Unverified Voracity Is A Kuiper Belt Object
Sponsor note. One of the few benefits of walking to the stadium the last few years was a certain spaciousness to the tailgate proceedings. That just ended.
It's gonna get hairy out there. I foresee SUVs parked on top of each other, four to a stack. The lady on top of the stack has had too many wine coolers and is waving a kebab around threateningly.
Avoid certain doom at the hands of kebab wielders by reserving your spot ahead of time with Park 'n' Party. PnP has organized the parking situation around the stadium so that you can get a season pass at one of the many lots nearby. Eliminate pre-game worries; park next to friends so that when they have too many wine coolers they brandish their kebabs elsewhere.
If you've got an Event with an Expense Account attached to it, you are a lucky dog. Also Park and Party has many suitable places with attached man-caves with TVs and fancy block M brick patios.
There's a button midway down the right sidebar that will take you to their site if and when you need to secure your future attendance against ravenous hordes of people with tiny metal sticks with undercooked mushrooms on them. Or you could click on the links.
Kebabs are terrible. As tailgate food. I'm sure there is a way in which they can be good. They are terribly ill-suited for tailgating. Watch Joe disprove this spectacularly next week.
Your move, Ohio: a continuing series. One of Pluto's moons was lovingly shaped by the solar system as an homage to the great state of Michigan:
Hydra, on the right, is a dead ringer for the lower peninsula. No word yet on which of Pluto's more obscure moons looks like the UP. Probably the one with Houghton on it.
DAY 53. They said they captured it. They lied. Remain stuck in the FXB. Bodies of the innocent piled up outside the door. Smell of putrefaction overwhelming, but intermittent. There it is again. The door is open. Another poor soul attempts to make a break for it. The sounds of his failure are familiar by now, the horror of it distant, the boredom present.
Incredibly, I hear a lecture on aerodynamics going on somewhere above me. If I had the energy I would scream at these people. Scream bloody murder. Scream that the only aerodynamics that remain relevant in our lives are those that will take us from the top of this building to the street below.
Unless, of course, its maw intercepts us.
I do nothing. Above they drone on about lift ratios. Outside, Satan's final victory over Earth.
You may be waiting for your doom in the FXB but at least you didn't do this. A new challenger appears in the Worst AD Ever competition:
In December 2011, Kansas was strongly considering tabbing Auburn offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn to be its next head coach. … Malzahn had never been a college head coach, and neither had [Mark] Mangino before he arrived in Lawrence. Yet Malzahn was the O-coordinator for Auburn as the Tigers stunningly went 14-0 and won the 2011 national title, and Mangino coordinated Oklahoma’s national championship offense shortly before landing the Kansas job.
For Kansas, the Malzahn match made too much sense. But in a defining decision, the Jayhawks changed course in the final moments and opted to go with the biggest name they could get.
That happened to be Charlie Weis.
This year, Kansas has 64 scholarship players and will be paying Weis more than they pay their actual coach. The Weis phenomenon remains one of history's most inexplicably fascinating periods.
Wherever you go. Hey, I've been some of these places.
Even more Endzone Brandon's Lasting Lessons. Bacon did an hour-long interview with Drew and Mike that is fascinating. Drew and Mike did extensive homework and focus in on a lot of the key areas of the book; at times they ask direct questions about things Bacon can't respond to because no one would go on the record. Some things that I think aren't even in the book leak out:
- Brandon would make comments about personnel during his film-watching sessions—possibly even outright suggestions. Even if this the most benign version possible, it's so bad. Imagine your boss sitting down with you and saying "Devin's not doing so well." Now you are in a lovely pickle.
- If I read the thing about how Brandon's entourage would call ahead to hotels to make sure they had someone to open his car door, I must have blanked it out in an effort to defend myself from my brain's reaction to… that. Ditto that Brandon turned down private planes that were too small.
- Bacon thinks that Schlissel may have been inclined to wait until the end of the academic year before deciding what direction to go at AD, until that was suddenly no longer tenable. That would have been bad.
There's more that I can't remember off the top of my head. Eleven Warriors has an excerpt from the wild 42-41 OSU game.
Iowa fans on Rudock. Going to be fascinating to watch what happens at both Michigan and Iowa this year, particularly if Rudock outperforms CJ Beathard. BHGP is in the midst of its season preview content; their roundtable spends a question considering the departed:
Will Iowa fans miss Jake Rudock?
Adam: Not unless Beathard gets injured. Iowa fans saw two full years of Rudock. He’s a known quantity, and it was mostly a substandard quantity. If Rudock outperforms Beathard this year, it’ll likely be more of a referendum on Iowa’s and Michigan’s coaching staffs than on their quarterbacks. …
Patrick: Absolutely, because if there’s two things Iowa fans love, it’s a backup quarterback and the guy they let get away. The narrative changes have already begun, and will only get worse if Rudock is successful at Michigan or Beathard struggles. The vitriol directed at Rudock last season, most of it undeserved, will be completely forgotten the second that Beathard checks down to a two-yard out route or throws a horrible interception to the sideline.
Those are the two extremes of what's about a 50/50 split. If Rudock does seem significantly better, the fallout from Iowa City will be vicious.
The answer is yes. Look, kid, everything in life comes with a cost.
As pediatric cardiologist Dr. Ronald Grifkas howed 10-year-old Ivan Applin the wire-framed device that would be used to fix the holes in his heart, the Toledo fourth grader had just one burning concern.
“He asked if the Michigan doctors were going to make his heart love University of Michigan instead of Ohio State,” his mother Jennifer laughs.
When you grow up you'll be thankful for the switch. You'll put liquids in your cooler and remove them without any unfortunate encrustations upon them. You might have a law degree you're actually able to pay off!
Butch TD, 1979. Via Dr. Sap:
Love how Ufer immediately knows that's a program record.
Also, a 1980 feature on Gary Moeller from Michigan Replay:
Etc.: Surprise! Alabama's Cost of Attendance figure shoots up. Michigan ranks high in the pernicious and generally useless university rankings that have increasingly driven colleges to ridiculous measures in order to rank well, so they've got that going for them.
Spike was the most efficient pick and roll player in the Big Ten last year, albeit on relatively low usage. Via Steve Lorenz, Gus Johnson wanted to name his daughter after Bo. That's a new one.
August 26th, 2015 at 4:40 PM ^
Not to be pedantic, but the show is actually called "Drew and Marc". Marc's the big(ger) U of M fan and alum who made sure to reference mgoblog by name during the interview.
August 26th, 2015 at 8:37 PM ^
Besides, Mike was never much for reading books.
August 27th, 2015 at 6:23 AM ^
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August 27th, 2015 at 7:51 AM ^
90's "we're funny DJ's who can make sex jokes on the air" schtick that Drew still holds onto, their interviews with authors are actually really good. Drew does read a crapton, and most of the authors he has on, he makes a point to actually read the book in depth and ask deeper questions than what's on the jacket notes or PR material.
I'm so stoked to read this book now. I'm leaving my current job next week and I'm giving away copies of 3 & Out to select folks as training aids on how you can screw up royally from a management persepctive, even when things seemingly line up perfectly. I may be ordering a bunch of copies of BLL as well...
August 26th, 2015 at 4:45 PM ^
August 26th, 2015 at 4:58 PM ^
Ferentz is gone the instant his buyout cost drops below the GDP of a Baltic state. Harbaugh may be able to do many things; accelerating that process probaby ain't one of them.
August 26th, 2015 at 5:21 PM ^
Ferentz will never be gone.
Toughness. Tenacity. Punting. Ferentz is Iowa football.
August 26th, 2015 at 6:33 PM ^
People crap all over Ferentz - and I get why, since I'd eat my own eyeballs if he ran my team's offense - but his record at Iowa is pretty good. In 12 of 16 seasons, he's had a .500 or better Big Ten record, and he has four national top 10 finishes. Granted, the trajectory isn't good and he's one of those guys who's probably well past his time, but it's Iowa FFS.
August 26th, 2015 at 6:55 PM ^
August 26th, 2015 at 4:46 PM ^
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August 26th, 2015 at 4:47 PM ^
August 26th, 2015 at 5:15 PM ^
Come on! The bunkers, I mean the basement labs are very well suited for surviving things like turkey attacks. As a matter of fact, back in 2003 I think, I came out of the CAEN lab after a 2 hour stint and then found out that there were tornado warnings and wind advisories.
So yeah, it's ok to survive from turkey attacks.
August 26th, 2015 at 5:59 PM ^
I remember a bunch of people going down into the bunkered CAEN lab in the basement during a tornado warning and everyone working on a computer just shrugged and looked annoyed that there were more people crowding them.
"IT'S RAINING LAVA OUTSIDE!!"
"Wow, I am THIS close to getting this CFD analysis to converge, could you hide somewhere else?"
August 26th, 2015 at 7:01 PM ^
The basement of the Dude is also a good place to avoid natural disasters. However, there are individuals (who literally live down there) that will get peeved if you encroach on their territory.
August 27th, 2015 at 3:18 PM ^
I once saw a guy walk out of that CAEN lab in boxers and a toothbrush in his mouth. I was walking in with a toothbrush in my mouth hoping for an SDP analysis to be complete!
August 26th, 2015 at 4:51 PM ^
Love how the receiver #82 comes over and pulls a Jeru Chesson quality block on the two Wisconsin defenders and they knock each other out of the play.
August 27th, 2015 at 9:10 AM ^
if a receiver didn't block, he didn't play. Downfield blocks were expected and pretty commonplace.
August 27th, 2015 at 10:03 AM ^
It almost looks like the Wiscy safety was the one taking out his cornerback teammate -- with a little help from the WR.
August 27th, 2015 at 10:39 AM ^
Let's just face the fact that there is only one human being alive who can stop this turkey's reign of terror:
Jim Harbaugh.
August 26th, 2015 at 5:14 PM ^
You are terrible. As tailgate food.
August 26th, 2015 at 5:14 PM ^
August 26th, 2015 at 5:19 PM ^
Wild Turkey's fall season will open up and that turkey will be no more. I think at least, Wastenaw County might be part of zone YY, and I'm not entire clear what that means. It sounds like hunting on private grounds only.
August 26th, 2015 at 5:20 PM ^
"If I read the thing about how Brandon's entourage would call ahead to hotels to make sure they had someone to open his car door, I must have blanked it out in an effort to defend myself from my brain's reaction to… that. Ditto that Brandon turned down private planes that were too small."
The level of ego there is literally unbelievable. Kanye West is telling Brandon to chill out and get over himself.
August 26th, 2015 at 5:57 PM ^
August 26th, 2015 at 5:37 PM ^
While I can understand the "beggars can't be choosers" agrument, as someone who is 6'5" and change l can totally relate. The world just isn't built for people who are about 6'2" plus and transportation ranks among the worst offending industries. If I had as much money as Dave Brandon and was going to fly private, there is no way I would tolerate being scrunched into a small plane.
August 26th, 2015 at 5:47 PM ^
I'd have no problem with this. But he was turning his nose up at donated flights.
August 27th, 2015 at 10:40 AM ^
I'm not an expert on these things, but don't even relatively small private jets have comfortable first-class seating?
August 26th, 2015 at 5:54 PM ^
- "Bacon thinks that Schlissel may have been inclined to wait until the end of the academic year before deciding what direction to go at AD, until that was suddenly no longer tenable. That would have been bad."
- That explains all those rumors that Hoke might survive, coming from smart people like Sam Webb. There was a lot about the timetables of athletics that Schlissel didn't know at day 1 in all this, and he had conversations with people who then talked to the media when he was still at point A in his journey to understanding the peculiar world of college athletics.
As soon as an educated person with a long history of management was fully informed on college athletics' peculiar time tables, he made a different decision. It was scary for a while because we were used to morons running things, but in the end, having competent people paid off.
August 26th, 2015 at 5:58 PM ^
I haven't seen any reason to diminish Schlissel's judgment. His decisions and statements have been cosistenlty thoughtful and timely. Implying that luck played a major role just seems wrong.
August 26th, 2015 at 5:44 PM ^
Anyone used the Park n Party service for AA golf and outing? Just wondering how that actually works (do you get to choose where you want your spot?). Also does anyone know what time the AA golf and outing spots open for 3:30 kicks?
August 26th, 2015 at 6:04 PM ^
August 26th, 2015 at 5:44 PM ^
August 26th, 2015 at 6:01 PM ^
August 26th, 2015 at 6:07 PM ^
...waiting until later to make a change at AD, when Brian's e-mail post went up in October I said to my wife "I think we just got Jim Harbaugh".
August 26th, 2015 at 8:29 PM ^
That email and Olbermann reading it on his show was the final nail in the coffin.
August 26th, 2015 at 6:08 PM ^
August 26th, 2015 at 6:10 PM ^
This sentence,
Scream that the only aerodynamics that remain relevant in our lives are those that will take us from the top of this building to the street below.
reminded me of the time my sister called home from school to report that she saw a dead body lying on the concrete near Burton Tower. Turns out that the body was former M Regent Sarah Goddard Power. Needless to say, my sister was a little shaken up. Be careful with aerodynamics.
August 26th, 2015 at 7:47 PM ^
and wondered what the sand scattered on the ground was all about... the thought that someone might have jumped actually crossed my mind, although I didn't take it seriously. I believe the Power Center is named for Ms. Power's dad.
Back to your regular programming. GO BLUE!
August 26th, 2015 at 8:10 PM ^
August 26th, 2015 at 6:19 PM ^
Today at Sparrow Market I saw steak and bacon kebobs. That's all they were: alternating hunks of steak and bacon on a stick.
Now tell me kebobs aren't tailgate worthy food.
August 26th, 2015 at 6:39 PM ^
In Ufer's call of Woolfolk's TD run, he mentions that it esclipsed Tom Harmon's run 39 years earlier as the longest in program history. I was a 9 year-old child when Woolfolk broke off that run and I remember the live radio call. That was 36 years ago, nearly the amount of time that passed between Woolfolk's and Harmon's runs.
Growing up, I thought of Harmon as ancient history and Woolfolk as new and exciting. Time is compressing. I am really old!
August 26th, 2015 at 8:15 PM ^
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August 27th, 2015 at 7:53 AM ^
I was there for the Butch "Don't call me Harold" Woolfolk run too, as an 18 y/o, but it was hardly my first game. I started going to games when I was 5 or 6 after we moved to Ann Arbor. From when I was 9 years old until I was in my mid 40's I went to every home game & a few road games. 1st road game at Purdue in '71 to see Dana Coin's last minute game winning Big Ten title clinching kick. I believe that was the only year during the ten year war when the Game didn't decide the championship. Also road games at State, 1-0, Columbus 3-0, ND 1-3 (But the win was Leach > Montana!) & the Rose Bowl 1-3 (But NC game!!!)
It's amazing when I think about all the Michigan football history I've seen!
August 26th, 2015 at 7:12 PM ^
The Illinois football program that Gary Moeller took over in 1977 was not exactly a crater, but pretty much a perennial 5-6 team. But under the hood, the entire UI athletic department was in a great deal of turmoil.
Moeller was replacing Bob Blackman (1971-1976), who won a ton at Dartmouth but had no connections with Illinois, and went 29-36-1 in 6 years. The Illinois AD at the time, Cecile Coleman fired Blackman under pressure from the UI athletic board, and then hired Gary Moeller away from Michigan's staff for the 1977 season.
Two years later while the Illini were having spring practices for 1979 season, AD Cecil Coleman was fired by the Illinois board. The writing was on the wall for Gary Moeller.
It was Illinios Chancellor William Gerberding who had fired AD Cecil Coleman. Illinois was AD-less for most of the 1979 football season. Shortly before taking off to become the new AD at Washington, Gerberding appointed Neale Stoner, a Cal native, as Illinois' new AD in late November 1979.
The first thing Stoner witnessed? Illinois' last home game of the 1979 season against Indiana. At that point the Illini were 1-7-1 and getting destroyed by the Hoosiers 14-45. There were only 30,000 people in the stands.
Stoner shit-canned Moeller and hired pass-happy Cal coach Mike White. Some interesting things about Stoner's use of university funds for his own personal use and Mike White's recruiting of players with questionable qualifications in 1980-1984 are noted here. Illinois was caught cheating for basketball in the 70s and now football in the 80s. Stoner was fired in 1988
This explains some of the West Coast and Big Ten personnel swapping remarks by Bo in the video (Gerberding to Washington, Stoner to Illinois, Mike White to Illinois) and Moeller and Coleman being casualties of the turmoil.
August 26th, 2015 at 8:43 PM ^
You know Bo was mad about the way Moeller was treated by Ilinois. He hung 70 and 69 points against them and in the 1986 game was still passing the ball in the 4th quarter of a blowout.
August 27th, 2015 at 12:24 AM ^
Bo HATED Illinois for firing his friend in favor of a guy who was already known cheater.
August 26th, 2015 at 8:00 PM ^
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August 26th, 2015 at 8:20 PM ^
Gardner doesn't exactly have a high opinion of Borges, does he. My opinion of Borges shifted a bit last year, when it became clear that, at the least, our offense's problems weren't *just* his fault. But that excerpt suggests that the players were frustrated with his playcalling all season, that he had it in him to call plays that were better suited to what the offense did and didn't have (i.e. good skill players, a QB who could run, and a bad OL), and that he was literally the only one (well, presumably Hoke too) who didn't realize that OSU was ready for the final play.
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