Unverified Voracity Lays Down The Bulk Of Jewish Laws

Submitted by Brian on February 8th, 2011 at 1:13 PM

The must-get. I mentioned this on twitter yesterday but in case you don't follow me and my pork-induced time travel, this man exists:


This man exists and is an in-state defensive back who already claims an Iowa offer. I promise to refer to him as LEVITICUS PAYNE, in full, in caps, for the duration of his career if he ends up at Michigan. Unless that is an illegal inducement. Which it totally isn't.

Love expert. So… yeah… this…

…is the best thing ever produced by a university athletic department. Fact. It also produced a sad zinger, if you're a masochist. (Quick masochist test follows. Q: Are you a Michigan fan?)

Pipped. Sticking with hockey, Bryan Hogan is healthy. Unfortunately for him, Shawn Hunwick's been playing as well as he possibly can and Hogan's had nine games over the past year. Result:

Hunwick has been solid since then, and remains the Wolverines' No. 1 goalie. But if necessary, Berenson said Hogan could be inserted into the lineup. Berenson said he never considered making a change in Saturday's 3-0 loss to Miami after Hunwick gave up three goals in the first 40 minutes.

Not sure why he'd pull Hunwick after he gave up some goals where 1) he fell victim to a wraparound because he's short and has to come way out of the net, 2) got sold out on a breakaway, which he stopped, only to get sold out on the guy following up the play, and 3) gave up a 5x3 goal on a cross-ice bomb to one of the nation's best power plays.

Also, Red fired up the line blender and came up with this:

Carl Hagelin          Louie Caporusso  Chris Brown
Scooter Vaughan  Matt Rust             Luke Glendening
David Wohlberg    A.J. Treais            Luke Moffatt
Ben Winnett         Kevin Lynch          Derek DeBlois

Based on recent performance I think AnnArbor.com has the second and third lines flipped there. Will it matter? Eh… maybe. I still think you have to put Lindsey Sparks in just to see what happens when a little guy with some skill gets on the ice.

Basketball follow-up. When I went back to assess NCAA tournament chances it struck me how close this team was to pulling off two or three wins that would have them not on the bubble but solidly in the tourney, and I thought about the 2009 team that got those wins against UCLA and Duke.

So is it good or bad that right now Michigan is the #55 team in Kenpom? Two years ago the Michigan team that made the second round of the tourney finished the year 50th. This team is nearly their equal. Look:

Team Offense Rk Defense Rk
2009 113.3 44th 95.2 67th
2011 110.5 46th 96.1 77th

This year's team is slightly worse at both O and D but the differences are small and Michigan is so young you can argue they'd play better down the stretch than older teams closer to the top of the learning curve. That year's team was also so young—289th nationally—and improved at the tail end to squeeze its way in. If this edition of Michigan basketball can do that against a reasonable closing stretch the sole difference between this year and the tourney year will be a few points here and there against UCLA, Duke, Syracuse, OSU, and Kansas.

Possible addition. Chris Pool tweeted something about a Graham Glasgow visiting Michigan this weekend. [update: and as I write this I see Tom's all-seeing eye has confirmed it.] Glasgow is a 2011 OL from Illinois with no ranking anywhere. After reading the stuff available on Rivals it seems he's a preferred walk-on sort. He had an Eastern Michigan offer but Minnesota was talking to him about walking on. Also he just visited Ohio State(!), and I'm pretty sure they're full since OL Chris Carter ended up not getting charged* in his Hand That Rocks The Cradle case. If he's looking for a walk-on spot Michigan can accommodate that, and possibly sell him on the idea he's got a better shot at PT at M.

*[Which seriously people, when you complain about Ohio State being "at it again" you sound ridiculous. Fulmer Cup standings do not lie unless we're talking about Michigan State. Feel free to hammer OSU for its regular scandals involving their players having contact with boosters and Kiffin-esque secondary violation collection, but as far as behavior goes people who live in fairly sturdy brick houses shouldn't throw rocks at others in fairly sturdy brick houses. It's pointless and you look silly.]

Exactly wrong. Excellent The Only Colors post on the effect losing Korey Lucious has had on the Spartan basketball team stands in magnificent contrast to the News's take: "Deflating loss exposes Spartans' lack of grit, heart." This is exactly wrong. MSU is playing an elf who bakes cookies. He is backing up another goofy walk-on. This is the corrected version of that headline:

Deflating loss exposes Spartans' excess of grit, heart


Deflating loss exposes Spartans' lack of persons to put balls through hoop

Not that this will stop anyone's stupid meme. Some poll found that 81 percent of the state didn't go to either Michigan or Michigan State. A third of these people said they weren't fans of either. A third said they were MSU fans, a third said they were Michigan fans.

Graph. Here's a graph of Michigan's offerees and where they went from Touch The Banner:

Statistical Analysis of 2011 Recruiting, by conference

It'll be interesting to see how this graph shifts under Hoke. Guessing the overall numbers get smaller and the SEC's share shrinks drastically.

Etc.: Kansas ditched the students who follow players around to make sure they're in class and is now going with senior citizens. About half of I-A has gotten nailed for major violations, but major ain't what it used to be. Michigan gets to be on a list of a dozen schools that got hit twice YAYAYAYAYAY. Bob Wojonowski being Radley Balko back in the day. Previous article about Rodriguez dissing former players disputed by Woodley, Orr, Runyan. Stewart Mandel obliterates Saban's attempt to defend himself from negative PR about oversigning.



February 8th, 2011 at 1:26 PM ^

I hope they (media) can keep these fires burning untill the the NCAA  can pass a rule with teeth dagnammit.

Also can't get enough 2012 prospect talk...It's PAYNEfully long wait till sping ball.

Huntington Wolverine

February 8th, 2011 at 3:57 PM ^

""I'm of the laissez faire philosophy that all is fair in love and recruiting," said Scout.com National Editor Allen Wallace. "It's easy to sit back and say oversigning should not be allowed if it's not your job. But ... these guys are paid millions and millions of dollars to protect their team. You're asking him to put his moral obligation to the player above his obligation to the school." [emphasis mine]

What a joke, how dare someone expect the coach to put the students first?  What a false dichotomy.

matty blue

February 8th, 2011 at 1:42 PM ^

i agree that the loss of lucious ripped some sort of scab off the talent level on the court, but i think you could also make the case that state has shown a lack of grit for a couple of years now...last season they beat gonzaga early, won at purdue late, but beyond that they didn't win a big game until the tournament.  even then, they didn't exactly beat murderer's row (new mexico state, maryland, northern iowa, tennessee - seeded 12, 4, 9, and 6, respectively) to get to the final four.


February 13th, 2011 at 9:25 PM ^

Yeah, as a Michigan fan, Michigan State's waltz through that murderer's row into the Final Four last year was absolutely infuriating.  They were the lowest-seeded team to make the Final Four without facing a 1, 2, or 3 seed since 6-seeded Kansas made it in 1988.  And at least Kansas had the decency to prove they deserved to be there, defeating (2) Duke and (1) Oklahoma to win it all.


February 8th, 2011 at 1:49 PM ^

According to Yost Post (http://michigan.rivals.com/showmsg.asp?fid=41&mid=142213603&sid=883&tid…) the third and 2nd lines from AA.com are switched.  Also, that link has Hagelin centering Cappy and Brown, fwiw.  Lynch is the 4th center in both.  I won't spend 1,000,000,000,000,000 characters analyzing the line changes again, but I think most of the changes make sense and at this point any mix-up can only help... Hopefully some things start clicking.  The other interesting note, is that Red on the third line, said it's not a demotion for Rust, but a promotion for Scooter, since Glendening is on the line too.  That should be an absolute SUPER defensive line, at the very least...  I'll be interested to see (if the line stays together through the weekend) if that third line takes some of the new 2nd lines time, I'd think so, to some extent, but I don't really know, obviously.  I also think that Red's comment, even if not true (and I think it is a demotion for Rust/Glendening, maybe not a huge one, but it's at least a factor along with promoting Scooter) makes a lot of sense for him to make.  I haven't said this enough, but Rust has 44 shots.  44.  That's less than 1.5 per game.  For a top line center.  That's a problem.  And part of why he isn't scoring.  He has like negative confidence in his shot, so Red trying to make this avoid seeming like a demotion is to try to keep Rust's confidence up, but he has to be dropped down because he's not really doing anything offensively...

EDIT: And an interesting note I didn't notice, but Streaker on TBTYB did, Moffatt's been moved over to the right wing, which is his more natural side.


February 9th, 2011 at 9:59 AM ^

push for more Lindsay Sparks cowbell, but we don't play our home games at JLA.

Not a real stretch here to say that if the persona non grata forward banished from the team this season would have stuck to hockey and not tomfoolery, he may have had the chance to play, also. Depth scoring options are thin.

GBFS- I like your comments on Rust. Ditto for Lynch, too. Maybe a move to center will actually give him a chance to shoot more- as long as they don't take a cue from our d-men and shoot the puck into opponents shin guards.


February 9th, 2011 at 10:48 AM ^

I totally called his goal at the GLI.  I'm actually kind of surprised he didn't get two or three...  I think that if they could fit him on the third line, then I'd be fine with that, but for a 4th liner I like DeBlois.  I feel like he's not that much bigger, but that he plays more of a checking game.  Sparks needs a little more freedom.  I think that a



sort of thing could work pretty well, but given his production so far this year, it's hard to argue against Scooter seeing the ice a little more.  Obviously Sparks will be have to play a good amount next year, though and depending on how he plays with others, I could potentially see him on the second line. 

Sparks can definitely be a weapon for us and in pretty limited viewing, he looks like he's improved defensively over last season, but I think he needs to still work on that part of his game.  Also, I'd like to see him maybe pass a bit more when he plays.  He gets into pretty good places a lot and draws a couple defenders but then tries to manuever through them himself rather than find someone to pass to.  In fairness, some of the time he's pretty alone in the offensive zone when he's doing that and occasionally he still gets a pretty good shot off, but if he could hit the late man, that might get some pretty good opportunities.  I might be remembering things completely wrong because it's been a while since I've seen him play, but I feel like a fair number of his plays start with some promise and end up without even an opportunity.  Then again, hitting the trailer for a pretty good shot might be the worst thing he could do, given the teams ability to score when they're in alone on the goalie...

S.G. Rice

February 8th, 2011 at 2:27 PM ^

Leviticus Payne?  Er, I mean LEVITICUS PAYNE?

Sounds pretty Old Testament.  Excellent.  Count me in, I'm very much in favor of a defense that will inflict a biblical ass whuppin' on other teams.

And son, be wary of false idols wearing sweatervests.  Just sayin'. 


February 8th, 2011 at 2:55 PM ^

I'd just like to point out that Graham Glasgow is coached by Kurt Becker, former Michigan captain, two-time All-Big 10 guard, All-American, and Lombardi Trophy finalist.  Becker says Glasgow has NFL potential, although potential is almost all he really is right now (my caveat, not Becker's).  Also, Marmion Academy -- Glasgow's high school -- is a military school run by monks, which I think sounds tremendous.


February 8th, 2011 at 3:12 PM ^

Leviticus (the 3rd book of the Torah) in hebrew is called "VaYikra". Meaning "G-d Called" (to Moses...)

So, with a little twist, this guy's name is not only LEVITICUS PAYNE, it's 


which, if possible, even more awesome


February 8th, 2011 at 4:34 PM ^

LEVITICUS PAYNE is my early entrant for the 2016 Name of the Year competition. Even better than the football player from Louisiana (I think) named Barkavious Mingo who won it a couple of years ago. I'd vote for him too, even if he went to UM.  But naturally, I'd prefer he went to MSU, lol.

Apropos of nothing, the line about Tom's all-seeing eye reminded me of: 

All-seeing Eye of TomVH

I would suggest he use that wherever possible, copyright law be damned.  Twitter icon?

TOC's analysis of Lucious and his impact on the team was great on the offensive end, but MSU is also doing a TURRIBLE job of defending the perimeter, to the great joy of Wolverine fans everywhere (actually, might be more accurate to say 'any team in the Big Ten').  During their game at Breslin, UM fired off a lot of uncontested threes.  OSU was also giving up threes in the first half, but locked the perimeter down in the second- I think that's why UM lost the game.  But MSU isn't doing that.  It looks like a lack of effort to me on defense.


February 8th, 2011 at 5:40 PM ^

We also offered Pharaoh Brown today.  Could Pharaoh and LEVITICUS co-exist?  Would we need a Moses on the coaching staff who, after excess tackling in practice, says "Let my people go."

Desmonlon Edwoodson

February 8th, 2011 at 8:03 PM ^

Is it just me, or does that Stanford S look absolutely bizarre next to the spartan s on LP's recruiting page?  How could one guy seriously be interested in both schools?  You either care about the quality of your education or you dont...Or so I thought?  I dont get it.