Unverified Voracity On Time Lapse

Submitted by Brian on October 6th, 2011 at 12:27 PM

Cannibalism is actually an improvement in their level of civilization. Add Eddie George to the long list of current and former Buckeyes bombing the program:

“It appears to me that Bollman is out there, he’s totally exposed,” George said. “It’s his offense to lose, and clearly he has no idea or concept what to do with them at this point.”

Blue Seoul described the MSU-OSU game as "fun to watch if you don't like either of these teams" and that is so true. It's more true for Ohio State, which was blithely running second and long draw plays as Michigan State run blitzed with nine guys in the box. "OY OY OY this worked with Troy Smith OY," Bollman thinks.

Crack journalism. Well done, Free Press, well done:


Michigan does not have a women's hockey program.

Podcasting in two doses. One with Northwestern blog Sippin' on Purple on which I'm hard to hear and a second with the Michigan Man Podcast.

Time lapse. The Notre Dame game in time lapse photography:

The numbers. It's week six. FO's advanced stats maintain some preseason projections in them for another week or two, but they are increasingly based on events on the field and whoah:

Rank Team FBS
FEI Last
1 LSU 4-0 .304 1 .234 12 .097 8 9.6 6.1
2 Alabama 5-0 .303 3 .342 5 .134 19 9.2 5.0
3 Oklahoma 4-0 .298 2 .359 3 .186 40 10.7 7.1
4 Wisconsin 4-0 .247 4 .600 1 .467 95 10.1 6.2
5 Clemson 4-0 .244 5 .162 19 .206 43 9.2 5.9
6 Michigan 5-0 .241 10 .347 4 .341 74 10.3 5.7
7 Stanford 4-0 .227 9 .405 2 .513 103 11.0 7.1
8 Georgia Tech 4-0 .225 15 .340 6 .441 92 9.3 5.5
9 West Virginia 3-1 .215 13 .138 20 .161 28 8.3 5.3
10 Oklahoma State 4-0 .211 6 .227 13 .156 25 9.8 6.3

Moving up four slots after bombing Minnesota probably means the formula does not yet comprehend how terrible the Gophers are—they did hang tight against USC and FEI ignores games against I-AA foes. Also it does not know just how goofy that ND game is.

Still, how are you doing, Stanford? U MAD?

Block MST3K. So this happened at the Hoover Street Rag:


In the not too distant future, Saturday A.D.
There was a guy named Jordan, not too different from you or me
He worked at Schembechler Institute, just another face in a maize jumpsuit
He did a good job cleaning up the place, but his bosses kinda liked him so they made him play in space

(Curse you GERG!)

We'll send him speedy runners, the best we can find
He'll have to stop, tackle them all as we monitor his mind
Now keep in mind he can't control when the games begin or end
He'll try to keep his sanity with the help of his D-Line friends...


Martin! (I'm Captain!)
Heininger! (Left side!)
Van Bergen! (Where've you been?)
Rooooooooooooooooh! (I'm sophomore!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes and other science facts
He's got a meal card and it's set on earth so you can really just relax
For Michigan Defense Theater 3000.

Either you have no idea what that is about or you are no longer reading this post.

Woolfolk comes in. I erroneously left Woolfolk out of the Monday game post talking about the guys who stayed through all this drama, as Rodriguez might say, but in the Michigan blogosphere there is always someone to pick up where you fell short:

And one wonders; why have the Wolverines normally injury prone players been relatively healthy this year while Woolfolk has been injured time and again?  Bad Luck?  Anger an old gypsy woman?  Did the coaches use black magic to keep the guys healthy but the turnover was Woolfolk gets hurt instead?  Did they find some D&D style Rings of Transference to transfer all injuries to Troy as long as everyone was wearing the rings?  Not that I've ever played Dungeons and Dragons or anything.  Like I don't have a level 17 Wizard named Tulmo Falconclaw just sitting around, so don't think that.  I'm just guessing what nerds would say.  FIREBALL!!

It gets even saner from there.

Etc.: Highlights from hockey's season opener. I was not aware that Michigan's first goal was not a lucky bounce but rather a beauty assist from Hyman. Also Hunwick flashes the glove. WAC "instant" replay takes 22 minutes. Cue Special K homer drooling.

Maize Pages belated Minnesota recap. Five hours of Calvin Magee talking about the spread 'n' shred comes three years too late but is still really interesting.



October 6th, 2011 at 5:51 PM ^

MST3k's mixture of adulation, snarking, and clever comebacks was just a bit ahead of its time. At some point, someone could do something similar but not with movies, but with sports related video - like training films, clips from games, press conferences, etc.

Joel, Mike Nelson, the bots (especially Tom Servo and Crow T Robot) are all out there at Rifftrax and Cinema Titanic.


October 6th, 2011 at 12:58 PM ^

michigan definitely has a women's hockey team. it may be club-level, but it definitely exists. i knew a few girls on it in undergrad.

of course lindsay sparks is not on that team...


October 6th, 2011 at 1:33 PM ^

Now that you bring it up, why is it that anyone who said the offense looked bad against wisconsin last year was an idiot who clearly doesnt understand advanced metrics, but its okay this year to say "it does not know just how goofy that ND game is."?

Either the eye test is valid or it isnt, it shouldnt change based on whether it suits your position

El Jeffe

October 6th, 2011 at 1:44 PM ^

Okay, I'll play. First of all, no one said the offense looked great against Wisconsin. Two points were made:

  • Any sane individual would say that the offense sucked in the first half and was great in the second half of the Wisconsin game. Anti-RR haterz just kept saying that the second half didn't matter because Wiscy was phoning it in. Anti-anti-RR haterz responded by saying that just because M gained a lot of yards and scored a lot of points in the second half doesn't mean the yards and points didn't matter and shouldn't count.
  • Anti-RR haterz kept saying: "The offense wasn't all that last year because Wisconsin and Ohio State!!!" Anti-anti-RR haterz responded by pointing out that FEI takes strength of opponent and things related to your sucky defense into consideration. So, considering how good the good teams' defenses were and how sucky our defense was, the offense was pretty damn good. For a counter example, see 2008.

Second, everything that happened in the Wisconsin game on offense happened in the context of what was normal and repeatable for the offense. Virtually everything that happened in the ND game, while glorious, was not normal or repeatable for the offense. How many jump balls has Denard completed since? Exactly.


October 6th, 2011 at 2:01 PM ^

i dont think jj watt playing at half-3/4 speed in the second half of a game is any more repeatable than those jump balls

you just confirmed what i wrote.  anybody that questioned the validity of last years numbers is a hater, but here's a reason why its valid to do so NOW

Blue boy johnson

October 6th, 2011 at 6:37 PM ^

By my count (in my head) there were 5 jump balls against ND.

2 on designed underthrows for TD's: Gallon and Roundtree. These were good football plays IMO

2 to Hemingway. one was a throw into double coverage around midfield, the other was a TD against man coverage. Similar plays as to the throw to Hemingway last year that won the Indiana game.

1 was intercepted in the end zone: Gallon

The 70+ yarder to Hemingway was not a jump ball

The big play to Gallon on the second to last play was not a jump ball

The TD to Vincent Smith on a screen was not a jump ball

The nice pass to Grady for a big gain was not a jump ball


October 6th, 2011 at 1:45 PM ^

I didnt have a problem with the offense last year, in that Wisco  game,  this year, or in that ND  game. So, I dont understand your question, I guess

The offense didnt count in either games anyway, since it all happened once MIchigan was losing by a lot

The problem with the program was the defense. Arguments to the contrary arent smart. Its the reason we had to and did make the change.......and the improvements on that side of the ball is why we finally have a balanced---or at least the makings of one---FEI rankings. Unlike last year which was awesome on one side and rather indescribably shitty on the other side.

You cant be all or nothing like that in this game if you want to do anything other than what we did a year ago


October 6th, 2011 at 1:48 PM ^

The eye test has some validity. So does advanced metrics. But both of those aren't as valid early in the season as they are late in the season. When you know how good the opponents are in reality as opposed to preseason predictions, both become more accurate. That being said, we had a great offense last year with a 1st year starting qb who made a lot of mistakes and without a reliable tailback.

Mr. Yost

October 6th, 2011 at 1:24 PM ^

My favorite part was Roy Roundtree running to the student section to get everyone hype...and Denard racing by him, like "what are you doing!? we're going up in there!!!"

Then to see Darryl Stonum carrying Roundtree and the pure joy on his face...no sulking or bickering or jealousy...I've never spoken a word to Stonum in my life, but I know that he couldn't have been happier at that point in time.


October 6th, 2011 at 9:41 PM ^

Thank you for mentioning that and making me go back to check it out.  That was totally worth seeing both Denard going "No, this way man!" and then you're absolutely right, Stonum's face can only be described as pure joy.

Tha Quiet Storm

October 6th, 2011 at 3:05 PM ^

Lloyd Brady is in the time lapse video (2:44, right behind the banner). I think he is a time traveler from the future who knows all the right spots to go to for maximum camera-time. Either that or his dad has incriminating photos of someone in the UM administration, thereby resulting in front row seats to all major sporting events.