Unverified Voracity Says "Wow," Desires Hot Dogs Comment Count

Brian April 20th, 2009 at 3:15 PM

Weapon of choice. Ace Anbender assembled a highlight video of Tate Forcier's spring game exploits:

Needs more Christopher Walken; otherwise excellent work. Most impressive to me was Forcier's little sling to Moundros in the flat. He's got a guy in his face and needs to put the ball on the money for Moundros to get anything out of it; he puts it right where it needs to be and Moundros can rumble for eight or so yards. That sort of short-range precision will help the offense immensely; too many times last year simple short passes turned into disaster. See: backwards lateral against Notre Dame, etc etc etc.

(Headline reference for the sadly deprived.)

The evidence lies in piles all around us. One has merely to pick it up and provide a cursory examination. I'm calling fair use on this because it is awesome and unbelievable. Ohio State's scrimmaging and the offense has just driven for a score that brings them within one. And then($):

Then, on the final series of the scrimmage, Pryor was whistled for an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty while jawing with defensive lineman Cameron Heyward with the offense poised to tie the game pending a point-after attempt. The penalty knocked the kick back to the 25-yard line, and Aaron Pettrey’s attempt sailed wide right to hand the defense a 56-55 victory.

So far in the brief, eventful career of Terrelle Pryor he's gotten in postgame near-riots after two high school basketball games, pioneered the drama-queen recruiting extension game, trash-talked Illinois fans, cried on the bench after blowing the Penn State game, and now he's taking unsportsmanlike conduct penalties for jawing at his own teammates in a scrimmage. Wheee!

Someone should start a Terrelle Pryor AK-47/Lint Roller Rampage Threat Level. You know, just in case.

DUDE: And you know Pryor has emotional problems!
WALTER: You mean, other than being a Buckeye?
DUDE: He's fragile, man! He's very fragile!

Lax bloggin'. It appears that Michigan swimming blog MGoSwim is no more; the registrations lapsed and domain tasters have replaced it with an ad-laced landing page featuring hotttt chicks…


…but there is another niche sport blog out there named in the classic "take MGoBlue and change it slightly" style: M Flow Blue, a blog dedicated to the very successful club lacrosse team. They're just getting ramped up; if you're interested in throwing little balls at high speeds I suggest you check them out.

Who is Jack Kennedy? One of the more mysterious mysteries of the spring game was the guy wearing 18 and playing quarterback. Despite being in a live-fire cannon fodder jersey, Jack Kennedy looked significantly better than nominal scholarship quarterback (and possessor of mad flow) David Cone. Surely this man must have a background? Eh… not so much.

Kennedy is apparently a 6 foot, 170 lb. freshman walk-on from Walled Lake Central H.S.. Kennedy is not listed on the spring roster on the team's website nor was a bio included in the Spring Football Media Guide.

Is it bad that our walk-on with no past is bigger than our anointed savior? Eh… maybe.

Etc.: Splice Today tackles the blog/elders divide, with some nice words for yours truly and Yost Built.



April 20th, 2009 at 3:32 PM ^

I do not know Terrelle Pryor personally (and neither, likely, do you), but I do live in Ohio and hear a bunch about him from OSU-following friends and co-workers. From this I gather that he is not at all a bad guy and that he's actually pretty thoughtful and works really hard...Let's remember that he's only 19 or so.

Okay, blast away with your angry responses in ALL CAPS, oh sheriffs of the internets!

Tha Quiet Storm

April 20th, 2009 at 4:05 PM ^

by the second play - the bubble screen. Tate's throw was absolutely perfect (no air under it, a little bit ahead of Odoms). So many times last year, that play got screwed up because the ball was thrown behind/too high/short-hopped. If he can just hit that throw consistently, our offense will click better.


April 20th, 2009 at 4:35 PM ^

I have to keep telling my self that because I got admittedly too excited watching Tate hitting those passes. Is it September yet? because I am ready to wash off the stink of 3-9, and that kid looks like he has the talent to do it. Again, trying not to get overly pumped on a few highlights from a scrimmage, but I think it's safe to say we may have player at QB this year. That's gotta be worth a few extra wins (say Toledo and Northwestern) right there.

Sgt. Wolverine

April 20th, 2009 at 4:43 PM ^

I just started photographing Chelsea's fairly new lacrosse team (went varsity in 08). I had no experience with lacrosse prior to a couple weeks ago, but now it's one of my favorite sports (even though I still don't know the rules very well).


April 20th, 2009 at 4:55 PM ^

The scrimmage got rough . . . TP got chirpy . . . and the penalty was horrid. But word amongst the team is that Tress told the kicker to push the kick out so that Terrelle could learn a lesson. If you look at the most recent interviews of Pryor you could tell he's done alot of growing up, but I admit confidence is one thing that he does not lack in the least.


April 20th, 2009 at 5:48 PM ^

Okay, so here I go being defensive. I'm getting used to this. First off I think you meant "purposely." Second, it's far from certain that Tressel even did this. And third, I didn't say I was okay with it, I don't think that getting an unsportsmanlike is beneficial in any way possible. But given the fact that the scrimmage was just for jersey rights, I'm willing to get past it without knocking on a 19 year old's character.

Now here is the inconvenient truth. I would much rather see this type of fire in scrimmage rather than the bland, non-competitive, and emotionless style of practice that I've become accustomed to seeing. Especially in the years of Boeckman and the two Brian's. Our offensive leaders had negative charisma; I was bored to watch them and defenses always had a motivational advantage. Alot can be gained from having a fiery type of leader. Forcier seems to be developing into that type, at least with his facebook posts, and he's a true freshman. Cam Heyward loves to chirp, and so does Terrelle. Pryor got called for the unsportsmanlike and here we are. End of the world? No...A cause for concern? Possibly. Uncorrectable? Far from it. But it is refreshing to see people caring about getting better rather than not working for improvement because they're positions are guaranteed.


April 21st, 2009 at 2:37 PM ^

Agree. I'm certainly not a Pryor fan, but getting called for an unsportsmanlike penalty in a spring game is (a) freaking hilarious but also (b) a non-issue. It is hilarious because a paid referee honestly felt it made sense to throw a flag on two teammates arguing at a spring game. It is a non-issue, though, for the reasons you stated - it was a show of passion from a position recently dominated by statues, and I doubt it shows a lack of maturity on the part of Pryor. I still think the kid is a brat, but he'll still be a solid player in the Big 10 this year, and maybe this little kerfuffle will mellow him out a bit.


April 21st, 2009 at 3:58 AM ^

During the cooking of hot dogs (or other cured meats), nitrites combine with amines to form carcinogenic N-nitroso compounds. Therefore, in the interest of public safety, shouldn't Voracity desire something less delicious?


April 21st, 2009 at 4:51 AM ^

cover the grill with aluminum and poke holes in it. the activation energy of the carcinogen compounds is quite high and are only really created when the oil and fat drips into a live flame. then it coats the meat in the form of smoke particles. so by directing the smoke through small openings you greatly reduce the amount of toxins digested.

of course you could eat steady small amounts of the toxins your whole life and not develop cancer until you're 75 or 80.


April 21st, 2009 at 12:14 PM ^

I hope this Gibbons kid is the real deal, otherwise UM fans will need to brace themselves for some Charlie Brown/Lucy moments on PATs and FGs.



April 21st, 2009 at 5:41 PM ^

Before you read the hot dog column, take my advice and perform this little maneuver first, and your experience will be enhanced so much you'd think you just replaced Nick Sheridan with any guy named Drew (as the quarterback of your brain's reading team).

Go to the page. http://www.texas-wiener.com/walken%20on%20hotdogs.htm

Click anywhere in the text. Hit Ctrl-A. Now hit Ctrl-C

Open any word processor. It could be Word. It could be Notepad. It could be OpenOffice.org's Writer, which you just installed on your Ubuntu-run computer after reading about it on some website with your Firefox browser, and are currently still learning to use while swimming in the piles of cash that you didn't give to Bill Gates.

Either one will do...

Now hit Ctrl-V. Then Ctrl H.

Search for every "." That's period. Replace it with nothing.

Search for every "," (comma). Replace it with nothing.

Search for every "?" Do the same.

Now, read the piece in Christopher Walken voice.

Isn't that awesome?

Tell your friends.

Then, go back over this post and read it in Morgan Freeman's voice, and you will feel just fine.