Unverified Voracity Ranks Most Buckeye

Submitted by Brian on July 11th, 2013 at 1:16 PM

The most Buckeye. What is the most Ohio State thing? Is it chasing off a touted linebacker recruit with your tilty-head child porn whatnots?

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That's pretty Buckeye. Is it getting caught pleasuring yourself in the library by Carl Monday? Is it punching an opposing player because you're mad?

I think the kid who named his tumor "Michigan" is the most Ohio State thing.

Grant Reed is only 12, but the young Ohio State fan has scored a major victory over “Michigan.”

It’s what he named his brain tumor.

According to a report by NBC affiliate WCMH, Reed was recently released from Nationwide Children’s hospital in Columbus, Ohio, after completing chemotherapy in a two-year fight with the brain tumor. Doctors give him a good prognosis.

Congratulations, kid. You are both alive and the most Buckeye, at least until a guy wearing an Andy Katzenmoyer jersey poops on Desmond Howard live on Gameday, then punches out Herbstreit for being a "fake Buckeye."

MOST BUCKEYE RANKINGS

  1. Naming brain tumor "Michigan"
  2. "Everybody kills"
  3. Committing insurance fraud with the vehicle some booster provided you
  4. Tilty-head child-porn selfie fetish that chases away Alex Anzalone
  5. Library jackin'
  6. Dymonte Thomas is totally gonna flip you guys

McGary smash. GRIII and Mitch McGary are at the LeBron Skills academy with about a zillion other dudes both in college and high school, and it sounds like McGary is following up his breakout tournament with consistent, varied production. Sam Webb($):

Mitch McGary – “The Monster” looks like a million bucks – figuratively and literally.  The sophomore power forward checked in at a toned 6-10.5, 266-lbs. with an 83.5-inch wingspan.  His activity level stayed consistently high at times he seemed to catch his opponents off guard with better than expected lateral agility bounce.  …  While his overall activity level on both ends continued to stand out, his 11-point barrage over a couple of minutes was the true highlight.  The run started off with a pick& roll clinic.  On three occasions McGary lost Wilson after setting a solid screen and diving to the basket for a bucket.  When Wilson finally decided to stay with him, McGary stuck a three.  A couple of possessions later he caught the ball on the right elbow, pivoted to face the rim, then calmly stuck a jumper over Wilson’s outstretched arm.

I be like dang.

BONUS IS MITCH MCGARY STILL MITCH MCGARY CHECK

The only bad mark on McGary’s report card came when he attempted a heat check three toward the end of the game. The big fella dribbled into a jumper a full step beyond the three-point line.  It was an air-ball, but after everything else he did in the game, you’ll give him that one.

Yup. Ride the lion, buddy.

For his part, GRIII wasn't standing out like McGary. Low usage from the guy in a camp setting is no surprise since he's so deferential; hopefully in a more regimented team setting he can step up.

The least committed. Rivals article on ever-accelerating pace of non-binding verbal commitments "raises issues," but is mostly notable for the best redefinition of commitment ever. Shea Patterson is a 2016 dual threat QB who just moved to Louisiana, and he is in some sort of relationship with Arizona:

"Right now I am committed to Arizona, and if I don't hear anything from any other school for the next three years I will be happy to go to Arizona, but since we moved things have been different," he said.

Shea Patterson's commitment status is "it's complicated." Tulane, get that letter in the mail and he's yours.

FWIW, decommitments are not actually a problem worth solving. Delaying Signing Day until after coach firing season prevents a lot of guys from being locked into LOIs they don't want to honor, and gives everyone time to find the best place for them to be. Moving up those timelines does nothing but create worse matches between players and programs.

If you do want to help this non-problem be less of an issue to raise, two things: allow earlier official visits, so that more kids can get the lay of the land earlier, and create a non-binding pre-LOI that prevents other coaches from contacting anyone who signs up for it but can be withdrawn at any time by the player.

The dynamic pricing thing. A long time coming and I don't really have an issue with it since it allows Michigan to recoup some money that was otherwise being left on the table without increasing season ticket or student prices. I mean:

“They (the consumers) are going to pay more anyways,” Lawrence said. “It’s just a question of who’s making the money? Is it the school or is it the broker?”

As far as ways to increase revenue go, this one is much better than annoying me with max volume exhortations to rent Michigan Stadium for a wedding. Also, it increases the feasibility of interesting nonconference home and homes because the more attractive the opponent the more ticket revenue acquired.

This, on the other hand…

On Monday, Purdue University announced that it too would use dynamic pricing for football season.

…will result in Purdue tickets being exchanged for pogs.

Etc.: Devin Funchess is on the Mackey watch list. Also on the Mackey watch list: you. I only talk about coaches who coach for Michigan but Rich Rodriguez in a nutshell: "Well, I hear a lot of times people say 'Oh, we gotta have a guy that's a game manager,' and I don't know what that is."

NCAA promises not to send its goons after a current player who joins the O'Bannon lawsuit, because its goons all left to work at Auburn anyway. Both of these teams should be named "Northwestern." Michigan picks up a 2015 forward commit, seems like a second or third liner. Excellent take on the O'Bannon case. Hanging with Trey Burke at the draft. Say bye to Nebraska.

Comments

swan flu

July 11th, 2013 at 1:32 PM ^

WARNING! Exceedingly insensitive and morally reprehensible comment below,

Considering childhood tumors generally reappear later in life, I think it's tragically safe to assume that Michigan is going to beat that kid in the long run.

WolvinLA2

July 11th, 2013 at 3:50 PM ^

I was fine with the joke because jokes are not meant to be serious.

That said, I think the story is awesome. I love stories about people embracing The Rivalry and I super love stories about kids beating cancer. And the kid got to meet Urban Meyer because of it, which will be an awesome memory for a kid that desperately needs awesome memories.

WolvinLA2

July 11th, 2013 at 4:27 PM ^

So whether or not something if offensive depends on whether or not it's funny? Just because something isn't funny doesn't make it offensive, and vice versa. Maybe I'm just not easily offended, but I think you can be sympathetic toward something without getting offended when someone makes a joke about it.

ijohnb

July 11th, 2013 at 4:35 PM ^

can be offensive and funny.  Often times these things are so because they reflect  a self-aware ignorance on the part of the joke teller.  Other things are so inherently offensive that they cannot be funny.  Suggesting that a kid who is recovering from a brain tumor is going to die anyway cannot be funny, regardless of who is saying it and/or how.

WolvinLA2

July 11th, 2013 at 4:51 PM ^

I agree with all of that (and I agree that it wasn't funny). My view on it is that just because his attempt at humor wasn't humorous, that doesn't make it offensive. But obviously the definition of offensive is pretty fluid depending on who's reading it.

gbdub

July 11th, 2013 at 2:37 PM ^

Because I'm a terrible person, this reminds me of the South Park episode where Stan has to coach a peewee hockey team to inspire a kid dying of cancer. Spoiler: peewee team ends up playing Detroit Red Wings, gets painfully demolished, cancer kid says "no hope..." Then dies. End of episode.

So what does it mean for the poor kid if Michigan beats OSU this year?

Congrats to the kid for giving one beating to "Michigan" I don't mind. Definitely 100% Buckeye though.

Daniel

July 11th, 2013 at 1:49 PM ^

will be making appearances for the duration of next season. I'm so glad he's been able to put all the pieces together: that's a combination of his potential, the coaches' skill and attention, and his work ethic.

Farnn

July 11th, 2013 at 1:47 PM ^

So if this kid loses his fight with cancer will the Free Press write an article about how terrible Michigan is for killing children?

Ali G Bomaye

July 11th, 2013 at 1:48 PM ^

While I get the logic behind it, comparing a childhood cancer survivor to child-porn-guy, library-jackin', various crimes, and a hypothetical scatfight is treading on some pretty morally delicate ground.  I would have been equally proud of the kid had he been a Michigan fan and named his tumor "Ohio" before beating it.

CWoodson

July 11th, 2013 at 2:11 PM ^

"We can't really show you, but that's Mike Cooper pleasuring himself while watching porn at the Berea library, just across the room from the children's section.  Take our word for it - and his."

"And you just reached down and grabbed yourself and started having sex?"

[Pause] "I, I did what I, I wasn't thinking, I made a mistake."

Ali G Bomaye

July 11th, 2013 at 1:51 PM ^

Maybe we could get GRII to talk to GRIII.  Daddy averaged a combined 30.3 field goal attempts and free throw attempts per game during his last year at Purdue.

MazingBlue

July 11th, 2013 at 1:56 PM ^

What is wrong with you guys? It is a child who beat brain cancer. This should make everyone as a Michigan fan happy that this kid put a rivalry to good use. It was a way for this kid to fight cancer and put forth the effort to beat his tumor. Instead you compare him to child porn, and for one of you to say Michigan will eventually come back and beat him is really a "great" way to represent yourself as a Michigan fan.

 

Monocle Smile

July 11th, 2013 at 2:05 PM ^

A kid was not compared to child porn.

The idea of naming a tumor "Michigan" was compared to notable Buckeye activities. If you can't see the distinction, that's all on you.

If you wanted to call out the guy who was pessimistic about cancer in a somewhat tasteless way, then you should have replied to his comment. Instead, you've lumped in the entire MGoBlogerati with him as if we laughed our asses off at it.

Son of Lloyd Brady

July 11th, 2013 at 2:23 PM ^

The transitive property does not apply here. Just b/c a kid naming his tumor Michigan = Buckeye thing to do and child porn creepy dude causing touted player to decommit = Buckeye thing to do does not mean kid kicking cancer's ass = child porn dude.

acnumber1

July 11th, 2013 at 3:36 PM ^

My reaction was the same as Mazing Blue.  This goes on the list with the moment of silence for Bo in the horseshoe the day after his passing.  Jessie Ownes is on that list as well.

UofM Die Hard …

July 11th, 2013 at 1:56 PM ^

My wife: "Kevin they are about to talk about MIchigan on ESPN, its next on the ticker"

Me: "Oh what...nice" run over to the tv

Me: Here first 10 seconds of story and change channel

My wife: "Why did you turn it off"

Me: "Because I dont want to hate a kid who just beat cancer"

imafreak1

July 11th, 2013 at 2:03 PM ^

For a 12 year old that sort of maniacal hate of a sports rival is totally appropriate. Just as I alternated burning and freezing my Pete Rose baseball card when he became a Phillie (and ruined a pan in the process which I got in big trouble for) or put my Terry Bradshaw football card in the snow in the backyard if he threw too many INTs.

For children these bright lines in sports between us and them and good and evil are normal and fun. It's when you grow up and still hold onto to those prejudices that things get creepy and stupid.

Ali G Bomaye

July 11th, 2013 at 3:17 PM ^

Kevin Love was an athletically limited player who had supernatural court vision, positioning, and shooting ability for a guy his size.  At UCLA, Love averaged 2.1 3-point attempts and 1.9 assists per game.

McGary has good athleticism combined with hyperactive energy levels.  Also a great combination, but it lends itself to a completely different style of play.  McGary averaged 0.6 assists per game and didn't try a 3 all year.  He's more like Kenneth Faried or something.

Now, if McGary is indeed working on his shot, he could be deadly.  The tournament run showed that he has great basketball sense, and it's arguable that his ball-handling and assist rate were de-emphasized last year because we had the POY at point guard.  But he's not nearly to Kevin Love levels yet.

Space Coyote

July 11th, 2013 at 3:21 PM ^

Keneth Faried isn't even white...

Kidding aside, if he incorporates what appears to be an improved shot, he can play a game very similar to Love. Love is a damn good rebounder for not being an excellent jumper because of size and body position. McGary displayed some of that this year. If McGary can also start hitting an occassional 3 and that elbow jumper, passing lanes will open up for him, as will the roll if defenders start to leak out to check the jumper. This means collapsing defenders and more assists.

It's obviously not a perfect example, and he isn't even close to Kevin Love level (who was on track to be an NBA MVP for a while), but he could be Love-esk as a player, white person comparison aside.

DualThreat

July 11th, 2013 at 2:21 PM ^

Cardale Jones' tweet of...

"Why should we have to go to class if we came here to play FOOTBALL, we ain’t come to play SCHOOL classes are POINTLESS"

... has always stood out to me as the most Buckeye thing over the past few years.

NeilGoBlue

July 11th, 2013 at 2:22 PM ^

I was at an event with Hoke and had a conversation with him regarding recruiting.. one comment he made to me which I thought was very interesting..

'NCAA will never allow earlier official visits because the Southern schools will stop it.  The southern schools want the official visits to be during the winter."

He believes it's a big recrutiing advantage to for southern schools to have their players have to go North in Nov, Dec, Jan for officials. And, have the northern kids go south during the winter for officials.

The more I thought about it, the more I agreed with him. AND I had never thought about that before.