10 things I hate about The Notre Dame Fighting Irish

Submitted by The Shredder on September 21st, 2012 at 5:16 AM

I wrote this a few seasons back. Its still good for a chuckle. I cut out 5 to avoid feeding the monkey. What could the new 5 be? 

 

10. We are Notre Dame.... No I will not link it. 

 

9.Notre Dame Stadium 

A highlight from last weeks USF vs ND game

I remember a short time ago when the Big House was outdated but now is a thing of beauty. At least the Big House had some sort of stats and video for replays before all the updates. Going to a game at Notre Dame Stadium is like going back in time to 1955 in Docs DeLorean. I think all the fans drive there wind up old model Ts to the Stadium every Saturday to tail gate. Don't even get me going on the turf and the mess that it is. Seems like every game I watch the turf is a giant mess. Grass flying everywhere. The score board is a thing of 1975 with giant bulbs for score. No replays or stats. I will give it this. It does have cool clip art(like hands clapping) that displays a long the bottom. That is pretty 1992. So if you wanna go back in time then check a game out at Notre Dame Stadium... Bring your top hat.

8.Notre Dame Weather

 
Ehh..2008

I swear to god when I click over to NBC to watch ND the weather is always awful. Its like South Bend has rain monsoons every Saturday. If Michigan has a secondary hating god then Nortre Dame has a shitty weather god. I think they give a rain poncho with every season ticket purchase.

7.The Irish Ginger Dancing Mascot guy... thing.

Every year I have to look at some new pimpled face kid jumping around on the side line. I would love to see this try out. Like a line of 19 year old gingers all lined up doing their best "who stole my lucky charms?" impression. It may get higher ratings then American Idol.

6.The Fan Base(besides the MGO user Irish)

I have met a lot of you and anytime ND loses.. Its the Big Ten officials fault. Our coach sucks. We had dudes hurt. Blah Blah Blah. Armando Allen didn't step out of bounds... Oh yeah? I was there! Remember?
You guys bitched about this play for a good year. I was there. He stepped out. Oh and that Dorito was a tasty treat. 
 
5.Please don't feed the animals and their terrible blogs.
 
 
4.QBs from Douchebagala
For whatever reason the QBs that the Irish push out are either giant douchebags or can't make it in the NFL. The current crop of QBs seem a lot less of the D-Bag variety and more of the won't make it in the NFL variety. Brady Quinn and JIMMAAY! Are of the D-bag mold. The internet pictures are endless. What is going on here Brady? Brady what would mom say? Jimmy put some clothes on! I swear they have Lemon Parties every weekend(don't Google that). Your home planet of Douchebagala calls. Go home... and take Damefan1 with you.
 
3.Dr.Lou 
What can I say? He is the good Dr of spit. He really wouldn't be so bad if he could be fair when asked to pick games that include Notre Dame. It used to be cute but now it makes me go insane. I might even hit my wife if he picks Notre Dame to win the national championship one more time. I sometimes wonder if he has any idea where he is or that his partner Mayday might give him flash backs of World War I. The dude is old... He looked old when he coached ND. He has to be like 110 years old. God bless the old man but I can't take you any longer on my TV. 
 
2.Rudy
A story about a boy's quest to make the Fighting Irish team. It full of fluff and "you can do it" speeches. Like all movies it pushed the drama a bit(the team turning in their jerseys never happened). Most of it is true but you know some is complete crap. I liked it when I was a kid since the kid from "Goonies" was in it.. Now? Not so much. Boo Hoo my brothers a dick... Boo hoo I can't get into ND. Boo Hoo... Girls don't like me... Bah! 

1.Brian Kelly

Hey I like tough coaches as much as the other but I would be embarrassed if I were a fan and the University. The dude is straight up belittling the player. How is this a teaching moment? I got a hold of a mouth reader and this what got out the clip.
KELLY: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
KELLY: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! WHEN I GET YOU IN PRACTICE I WILL CUT OFF YOUR HEAD!
KELLY: I WILL PUNCH YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE! I DON'T CARE! YOU ARE DEAD TO ME! I WILL KICK YOUR DOG ON SUNDAY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!? YOUR MOM!
It was something like that. I mean come on. Like I said I know football is all about screaming but this is drunkin sailor yelling. I never liked you at GVSU and I don't like you now. I do think he can make it at ND but he has to be careful. The same kinds that hated on RR at Michigan will be doing the same at ND in no time if they haven't already. We saw what negativity can do to a program. It isn't pretty.

Comments

markinmsp

September 21st, 2012 at 1:50 PM ^

 Awesome! Great response. Have friends that were on the team at that time and few if any of the scholarship players could stand the guy, Montana included. They didn’t do any of the encouraging things portrayed in the film and tried as best they could to ignore him. They stated was a whiney smartass, thought everyone “owed” him, and would lie (or embellish) about everything. They never believed a word he said.

BornInAA

September 21st, 2012 at 7:34 AM ^

11. South Bend

What a stupid name for a city - it isn't in the South (it's in Northern Indiana - seriously you can't get more North in Indiana) and nothing around there bends (except the Irish football team - you fill in the details).

MaizeAndBlueWahoo

September 21st, 2012 at 3:54 PM ^

Delray?

(Tangent: I've never gotten the whole "Windsor is south Detroit!" thing, or for that matter the "there is no south Detroit" deal to begin with.  Michigan Ave. in Detroit is essentially "Zero Mile Road" which means it makes perfect sense to call anything south of it - Mexicantown, Delray, the Port of Detroit - "south Detroit."  I certainly wouldn't call it "the west side.")

lbpeley

September 21st, 2012 at 11:22 AM ^

the first few seconds of this. I'm the type of guy that gets really embarrassed for fools making fools of themselves. I can't even be within hearing distance of the TV when the wife watches whatever dreck laden shitshow du juor is on with assbags singing or doing some "talent".

Johnny Blood

September 21st, 2012 at 8:17 AM ^

I hate their tv contract which makes all of this possible... without it, they would slump back to their rightful place in the modern football landscape.  Damn you, NBC!  At least they have started moving some of their weaker games to the NBC sports channel and off the main network.  I really hope they don't renew.

drlars

September 21st, 2012 at 8:31 AM ^

I do hate ND, but I have to disagree with many of your items (notably except for #3).

First off, that girl in #10 is totally hot. The fact that she even made your top ten after being briefly shown on a televised game three years ago make me think thou protest too much, Shredder.

How about hating ND for the simple fact that their fans are so entitled?

I went to see us lose to them about 7 years ago. South Bend itself is a hole, but the campus is immaculate. I actually like their stadium... it was like a smaller (but CLEANER) version of our own stadium pre-renovation.

The thing that annoyed me was when my friend and I were getting ready to go into the stadium before the game, the chant from a group of students was: "S.A.T.s! S.A.T.s!...." I mean, who do you guys think you're playing? Save that crap for Sparty.

club2230

September 21st, 2012 at 9:15 AM ^

ND is perhaps the only school that has a fanbase that can out arrogant Michigan fans in matters of adherence to tradition and academic prowess. 

Notre Dame is French for Our Lady which is a reference to the Virgin Mary.  While I have no qualms with the name itself, it is French and NOT Irish.  It is not an Irish Catholic school.  The only Irish reference is the nickname whose origins are unclear.  Too much Irish embrace.

ND can get away with being independent.  I wish Michigan could.  

 

Lionsfan

September 21st, 2012 at 8:35 PM ^

BYU is kind of a unique case. They might be small time, but they're the official schools for Mormons, and the one most Mormons parents push them towards. And a quick Google search shows they have approximately 14.1 million Mormons in the world, so that's theoretically 14.1 million customers

phork

September 21st, 2012 at 9:20 AM ^

Montana didn't really debunk it, it was a well known fact.  Atleast to anyone that cared, which is no one.

I can't really argue a lot of those points.  I can tell you that the turf is being turf'd for fake turf sometime in the next 12 months.

I hate that mascot as well.

As far as the Allen thing goes, I never refuted the fact he was out once you saw the close up.  At the time it was fireworks and fire and brimstone.  Just can't refute actual facts in the end.  I recently had to post the picture on another forum when a guy said the BIG refs screwed because Allen was clearly in.  Pic showed, caption "Clearly".

BiSB

September 21st, 2012 at 9:43 AM ^

Green.

Look, your school can choose any colors it likes for its school colors. You want to be hunter orange and mauve? Knock yourself out. But once you choose your colors, THOSE ARE YOUR COLORS. You can't be all "we're blue and gold so OH MY GOD EVERYONE WEAR GREEN."

Brhino

September 21st, 2012 at 10:53 AM ^

The worst thing about the Armando Allen call is that the arguements went like this:
 

ND Fans: "HE DIDN'T STEP OUT OF BOUNDS WAAAAAAAAH REFS GOT THE CALL WROOOOONG"

Sane Fans: "Look, here's a screencap from the high def broadcast.  You can clearly see he stepped out of bounds."

ND FANS: "OKAY BUT THE REFS DON'T HAVE HIGH DEF TVS IN THE REPLAY BOOTH SO TECHNICALLY THEY GOT IT RIGHT BUT THEY SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN IT WROOOOOOOOONG"

4thand1

September 21st, 2012 at 11:12 AM ^

Random choice of fan-photos.  The guy in the green sweatshirt (in front of the USC TE flipping off the camera) is one of my best friends from college.  And, ironically, he went to high school with the zit-picking girl.

 

Cool Story, bro.

Avant's Hands

September 21st, 2012 at 12:36 PM ^

I was just going to post that I went to high school with all three of the kids in those photos. Really weird that they all ended up on this blog. Being from the South Bend area, I concur that the weather almost always sucks. They are trying to do a little work on the area surrounding ND, though. Still, though, the city is awful and I hate Notre Dame.

TrppWlbrnID

September 21st, 2012 at 11:14 AM ^

now, i know your first impulse is to say "wait, you hate these guys? i kind of like them. they have cool uniforms and this tough look on their face and do the same thing as each other in unison. what do you hate them?"

well, here is why. their function is to act as body guards for the marching band on road trips. THEY ARE THE BAND'S BODY GUARDS! way to make a big deal out of nothing. at any other school this position is filled by somebody's dad wearing a yellow windbreaker that probably is not even ND licensed gear. is a 24" tall fur hat really necessary to discourage someone from calling the saxophone player a fatty? also, their uniforms are Scottish, not Irish, so, there is that.

profitgoblue

September 21st, 2012 at 11:17 AM ^

The ND mascot is hands-down the most annoying thing about that team, and possibly the most annoying mascot/side-show in all of sports.  That little f-er is always on TV, always running around like an idiot.  I always tell whomever I am watching an ND game with at the time that I'd like to punch that guy in the throat.  I wonder if ND fans like him . . .

 

Needs

September 21st, 2012 at 11:31 AM ^

I can't believe you left off Rudy's indictment for defrauding investors in a pump and dump stock scheme. In Jon Chait's words, "If you never give up, you too can grow up to be a self-promoting swindler." The below article also contains helpful reminders that George Gipp didn't attend Notre Dame for two years while he played there and that Knute Rockne bet on games that he coached.

On further examination, perhaps Rudy should just be part of a broader catch all category: "All your legends are frauds."

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/12/rudy-indicted-for-stock-fraud.html