This Week in the Twitterverse

Submitted by BiSB on June 13th, 2013 at 8:44 AM

This Week in the Twitterverse takes a look at the social media happenings of the previous week, or whatever else I feel like talking about. Mostly I make fun of people who are better at things than I am. No purchase necessary, void where prohibited. Consult your doctor if this column lasts more than four hours. If you come across anything you think should be in next week's column, send it to @Bry_Mac

Da’Shaudenfreude denied

The (fourth of like eleven steps toward the) Handpocalypse is nigh, and Michigan fans are joyous. The Victors Valiant are among Da'Shawn Hand's top three, and presumed co-frontrunner Virginia Tech was, shockingly, not. There has been much red wine sipping and golf-clapping. The finest cheese plates have been prepared, and nary a glee club sits silent.

But lo, while this son of Virginia has brought sunshine to our glorious summer, fresh snows have fallen unto the winter of Blacksburg's discontent. And if there is one thing we know about recruiting, it's that fans can't help themselves when this kind of thing happens. They flock like the swallows of Capistrano to the intertubes and share their angst with the wind. So, let's check in on these poor Hokies as they rage against the dying of the light:


Like always, these grown men have no perspective, and are berating an innocent...wait, wut?



Seriously, THIS is the worst thing I found:


Bravo, Hokies. Other than the whole “tweeting at recruits” thing we talk about every week (to summarize: DON’T), this is pretty good behavior. I don't know if this is because you guys actually have some perspective, or because Da'Shawn Hand lives near you and he could consume your soul and shed a double-team at the same time. Either way, I applaud your reasonable and measured response, especially given how big a gut-punch this must have been.

Maybe we've turned a corner on the Internet, and from now on we oh, never mind, here's a bunch of people being racist about a Mexican-American kid singing the national anthem before NBA Finals Game 3.

Didn't we almost have it all, Twitter...

[ed-S: After the break: APR scores released, Michigan rivals hail attendance-based metric, fail at algebra and reading comprehension]

Math: hard

The Annual How-Good-Is-Your-School-at-Being-Good-at-School (or "APR") scores came out this week, and once again, Ohio State trounced Michigan.


The people at Gold Bond would be proud

It wasn't even close. Out of 1000 possible points, Ohio State scored a 984, and Michigan carded a paltry 951. Ohio State, therefore, is 33 points better at school than Michigan. Michigan was DEAD LAST in the Big Ten. 12th out of 12 at doing learning. And whooooo boy, they couldn't wait to tell everyone about it:




There are just two teeny tiny technical caveats on which Michigan fans can hang their dunce caps. The first is that APR is in no way intended to rate academic goodness. Like, at all. It's a measurement of how well schools are keeping their athletes enrolled and academically eligible. Keep your kid in school and keep ‘em from failing, and you're golden. Doesn't matter if your school is universally regarded as being world-class, or if your athletes take classes like Golf or AIDS Awareness or Golf Awareness to stay eligible, or if you just change players’ grades to make them look good. An honor roll nuclear engineer with a minor in world domination is worth exactly as much as a guy scraping out a C- average in the easiest courses. Attrition is a bigger risk than failure, so schools with a lot of turnover will end up with lower scores. But retention and eligibility are good, so whatever.

The second and more salient point is that the numbers these Buckeyes are citing are four-year rolling averages. If you look at the most recent scores, you'll see a slightly different story [warning: Freep link]: Michigan football finished with a very respectable 981. OSU's 970 was third to last in the Big Ten. Michigan's single year basketball APR was 980, while Ohio State's 957 was second to last in the B1G. In other words, Michigan beat OSU this year. But because OSU had a better score in previous years, they won this year, too.

Bad news, Michigan fans. Apparently we live in a world where we judge all things by four-year rolling averages. You may have thought Michigan beat Michigan State last year, but in reality they lost a hard-fought game 24.5 to 15.75. They also barely avoided an embarrassing loss to Iowa, squeaking through with a 28.5 - 27.25 win (I mean seriously, can you imagine losing to THAT team? At HOME?). On the bright side, though, they beat national runner-up Notre Dame 26.75 - 25.5, and the basketball team won two NCAA tournament games. So, all in all, about an average year.

[ED: I can't believe I forgot the ultimate authority on the subject:


In doubly-related news…

Michigan continues to recruit kids who cross at the crosswalk, take all tests with an approved #2 pencil, and refer to everyone over the age of 23 as “sir” or “ma’am.” But as much as kids talk about academics, it’s easy to smirk a little bit when you hear Da’Shawn Hand’s claims about the importance of academics. After all, this guy probably isn’t going professional in something other than sports. There’s a really, really, really good chance that he is going professional in something that is very much sports. But then again:


Those are some pretty damn good grades, but look at those classes. Dude is a junior taking Calc, not to mention Civil Engineering and Chem. It is also worth noting that he got an A in advanced weight training, which, yeah. I feel really bad for the other people in that class if it was graded on any sort of curve. Oh, you just benched 180? Da’Shawn just made an origami frog out of 1/8” sheet metal. It jumps and everything. But good for you.

This does bring me to my one concern about Michigan’s recruiting, and that is the complete lack of character concerns. Brian has touched on it recently, but in case you haven’t noticed, all the kids MIchigan is bringing in are earning rave reviews for their off-the-field character. They all have good grades and gold stars for good behavior. They don’t get in trouble. And while during the season that seems like a blessing, it is also extremely boring. As long as the walls of Fort Schembechler remain high and impenetrable, if no one is going to be getting into trouble, what the hell are we supposed to talk about during the offseason?

Recruiting has been largely completed by early summer these days. We can only speculate about depth charts so many times. The MGoBoard will be inundated with inane chatter and/or obsession about the remaining few elite recruiting targets. Would chatter about a potential academically ineligible player be the worst thing? If a player gets caught peeing on a frat house or something, that would give us at least a week of speculation and conversation. I fear for the big picture, ya know?

Brace Yourself

Roy Manning

The guy that Sam Webb called the “Robin to Greg Mattison’s Batman” when it comes to recruiting, Roy Manning, is settling nicely into his new role. He is also among the only coaches who do this whole “technology” thing. Jeff Hecklinski (@JeffHecklinski), Darrell Funk (@DarrellFunk), and Dan “Why don’t you go by Lou” Ferrigno (@CoachFerrigno) all have Twitter accounts, but none of them are exactly active in the social media scene. Manning, though, seems to be hitting his stride

Not to nitpick, but very few of those M's look regulation. PROTECT THE BRAND, MAN.

At some point, we may need to do an MGoVine competition, because again, long boring drama-free offseasons.

Crootin ain’t easy

The risk of a coach being embarrassed on the recruiting trail has always existed. A recruit can conduct a traditional interview in which he accuses a coach of almost crying like a little baby, and it can gain some traction. But with social media, you get a written record that makes it really hard for coaches to deny their shaming. For example, if you’re a Louisville coach (like, for example, Ron Dugan) making a run at a Kentucky commitment (like, for example, 4-star DE Denzel Ware), this kind of conversation might be made public for all to see:

Denzel Ware

Or if you are a coach at Florida (like, for example, Joker Phillips), and you do one too many stupid things (like, for example, posting one too many ridiculous photoshops), you might be very publicly rebuked:



Okay, so that’s probably not about photoshops. But those things are still awful.



June 13th, 2013 at 8:57 AM ^

From both staff and players.

Gardner had one the other day where Toussaint walked/danced out of his shoes or something. It was weird. But I laughed. 


June 13th, 2013 at 9:07 AM ^

I don't get it with these fan bases that go off the deep end saying awful things to a kid. That news gets around and who knows what impact that might make on future players considering your school. The Andrew Wiggins thing is a perfect example. If you were a star player and weren't quite sure if you wanted to go to UNC, would you put them in your top 5 after what was said to him? I know I would think twice...


June 13th, 2013 at 9:10 AM ^

the VT fanbase must be entirely comprised of Canadians. Pretty impressive that no one wished an ACL tear or a car accident on him. 

/looks at ohio


June 13th, 2013 at 9:15 AM ^

Damn, VT.  That was almost enough to restore my faith in humanity.  But then I drove through traffic to work, so I'm back to being GrumpyCat.  Still, nice to see a class act.

Wolverine 73

June 13th, 2013 at 9:26 AM ^

Very classy fans at VT.  Nice to see that not everyone who posts his disappointment about where a kid chooses to attend school is a loon.  OSU, pretty much what we have learned to expect: distort the facts to make stupid, snarky comments.  Live it up, guys, you will be in M's rear view mirror in another year or two, even with the four year rolling average.


June 13th, 2013 at 9:28 AM ^

That fan base will think their school is one of the best in the country because of Urban and his staff. I do submit a little thing called Google to the great state of Ohio to show that in fact they are not even a top 50 University in these United States.

I swear that school is like North Korea USA. What ever their football gods say is truth and fact.


June 13th, 2013 at 9:38 AM ^

It's good to see Hand get an A in PE/Weight Training. I was starting to doubt his 5* rating once Meyer cooled on him! Seriously though, that's an impressive course load. I posted this article in another thread last week, but it is very appropriate here regarding the APR issue. It's from 1999, but I think is a pretty good illustration of how OSU still keeps their APR up.


June 13th, 2013 at 9:43 AM ^

...from that article:

Katzenmoyer, who was chosen 28th by the New England Patriots in this year's NFL draft and has left school, declined to be interviewed, but former teammate Damon Moore, a strong safety who was also on the verge of ineligibility last year before being propped up by summer classes, says the Big Kat didn't understand why his academic performance became a national joke. "I remember he was really put off by all the attention," says Moore, a fourth-round draft choice of the Philadelphia Eagles. "Not everyone comes to college to be in college. I'm that way, and Kat was pretty open about it, too. He was bothered by some people who asked about the grade change. Everybody gets grade changes. I've had some grades changed. Other people have, too. Now we're both headed to the NFL, which is what we came here to do."


June 13th, 2013 at 9:51 AM ^

...a Michigan fan but is a VT senior and a Hokie through and through, shrugged this off yesterday. I think this did not come as a great surprise to that fanbase. Still, hats off to them.

Ohio's continued attempt to belittle Michigan academics is the stuff of desparation. It will fool some kids and their parents, for sure. But in the end, it's nothing short of pathetic.

Roy Manning was an inspired hire. Because of his time in the NFL and genuine enthusiasm for Michigan, he is the perfect asst coach and recruiter. 


June 13th, 2013 at 9:50 AM ^

has the worst typeface choices i have seen in a while. the kid that uses Kirsten or some crap on his facebook? and then, i don't even know what that OSU thing is called, like FingerPaint Bold or IwasMurdered Narrow or HelterSkelter Ital.

if you are going to talk about what a learned hall of wisdom you are, do it in a classy, well mannered font, not the one that the haunted house uses on their coupons.


June 13th, 2013 at 10:08 AM ^

Based on my experience with VT fans at the Sugar Bowl, I'm not that surprised by their tweets, except that all it takes is one drunken tweeter to make a whole fanbase look ridiculous.


June 13th, 2013 at 7:53 PM ^

The best seats I could afford for the Sugar Bowl put me right next to a group of VT fans. We cheered and they groaned with UM did well, and they cheered and we groaned when VT did well, but they were never rude or obnoxious to us, and when a very mild "scuffle" broke out a few rows in front of us among some VT fans, they all but apologized and asked us not to judge VT by a few drunk idiots. I was ecstatic at the end of that game, but I honestly felt bad for the the VT fans.

Wee-Bey Brice

June 13th, 2013 at 10:23 AM ^

I can't wait until Urban Meyer channels his inner Woody Hayes and throws a right hook at a player that inadvertantly connects with Mike Vrabel's temple. Glorious day.

Eastside Maize

June 13th, 2013 at 10:30 AM ^

Fitz is a North-South back with a little wiggle. If the O line isn't blocking well those stretch plays and zone reads go nowhere without great speed from the rb. Fitz will benefit from our between the tackles running game.

The Geek

June 13th, 2013 at 11:13 AM ^

I really think it's funny how ohio is making such a big deal out of the APR... I was hoping it would die on the vine (it will be remedied in two years or so), but your four-year rolling summary had me laughing out loud.

You may have thought Michigan beat Michigan State last year, but in reality they lost a hard-fought game 24.5 to 15.75.



June 13th, 2013 at 12:32 PM ^

Yes, because a school's academics are really reflected well by looking at the athletes... Granted, NW and Wisco are both doing well.  It's like Ohio State is the kid with the 2.7 GPA who just got an A in shop class and wants to brag about it.  Dude, its APR... no one cares how your athletes are doing in the classroom.

The FannMan

June 13th, 2013 at 12:48 PM ^

Dude isn't just a junior taking Calc - he is a junior taking AP Calc and pulling a B.  That is solid.  

I think he may go professional in something that is sports, and then when that's done, go professional in something that is not sports.


June 13th, 2013 at 1:11 PM ^

I mean....the APR is a rollup of 4 years of yeah Webb, we could say it is lower than usual because of RR. So, there is that...


June 13th, 2013 at 2:58 PM ^

Disappeared? I'm glad I didn't publicly make the same observation. Figured it had to do something with re-reading and editing before moving to FP. Also didn't read last night because I was watching the Stanley Cup Finals and was ready to go to bed.

p.s.  So, are you a mod or aren't you? Also, if you were the one who put up the meta thingee on Festivus, I have a suggestion. I think a ton of people have never bothered to read on the top tab Mgoboard FAQ, FAQ, Ethics, etc. It might be helpful to periodically put those pieces on the front page, or somehow have them more visible. Who knows, maybe there could be an addendum about posters laying off the "excitedness" comments in regard to recruits (or anything else?) Maybe you could do something like giving 25 points if you click on those links (and presumably read them?)

On that last, while points don't matter and aren't talked about, it'd be interesting to know when they will come back.


June 13th, 2013 at 3:48 PM ^

I write stuff on LiveWriter and then publish it, but for some reason it publishes to Diaries. I usually relocate them to unpublished stories within a few seconds, but last night I had a brief internet blip so it remained up for a few minutes.

I'm not a mod, but I still have those powers, and every now and then if JGB and LSA are busy, I'll fix the things I see.

As for the point thing, I have no idea.