Unverified Voracity Rants Unhingedly

Submitted by Brian on January 13th, 2014 at 2:42 PM


Let's smother this meme in its crib, okay? In the aftermath of Nussmeier's hire you can't throw a rock without hitting an article that broaches the possibility of a QB controversy next year. [Picture at right: Adam Glanzman.]

Gentlemen. Let me first say that you are upstanding writers of things on the internet and I respect you all greatly. That dispensed with:

















Right. I have high hopes that Morris and his cannon arm will develop nicely, but a senior Gardner coming off a season that's statistically quite promising despite having absolutely zero help from his running game is not getting replaced. Period. Guy was literally playing on a broken foot for most of the OSU game and still put up 41. He smoked Notre Dame. He had a lot of wobbly moments midseason, but when you're getting sacked 21 times in a month that will happen.

I'm sure there will be some rumbles about competition; I will believe each and every one of them just as much as I believed Saban to Texas.

200 pounds of twisted blue steel. Via MVictors, here is an OMG shirtless Bo in 1976 post heart-surgery:


1981 Rose Bowl. Here's all of it. Dick Enberg, not Keith Jackson, unfortunately:

Goodbye, Jeremy. A Gallon tribute:

Goodbye, NCAA. Underclassmen are leaving college for the pro ranks in increasing numbers, with last years record high of 73 already broken. This draft may feature as many as 100 underclassmen. This is partially due to CBA changes in the NFL that have prevented rookies from getting big first contracts, which changes the equation as to whether they should stay or go:

The new system doesn’t remove huge contracts.  It delays them.  To get a huge contract, a player must have at least three years in the NFL.  And so it now makes sense to get to the NFL ASAFP, and to put in the time necessary to get the second contract.

The increasing money all around the kids probably isn't helping, either.

While this hasn't affected Michigan or—sigh—Ohio State much (Roby was gone either way), Notre Dame has taken a couple of unexpected hits, first RB/KR George Atkinson then TE Troy Niklas.  Atkinson's departure is firmly on the "nuts" side of the scale since he's unlikely to get drafted at all; Niklas is projected as a second-rounder. ND has also lost WR Davaris Daniels to academics for the upcoming semester, but he should be back for fall as long as he crosses his Ts and dots his Is instead of having someone else do it.

A familiar name. Notre Dame is still looking for an offensive coordinator, and it might be someone you've heard of.

A source told Blue & Gold Illustrated that former Michigan offensive coordinator Al Borges, current Buffalo head coach Jeff Quinn and Quinn’s former assistant Don Patterson are on the short list.

Yuuuuup. Unfortunately, twitter is no longer showing the cavalcade of Michigan fans responding to Steve Lorenz's tweet on this topic, otherwise I would count up the AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-variant responses and compare them to the LOL-type responses.

Meanwhile in "really?" Bobby Petrino has swiped Georgia defensive coordinator Todd Grantham for a reported five-year guaranteed contract of one million dollars per year. Louisville is throwing money at their problem like you would not believe, but unlike Doug Nussmeier, Grantham's track record is pretty iffy. Georgia yards per play of late:

  • 2013: 5.4, 54th.
  • 2012: 5.2, 34th.
  • 2011: 4.5, 7th.
  • 2010: 5.2, 39th.
    Georgia was in that 30-40 range just before Grantham showed up, so this is a guy with the best coordinator contract in all the land and he's had one legit defense in the past four years.

I wonder what the real numbers are. The GoDaddy bowl reported attendance of 107% of capacity. This may be slightly optimistic.


On the whole, bowl attendance declined marginally this offseason, but with the rampant number-fudging going on attendance could be collapsed and the official numbers would just be bolder and bolder lies.

Sounds familiar. The Seattle Seahawks have a pass defense that is almost unprecedented in the recent history of the NFL. How do they do it?

Quietly, the Seahawks have achieved a 13-3 record and home-field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs by exploiting a loophole: NFL referees are reluctant to throw endless flags for pass interference and defensive holding, even if defenses deserve them.

"They look at it and say, 'We may get called for one but not 10,'" said Mike Pereira, a former NFL vice president of officiating who is now a Fox analyst.

League insiders say this divisional-round matchup between the Seahawks and Saints, the NFC's top passing offense, may be Seattle's rule-bending masterpiece.

"They just seem to not care about the rules," said New York Giants wide receiver Louis Murphy, whose team was routed 23-0 by Seattle this season.

This is also Michigan State's strategy, not that Michigan could protect Devin Gardner long enough for anyone watching that particular game long enough to find out. The Seahawks are masters of the art, trading off less than one pass interference penalty a game (they picked up 13 on the year) for play after play where routes are disrupted and balls fall incomplete.

Since the NFL is the NFL, I'd expect them to come down with some sort of point of emphasis ruling, but college doesn't respond nearly as quickly and the penalties are far less punitive, so the jam-and-grab style with big corners projects to be effective into the future. Jabrill Peppers fits that mold, and once you put a bunch of weight on Channing Stribling he does as well.

Small changes. The NCAA is exploring allowing athletes to do stuff other than athlete, so the Boise State running back whose name I can forget can make hats and rappists can rap, etc.

Etc.: Urban loses Mike Vrabel to BOB's new Texans regime, which is a surprise. Vrabel's supposed to be Urban's ace recruiter; I'm not waiting for OSU's recruiting to fall off a cliff.

I know we no longer have Borges, Hoover Street Rag, but I say you should cram your existing OC-O-Meter philosophy onto whatever OC we currently have. Illinois was ranked, but they just lost to Northwestern so they will no longer be ranked. Probably ever. Meanwhile, Tre Demps is the Big Ten's Marshall Henderson.

Michigan's program is worth as much as an NFL team despite vastly lower revenues. I do not wonder why this is.


Derek Gorgonstar

January 14th, 2014 at 9:11 PM ^

I don't have a pickle up my ass about Carr's record, I have a pickle up my ass about his ability.

Michigan's latent talent base should give you 8 wins a year, minimum. He was a good recruiter, so he always had talent.

But please, spare me about his record. His record includes a blowout home loss to Iowa where the Hawkeyes ran the same screen play over and over, a blowout home loss to Oregon, a blowout home loss to Syracuse which made repeating as national champions impossible, a shitty record against that pickllicker in the sweater vest, a shitty run offense that averaged LESS THAN 4 YARDS A GODDAMN CARRY IN PROSTYLE OFFENSE WITH NFL LINEMEN, and a coaching style that kept every opponent that was within striking range of Michigan's talent in the game.

So yeah.......I've got a pickle up my ass about that.

The Geek

January 13th, 2014 at 4:37 PM ^

but I was watching the NFL playoffs over the weekend, and it was Dan Dierdorf's last broadcast. This (and today's UV with a "cut" Bo) reminded me of one of my favorite Bo stories:

"You are fat and you are mine."


January 13th, 2014 at 4:47 PM ^

The gallon tribute. If I could nitpick I would have put the go ahead TD against South Carolina in the bowl game. That was a great catch and pass by Gardner. I even think he said in an interview that he didn't even see the ball till the last minute. Shame we didn't win that game.


January 13th, 2014 at 4:56 PM ^

My gut tells me that Gardner, with good coaching a mediocre running game and a line that can block, has the potential to have the greatest season ever from a UofM quarterback. 

Almost 3000 yds passing with no running game and a horrible line is pretty darn good.  From what I've seen he is accurate when allowed to be so and has more than enough arm strength to make all the throws plus the athleticism that makes other fans swear at their TV sets.  

Instead of talking about Morris we should really be talking DG for Heisman.


January 13th, 2014 at 8:13 PM ^

I don't care if DG wins a Heisman, and I would actually imagine he doesn't either.  But despite the issues we had offensively, he showed that he can be an elite QB.  Add in the fact that we have an OC now with a better track record at developing QBs and I don't think it's a stretch to say he could make some noise for the Heisman.  



January 13th, 2014 at 8:57 PM ^

a school record, and he did it behind the worst interior line in my memory. His favorite 5' 8" target beat Edwards, who was catching passes thrown by not one, but two future NFL QB's.

It just seems like there should be a word or two for that. I'm going out on a limb and predicting what they will be - Team 135 is taking the field, led by their Senior Leader, Co-Captain and Quarterback, Devin Gardner.

Shane has several important jobs - learning the offense, doing the things he needs to do in order to take over and lead Team 136, being prepared to take the field at any time with a moments notice,  letting Gardner know there is a dog on his heels, and showing Speight how it is done at Michigan. 

Derek Gorgonstar

January 13th, 2014 at 6:12 PM ^

I mean please, let's calm down on Morris. 

Kid will be good, may be good now, but football is a complimentary game, and no quarterback could have beat sparty with -48 rushing yards. They had -23 rushing yards vs Nebraska, and he still almost won despite being hobbled.

Remember when we couldn't wait to get rid of that bum Tom Brady, because Henson was the hotshot recruit? 

We could have depth next year, let's just let the 6th year senior lead, and enjoy the ride.


January 13th, 2014 at 6:26 PM ^

mind if they compete, do you, before giving the position away?

Btw, anyone remember that Keystone Kops interception at the end of the ND game?  How does one make those decisions as a QB?  Damn Borges.  LMAO


January 13th, 2014 at 6:53 PM ^

No one is saying DG never made some bonehead decisions as the QB.  He also made some outstanding plays.  The nice thing about the season is that his mistakes became fewer and farther between as the season went on.  DG only threw three picks during Big Ten play.  His turnover stats looked horrible all year, but that's because he had 8 picks through 4 games.  

He was put in a tough spot because everyone knew we couldn't run the ball or pass protect.  No QB is going to flourish in that situation.


January 13th, 2014 at 7:19 PM ^

Everyone else's fault that he can't read a D, can't go thru progressions, slow to hand the ball off, doesn't step up in the pocket, had games w/ back to back to back pick 6s, etc.  If he wins the position fair and square (should be no contest right???), I'll fully support him as UM's QB, but let's not just give it to him.


btw, you're lucky the NW D couldn't hold onto the ball because they dropped 4-5 opportunities.


January 13th, 2014 at 7:28 PM ^

First of all, no one is suggesting we give it to him without a competition.

I know he had INTs dropped, but every QB does (esp in college), and there were also a few spectacular INTs made, or picks off of tipped balls that really aren't on him.  Fact is, his poor decision rate dropped as the season went on, which shows progress.  This was still his first full season as the starter, so he still had things to work on.  He improved a lot of them as the season progressed and he now has a full season of film of himself to pick apart (with Nuss's help).  


January 13th, 2014 at 7:58 PM ^

What was with that "btw" comment in your previous post?  Are you bummed that Devin didn't thrown a few INTs in that game so you could point to that as more supposed evidence in your favor?  Maybe you didn't watch but Morris had about three passes that should have been picked off outside of the one that actually was.


January 13th, 2014 at 8:49 PM ^

Shane has yet to find the enzone as a college QB, but has thrown 2 picks.  4.3% of his passes have been picked as opposed to 3.2% of Devin's.  Devin makes mistakes but will also make outstanding plays with both his arm or his feet.  Shane makes mistakes at at least as high of a rate, but has yet to show he can make the great plays as well.  

I'm not saying I don't think he'll get there, but he needs a lot more work than Devin does.  


January 13th, 2014 at 9:19 PM ^

#s based upon the fact that Morris didn't get many snaps during the season.  He had a single int in the bowl, but hadn't seen the field since 1st game against CMU game.   Morris certainly wasn't ready at any point this season.  You can blame whatever you want on our play, but it started as early as that ND int, but certainly the the Akron game (3 ints + 1 fumble).  In the pros, turning the ball over 3-4 times gives the other team 94% chance of winning (don't know what it is in college).  Don't get me wrong - I think DG is a great athlete, just haven't seen him progress as a QB and given his mistakes don't know if he's got the mental makeup of a QB.  I saw enough of Morris in the bowl to know that he can hang in a pocket, go thru his reads and throw a good ball.  At this point, I want UM to win.  If he's the best man for the job great, but I certainly don't want to annoint the leader of a 7-6 team as the de facto QB.


January 14th, 2014 at 9:20 AM ^

If I have this right, you assume that Shane will be a lot better next year, yet ignore the progress that Devin made in season? Like LA said, Devin had only 3 picks in BIG play. This is the same BIG play that the team ended with negative rushing yards in multiple games and less than a hundred yards in even more.  I don't know how you can look at the OSU game and not think that Devin has improved over the year, despite being hobbled and playing with very little run support.

Shane will get his chance, and it might even be this year, but the smart money is not on him. As others have pointed out, Henson was mediocre as a sophmore and was amazing his junior year. Navarre wasn't ready until his redshirt junior year.  Henne had a great freshmen year, but hit a small slump his sophmore year. 

If your point is that Shane will have a chance to compete, that is fine, but there is no logical argument for him to start.

Magnum P.I.

January 13th, 2014 at 8:08 PM ^

Man, I would love to watch an "every-snap" compilation of Darqueze Dennard just to see how many times he's in violation of defensive holding and pass interference rules. 


January 13th, 2014 at 8:42 PM ^

I'm of the opinion that our QB controversy is 2 to 3 years away. DG has the job next year which I'm good with. He was 14td to 3int in B10 play. I'm not forgetting that he threw 7 potential picks against Northwestern but hey those are the stats and I'm sticking to them.  If the line can keep him upright and protect him so he can actually make it to his second reciever in the progression he'll be fine.

steve sharik

January 13th, 2014 at 9:43 PM ^

Highly unlikely.

I firmly believe it will be an open competition and the player who performs better in spring and fall camp will be the starting QB.  Devin won't win the job simply b/c he's older or more experienced, and Shane won't win the job simply b/c he has a stronger arm, was a 5-star, etc.

To look at the evidence from this year (practice and games) and conclude that Shane is a better QB is asinine and borders on the sublime.  To win the job, Shane will have to make leaps and bounds and Devin will have to not improve at all, or even regress.  Anyone who says, based on what they've watched, that Shane is a better QB doesn't know football.  Period. 

Is it possible that Shane will be the starter coming out of fall camp? Sure.  What's the probability? 10%, tops (generous).

From the Mathlete:

"Devin’s EV+ for the season was +7.0, 12th in the country (Petty +12.3, Winston +10.9 and Manziel +10.4). His total win percent added was +440%, 3rd in the country (Carr +510%, Manziel +450%). His points versus team replacement was 103 points which was also third (Gilbert SMU +168, Schroeder Hawaii +127). Devin Gardner has his rough moments but there aren’t more than a handful of players this season I would trade his output for, let alone his perseverance."  http://mgoblog.com/diaries/weekly-six-game

He also was 29th in passer efficiency and led the 40th rated F/+ and 42nd rated FEI offense. While those are seemingly pedestrian numbers, keep in mind that:

  1. It was his first full season as a starter.
  2. He had no running game (except himself).
  3. He had a very poor OL.
  4. He played hurt for over half the season.
  5. There are 104 QBs listed in the NCAA passer efficiency list and 125 teams in the Football Outsiders indeces.

Most importantly, this kid was literally the entire offense.  Gallon and Funchess are playmakers, but how did they fare with Morris instead of Gardner? 


January 14th, 2014 at 2:14 AM ^

Its ironic to see pics of Bo running shirtless, looking like he was in great shape..while underneath his heart was becomming a mess... and then seeing some of Michigan's current staff... fat as hell and needing desperately to lose 30 lbs (which I hope they do, cough Brady..cough)... and not having heart issues, yet. 

Lose 30 lbs please Brady.


January 14th, 2014 at 10:04 AM ^

that Michigan win big against more teams and allow Shane and others to get some more playing time.  Many guys got some time on defense, not so much on offense.


January 14th, 2014 at 11:32 AM ^

Ditto. Even at his most mindnumbing interception-laden moments, Devin was clearly the catalyst for this team doing ANYTHING. Talk of his demise is very premature and, simply, wrong.

It's like the poor line play and the lack of any dynamism in the backfield was some kind of outlier as opposed the primary reasons for the O's whack inconsistency. Allah be praised if Devin is healthy next year.


January 14th, 2014 at 11:36 AM ^

you cannot teach to a QB is speed.  Devin can improve on pocket presence, checking off recievers and reading defenses.  Plus, some of the problem thats been discussed ad nauseum is the poor Oline performance.  I believe he will be much improved in 2014 and I believe so much so that he will get some Heisman consideration.  Shane has a slightly different talent package with the big arm but is much more mobile than previously thought, he is in the perfect position to not have pressure to win but only to provide backup and improve on his play when Mich has a big lead.  A QB controversy...nah...doesnt make any sense at all when you have a proven guy that in spite of injuries, absent game plan, no 2nd half adjustments, no running attack, poor Oline play and he still wins games!!


Hey not to change the subject but how about the incredibly whacky world of college OCs?  The M OC might go to ND, the former USC OC/HC goes to Bama, the Bama OC goes to M, the Texas OC goes to USC then bolts to Bama, the Duke OC goes to the gators....and its not over yet!