The offseason. This gif doesn't have LSUFreek's swag but the reference is golden:

I loled. Via Gaknar of the EDSBS commentariat. I'm not sure why the Navy Ram is getting shot, though. That is the Navy Ram, isn't it? UPDATE: It's the UNC Ram, which okay.

No offense, Fred Jackson. The countdown to the Hartening has begun in earnest now that he's out of the NFL and acting as a quality control assistant for Ron English and your Eastern Michigan Eagles:

"I'm definitely moving on to the next chapter of my life," said Hart, now married and a father. "Everyone stops playing. I'm done. I know what I want to do. I know where I want to be in the next 10-15 years. I'm happy now. I'm committed to Eastern, I'm committed to helping them, I'm committed to coach E." …

English offered Hart a job as a quality control coach, essentially a graduate assistant, who would have an opportunity for on-field coaching since English's staff was down a coach.

"Even though he's a quality control coach, technically, legally he's been out coaching with assistant coach Doug Downing with the running backs," said English, in his third year at Eastern. "He's been working with our special teams and coaching all the scout teams. So he's had a great impact."

Hart has to work on his hyperbole before he's ready for the Michigan job, but it's just a matter of time unless Ty Wheatley beats him to it.

Bonus awful. Fear The Hat picked up the ESPN post from last night and added a couple of sites that kind of think the Miami thing is important. More importantly, he screencapped the college football page:

The college football page! Aaaigh!

Someone's lying, and that someone is everyone. Terrelle Pryor is ineligible at Ohio State and has been banned from associating with the program for five years. Why? No one knows. Ohio State claims that it's because Pryor won't talk to the NCAA. What won't he talk to the NCAA about? Certainly not violations he committed.

The NFL doesn't appear to be buying this. That forces different, far more plausible stories to come to the forefront:

"Terrelle was fully forthcoming and subsequently provided the documents that were requested to support the disclosure," Cornwell told ESPN. "The NCAA has a procedure where they can automatically audit bank accounts of student-athletes who are on financial aid. If those bank statements add up to a substantial amount more than what has been provided through financial aid, they ask why. Terrelle provided them with those answers and, as I said, the documents the NCAA requested."

ESPN has obtained documents showing Pryor gave bank records to the NCAA at the meeting in May.

Ohio State is still under NCAA investigation, and Sarniak's payments have not been addressed publicly.

"What we provided for NFL Security (on Aug. 5) was a road map, a timeline and the documentation," Cornwell said. "Terrelle cooperated, and the violations occurred during a period well before the (April) draft. That's the key. Those disclosures and documents would have made Terrelle ineligible for the entire 2011 season, and once he made those disclosures to the NCAA, he withdrew from school."

Yeah, you read that name right: Sarniak. Ted Sarniak, the guy who everyone knew was the Nevin Shapiro of Jeanette, PA, gave money to Pryor after his enrollment at OSU. The NCAA had previously, inexplicably, and frustratingly given what happened to Jamal Crawford declared Sarniak's previous creepy gifts okay as long as he never did it again. Ohio State monitored this so hard that instead of disassociating from him, Jim Tressel ran to him for help.

Ohio State is of course denying this, because the NCAA can't even add when they look at a bank statement. The Dispatch reports there's also an investigation going on with a Marvin Austin-like trip to Miami sponsored by Sarniak. There's probably another NOA on the way, whereupon the NCAA will force the OSU athletic department to give away one tenth of one percent of its annual income to a dog shelter. That'll show 'em.

Navel-gazing. Concentrate Media has profiled yours truly. If you like meta, that's your jam. There is already a full and luscious thread discussing my hair if you'd like to participate. Yes, I did take one million points away from the guy who said I look like the lead singer of Nickelback. No, I'm not sorry*.

BTW, I don't think MGoBlog is the future of sports media. It might be a future, but there are going to be several different models that persist over the next ten years. The article is almost entirely accurate except in one small regard: beveled guilt is no joke.

*[Points will expire in two days. I'm not a monster.]

Etc.: The Blade profiles Kovacs and Koger. Mikoyan and the M-Zone team up for a post on the gravesites of Bo Schembechler, Fielding Yost, and Bob Ufer. Maize Pages says brace for mediocrity.