crazy grandpa

Unverified Voracity Throws Some First Down Markers, As Per Tradition Comment Count

Brian November 20th, 2018 at 3:02 PM

Sponsor note. Let's say you've got some nice first down markers. Got a big X on them. Some orange bits, a pole. You know: the real nice stuff. And let's just say an absurd person gets so angry about something completely unrelated to your markers that he tears them up! You know, hypothetically.

Well, what then? Well, do you have any contracts that might stipulate monetary penalties for this gentleman? No? Do you regret that? Yes? Maybe you should have called Richard Hoeg.


Yes, even though Richard Hoeg was an infant(ish) during this hypothetical event, he may have craftily crafted a legal framework that would allow you to recoup your first down marker costs. Or anything else related to your small business of standing on the sideline with a down marker and something about police horses.

Call today! Or maybe next week, we're all hyperventilating quite hard right now.

A lunatic. Woody Hayes at the end of the Game in 1971:

At the link above MVictors has handily gif'd crucial portions of Hayes's meltdown that you can send to loved ones during moments of crisis. Need to remind your brother-in-law that he may be a grown-ass man but he's got the emotional stability of a toddler who missed his nap? There you go.

Ohio State's current coach has a slightly different approach:

There needs to be an equivalent of the Vince McMahon gif that's just smash cuts to increasingly distressed versions of Meyer culminating in that.

A smooth operator. Bill Bonds fulminates about the overweening importance of The Game, and you know what? He's right.

[After THE JUMP: Don Brown! Luke Yaklich! THE BROTHERS KARA-NAH-SOV]

The man, the mustache. Ivan Maisel on Don Brown:

Harbaugh professed his awe for Brown's ability to correct a flaw in his defense from the sideline.

"He's really gifted at seeing things on the field," Harbaugh said. "Some coaches got to see it from the press box. Some got to wait until they see the film. He stands out to me as being really good, maybe the best I've ever been around that way."

Take last week against Rutgers. The Scarlet Knights' Isiah Pacheco, running out of a three-back set, went 80 yards for a touchdown. Wolverines defensive end Chase Winovich and free safety Tyree Kinnel both bit on a fake reverse, and Pacheco ran inside of them and right up the field. Brown moved his ends wider and put middle linebacker Devin Bush Jr. man-to-man on the tailback.

"They ran it two times for no gain," Bush said, "and they stopped running it."

"I mean, I can't think of any times where he gets hit with the same call twice," Harbaugh said. "Maybe once since he's been here."

Is that ability unusual? "Yeah, that is," Harbaugh said. "It's a gift."

That's a deeply-reported piece worth your time.

At the end of time. Lawrence Marshall winding it up:

This time last year, Lawrence Marshall didn’t know whether or not he’d be back for a fifth year.

At that point — a redshirt junior — Marshall had played in 10 career games, with just nine tackles to show for it. Defensive line coach Greg Mattison approached Marshall after last season and expressed a desire to have him return. Still, Marshall was understandably reticent. He could have easily departed as a grad transfer and found a more regular role elsewhere; it would’ve been hard to blame him.

Then Mattison told Marshall a story that helped bring clarity to the situation. Mattison left Michigan for Notre Dame in 1996, a year before the Wolverines won the national title.

“‘Lawrence, you don’t want to feel that way,’ ” Marshall recalls Mattison saying, “ ‘leaving and Michigan winning a national championship and you left at the wrong time.’

“I was like, ‘I don’t want to be that person.’ ”

Winding it up in a different way. Josh Uche spooling up the jump drive:

The physical talent and pass-rushing ability have always been there. Which begs the question: why did Uche spend his first two seasons at Michigan on the sideline?

“Since being at Michigan," Uche explains, "it’s kind of been a struggle."

As a freshman, Uche tore his meniscus and caught a "bad virus." He played in four games that season. The next year, he suffered a stress fracture in his foot and missed fall camp before seeing limited time in 10 games.

Uche understood why he wasn’t getting many snaps; Michigan’s staff simply didn’t know what he could do. Yet he felt that when he did play, he flashed enough to warrant more snaps.

“It was a battle that was happening with myself,” Uche said. “ ‘I deserve more, but I know why.’ ”

QBs graded. PFF has Patterson third in the Big Ten and there's a big gap back to #4:

NFL beckoning. Kiper's latest rankings feature a lot of Michigan players:

Bredeson that far up the G list is a bit of a surprise. He's playing well but he hasn't really leapt off the field as an obvious NFL player. FWIW, nine cornerbacks were off the board by the end of the second round last year. If the NFL draft advisory board agrees with Kiper at year's end I'd guess both Hill and Long are out the door.

Patterson is not listed in his top ten QBs, FWIW, and Gentry didn't make his TE list. I'd call this "preliminary": OSU fans seem to hate Michael Jordan as their C but he still checks in second.

Many offenses require many vengeances. ESPN's #1 up and coming NFL player at the midpoint of the season? Yuuup:

1. Maurice Hurst, DL, Oakland Raiders

Age: 23 | Snaps through Week 10: 354 | Drafted: Round 5 (2018)

…at this point he's the only thing Raiders fans have any rational reason to be optimistic about. Hurst fits another one of the classic undervalued draft archetypes: the smaller defensive tackle who creates havoc inside yet falls because NFL scouts don't take him seriously because of his size. The patron saint of that category is Aaron Donald, who didn't go in the top 10 despite being the best player in the 2014 draft. We think the Raiders would be very happy if Hurst followed in the more reasonable footsteps of Geno Atkins or Grady Jarrett.

Bad draft day takes about his fall had to be coming from people who didn't watch the tape.

Basketball defense graphed. Got dang:

The "bad" performance in there was against George Washington, which scored 20 of its 61 points after Michigan had taken a 71-39 lead. Seven of those last nine minutes were heavy on freshmen and walk-ons.

Quinn captures some of what makes Michigan so difficult to cope with on that end:

Outside the locker room after Saturday’s win, Livers tried to explain what’s so unique about this team. In reality, he is one of the unique parts. Despite not practicing at the five position in the preseason, he now regularly finds himself there when Beilein shifts to a small-ball lineup. It’s proven wildly effective and is now a mainstay. Beilein tells Livers to think of himself as Draymond Green with the Warriors. This is, in many ways, Michigan’s ideal proxy. Going small spreads out opposing defenses on one end and creates a situation in which its own defense, perhaps the best in college basketball, can switch on every ball screen. “Yes,” Livers said, “Coach B has really taken a liking to it.”

At any given time, though, when starting center Jon Teske checks into the game, Livers shifts to either the three or the four position and Michigan presents an entirely different look. Against Providence, when the Friars feasted on a few offensive rebounds, Beilein fielded a lineup measuring 6-1 (Zavier Simpson), 6-7 (Brazdeikis), 6-6 (Matthews), 6-7 (Livers) and 7-1 (Teske). Moments later, Beilein was back to the small lineup. Afterward, Providence coach Ed Cooley mentioned that Michigan is able to “camouflage” its lineups.

“That’s a fun way to play,” Cooley said.

They can yo-yo between small ball lineups and giant ones, depending on what the opposing offense is trying to do.

Etc.: Both new MSU trustees want to fire John Engler. Lawsuit against three MSU basketball players accused of rape moves forward. The Stanford Orange Bowl mic'd up thing still exists. Speech restrictions are a sign that you may be in an employer-employee relationship. I don't recommend reading this Bill C article on flaws OSU can exploit.



November 20th, 2018 at 3:53 PM ^

He was 65 when he punched the Clemson player.  That's the same age as John Beilein is right now.

I don't think the punch was out of character for him.  I suspect he was the kind of person who could keep things together in ordinary, non-stressful situations, but under stress he would just lose it.


November 20th, 2018 at 7:06 PM ^

I forget where I read it, but according to the author of the piece - Woody had undiagnosed Type 2 Diabetes when he punched the Clemson player. Blood sugar went low during the game and he lost his ability to act rationally.

Or...he's a complete ass hat and the cooler pooper author was just making excuses for Woody. I'm inclined to believe the complete ass hat scenario.

Edit: I was looking up the article. According to one posting on the interwebs Bo also supported the diabetes thing. I'm type 2 and have gotten hypoglycemic on occasion, but I have never lost my mind during those episodes. 


November 20th, 2018 at 6:04 PM ^

At half time of the 1969 game, Bo's first against OSU, the team of the decade, the score was 24 to 12 Michigan. Back then the banners from each Big Ten school were raised around the stadium. After the half, the crowd lowered the OSU flag to half staff; and, the entire stadium began the "Good Bye Woody song except it went; "Good Bye Woody! F you Woody! Good Bye Woody! We hate to see you go!" You could hear it over the television broadcast!

And it went on and on. After a bit it stopped, but another good play by M, and it started up again and louder. For the rest of the game! The whole second half! 

Great game! Great day! Bo's best!

Bando Calrissian

November 20th, 2018 at 3:15 PM ^

From anecdotal evidence gleaned from a few MMB alums I've talked to about the 1971 game, who personally witnessed Woody absolutely lose his mind in a blind rage in the tunnel before kickoff, it seems to me Woody was so keyed up that he had no idea what he was doing that afternoon. Bo is on record saying that Woody was diabetic, and when he didn't take his meds and monitor it and got stressed out, it exacerbated his already extreme personality and caused him to lose control of himself.

To be fair, Bo also chalked it up to Woody trying a bit of gamesmanship for 1972 when he knew the game was already lost, but the bigger picture seems to point to something a bit sadder. It's why more than a few people weren't surprised after the 1979 Gator Bowl. That was Woody at his absolute worst. But he couldn't always help it.

That being said, watching Woody rip up down markers and run around the field like an idiot never gets old.

CRISPed in the DIAG

November 20th, 2018 at 4:02 PM ^

The '79 Gator Bowl and '71 spaz-out weren't entirely different - one just featured an assault on an opposing player. OSU (and most other football factories) could tolerate these antics as long as the coach delivered wins. The final nail was losing to Michigan three (3) consecutive years ('76-'78). To quote Barry Switzer in the Woody Hayes ESPN SportsCentury: "If Woody had been beating Michigan, you bet yer ass he'd coach a few more years. Bet. Yer. Ass."


November 20th, 2018 at 4:42 PM ^

That's not how mental illness works.  Batshit crazy people can appear sane the vast majority of the time.   They go in and out of phase depending on the time or day, month, year or what drugs are working for them at the time.   Woody Hayes obviously had mental problems and he was given a long rope because he was an all time great football coach.  


November 20th, 2018 at 6:16 PM ^

Is that really paranoia? Seems more like extreme partisanship to me. Like folks who'll not patronize some mega-billion company because their CEO supports the wrong party or cause. They don't have an irrational fear that someone/something means to do them harm, they just have an extreme reaction to something they oppose.


November 20th, 2018 at 5:43 PM ^

A Woody story;

Woody came to speak in Plymouth years ago now. 2 prominent Plymouth businessman went to Woody's hotel room to pick him up for the ride to the event. Just as Woody was opening the door, one of the businessman offered the other a lifesaver he had just pulled from his pocket. The second businessman declined the offered lifesaver, and said, "I'll pass." 

The first then offered a lifesaver to Woody, who quick as a whip responded, "I'll run." 


November 20th, 2018 at 3:17 PM ^

Can you imagine the insanely controversial figure Woody Hayes would be today, in what was described as a 24/7 news cycle even before Twitter came out?  There'd be so damn much pearl-clutching about the latest antic, meltdown, screamfest, or whatever it was he decided to do on any particular day.  Some of it would even be justified (i.e. punching opposing players is as much a no-no today as it was 40 years ago) but that would just make it go even more nuclear.


November 20th, 2018 at 3:50 PM ^

Not entirely. I doubt the difference in completion % is significantly different, and the TD/INT ratio is almost the exact same - the reason Haskins has more of TDs and INTs is because OSU can't run the ball like they used to and Haskins has to throw 60+ times a game. With that said, I believe that more goes into the final grade than just the listed stats. 


November 20th, 2018 at 8:54 PM ^

I'm an avowed enemy of Ohio State, but 36/7 is abjectly better performance than 18/4.  


Since M is considered palpably better as a team, this is a defense vs defense discussion, in which M's D is light years better then OSU.


Getting us to even-ish on offense is a testament to Shea and Harbaugh, and the rest of the offense.


November 20th, 2018 at 3:27 PM ^

That's only PFF's grades for Big Ten QBs in week 12 games. I think Patterson has actually passed Haskins as top QB in the conference on the year in PFF's numbers, based on this graphic:

Patterson Hasksins Comp.jpg

Edit: So nice, I did it twice


November 20th, 2018 at 3:35 PM ^

I know it was just Rutgers but man, Ambry pwning that route and getting an interception really makes me feel much more confident about next year's corners if we do have to replace all three.