Welcome To The Successories Conference

Submitted by Brian on December 13th, 2010 at 1:48 PM


aaargh unnecessary comma

When Twitter blew up at noon I figured something inane involving Jim Delany had just happened—this is my default assumption whenever Twitter blows up and has always been right, even when Michael Jackson died—and good lord, inane doesn't even begin to cover it. You know this by now but to remind you that the people in charge of marketing the Big Ten are either very stupid or think you are very stupid, the Big Ten Divisions are called "Legends" and "Leaders."

So. A group of people responsible for turning the Big Ten Network into a spigot of filthy lucre so gushing it can afford to employ Chris Martin is also responsible for making the Big Ten the Successories Conference. They've created division names that signify nothing about the teams inside of them—the only way I can remember that Michigan is in the "Legends" division is that "Leaders" is part of the friggin' fight song and we're not in that division. Their inane names don't just start with the same letter, they start with the same two letters. They are unusable.

And they've done this with 15 minutes in photoshop:


Note the use of negative space. Also note how stupid it looks.

By comparison, the new Pac-10 logo would look badass on any soccer shirt in the world:


How can the same group of people responsible for creating the BTN be responsible for this? Obviously the visionary bits of the BTN arrangement come from Fox, with Delany and company the lucky nomads who parked their camels in the right bit of desert and now get to call themselves an emirate.


These division names do not exist. I'm not using them. Michigan is in the West. Ohio State is in the East. Wisconsin has to deal. It is immediately obvious which teams are in the West—the ones mostly in the west. Michigan can be Champions of the West, and no one has to think about how leadership is more about character than authority.

Can we make this a blogosphere-wide insurrection? Please? Everyone just use "East" and "West."

Remember when you'd go in your room and imagine that instead of a broken down tricycle you had a flying unicorn that could take you away from mommy and daddy's screaming? Yeah, this will be like that.

BONUS: someone on the twitters said "I'm pretty sure an ordinary @MGoBlog thread could have produced better logo options," which is true. So do it either in the comments or by email and I'll pull up the best five and we can vote on the Unofficial Big Ten Logo; I hope I can work out a deal with the winner so we can offer it to the conference for free, if only to shame them.



December 13th, 2010 at 2:17 PM ^

In 20 years, when the bubble that is college football popularity has collapsed, and this blog is dedicated to lacrosse or soccer or whatever the hell rises up, we can point to today as day 0.  Just awful, and makes me want to not be a fan a little bit. 


December 13th, 2010 at 2:17 PM ^

with Delany and company the lucky nomads who parked their camels in the right bit of desert and now get to call themselves an emirate.

Brilliant writing as always.


December 13th, 2010 at 2:18 PM ^

I will join in your insurgency, Comrade Brian.  Viva la revolucion!

Also, MS Paint'd B10 logo to follow by 2:30 (13 min. away).  I invite the good readers of MGoBlog to judge the merits of my work vs. the "official" logo.


December 13th, 2010 at 2:19 PM ^

Just brutal.  The colors are awful, the font is awful, the conference names are awful.  The Pac-10 logo looks so much better its not even funny.  They really missed the boat on this one.


December 14th, 2010 at 8:37 AM ^

My first impression was they started hiding a "12" in there, but couldn't find a way to put the 2 in and then forgot to take the 1 out.

Now I see the "10" (with the G as the 0), which is pointless, but not terrible.

I have a bigger problem with the division names, which are just awful, awful, awful.


December 13th, 2010 at 2:24 PM ^

If anyone can see an embedded "12", can you please try to explain how to find it?  I need to be studying for a final, but I've commited myself to staring at the fucking screen until I see a "12", so help is appreciated.


December 13th, 2010 at 2:32 PM ^

I was reading through your list and was thinking that a perfect addition to the list would be the Lloyd and Brady division. Lo and behold you had that as the last one. Well done.

I say we do

Lloyd Brady and Tacopants

OMG Shirtless (headlined by UofM) and UNNACCEPTABLE (headlined by TUoOsu)

Heavens and Bolivia (where you go when pos or neg banged)

I can't believe they wouldn't name them after MgoBlog memes.


December 13th, 2010 at 2:30 PM ^

Division names that don't make a mockery of the Big Ten:

Great Lakes Division:  Michigan, MSU, Wisky, Minnesota, Purdue and Northwestern

Midwest Division:  OSU, PSU, Iowa, Nebraska, Illinois, Indiana


Also, lets get the San Diego Chargers powder blue out of the logo.  At least use colors from teams within the conference.

If these were the winners?  How horrible are the losers?