-as-sin Ross Homan who I'm sure should be in jail for something, Cam "Dickhead" Heyward, Terrelle Pryor (he looks like Nelly and is also a traitorous dog), "Boom" Herron, Wes Welker wannabes Stoneburner and Dane Sanzenbacher and T.J. Shugarts who was classy enough to wear a skullcap in the ABC stock photo of him.  Don't worry - there's more!

Oh God, a victory on Saturday would be sweet, sweet justice.  

(Pleas disregard my name - its an old nickname and I assure you has nothing to do with Ohio State)


March 18th, 2012 at 9:12 PM ^

1. There Overrated in all sports : as far as i see it .. if you wanna sit at the BIG BOY'S table where the champions ( past and present ) are then you gotta win titles. In Football UW has 0 , while the other teams ( UM, MSU,OSU Ex.. ) at least have ONE.. yet they settle for " we made the Rose Bowl and represented the Big Ten" --an excuse their old coach ( Barry Alvarez  ) used time and time again , In Hockey UM has 9 Championships... has UW even won a title in hocke and was it ages ago? -- Basketball - the same thing. They made it to the NCAA tourney what? 10 times in a row .. maybe more yet their fans say "oh well at least we made it" as an argument  -- what? sorry doesn't fly when your last title was in 1941 and you blew every chance you had so far at at lest making it 2 Titles in your basketball programs history. couldn't win under Dick Bennet and now under their current coach ... they settle for Settling !

2. Their Players are Overrated : Ron Dayne was the big man on campus ( litteratly ) and then he went to college and ... got FAT , out of shape and didn't do squat for the Giants. The best player position thats come out of that college is OL men .. THATS IT ! meanwhile ( although not as often ) we got guys like Tom Brady, Desmond Howard, Charles Woodson ex.. who go on to become top players on their teams, leaders and most importantly ... Super Bowl Champions.

3. Their fans are COCKY and for no reason : Their Team has no ( recent titles ) in any sport, their not even the BEST TEAM IN THEIR STATE ( that goes to the Green Bay Packers which are more beloved and talked about all year round even after the season ends ) and their not even one of the best teams in the division. Michigan ( no matter how much they struggle ) are still the best in the division along with rivals OSU, MSU , Penn State , and now Nebraska ( in football only ) to name a few... doesn't matter HOW many times they made the Tourney or the Rose Bowl.. the other teams i named above won "Titles". I use to be friends with a Bager fan and unfortunatly he was the type of person i named ( cocky ) and his cousin who i met .. as soon as i told her i was a UM fan ( without even talking with me  ) she went "hmph" and walked away ....

4. They OVERHYPE EVERYTHING ! : Their Football Stadium ( Camp Randal ) is the loudest, thier Basketball arena ( The Kohl Center ) is the loudest and their fans are the roudiest , their "Jump Around" shows how much they get hyped for the 3rd Qt ( something like that ) --- Their Mascot ( Buckey Badger ) is suppose to be some kind of cool mascot that distracts the other team or hypes theirs up but in reality their Stadium sucks ( what kinda team that plays outside has  that crappy  of a field surface -even the Packers have more guts ) their basketball arena isn't even the best in the nation, Jump around is just as stupid as the wave to distract fans, and their mascot looks like an idiot.


Like the old saying goes .. no matter how much you polish a turd its still a turd.


November 15th, 2013 at 7:40 PM ^