Welcome to the SUMMER OF TRASH
You may be suffering from football apathy.
Michigan's coming off an abbreviated, 2-4 COVID season and has grim prospects going forward. Michigan chose to reboot the coaching staff without actually making a change at the top. They made an NFL position coach their defensive coordinator and have embarked on a project to change Michigan's heavily man-to-man approach into something resembling a modern, multiple, pattern-matching NFL defense. They're doing this with the same corners they had last year. There's going to be a lot of learning on the job.
On offense, both contenders for the starting QB job last year have transferred. The offensive line coach who everyone thought was great because he took the most broken blitz pickup schemes in the world and wove a superb pass pro offensive line out of them in two years. He's been replaced by a guy who—while a former OL—has no OL coaching experience.
Also Ohio State exists.
[After THE JUMP: WHAT TO DO ABOUT THIS]
The program has responded to this with its most buttoned-up offseason in memory, which is saying something when we're talking about a program with Lloyd Carr and Brady Hoke in its recent past. Poor Seth has been trying to mine nuggets out of an information environment that's the real bad parts of A Canticle for Leibowitz. The spring game is a distant memory:
Michigan football spring games during my time in college:
— Ethan Sears (@ethan_sears) April 10, 2021
2018: Rained out, not rescheduled
2019: Spring Practice with Controlled Scrimmage Elements
2020: Canceled due to COVID
2021: Behind closed doors. No fans, media or TV invited https://t.co/8crlKyTISP
People are yelling at us for posting desultory roster notes when fun guys leave the program for places that feel less cursed. And they're not wrong.
In desperation I asked Twitter what we should do in this great salt flat of an offseason, and Twitter responded.
A fan-fic where M goes undefeated in 2021 as Dan Villari is pressed into service and finishes second in Heisman voting ... to AJ Henning.
— Me (@WokeSince84) April 8, 2021
"Feed me trash, please," they said.
An alternative history of Michigan football that kicks off with Mike DeBord becoming the coach post-2007.
— Pete Mortensen (@morepete) April 7, 2021
OR
Alternative basketball history in which Michigan replaces Steve Fisher with Brian Dutcher instead of Ellerbe.
"I want to feel like I ate an entire Skyline Chili franchise."
Or what DBZ character each Big Ten football head coach is
— Drew (@DR_ILL) April 7, 2021
"Please google DBZ to find out what it is and say they're all… Vegeta? Also put yummy trash in my belly."
YMRMFSPA takes on every member of the A2 City Council.
— Mike Ruttinger (@MJRuttinger) April 7, 2021
"Feed your anti-social tendencies at the expense of your readers."
There were some actual requests for posts in there, including a surprising number of USMNT requests, that I intend to fulfill. I am also going to lean into the trash. You want Big Ten teams as Archer characters? Fine. Let's go. Let a thousand comparison posts that were played out in 2010 bloom. Wisconsin is Pam. Fact. Which sport? Doesn't matter. Tom Crean short fiction that nobody asked for? Yes. Phil Martelli as a world-weary Philly cop who just wants to find the best cheesesteak in town before his retirement but gets looped into investigating an underground ring of psychotic dolphin merchants? Absolutely. Water polo draftageddon? Uh… not that one.
When circumstances change we must adapt or die. Even now you are growing extra stomachs to ruminate through the broken glass, used diapers, and automotive waste I intend to shovel into your gaping maws. No complaints will be accepted. Compliments to the chef only. Let us begin.
John Beilein completely re-tooled his assistants after his third season, which was a disappointing 15-17. The next season they made the tournament, and two seasons later Michigan played in the NC game.
Whether similar improvements are forthcoming from the re-tooled football staff will determine Harbaugh's fate here.
Notre Dame went 4-8 in 2016, including an embarrassing loss at home to an embarrassing MSU team. Brian Kelly retooled his coaching staff. Notre Dame went 9-3 in 2017 and then made the playoff 2 of the next 3 seasons. Yes their schedule is easier but they are an example of how a program can turn around in a hurry if the right choices are made.
I don't know where it ranked nationally, but ND's 2017 schedule included #15 Georgia, #21 Stanford, #11 USC, #7 Miami, #17 LSU, #14 NCSt, plus MSU which can cause ND problems almost as often as it does Michigan.
Michigan's 2017 schedule had four ranked teams.
I wasn't referring to 2017 specifically, just that generally Notre Dame has it easier facing the ACC (Clemson accepted) and six non-con games than Michigan does facing the B1G East. Still, your point makes Notre Dame's turnaround even more impressive.
Sometimes a car performs poorly because of a bad part that needs to be replaced. Other times the car is fine but the driver isn’t very good. I guess we’ll find out which problem we have.
The problem is neither of those two problems.
The problem is that the driver picked the bad part in the first place, is also a bad driver, and is also a bad part picker, has lost the confidence of his passengers many of whom won't get in the car with him anymore, and the driver and car are also in the same division as OSU.
Bleen’s Ditch has it.
none of these good things mentioned above will happen for Michigan football because Harbaugh currently is not John Beilein or Brian Kelly.
Beilein is available, worth a shot?
April 13th, 2021 at 10:19 PM ^
Easier to do in basketball. Only 15 players. You get a few guys in your starting 5 playing good ball and it changes everything. Football teams have lots of positions on offense, defense, and special teams. We know that Michigan isn't just a piece or two away from being good. Gonna take more than getting a few guys playing well.
Haha yes...more trash please!
oh and on that football topic thing....its going to be weird when we all approach mid August and know very little about what the team will look like come first game. I'm assuming the practice/media lock downs will be just as bad (or is it good?) in fall camp...... so enjoy the summer all!
What's a stronger word for apathy? I'm in that area
I can only assume Michigan is Cyril Figgis.
This can only mean that Ohio State is Sterling Archer. I don’t want it to be true but it is.
Or Barry? You’re probably right though.
UM is 1,000% Mallory.
OSU is Sterling.
Sparty is Cyril.
Nah, Sparty is def Cheryl. Fiesty, loud, likes to burn shit, but every once and a while puts together incredibly competent thoughts before slinking back into a sideshow
I can genuinely say it is incredibly refreshing to not have any expectations for this fall. I look forward to more Saturdays of shutting off the end of the game and saying "ah well that was annoying" and then not thinking about it for the rest of the week. We're free!
I'd like a contest to figure out a buddy for Henri, the Otter of Ennui.
My entry: Sammy, the Sloth of Apathy. Or, given this title, maybe the mascot of apathy should be a Trash Panda.....
April 14th, 2021 at 12:37 AM ^
Or bring back "O RLY" the Owl?
https://2.bp.blogspot.com/_l4ZZFzs7VIs/Rf1lm4r3XhI/AAAAAAAAAEM/Cg0pe23S_G0/s1600-h/O_RLY.jpg
I contribute to MaizenBrew and even I think this is bad comment. People know where they can find different stuff, jimmyjoe.
April 13th, 2021 at 10:31 PM ^
WTF is your actual problem?
April 14th, 2021 at 12:39 AM ^
Xm slappy.
Just ignore them.
UM football does not exist, it is merely the psychic projection of everyone sick and tired of COVID.
I should be thankful for Michigan sucking at football for the last 20 years, it use to run my life and now I do not care. A loss would ruin my week, now some weeks I don't even know what the score of the game was. Honestly for me, my life is better without caring about Michigan football. Obviously I hope 1 day they are good again for those of you that still care, but at this point I don't really ever see myself living and breathing Michigan football.
Also I hope this blog gets back to what it was 10-15 years ago.
And yet, here you are in mid-April after a spring practice period with full-on Fort Schembechler mode engaged making a comment on a nothing article focused on the football team.
And??
It really drives home just how much you no longer care.
Yes it should. Lol this fanbase blows as much as the football program does anymore ????????
April 14th, 2021 at 12:44 AM ^
You mean the 10 to 15 years ago before the 6 years 7 months that you have been commenting?
I agree!
I've been here 6 or 7 months??
I think he meant years. Says you joined 2014 but wish for the blog to go back to what it was 10-15 years ago.
See the problem?
I don't know what the next few months of MGoBlog are going to be.
But I'm sure they're going to be unforgettable.
RPG modules whose plot subtly mirrors the trajectory of U-M football fandom over the last 12 years. Something with Lovecraftian investigation...Delta Green?
Honestly, the 2021 football coverage should have all the usual features--opponent watch, UFR, etc.--but for teams coached by the head coaches we might be interested in hiring for 2022.
Honestly, the 2021 football coverage should have all the usual features--opponent watch, UFR, etc.--but for teams coached by the head coaches we might be interested in hiring for 2022.
Love this idea. I have zero interest in reading preview material just so I know the names and tendencies of the linebackers on a 6-6 squad. If the team exceeds expectations, it can be a fun game of discovery learning about how they did it. Much rather read some in-depth articles on teams like Iowa State to see how they handle the pressure of new expectations and potentially prepare us to see how various coaching candidates are doing on a week-to-week basis
April 13th, 2021 at 10:24 PM ^
Some people would probably find it poor taste to speculate on the next head coach when we just signed our last one to a new contract, but to them I'd say "whatever, man."
oh, screw off.
yes, by all means, let’s talk about michigan football by placing it in context of fucking iowa state.
Maybe you could work with HalfSpaces (USMNT twitter knows who I am referring to) on some USMNT content. He is a UM fan and already producing some pretty good USMNT stuff.
There have been a couple jettisoned writers of USMNT fame as well. I would love to have a branch off of USMNT meets MGoBlog. Letting Brian handle the prose on my two biggest sporting interests would be a dream.
I am far more involved in USMNT twitter than I am posting on MGoBlog these days but my interest in USMNT started in 2010 in earnest and began to climb to its current obsessive status upon following Brian's coverage of the 2014 cycle. Brain obviously has a cursory involvement in USMNT twitter as well. I would LOVE to see Brian take on a role in creating more USMNT content, even if that role is just facilitating a place for great writing on the subject.
Personally I have some optimism about the upcoming season, despite that not being trendy these days.
I'd like to see a breakdown of Cade's limited action last year, because dude just seems to have the "it" factor that Milton and so many others have been lacking for quite a while. And was a highly productive and highly rated prospect. I just don't get the lack of enthusiasm to see what he can do with regular non-injured playing time.
That "it" factor you see was just him mostly playing on the wrong end of blowouts where the staff has no choice but to actually play offense. In competitive situations they gave him the same shit offense they give everyone else and he looked just as mediocre.
Oh man, I didn't even think about USMNT. Please do that. There is a ton of USMNT this summer even when accounting for shitting the bed in Olympic qualifiying again. Please do this.
At least it was a different kind of shit this time (or maybe a different kind of bed?). Rather than, "the talent doesn't exist", it was "the talent is too good to get released for Olympic qualifying." Obviously "the talent didn't exist" in terms of qualifying out of concacaf is probably an oversimplification and this years squad selection left a lot to be desired even in the context of those who would be released but the point still stands that our full national team is essentially all u23 right now due to a lost generation and that full team is more talented than its ever been.
The team trying to qualify for the Olympics is a U-23 youth team--it's not the USMNT. Think of it like AA or AAA baseball.
Not sure if you were responding to my post or the one above mine but either way, both clearly understand that the Olympics are U23. The first post was just referring to the fact that there is a lot of USMNT content to cover this summer in spite of the fact that there won't be an Olympic team to follow (eg. Nations League and Gold Cup followed by WCQ) and my post was referring to the fact that the majority of our full national team is made of of U23 players who have already graduated to the full team and are too good to get released from their club teams for Olympic Qualifying which is not a FIFA event that clubs are required to release players for.
I don't get the USMNT optimism. Friendlies mean jack squat. Club isn't country. This team lost to Canada in the Nations League group stage and still couldn't beat Mexico in the Gold Cup. Yes, it was nearly two years ago but I'm not seeing this great team ready to take the world by storm.
You don't get the optimism? This is undoubtedly the most talented USMNT ever, with key players at Chelsea, Juventus, Borussia Dortmund, Barcelona, Lille, etc. And they're all under 23. We still haven't had a game with all the key members together at once (hopefully we'll see that this summer at Nations League). This is a VERY different team than two years ago.
Beyond that:
"The US ranks sixth in U21 minutes in the top five leagues of Europe. Still possible for the US to make the top five by season's end. The top six for U21s are France, England, Spain, Germany, Italy (9490 min), USA (9318 min excluding Richards for Hoffenheim today)"
https://twitter.com/ChuckMe92Soccer/status/1381582058309484545?s=20
So we have our most talented team ever, and a flood of young players playing at the highest levels behind them. You just have to see Sergino Dest's first goal for the USMNT to realize we're working with a higher level of player than has ever been available to the US. I don't know how someone watches these guys for their club and what they've started to do recently for their country and not feel optimistic about the direction of the program. I'm not saying they're a top 5 team in the next two years, but I bet they are top 10-ish by 2026 when they host.
April 14th, 2021 at 11:13 AM ^
spot on. There is absolutely no question that this is the best talent the US has ever had to work with. Right now the top 20 or so players pick themselves which is exciting on its own. All but 3 or 4 of those players are u23 which means that they are likely to still improve significantly in the coming years and that's without even considering that some of them may even be forced out as younger players develop because it certainly is beginning to look like this level of talent is our new normal and not just a golden generation. Remember when we were all enamored with AN AMERICAN TEENAGER PLAYING ACTUAL IMPORTANT MINUTES FOR BORRUSIA DORTMUND? Pulisic is still probably our best player but there are several others at least on a similar level and the teenager playing at clubs like Dortmund is happening left and right now.
April 13th, 2021 at 10:13 PM ^
I was one who also voted for usmnt on that Twitter post from Brian. I'm a casual fan. I try to watch some big games and I watch as much World Cup as I can when they happen. Sometimes it's hard to get a lay of the land because most content is for people who know what's going on. I know there was Olympic qualifying with the B team. I know talent is getting much better but still young. That's kind of it. Brian's posts have been great because they're generally aimed towards people like me here.
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