Jay Paterno and saying things: a terrible combination. On this day we remember the Salem Witch Trials on twitter.

Despite years passing-many recent events remind us that in many ways human nature is little changed from the time of the Salem Witch Trials

— Jay Paterno (@JayPaterno) September 22, 2015

This is the reason the reaction gif was invented. There is no combination of words that can adequately express the feeling reading this tweet produced in me. The Germans probably have a word for a paralyzing combination of horror and laughter induced by a stunningly wrong decision or statement.

/scans German dictionary

Huh. "Klinsmann."

So this tweet filled me with klinsmann.

BONUS: hoo boy if you like terrible things, the tweet thread is your jam.

I am filled with klinsmann by this tweet as well. The Colts are in play!

Is there a dollar figure for which Jim Harbaugh would leave Michigan for the Colts after one year, and would Jim Irsay offer it?

— ProFootballTalk (@ProFootballTalk) September 22, 2015

This offseason is going to be awesome as every NFL reporter insists Jim Harbaugh is a candidate for every open job in the league. Harbaugh for the Colts. Harbaugh for the Lions. Harbaugh for league president. Harbaugh for assistant Ravens janitor.

Harbaugh might leave someday, but only after he's done something that allows him to do so saying he's done his job. And after his experience with San Francisco's little Napoleon my bet is he picks the place where he's the most important crazy person around.

Just Dayton and Michigan. Kyle Flood might coach most of college basketball.

@zachauguste @jetpeezy @ajturner11 @spidadmitchell @epaschall4 @bouncye_24 One more for y'all. Tag ya friends

A video posted by Aubrey Dawkins (@siraubreydawkins) on Sep 21, 2015 at 4:09pm PDT

The Harbump. Via Brendan Quinn:

According to the most up-to-date numbers provided to MLive by Dunn, Michigan's overall season ticket sales have risen from 79,014 in 2014 to 89,614 in 2015, a difference of 10,600 seats.

A big chunk of that comes from 7k extra students, which is pretty amazing. That section is 60% larger than it was a year ago. I wonder what it would have looked like without the drastic changes wrought by the Glorious Revolution. Hint: bad.

There was a chunk of complaining about student attendance against UNLV, but to me it looked pretty full after kickoff. Students tend to cram down; you didn't see the empty pockets in other sections solely because other folks spread out when given the room to do so.

A problem that 'Bama wants to address. It's no surprise that Alabama fans are peeved about ineligible men downfield in the aftermath of the Ole Miss game. I share that peevishness. Despite the fact that illegal men downfield is a "point of emphasis" this year, the biggest game of the early season sees a flagrant example of it go uncalled.

You get three yards in college but just one in the NFL, and you'll never guess the one weird trick RBR would like to impose on college football:

Personally, I think this rule change should be revisited. College offenses already have more latitude than their NFL counterparts on passes thrown behind the line of scrimmage - in college, linemen may drift as far as they like on the snap in these situations, while in the NFL they must stay within their one-yard window until the pass is released - so the only real effect of the rule change would be to require the pass to be delivered in the backfield. This makes sense, as the linebackers are given a fighting chance to rally to the football after it is caught and prevent a big gain. Assuming that such a rule change is a non-starter, and that better enforcement is the goal, the best solution would be to somehow incorporate instant replay.

I would like to see what the game looks like with an effectively implemented three-yard rule first. But since that seems impossible it might be better to do away with the rule altogether and just call offensive pass interference on any lineman who hits or impedes anyone other than a defensive lineman on a pass play beyond the line of scrimmage. That might be more enforceable—and the penalty would be much stiffer.

(A side note: do not title your post that is intended to be serious "A Modest Proposal.")

He was tranquilized shortly thereafter. Nik Stauskas wandered onto a local news set.

#kissipfgoodbye takes on the weather @NStauskas11 pic.twitter.com/Ua7J6ftTz6

— Jennifer Mota (@motajen) September 22, 2015

A Canadian one, I'm guessing.

Ibi Watson video. He can dunk.

Rutgers. I hate it when stupid things happen during the season because I can't write one act plays about them. The Kyle Flood thing is magnificently stupid. I'd rather look at football, but barely. If this happened in the offseason… well it probably still would have gotten drowned out by all the Harbaugh stuff, but I would have gotten around to it quicker.

Anyway. EDSBS surveys the wreckage and pulls out the nine dumbest things about the grade pressure scandal:

1. Kyle Flood Wants You To Know He's Breaking The Rules On Purpose

When Kyle Flood first reached out to this unnamed professor, he did so from his personal email account. It was entirely possible that he did so on accident, perhaps sending the email from his phone without realizing which account it was coming from. Of course, it was also possible he did so to purposefully avoid New Jersey's Open Public Records Act.

Great news! Now we don't have to wonder which one it was. This is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen committed to a permanent electronic record. It's like leaving a knife in your carry on bag at the airport with a note that says "LOL I KNOW THIS ISN'T COOL BUT WHATEVER."

That is not even the worst one.

On the bright side, Flood is much better at hiding his inner Tim Beckman than Tim Beckman. You would never know Flood is barely capable of dressing himself based on his press conferences.

Are Rutgers blogs considering who their new coach should be yet?

Oh, well done. On The Banks is the most competent thing about Rutgers athletics by some distance.

This is blunt. Utah basketball coach Larry Krystkowiak gave some sort of lecture recently; in it he broke the omerta surrounding basketball recruiting:

"Did you know," Larry Krystkowiak asked in his Montana drawl, leaning over his lectern, "that there's a lot of cheating in college basketball?"

His earnest delivery prompted some chuckles among the audience of roughly 40 people. But Utah's men's basketball coach wasn't going to leave it hanging without telling a story. He asked two compliance officials if he could venture on.

The tale: He was once recruiting a top-level player, and the player (or his representatives) called Krystkowiak in the middle of the night. They told Krystkowiak the recruit's transcript would cost the Utes $50,000, and "it'll probably cost you $50,000 more to sign him."

Follow the recruits and you'll find the money. Again, all Michigan fans should be in favor of the NCAA paying players outright. Michigan has piles of money. They do not use it in this way.

BYU's walking wounded. BYU NT Travis Tuiloma is a big deal for the Cougars, and he went down in the same game Taysom Hill did. At the time he was expected to be out 4-6 weeks, but Bronco Mendenhall is making noises like he may be available this weekend:

Nose tackle Travis Tuiloma (knee) is also questionable for the Michigan game, a development that didn't seem likely when doctors said he'd be out 4-6 weeks after the Nebraska game.

"This will be a great week [for Tuiloma to come back] because we will see power [runs] about 5,000 times," Mendenhall said, having previously noted that the Wolverines under new coach Jim Harbaugh look like Stanford when Harbaugh was there.

That would be literally and metaphorically huge for BYU. Tuiloma is going to be in the NFL next year and they run a 3-4; he's the centerpiece of their D.

Etc.: Bo's steakhouse was a thing. Ian Bunting profiled. Falk on Harbaugh. We'll have an excerpt of his new book during the bye week, BTW. Jon Baxter with the fire tweet. Harbaugh wants to meet the pope. Leonard Fournette is living Bowser. Film Focus. Guards doing better.