Unverified Voracity Pulls Out The Durr Sharks

Submitted by Brian on October 19th, 2010 at 4:43 PM

Too busy to read the message board? Watch it. So this happened. It is a NSFW postmodern message board conversation verbalized by xtranormal:

Listen to the British woman.

Lord of the flies. An injury update from Penn State has more bad news for the Nittany Lions:

"Latimore, I'd be doubtful if we get anything out of Eric the rest of the year, although he may be ready for a game or two. Crawford has not done anything yet. ... I doubt if he'd be ready this week. Crawford might be ready next week."

That would be Eric Latimore and Jack Crawford, the nominal starting defensive ends. Latimore will be out for Michigan, with Crawford either on the bench or gamely giving it a go. Sean Stanley's status is still up in the air after it was revealed his violation of team rules was a marijuana arrest. He's practicing with the team and I'd be shocked if a simple possession charge would keep Stanley out four games. He's already missed two. Unless there's something else going on he'll probably start in Latimore's place, with either Crawford or unimpressive journeyman Kevion Latham on the other side of the line.

If Michigan held Iowa's DEs in check, the rag-tag PSU DEs shouldn't be a problem. Michigan will have a test against Still and Ogbu on the interior.

Penn State has a bunch of walking wounded they hope to get back for Minnesota; we'll see how many do.

And now a random dumb thing a Penn State blogger said. Take it away, Some Guy At BSD:

I hope that Denard Robinson gets healthy during Michigan's bye week and starts at QB in Happy Valley Halloween weekend. Choir boy / line-dancer Tate Forcier may provide more visual fodder for the blog, but I think he's a bigger threat at QB than Robinson. Denard Robinson can run all over weak competition, but in the Big Ten, where every defense is designed to stop the run, a competent passer like Tate Forcier is actually more deadly.

This is not factually wrong so it's not Fiutakin' it, but good God. This is the worst bit about turning it over seven times in two weeks while racking up 900 yards of total offense against the #28 and #13 defenses in the country:

shark_derp_durr_hurr

"It doesn't work in the Big Ten" cannot die soon enough.

This is a disturbing indictment of nothing in particular. Will Campbell is going to get a look at guard:

“He may be better-suited to play guard,” Rodriguez said.

No decision had been made, but Rodriguez said he’d convene with his coaches tonight to discuss possible position changes.  …

“He’s not playing much on defense,” Rodriguez said. “I don’t know if it’s possibly to switch and learn a position that quickly, but we’ll probably talk about him tomorrow. He’s got a good attitude. He’s working hard and is willing to do whatever’s best for the team.”

What does it mean? It means that ESPN was right to be skeptical of Campbell, who has a ridiculous physical package but doesn't play football very well. It was apparent to me the first time he got on the field against Iowa and immediately got gashed; freshman or not the passivity and inability to get under anyone's pads was alarming. This would be no big deal if Michigan had gotten either or both of Pearlie Graves and DeQuinta Jones a couple years ago, but since they whiffed on both the depth chart at DT is thin enough that one guy not working out leaves you a big hole after Martin.

It does not mean that Bruce Tall is an idiot who can't coach—Mike Martin and Ryan Van Bergen say STFU, please. Also Brandon Graham.

Not their fault, except for that one guy. The BCS computers come in for another round of bashing, this one in the New York Times. At least this time there are quotes from the guys who run the things complaining about the What About The Children decision to remove margin of victory from the metrics. That is a major source of computer rankings DERP. And this is a delightfully blunt assessment of Richard Billingsley:

“I’m not a mathematician,” Billingsley said. “I’m not even a highly educated man, to tell you the truth. I don’t even have a degree. I have a high school education. I never had calculus. I don’t even remember much about algebra. I think everyone questions everything I do. Why is he doing that? Does he know what he’s doing, a crazy kook in Oklahoma?”

The short answer is no. Billingsley’s ranking system is vilified by professional mathematicians and a subculture of amateur computer rankers.

I'm not either but I've already got my vilification in. Any attention Billingsley's inane system gets that might get it booted is welcome. I mean: "It is a simple formula, he said, because he is a simple man." This guy isn't fit to decide what to eat for breakfast, let alone who should be playing in the national title game.

Just a love machine. The MZone highlights a program from 1978 featuring the sex machine that is Mike Gittleson:

78 staff

You have to admire that dedication to facial hair: 32 years without even thinking about a change. Also, yes, that Jack Harbaugh.

Hail Zoltan! Zoltan just launched the punt of the year, nay the punt of the decade:

During the Patriots OT struggle with the Ravens last Sunday, punter Zoltan Mesko may have made the punt of the year. Facing a 4th and 6 from their own 16, Mekso was called in try to bail out the Patriots.

Typically, punts from that region of the field net about 39 yards, putting the Ravens at their own 45, and it looked like the Ravens were going to win the field position battle. From there, it only takes one or two first downs to move into striking distance for a game winning FG attempt. When Mesko trotted onto the field, the Patriots' win probability (WP) was 0.33.

Mesko’s punt went for 65 yards, aided by wind and by poor fielding by the Ravens returner. When the ball came to rest on the Baltimore 19 yard line, the Patriots had gained the upper hand with a 0.54 WP. The punt was worth +0.21 Win Probability Added (WPA), an impact extremely rare for a punt that neither results in a long return nor a fumble.

Hagerup did something similar—though it wasn't in such a high-leverage situation—when he bombed one past the Iowa returner midway through Saturday's game.

Really? Iowa guy who looks at a lot of film says this:

A couple of times Iowa made good audibles and a couple of others they missed their chance to hit Michigan where it hurt. It definitely seemed the crowd noise was a factor late in this one and it made it hard to change calls at the line. I would guess they'll make some tweaks to their audible calls this week, especially on their scripted series calls.

That would be something close to unprecedented. Woo luxury boxes?

Etc.: Entertaining WSJ piece on alumni cheerleaders focuses on Michigan's homecoming festivities. Hey let's fire Turner Gill already! (Note: it took all of two months for Gill to go from a molder of men to a "Victorian-era" fuddy duddy what with his rules against ladies and cell phones. Rich Rodriguez should start a support group.) Twelve pictures to sum up TRY FIGHT WIN. One of these five men will be Minnesota's next coach. (HT: Eleven Warriors.)

Comments

simonsays

October 19th, 2010 at 5:12 PM ^

I noticed the 4th quarter noise seemed like it was bouncing around in the stadium, making it even louder. Perhaps due to 10+% of the crowd heading out when it was 28-7? It reminded me a bit of 04 MSU.

I propose Michigan Stadium at 80% full would be 50% louder than at 100% full.

Kal

October 19th, 2010 at 5:40 PM ^

Quiet people absorb it, real fans create more of it.

I will say the people that stayed at the game after we were down 21 are probably the more diehard Michigan fans, and the team provided them with plenty to cheer about in the second half.

mGrowOld

October 19th, 2010 at 5:29 PM ^

Off topic a bit but if you liked "Ok I'm done" and you happen to have a career in sales you have to watch this one too:

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=joy+of+salesman&aq=f

I've shown this to about five different peddlers like myself and the reaction is always "did somebody at my company write that?"

Torment is universal in sales.

Sorry for the interruption.  You may now go back to your RR bashing/supporting as previously scheduled.

Bodogblog

October 19th, 2010 at 5:35 PM ^

a part in some confusion and at least one timeout.  My fiancee' pointed at StanziAmerica and yelled out "They Can't Hear Him!"  She's not one to read what she wants to see into things, as I am, so we can all trust her judgment.  Big House was rockin'

zlionsfan

October 19th, 2010 at 6:00 PM ^

It basically says everything that I believe about the BCS.

The fact that Billingsley is even included ... ugh. If they ever drop him, my cat would love to be included.

bigmc6000

October 20th, 2010 at 8:58 AM ^

Doesn't the Mad Hatter have a vote?  I know the computers have more influence than 1 voter in the coaches poll but so long as Les Miles has a vote I'm not sure we can really get all Torch & Pitchfork on Billingsly, well, at least without doing the same to the coaches!

Yostal

October 19th, 2010 at 6:35 PM ^

OK, giving full credit to the loud and raucous crowd that did make life difficult for the Hawkeyes during the final drive, I do have a question that has bothered me for years about crowd noise.

Realizing that it may well be nigh unsustainable, isn't it, theoretically, just as important to be loud while the opposing team is in the huddle so they have difficulty hearing the initial assignments, or is the pre-snap adjustment more critical?

Kal

October 19th, 2010 at 6:53 PM ^

But the changes made at the line are in response to what the QB sees from the D on the field and he adjusts his receivers routes, blocks, etc accordingly. Noise can greatly affect the QBs ability to do so. It does drive me batshit crazy that most of the fans don't understand that noise can disrupt a playcall at the huddle too. They usually start around ~20 on the playclock for whatever reason. I start as soon as I see a huddle and people in the student section just look like I'm drunk (which I probably am, but it isn't the only reason I'm making noise in that situation).

RAWKfalcon

October 20th, 2010 at 9:48 AM ^

I typically wait until the TV ref douche is off of the field.  No use using up my voice during a commercial...   And I would like to say that I woke up Sunday morning with absolutely no voice whatsoever.  And I sit in "real people seats" surrounded by a bunch of old alumni who were screaming just as much as I was.  Just to put to rest that ALL old people sit on their hands during a football game...

caup

October 19th, 2010 at 6:55 PM ^

He hasn't been effective at DT so far.

But I think Avery will be a solid CB for us. He is fast, aggressive, and is a hell of an athlete.  He missed a tackle (albeit a big one, sure).

But give Avery some time. We're gonna like him.

 

p.s. Those sharks made me laugh out loud. Good stuff!

Mi Sooner

October 19th, 2010 at 7:42 PM ^

At the old big 10 on Packard. Same hair but all white. He was wearing an LSU ball cap. His bestest buddy was, of course, the crazy coach down in baton rouge.

El Jeffe

October 19th, 2010 at 9:27 PM ^

This will be a bit of a stretch for me to say something snarky about the OMG RICHROD RAN OFF MALET HE SUX WHY NOT RUN PROSTILE crowd (is there such a crowd?), but in the entertaining bit about Tim TRY FIGHT WIN Brewster, there was this nugget:

The offense alone transitioned from Glen Mason's power running game, to Dunbar's spread offense, to Fisch's 300-page-playbook pro set offense, back to a power running game.

Uh yeah. That rarely works out, Malletteers. Also musical coordinators doesn't tend to work, anti-GERGers. Patience, pets.

StraightDave

October 19th, 2010 at 9:38 PM ^

It makes sense with all the depth at the DL position.  Plus, I was getting worried that Delio would get buried on the DL depth chart.    Anyone check out Big Wills awesome line play during the blocked punt in the Iowa game? 

myantoniobass …

October 19th, 2010 at 10:14 PM ^

I agree with Brian about the argument that RR's spread will work in the Big 10.  However I also agree with a point I think the PSU blogger is making IF Denard continues to struggle completing passes on complex routes/checks downfield.  Let's face it, MSU and Iowa were struggles for his passing game.  If that continues throughout the Big 10, teams will play the run/quick outs/slants and dare Denard to see the field deep AND make an accurate throw.  Yes I think he can hit those passes.  But if you don't think there is at least a 30% chance he will continue to struggle, and Tate will play more since he actually can stretch the field more with his arm then Denard's with his legs, then we aren't being realistic about what we've seen the last 2 weeks.

SirJack

October 20th, 2010 at 12:51 PM ^

I agree. MSU and Iowa both contained Denard (and against MSU he looked almost helpless at times; part of this is playcalling: too much is being put on his shoulders).

Both teams managed to hold us to one touchdown for an entire half, number of yards notwithstanding. Since Dernard is not much of a threat passing downfield (like, distances over 20 yards) the defense can prepare for the usual screens and QB draws and while giving up yards still keep us out of the endzone. It was 28-7 when he left the field against Iowa. Then Tate came in and lit things up (okay, until he threw two picks, but still his 235 yards passing in a little over one quarter was the best production of the game).

Also, Dernard is being run into the ground. There hasn't been a game in which he hasn't been hurt and had to leave. Is RR telling him to bulldoze into LBs? Shouldn't he be told to slide to the ground so that he'll be able to walk and maybe even stay in for the next play? If RR keeps pushing it like this, it's going to break.

I think we should play both Dernard and Tate liberally against PSU.

tubauberalles

October 20th, 2010 at 12:56 PM ^

but I think we also need to consider Brian's post yesterday showing gaping holes in PSU's secondary - particularly in the underneath/flats.  As long as Denard executes at an average level, it looks like he'll be able to find plenty.  Now, if we're only assuming that execution is something to be concerned with Denard and not with Tate (two picks himself last week), then I agree there might be a reason to think Tate will be better.  But is that a fair, let alone accurate, assumption?

jhackney

October 19th, 2010 at 10:42 PM ^

that may have been asked or well known already, so be easy on me. Is there any statistical proof of bye weeks helping a lagging part of a team (i.e. Michigan's secondary)? I know it will help with injuries and game planning for PSU, but what about fundamentals and schemes? Thanks!

NateVolk

October 19th, 2010 at 11:02 PM ^

I haven't laughed that hard since the Lloyd Brady photoshop thread a few weeks ago.  If off weeks are key to getting a reappearance of the thread reader videos, we need more byes on the schedule.

The British woman swearing is priceless.

This blog rules.

oriental andrew

October 19th, 2010 at 11:07 PM ^

completely forgot about your fisking of Billingsley.  I still can't believe the BCS included him as a computer pollster, but I'd have to think that the BCS is basically trying to get another human poll in there in the guise of a computer poll. 

Also, TRY FIGHT WIN RETROSPECTIVE GOLD JERRY GOLD!!!

ijohnb

October 20th, 2010 at 9:00 AM ^

Penn State blogger agrees with, really, everybody in the Big Ten not named Rich Rodriguez.  They are pulling for Michigan to play the starter over the backup.  Wow.

M-Wolverine

October 20th, 2010 at 9:53 AM ^

For the video to make the front page....if that's not deserving of the front page, what is?
<br>
<br>And not to be Debbie Downer, but on that huge punt last Saturday, didn't Iowa score after it anyway? More a knock on metrics than the team.