The Question:

Brian: How will you sign off when the world ends (Deadspin for the idea)? You get one Michigan thing and one off-topic thing. Go.

The Answers:

Ace: For Michigan, it can only be this...

...because we must be reminded that at its finest, mankind could do the seemingly impossible, like jumping 15 feet in the air, spearing a ball with one hand, and stabbing a foot inside the playing area said ball was specifically intended to exit.

For off-topic, it can only be this...

...because we must also be reminded that mankind was a hilariously failed experiment. We stuck a real, almost certainly woefully underpaid human being into inflatable dinosaur costume with a comically oversized head on rollerblades and expected it to turn out not like that, and for that we probably deserve whatever horrible fate awaits us. Until then, let's laugh uproariously at that tail.

[After the jump: various responses to the apocalypse.]

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Adam Schnepp: I have to go with this Denard video for my Michigan pick, if only because it's 24 minutes that make me smile as if I was, well, Denard. The way he played was imperfect yet beautiful, and I think that sums up humanity nicely.

The Denard video is just the first half of my world-end rope-a-dope; first you feel like you're winning, then you realize that we were doomed to this fate all along. Mankind bested many strains of bacteria, created vaccines against terrible viruses, built incredibly beautiful buildings that scraped the sky, and wrote epic pieces of literature that gave depth to life. In the end, however, when the Corgis return from space to retrieve their sleeper agents (sorry, Adam Jacobi) and bring doom upon us all we shouldn't be that surprised.

It is unclear why the cart took off, but it is very clear why the world is ending. The human race: smart enough to avoid an Ebola outbreak, not smart enough to avoid a runaway golf cart.

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Dave Nasternak: 

The best part about earth:

"Why would you ever leave college?" -Dan Dakich

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Seth: I'm trying not to over-think it, but you've asked a profound question I have given much thought to over the years. Should the end of all things indeed come before Harbaugh has signed even one recruit, and the microbes we populated space with are to one day far in the future gain sentience, return to Earth, discover this page of the internet, scroll past all the stuff above, and understand how football is played, they should discover that mankind was appreciated in his time.

It is of course inevitable that man's absurd subjugation of the feral planet shall be just as spectacularly unaccomplished. As he is cast aside, his coda should demonstrate his sublime intelligence, his resourcefulness, his dexterity, and the acme of his imaginative capacity. We cannot hail the great architectural works without allusion to the mathematical constructions that enabled them, nor should we ring in the awesome brilliance of the destruction of our planet without an equally epic musical accompaniment. Indeed, we cannot, shall not, and will not have one without other.

by @jbrons

So long, cruel world. We weren't really rivals anyway.

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Brian: That's cheating, Seth. Those are both Michigan things.

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Seth: Fine, then this:

Maybe the aliens can make it. Also: EpII because YCH1WOTO.

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Brian: Anyway: the last thing on MGoBlog from me will be a nine thousand word post breaking down who the all-time Draftageddon champion is. It will be me, of course, because of that one time I picked a Minnesota defensive tackle. I'll go out reading people who are mad at the content. Die like you lived, I say. I may even throw in some soccer analysis.

Once that's done there's one choice. Two things, but just one choice:

Keith Jackson at his greatest, Desmond and Woodson running those punts back. I think the foundations of this blog were set in 1997, when I was a freshman at Michigan scouring the internet for any image or video of that team I could preserve, trying to hold on to something that I treasured and didn't know if it would come again.

NON-MICHIGAN THING. Big Lebowksi, obviously.

NON-MICHIGAN, NON-LEBOWSKI THING. I really wish Raptor hadn't been yoinked already. Excellent Literal Draftageddon move, Ace.

Absent Raptor, I resort to British people.

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BiSB:

Everything is as it has been, right up until it no longer is. Then the most fundamental elements of your place in the world are ripped right out of your hands. The things you have taken for granted are no longer there. Every emotion attempts to explode from your soul at the same moment: fear, anger, confusion, embarrassment, regret... all of them. You try desperately to hold onto what you can, to try to restore the world of before, and to recall that which has been lost. It is in vain, of course. But you cannot stop yourself from trying.

What it says on the tin.

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Alex Cook: If the world was truly ending, I don't think be watching CNN. To be perfectly honest, I'd probably transform into the human equivalent of Hedonism Bot as soon as I knew that it was really over for sure.

Anyways, my Michigan video:

My other thing:

Jon Bois is a damn genius.