Unverified Voracity Is Over It- &#$*#$! Comment Count

Brian July 7th, 2008 at 11:30 AM

Programming note: the first-string laptop is currently undergoing repairs, so content might be a little limited over the next couple days. There is a timeshare going on with the second-string laptop.

Sigh. Most of the pain caused by the Horror has been dulled by the passage of time. You could even make a case that since it precipitated a chain of events that saw Rich Rodriguez hired as head coach, the damn thing was actually a net benefit. But the wound is still raw enough for this to sting:

(Big here if you want to see the thing in all its damnable glory.) At least it's not on the top of the ring, I guess. Also, #$&*.

Convenient. Just as the more excitable variety of Ohio State fan was ready to bring forth the proclamations of a Great Fall for Michigan's ethics under Rich Rodriguez, who held a gun to Kevin Grady's head as Grady feebly protested his 35th jagerbomb of the night, comes another disciplinary incident for wayward son Eugene Clifford:

According to police, Clifford hit two Holy Grail employees who were trying to break up a fight early Friday at the Corryville tavern.

He's got two misdemeanor assault charges pending and has in all likelihood seen his last day at Ohio State. (Clifford has a number of other disciplinary incidents on his record.) Glass houses and all that.

But... right. I linked this on the sidebar earlier, but it deserves some additional discussion: holy crap, Grady was loaded. Wikipedia says the .281 he blew was somewhere between "confusion" and "stupor" and just a few beers away from "coma"; this is not a garden variety DUI. Drew Sharp, of course, says "off with his head" so he can later write a column about lawlessness when Rodriguez shows a shred of common sense and doesn't boot a guy with no previous incidents of misbehavior aside from minor traffic violations. Mmmm: cheap hits.

What to do? A .281 is beyond the point at which you can reasonably claim a lack of judgment... or it's beyond the point where you can reasonably claim anything but a lack of judgment since, you know, all he could do when presented with the charges was drool. There has been plenty of internet speculation about a drinking problem since .281 is the kind of BAC that knocks out mortal livers, though wags have pointed out that if Grady was binging like this on a regular basis and getting through Barwis workouts he's some sort of superhero, probably Duffman. In any case, Grady should be put on notice and forced to Barwis his way back onto the team a la Adrian Arrington; I'd be disappointed to see him before the Big Ten schedule.

(Side note: yes, Grady drives a 2007 Denali. Yes, his father is loaded. He got in trouble with the MSHAA for offering free housing to high school athletes so they could transfer to East Grand Rapids; he can afford a nice car for his kid.)

Gratuitous-tube. 1991 MSU-Michigan from WolverineHistorian:

EEEEE. Speaking of Barwis:

Taylor has made a number of adjustments in the off-season, including his training. He claimed he returned from the Capital One Bowl in January weighing 327 pounds. Now, thanks to Michigan's intense workout regime, he's below 304 and plans to be at 295 by Aug. 4 when twice-a-day practices begin.

The last time he recalls weighing 295? Sometime early in his days at Muskegon.

Asked if he'll be "cut," Taylor relented.

"I'm going to be lean," he said, laughing, knowing what his 6-foot frame can handle. "I know doing that, being more flexible, doing the things they want and improving in the areas I can improve in, all working together, it's a blessing I stayed here and we got (strength coach) Mike Barwis."

Taylor was heavily rumoured to be a reluctant participant in the new conditioning regime, spending most of the spring behind John Ferrara. If this fluffy nougat piece is an accurate representation of the current situation, that would be a major boost. There's a diary with some Barwis links for your edification.

Jerseybits. The big reveal of the home jerseys drifted through the internet a few days ago, but I misinterpreted the results. Readers point out that what Phil Callihan and myself thought were block Ms on the sleeves are numbers. The angle of the shot was deceptive; MPride08 provides another angle:

This is a replica, FWIW. There has been some worry that the names have been taken off the jerseys because none of the example shots have nameplates, but since these are for sale they can't have player names on them.

Your war what? Braylon:

The 25-year-old Browns receiver's ensemble was carefully designed, he says, to show he's professional and fun. Even his fragrance, Bond No. 9, serves a higher purpose. "It's my war cologne," he says. "It's a strong, masculine scent. I wear it when I'm trying to show confidence or be dominant."

Do what you will with this information. I plan on sitting in a chair with my mouth agape for 23 minutes and 16 seconds.

Etc.: Free Press article interviews Tony Dews, clarifies that James Rogers is indeed a wide receiver.



July 7th, 2008 at 11:39 AM ^

That NFL corners could be intimidated through the use of pheromones.


Although the dominance thing does explain why he sprayed piss on those MSU corners in 04.  


July 7th, 2008 at 12:15 PM ^

Do what you will with this information. I plan on sitting in a chair with my mouth agape for 23 minutes and 16 seconds.

Had me laughing for 2 minutes 27 seconds.  


Doesn't Clifford know you can just say "it" and it will hurt the Holy Grail employees?  Unless of course it was the Black Knight.

big gay heart

July 7th, 2008 at 12:32 PM ^

When Braylon wants to feel dominant, he wears his signature Braylon Edwards War Cologne, the aforementioned No.9.

When he wants to feel sexy, he wears Sean John: Unforgivable .

Either way, he's sending a message to all the hot little bitties in the world: My name's Braylon and I'm DTF. Are you?


July 7th, 2008 at 12:51 PM ^

I trust the good people at Appalachian State made a formal request to the University of Michigan in order to put the trademarked block "M" on that ring.

Tim Waymen

July 7th, 2008 at 1:09 PM ^

That's interesting.  You have me wondering the same thing.  I don't think that that is the case, because it's just an M without any color or anything it that distinguishes it from any other M e.g. Maryland's, which is essentially the same.  Usually, the M will be trademarked if the M has "Michigan" across the middle or even if it is merely blue (a particular shade?).  Now, how much does it matter that M clearly refers to a particular entity? It is implied (an understatement) that that symbol refers to that block M used by Michigan.  Unless you have been living in a cage, you know what the M is referring to, especially since it also says Michigan on the ring.  Additionally, is the likeness of the Big House trademarked?  Seattle Blue is the lawyer here, so let's hope that he sees your interesting comment.

A different issue: assuming that the M is trademarked, if I were the powers that be at Michigan, I wouldn't give App St. permission.  It's just too painful.  But then Michigan ends up looking bad, like a sore loser.  I hated that day.  September 1 was just one 1 away (or ten days) from being 9/11.  What a painful disaster.

Here's a solution to all this: get your fucking team ready for every game, including those against FCS teams!


July 7th, 2008 at 1:14 PM ^

Bringing a lawsuit against ASU for celebrating one of the biggest wins in college football history is like slapping your kid because you forgot to buy beer at the store - it might make us feel better for a second, but it doesn't change the fact we're sitting alone crying because we fucked up.

Let them enjoy it - they went out and earned their win and the right to celebrate it. 


July 7th, 2008 at 12:54 PM ^

The authentic home jersey, on sale now, posted in an earlier diary (which I think is just as good a view as the "better view" of the replica jersey), clearly has enough room for a name plate.


The Addidas logo on the strip in the back is considerably higher than on the replica jersey (perhaps done to convince people who want a name sewn on to upgrade to the more expensive authentic jersey). Anyway, the authentic home jersey looks very nice to me. Quite similar to the jerseys we wore last year.


July 7th, 2008 at 2:08 PM ^

While the use of the "M" raises an interesting question, in situations like this I think that it is best to ask "What Wouldn't WVU Do?"  WVU would probably bring suit, create a PR nightmare, and reinforce the notion that they are petty and small-time. 

Michigan is better than that.  Regardless of what intellectual property law says about the issue, there is little to be gained by making a big issue out of it, and a lot to be lost.  Challenging the use of the logo would make us look like sore losers, something that would warm the hearts of all of those that already hate Michigan.  ASU was a terrible loss, but reminding our foes of just how painful it was does not benefit us fans nor does it benefit the program.

RR and the team are looking to the future, and I am looking forward to the team having such success that ASU comes to mean nothing more than the turning point at which the program was reminded to reject mediocrity and strive to once again be the leaders and best.


July 7th, 2008 at 1:18 PM ^

If you would have let Mallet rub some of that cologne on his hand, would he not have fumbled the snap so many times? What about Grady? or Bike Hart on the goal line against Florida? or Navarre for his whole career? Tell us Braylon...TELL US!!!

i w i n y o u …

July 7th, 2008 at 1:34 PM ^

i actually know eugene, its sad he's acting up like this.. he can really play... he'll just end up tranferring to UC in a season or 2 if he doesnt get thrown in jail... that guy with the megaman avi, thats just hilarious.. i couldnt stop laughin..

Rush N Attack

July 7th, 2008 at 1:53 PM ^

Hmmm...I didn't even see our stadium on the ring when I first looked at the post...maybe my brain was trying to save me from any pain it might cause... Now I'm not so sure I'm okay with it. Aww, what the hell. Us trying to tell anyone else what they can and can't put on their rings would just make us look childish. I think they actually look a little stupid putting it on there anyways.


July 7th, 2008 at 2:11 PM ^

that more people will remember their team for beating Michigan than for winning the FCS title and that you must admit it'll be one fucking cool story for the players to tell their grandkids someday, I don't think it makes them look silly at all.


July 7th, 2008 at 2:26 PM ^

As a die-hard Michigan fan, your response should be (and try to sound sincere, not like sarcastic prick): "I absolutely think that SHOULD be on your championship ring. Beating a mediocre 9-4 Michigan team that tied for 2nd place in the lousy Big Ten was the single greatest accomplishment in the history of your program. So yeah, great job with that!"

The Barking Sp…

July 7th, 2008 at 2:28 PM ^

You're ordinarily one of the funny, intelligent guys. Now, go to the corner and take a corn cob and stick it up your ass for equating, or nearly equating, a football game to 9/11. No vaseline or KY either. Just shove that thing up your ass for being so brazenly pathetic as to even hint that a football came carries anything more than a very cursory importance in the grand scheme of things. And never do something to make me this mad again.

Tim Waymen

July 7th, 2008 at 3:45 PM ^

Er. It wasn't meant to be serious and it was more a parody of the way that someone might exaggerate the importance of sports, but I apologize if I seemed to tastelessly suggest that the two events carried similar gravity.

For the record, I don't actually believe that The Horror was the worst thing to ever happen, as it is just a game. It was quite possibly the worst thing to ever happen in sports, at least for me, but I don't actually think that an event in sports even approaches the loss of human life. I'm a bit smarter than that.

The Barking Sp…

July 7th, 2008 at 2:33 PM ^

While I do get a kick out of rationalizing away their victory by saying stuff like, "Well y3eah, man, Michigan was a pile of 9-4 poo and the Big Ten was poo too", you have to give them their due. They showed how pathetic Lloyd Carr's version of Michigan had become, and they deserve a ring not just for making sure Lloyd wouldn;t be back, but embarrassing him and his staff enough so that none of those fucktards would replace him.

Rush N Attack

July 7th, 2008 at 2:43 PM ^

Navy should get rings this year with the Commander-in-Chief trophy on one side of their ring, and then the Notre Dame score on the other side.....because THAT's what they'll be remembered for. And all Stanford football players should get rings for helping win the Sears Director's Cup, and maybe on one side, they could put the score to the USC game (along with the pre-game Vegas spread)... I'm starting to warm up to this idea....

Son of Jorel

July 7th, 2008 at 2:44 PM ^

Reggie Bush drove a Denali at Usc... Yeah that Eugene Kid has been a delight since the day he's committed. Lets see 1. got arrested for smoking pot spring of his senior year 2. got kicked off the team right before national championship game 3. was held out of spring practice for infraction-positive drug test we believe 4. and now boxing busboys.... Unfucking real


July 7th, 2008 at 2:51 PM ^

It's also ironic that the land that produced our most humiliating defeat(Appalachia), one that tore our prgram asunder, is also the same land, from the Appalachian Mountains of West Virgina, that gave us our (hopefully) new and prodigiously successful Head Coach for the next 20 years. Ya know, 'cuz dem boys from Appalachia can play some ball, and now WE got one of those good ol' boys, Richie Rod-RE-Gez, and he gonna put a butt whuppin' on our rivals now... YEEEE HAWWW!!!!

Tim Waymen

July 7th, 2008 at 3:17 PM ^

It all comes around full circle.  Jerry Moore, IIRC, learned the spread offense from Rich Rodriguez.  Again, IIRC, LSU was originally supposed to play App St last year, but instead LSU opted out so that it could get the Thurs night slot for first game of the year, against Mississippi St.  App St was available and was asked to play us.  It's a strange turn of events, one that resulted in the worst, most embarrassing loss ever.  I don't know if I would want that to happen to anyone else, not even the teams I hate most.  It was so damn painful.

 Actually, if it happened to someone else, it would take a bit of the attention away from our defeat.  How about if Georgia loses to Georgia Southern?  Pundits will say that that is even bigger because Georgia was supposed to be really good with all of its returning starters and was ranked #1.  Also, the App St loss will look more legit in a way since GA Southern and App St. are in the same conference.  Keep dreaming...

The Barking Sp…

July 7th, 2008 at 2:56 PM ^

When I want some confidence, or when I want to be dominant, I use a cologne called "Ass". It lets the lucky ladies at the bar know that I am the shit. It lets them know what hole I'm after. It let's them know that I can walk around smelling like shit, and they are still going to come home with me. It's kind of a reverse psychology thing. When they smell "Ass", and they ask if that is coming from me, I say, "No. Of course not. It's from pretty boy who just bought you a drink. He is a homo, and can't wash off the smell". It may not work on getting her in the sack every time, but usually she runs off, leaving the drink behind, and it's a SCORE! for me either way.


July 7th, 2008 at 3:02 PM ^

http://www.logos.umich.edu/usemarks.html Relevant bits: "Consumer Products. A license must be obtained prior to any external, commercial use of the University marks, including the manufacture and distribution of all commercial and consumer products. Applications for a license may be obtained from the University’s licensing agent, the Collegiate Licensing Company on their website. Photographs of campus scenes, landmarks, or athletic events may only be used for news and editorial purposes and may not be exploited commercially without the express permission of the Office of the Vice President for Communications. NCAA regulations require that photographs of current student-athletes enrolled at the University may not be sold or used in association with commercial products. Photographs of former University student-athletes may not be sold or used without their consent and written permission." And I think we used to license the logo to Missouri, or let them use it for free, can't remember. But then they decided it would be easier for them to change their logo. http://webcom.missouri.edu/policy/logo-guidelines.php But I don't think we should sue them, best to let this one slide by unnoticed. Also, if it's only given to the players, is it considered a commercial product? or can anyone buy one?

Tim Waymen

July 7th, 2008 at 3:22 PM ^

It would make us look really bad.  Big, wealthy Michigan picking on that poor little school that upset them.  Still, if whoever made the rings (lets assume App St) did so without permission, then UM has a legitimate lawsuit on its hands (even if UM shouldn't pursue it), and it wouldn't be like Wisconsin suing Washburn College for having a similar W.

 It's possible that the rings were made by some official body of the NCAA, which may already have the right to use those logos.  I don't know though.

The Barking Sp…

July 7th, 2008 at 3:07 PM ^

Knowing Appalachia as I, and I think most of us here do, it's only going to be a matter of weeks before those rings start showing up in Ebay or in pawn shops to be sold for enough capital to start up new meth labs throughout the region.


July 7th, 2008 at 3:33 PM ^

At least you guys dont have to see michigan who shirts everyday... or have 5 former players that play for App State. And the icing on the cake? our coaches clinic in 2 weeks, ill have to listen to the key note speakers, thats right App state is this years staff invited to speak at our clinic. What do you bet the main topic will be all week long?


July 7th, 2008 at 3:49 PM ^

But you've gotta embrace it.  No other choice. I've found that if you take the approach "Hey, Great win! Your win over Michigan was the greatest thing you guys ever did..." and embrace it that way, then you're really giving respect to Michigan AND Appy State for a really nice victory.


July 7th, 2008 at 4:08 PM ^

Thats really what ive done.  After all, if you remeber i was sitting in the app state section as a guest to  for one of my former players during that game.  So i was actually excited for them,  just not in a fun way.  Actually the most anoying ones down here are the osu fans that i coach with.  They are the ones that dont let it die.  Most of the app state fans have been pretty cool to me. Just not looking forward to watching the app guys break down the video in front of 4000 people.


July 7th, 2008 at 4:16 PM ^

That App State game really opened my eyes to the fact that English and his staff were not so great.  I had suspicions after the 2006 game at OSU, but the 1st half of the Appy State game can definitely provide a clinic on what NOT to do. It's only after halftime (probably when Szabo or Bedford pointed it out) that English made the proper adjustments. Watching your team make bonehead plays over and over again, rewind, again. Rewind, again. That's like some kind of torture, man!


July 7th, 2008 at 6:47 PM ^

not sure if know Brian, but Grady, Sr. is well known in the Grand Rapids area---very mixed opinions of the guy on the professional level...not sure if you listen to "The Huge Show" but Huge (is a big UM supporter and in coach R2's jock) has been roasting Grady, Jr today on the radio...

Ninja Football

July 7th, 2008 at 6:05 PM ^

GSims, I wish we'd beat OSU last year for no other reason than I'd send you a complimentary "Ohio State: Easier to beat than Appalachian State" tee-shirt. Well, that and I could've sold thousands of those, instead of the handful of Michigan State, Florida and ND ones I've sold. Caup, Alanis Morrisette calls bullshit on your definition of irony. Oh, wait... BS, Dude you're on a roll today. Dare I say your increased anger actually makes you sound rational? As for the rings, let them have their fun. If we didn't want them not to gloat about it should've beat them. Period. Instead we shit the bed. Kudos to them for beating us.


July 8th, 2008 at 1:47 AM ^

Did the Horror really "precipitate a chain of events that saw Rich Rodriguez hired as head coach"? I thought it was an open secret before last season that Lloyd would call it a career at the end of the year. Or is the suggestion that without that game, Mike DeBord or another assistant would have gotten the job instead of an outside hire? I guess we'll never know.


July 8th, 2008 at 11:31 AM ^

there's NO question that if Carr had even a "very good" year, say 11-3 0r 10-3 with no Horror, he would've absolutely been able to pick his successor, like Bo did. But the season was such a train wreck that the alumni base demanded a housecleaning.