The Woolfolk Hangover, or: Bohemian Crapsody

Submitted by Brian on August 18th, 2010 at 11:59 AM

SO DID EVERYONE HAVE FUN LAST NIGHT CAN I GET A HELL YEA

YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH GIVE ME A FUCKIN' OTTER

henri-the-otter-of-ennuGET PUMPED IT'S AUGUST AND HENRI'S ALREADY OUT IT'S GOING TO BE A HELL OF A FALLLLLLLLLL

THE DEPTH CHART AT CORNER

1. DONOVAN WARREN

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2. TROY WOOLFOLK

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3. TLOY WOORFORK

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4. JUSTIN TURNER

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5. DEMAR DORSEY

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6. BOUBACAR CISSOKO

file-not-found7. THIS GUY FRUITLESSLY CHASING A 235 POUND INDIANA FRESHMAN (NOT THE WHITE ONE)

(CAPTION INFORMATION)
Indiana's Darius Willis runs 90 yards for a fourth quarter touchdown.        Photos are of the University of Michigan vs. Indiana University at Michigan Stadium in Ann Arbor, September 26, 2009.  (The Detroit News / David Guralnick)

8. THIS GUY WHO TILTS HIS HEAD IN A NON-CONFIDENCE INSPIRING WAY

cullen1

9. RICHARD NIXON

richard_nixon 10. SOME OTHER FRESHMEN, THIS ONE A QUARTERBACK

courtney-avery-visit11. AND THIS ONE SPORTING A NAME CONFUSINGLY SIMILAR TO THAT OF HIS BROTHER, WHO IS 249 POUNDS AND WILL PROBABLY BE PLAYING THE SAME POSITION THIS FALL

terrence-talbott-hat

HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHICH HATS ARE UGLY YET

12. NIXON AGAIN

richard-nixon-sammy-davis-jr

13. JAMES ROGERS

…WAIT, SERIOUSLY, SAMMY DAVIS JUNIOR?

Comments

Njia

August 18th, 2010 at 12:18 PM ^

At least we know he can get his hands up when the ball's in the air.

Although, when I did a Google search for a picture of Tricky Dick, this came up, too. Read into it what you will:

Rampage9

August 18th, 2010 at 12:19 PM ^

Great support of the team. Glad to see you basically insult every remaining cornerback on the team. I would throw my waterbottle at you right now if given the chance.

M-Wolverine

August 18th, 2010 at 12:25 PM ^

I didn't know that...I'm not worried anymore.

But really, not the Muppets I wanted to see in August ("BUTTTT MOOOOIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!").  And while expected, I really never want to see that Otter again.

Does anyone else have Brian on watch today? And do we have a progression of leadership if he, well....

BrewCityBlue

August 18th, 2010 at 12:30 PM ^

Cullen seems like a confident kid. At least until i saw that picture along with our fearless leader's caption. Maybe he was looking into a crooked mirror while evening out his chapstick, getting ready for the picture, and the photographer tricked him? Yes, that is surely it.

Here's to his play on the field inspiring confidence in us all 17 days from now.

As a sidenote, when you bong ethanol, after the first couple gulps, everythign goes numb, and it gets easier from there.... just in case anyone was wondering...

Wolvmarine

August 18th, 2010 at 12:35 PM ^

This is probably the worst thing to happen since Antonio Bass's knee and Lloyd's Appalachian State loss. Although watching NO 2 Michigan loose to NO 1. Ohio State right before I deployed to Fallujah was pretty bad too.

iawolve

August 18th, 2010 at 12:38 PM ^

to outright fear on any passing down until this stabilizes (if it does). It is one thing to start the season with the "this might be a shaky secondary" to "let's blow it up". TW may not be an All-American, but he is pretty damn solid and the best guy we have playing in the back four. There is really no way to spin this in any way that is positive considering we have not seen much of our frosh class to this point. It is not impossible to start a freshman at DB, it is just better to do so with an experienced bunch around him. 

maizenbluenc

August 18th, 2010 at 12:39 PM ^

When I posted in this thread I was worried about risks, but excited. Well my Kool-Aid hangover is pretty bad today. I sure hope the young guys can step up.

Does anybody else feel that this makes the games with inexperienced QBs must win games (Penn State, Illinois, maybe ND is in that category)? Those are the guys we can rattle by attacking them ...

DoctorDave

August 18th, 2010 at 12:40 PM ^

Maybe the silver lining here is that the man who called out Tate has now gone down, and his place on the roster will be filled by the consummate song-and-dance man doing a swinging sideline version of The Victors? Wasn't there a line in a movie that went something like:

Every time Sammy Davis sings

Another QB gets his wings?

Or maybe I'm still delirious...

BornInAA

August 18th, 2010 at 12:54 PM ^

is showing good form on a tackle wrap.

Head low and to the side, wrap around the mid-section, lift and bring down.

Note: He is looking down at the ball he just popped loose from Nixon's weak grip.

Hold on to the damn ball Nixon!

jamiemac

August 18th, 2010 at 12:54 PM ^

Great post, under the circumstances, Brian. I laughed. Its the best--well, second best, medicine.

Also: I lost my effing shirt. I didnt think we'd see a post out of you until at least three. I have to stop getting suckered into Over bets. Hangovers after Cointreau can be killers.

That said, I will try and attempt to sugarcoat this.........but is a Cullen Christian/JT Floyd CB combo really going to totally suck that much worse than Floyd/Woolfolk would have?

To me, its dicey either way. And, hey if the secondary ends up being like the 8th best in the league, with basically nothing but true frosh, RS Frosh and RS Sophs playing, well thing things might be looking up for the future.

Folks: 9/4 is still arriving. We have a good, young team with some obvious flaws. Lets not bail out just yet. In fact, its ridiculous to do so. The guys have worked way too fucking hard to go Henri the Otter, people, so perk up, enjoy the rest of August and let's get it on on 9/4

UConn is still in big trouble.

bronxblue

August 18th, 2010 at 1:00 PM ^

Maybe I'm blindly optimistic, but there is still time for the depth chart to shake out and the coaches to implement whatever changes they can to compensate for this loss.  Imagine if this happened in the second or third game of the year?  At that point, you just throw whomever you have off the bench and pray he can hold up for the rest of the year.  Sure, you are basically throwing in freshmen and walk-ons, but that was going to be the case irrespective of whether or not TWolf played a down this season.

And with respect to the secondary with or without Woolfolk, it always looked like a weak link, and I always suspected the coaches were implementing whatever schemes they could to cover up this deficiency.  sure, Woolfolk back there would be best, but this team is going to be worked over in the secondary by any competent passing attack with or without him (at least early on - if they gel, then who knows).  I fully expect this team to have to outscore the other side to win, and not in the Joe Theisman/John Madden sorrt of way; I expect a whole bunch of 34-27 games in the future.

Slinginsam

August 18th, 2010 at 1:11 PM ^

UConn, ND, MSU, Iowa, IU, Purdue, Wisconsin, and tOSU all have pretty good QBs, and can generate lots of passing yardage.

If Gerg has to have his CBs play 8-10 yards off the line of scrimage(like two years ago), this could get ugly.

Man, we were getting so close.  Let's hope one of these kids can step up