Unverified Voracity Kicks Self In Face

Submitted by Brian on February 24th, 2011 at 4:43 PM

Yes, pretty much. Not to dwell on a small monkey on a Caribbean island throwing a banana that turns into a tsunami because of chaos theory and wham(!) there's a coconut in Crisler, but people are saying that Tim Hardaway's facial expression after you know, that, was priceless and perfect and they're right:


W. T. F.
via DetNews and TWB

Yes, yes, free throws, yes free throws. The most shocking stat from the game to me: Michigan rebounded 76% of Wisconsin's misses, which is actually better than their very good season average of 71% (50th nationally). It seemed like Wisconsin had one possession that lasted four minutes.

Dolla dolla bill yo. Michigan is officially one of those teams that has a head coach and then a guy making almost as much as the head coach:

Michigan, according to contract obtained today, will pay Greg Mattison $750K/year with chance to make $900K if the team wins Big Ten title

That's probably triple what any Michigan assistant has ever made and makes me wonder who Michigan could have acquired a couple years back instead of Greg Robinson. A: Damn near anyone. /kicks self in face

Compher fill-in. JT Compher is one of two recent 2013 verbals for the hockey team, but unless you're Jack Johnson it's hard to get a read on how big of a get any particular 15-year-old is. But he might be kind of a big deal if his local paper is to be believed:

"He reminds me of (Vancouver Canucks MVP candidate [ed: ??? - he's 20 points behind two teammates]) Ryan Kesler , who played in the program," said Ryan Resmierski, director of player personnel for the National Team and in charge of all the youngsters in the program.

"He's a good hockey player right now, but we think with our program in Ann Arbor, we can make him an exceptional hockey player. He has a huge upside. First of all, he's an outstanding competitor. He competes every game we've seen him."

[HT: Michigan Hockey Net.]

Compher is currently the only kid on next year's NTDP U17s, getting offered a spot four months before the annual tryout camp held in March. He held early offer-type-substances from Notre Dame, Miami, and BU; there was also some chatter about the guy getting selected in the first round of the OHL draft.

BONUS: His sister is a "talented volleyball player and dancer."

Meanwhile, Michigan's other early commit from the MWEHL, Tyler Motte, has gotten the "Seat Over There" treatment from Yost Built. Motte's averaging over a point per game for Honeybaked and Tim (Not That Tim) dug up this tantalizing quote:

"He's playing like an 18- or 19-year-old, and for a '95 to do that is pretty amazing ... If he plays with Honeybaked, they're going to have the best player in the nation."

That's just one guy's enthusiasm so we don't have quite as much to go on as we do with Compher but it sounds like both are high-end gets.

Usual caveat: even guys with Johnson's hype level come up short when we're projecting so far down the line. Both Luke Moffatt and Tristin Llewellyn were hyped as first round picks when they committed and fell well short of that. (Moffatt went in the seventh round; Llewellyn didn't get drafted at all.)

The new "hard edge". Motivational whatnot ho:


The little text below says "State of Ohio High School Coaches Clinic," if you're wondering why you've never heard that before. So we've come to this, have we? Countdown clocks and quotes on the wall for Michigan State? A team that scrapes over seven wins twice a decade? /kicks self in face*

*[Not a Hoke criticism. Hoke uber alles.]

And then he stage-dove at a Whitney Houston concert. I've met Mike Spath and he's a nice guy but what in the holy hell is this?

Three years earlier, Rich Rodriguez donned a Maize and Blue hockey jersey and took a stab at Score-O – …. The student section roared with delight. That was Rodriguez's way and that didn't make it wrong but his occupation of the spotlight did offend some folks.

Flash-forward (or rewind) to Friday night. Hoke stepped onto the ice from the north entrance wearing jeans and an untucked collared blue shirt. He looked uncomfortable as the patrons rose to their feet just as he appeared a bit out of sorts at a men's basketball game a few weeks ago. Hoke probably would have retreated quickly, disappearing out of sight, but the band broke into a rendition of The Victors and Hoke was soon pumping his fists in unison with the crowd.

That has got to be the dumbest criticism ever leveled. Braves & Birds obliterates it and the thinking behind this, convincingly pointing to the repeated uninspiring, cheap hires the filthy rich Big Ten makes as  a major reason they've fallen behind in the race to not get destroyed 49-7 by Alabama:

Heaven forbid that the highest-paid employee at the University of Michigan, the man up front for the winningest program in college football history actually acknowledges that he is in the spotlight!  Thank goodness that we’ve hired a guy who is going to do his work in front of 110,000 paying customers and millions watching on TV, but is uncomfortable with attention.  This is bound to work out well!

At the same time Dave at Maize 'n' Brew pointlessly deconstructs Rodriguez's recruiting classes in an effort to… do… something. What other than piss people off is unclear.

So now we're positioning Hoke as a socially anxious Fred Flintstone and pretending that Rodriguez wasn't playing Sisyphus on the recruiting trail. I really want Michigan to win but this crap saps my enthusiasm because accompanying the wins will be yet more articles about how Brady Hoke "gets it" that claim "it" to be ineffable qualities like looking sloppy and knowing the fight song instead of having an upperclass quarterback and extant secondary. I'll deal with that should the time come.

I'm sorry if this occasions more eye-rolling from people who just want to leave Rodriguez dead and in the ground. I know I should just let it slide, but I can only take so many stupid things before I blow up. Otherwise I will die.

Etc.: Steven Threet retires due to concussion issues; here's his 58-yarder against Wisconsin. Brabbs profile in AnnArbor.com; The Daily profiles Carl Hagelin. AnnArbor.com also sets a new record for most extraneous words at the beginining of a headline: "Swedish Michigan hockey captain Carl Hagelin finds a second home with Wolverines." That's five. Hot diggity SEO. /kicks self in face



February 24th, 2011 at 6:00 PM ^

Unless it's followed by something like "unless they're cheating their asses off". But any other way it reeks of putting your idealogical feeling (read: "me"), over your team. And really makes me question how much of a fan someone really is.
<br>Because if someone had said "I really want Michigan to win, BUT I hate how Rich does X....", it'd be skewer city.


February 24th, 2011 at 7:58 PM ^

You've got it backwards. The only reason Brian even includes the "I want Michigan to win" clause is because posters like you pounce on anything critical of Hoke's portrayal in the media and / or the manner in which Hoke was hired, because you assume it is criticism of Hoke himself and therefore criticism of the football team and therefore criticism of the University of Michigan and All It Stands For and therefore writer of said critique is NOT A REAL FAN who can't JUST LET IT GO.

If y'all'd stop doing that, Brian could go back to his normal cynical, pessimisstic, mainstream sports media dissing, oh-god-where-is-the-next-dong-punch-coming-from self without feeling the need to defend his fandom with unnecessary "I want Michigan to win but..." statements.

And really, the fact that the media latches onto stupid reasons for praising / criticizing sports figures is part of this blog's raison d'etre and the motivation for posters like the Mathlete and content like the UFRs. Actually, the fact that I'm personally annoyed by the media's unalloyed love for Hoke for all the wrong reasons makes me feel good, because it means that I'm not a hypocrite for railing at similar treatment of Mark Dantonio, Tim Tebow, etc.


February 24th, 2011 at 11:43 PM ^

People react like that not out of nothing, but the track record Brian set himself by doing passive-aggressive shots on inconsequential things rather than legitimate analysis of the flaws in the process. I mean pointing out he's a sloppy tubby guy paid in donuts (multiple times) isn't really a criticism of anything football related, so he's created the need to add disclaimers, not the reader. The fact that much of his drive-by, unrelated criticism comes from things without facts based in evidence (Rich was gone from OSU weekend, Denard will be taking all his snaps under center, we had all these great recruits locked up) isn't really convincing anyone that he truly is more interested in seeing us win more than being able to say "I was right".
<br>And most acknowledge media hypocrisy. Knowing there's nothing you can do about it, and just being grateful that for the moment, where it's very much needed, the pendulum has swung back a bit is just facing reality. Real hypocrisy is saying don't even post Freep stuff, because you know what you're going to get, and saying how tired the "did you know what the media said NOW?!" posts are, but then get all worked up that they're doing what you knew they would again, and getting frustrates by it. Either outrage is good, or not.


February 25th, 2011 at 12:10 AM ^

Your first paragraph would make sense if Brian's "passive-aggressive shots" had never been directed at anyone but Hoke - but that's the sense of humor he has. I suppose GERG, DOOM, Tacopants, and Henri the Otter of Ennui were all unbridled enthusiasm without a hint of implied sarcastic critique?

The bag of donuts comment was implying that Hoke probably would take this job for free (Hoke said he'd walk here for it - same vein, and c'mon, Hoke does look a bit like Fred Flintstone), and sloppy dresser was a hyperbolic critique of the idiot column Brian referenced. Borges himself says Denard will take half his snaps under center, and there will be a lot of "downhill" RB handoffs. Again, Brian exaggerates, but that's part of the schtick.

For jeebus' sake, Brian has run a website called MGOBLOG for the past several years - if you're seriously questioning his fandom, if you truly, honestly believe he or anyone else here wants to see a 3-9 season just to make Hoke look bad, WTF man?


February 25th, 2011 at 1:02 PM ^

for once again pointing out how the guy with over 30k points seems unfamiliar with Brian's writing style and sense of humor. We could read each post as part of a larger body of work, but nah, why do that when it might undermine somebody's preferred "MGoBlog is Anti-Hoke" critique?  How would he generate his next 30k points without that go-to theme?


February 25th, 2011 at 3:12 PM ^

Consist of one person, and everything else nebulous entities. Sure GERG was criticized for things that happened...on the field. Saying a guy has beautiful gray hair isn't exactly the same kind of snark as saying multiple times "he's going to get donuts...because he's FAT, don't you Get It?!?!?!". I don't mind the snark.  But at least have the snark be due to things that appear on the field (like Tacopants), and not over "Whaaaaaa, I was wrong", with made up facts, like "Denard's going to leave for sure now". Oops.

But since you have such a firm grasp on his years of sarcasm, I'm sure you can find the list of things he said to make fun of Rich...you know his accent, his funny way of doing things..all those non-football related things you seem to think he was doing. Oh, wait, that's right, he was decrying that as the worst kind of prejudice, and still railing against that treatment in the papers today.  It wasn't fair then. The articles still bringing it up aren't fair either. But to turn around and do the same thing....really....


February 25th, 2011 at 1:21 AM ^

the comments to this thread.  It confirms at least 2 things;  (i) that any suggestion that Brian might be off base draws a neg of way more than 50%, although that seems to be changing somewhat over time.  Perhaps it is a reflection of Egypt and all; and (ii) the RRod supporters aren't ready to concede.  That's fine, but what I don't get, and what I find disagreeable, is the the disagreement over the coaching change somehow translates into hating on Hoke or worse, hoping that Michigan under Hoke isn't great.  It is not Hoke's fault that he got hired and to hope he fails means that you hope Michigan fails.  That doesn't work for me. 


February 24th, 2011 at 5:36 PM ^

"I really want Michigan to win but this crap saps my enthusiasm..."

Brian, you have some serious fan-issues if something that petty can take away the enjoyment of seeing Michigan suceed on the field. Just get over it. Besides, how can positive press be construed as a bad thing?

Was RR mistreated by the media? Yes. Will he continue to be? Probably. Is it necessary for you to look negatively on the current situation just to defend RR. Absolutely not.


February 24th, 2011 at 5:48 PM ^

Look, I'm not saying that the whole "Michigan Man" thing should be a requirement. I think that is BS just as much as Brian does. But, lets say Hoke does have sucess on the field and the media portrays him to be the savior of UM football and that he gets "it". While it may be BS, its still good press and, as we have seen for the past few years, bad press can really hinder a program.


February 24th, 2011 at 5:53 PM ^

Let me rephrase Brian's sentiment in the way I most agree with: 

"I want Michigan and Brady Hoke to win many, many football games.  I don't want to read one drop of ink suggesting any of that is happening because Brady Hoke installed a stupid countdown clock, and every time I do, a piece of me will die."  



February 24th, 2011 at 8:42 PM ^

I would say that the MSM made me hate Brett Favre, yeah. I didn't like him already but I grew to hate him because of the MSM.

If you can't really ignore what the MSM is saying in sports then I can see how it would affect what you want to happen.

It's clear that the Michigan fanbase became fractured between people who pay very close attention and people slightly to much more casual about their fandom. Brian is obviously of the former, and there are still fresh wounds.


February 24th, 2011 at 7:09 PM ^

The truth is one thing, but when it is dressed up in a false narrative, that can be infuriating to everyone.  RR wasn't a success at UM but any objective metric, but the media protrayed him as a guy who basically dug up Bo just so that he could poop on his head after every game, ignoring the fact that what he started out with was one of the least-talent UM teams in my lifetime.  Now with Hoke, we'll hear about how his divine touch turned a lost team into a decent 9-4, 10-3 outfit, ignoring the fact that he has the reigning B1G offensive POY at QB, a veteran receiving core and linemen, and a defense that actually has some depth.  It's this whitewashing of reality that I'm sure bugs Brian and also bugs me, and will make me cringe every time Jesse Palmer or Mark May spout off about why Hoke is such a better coach than RR.


February 24th, 2011 at 8:01 PM ^

I seriously don't think anyone cares about making a call on who the better coach is. That is except the "Rodriguez was on the brink of greatness" crew.  They are obsessed with defining themselves as smarter than everyone else, and more in tuned with what Michigan needs to be a national power. Or whatever. To them the season is framed conveniently as either Hoke the caretaker and ribbon cutter if we win, or Hoke the .500 coach taking us back to "Old Michigan" if we lose.

Everyone else will probably just take after the new coach. He doesn't care who gets the credit, so why should we?  If Hoke restores a sound competitive defense, eliminates the chronic sloppiness with the football, and gives us back a presentable special teams, he'll get some credit. He'll be doing it with Rich's players and Rich deserves some credit there too. If Denard were the only guy left, he'd still deserve a lot of credit.

But who cares?  

No one here is changing anyone else's mind. That much is certain.


February 25th, 2011 at 1:42 PM ^

Nor do most of my fellow Internet denizens.  The guy who runs this blog, however, writes about and studies Michigan football for a living, and he has analyzed the coaching search and new hire and found them wanting in certain respects.  You can choose to give that some weight, or you can go with the guy who likes the hire because he showed up at Yost with his shirt untucked.  Either way, the whole point of the exercise is to get the better coach, and it would be nice if the media would help to inform us about what goes into that, rather than assaulting us with mind-numbing stupidity.


February 24th, 2011 at 9:57 PM ^

Oh dear Lord please just give me a display of successful execution of the fundamentals of the game and all of this noise will go away.  Fundamentals.  Once we see again what proper execution looks like (and I am optimistically banking on that happening and will be crushed if it doesn't) we will remember what it is like to always be competitive in every game we play.  Fundamentals.  Catching the punted football.  Tackling the runner in the open field.  Filling the proper gap.  Protecting the thing called the football.  Fundamentals, oh how I miss thee.


February 24th, 2011 at 11:56 PM ^

I agree with every single word of this.  It really bothers me that everyone is hailing Hoke as the next coming of Christ right out of the gate (with no actual evidence to support that theory other than that Mattison is an ace recruiter), and everyone crapped on RR right from the get-go and continued to do so for three years.  There is no earthly reason why Hoke shouldn't be able to win at least nine games next year given the talent he has coming back (and let's not forget that Woolfolk and Floyd will be back, shoring up the secondary to some extent).  So Hoke is already amazing because he exists, and will continue to be amazing because he can win with talent already existant.  We won't know how good he actually is as a coach until 2013 or so (recruiting notwithstanding).  But I really wish everyone would tone down the Hokeamania just a little bit... I get that everyone wants UM football to be good, but there's really nothing to support assertions that Hoke = God other than that "he gets it", and "he understands UM traditions", and "he has gimmicky countdown clocks" (and yet everyone mocked GERG's stuffed wolverine-like beast... perhaps not all motivational tools are okay?)


February 24th, 2011 at 5:40 PM ^

 So we've come to this, have we? Countdown clocks and quotes on the wall for Michigan State? A team that scrapes over seven wins twice a decade? /kicks self in face*

Brian, you'd be surprised how much Bo, Mo, and Lloyd emphasized the State game.  


February 24th, 2011 at 6:05 PM ^

The quotes and such aren't. Posting the losing score in the locker room, to have it stare players in the face all year long isn't new. Cute catch phrases aren't new. And by golly, I bet Rich used some too. They're really not to win Gameday. They're motivation for February, June, a hot day in August...reminding one why they're going through all that painful crap.
<br>And when you lose 3 years in a row, it's apparently time for a reminder.


February 24th, 2011 at 7:09 PM ^

Goes all the way to the next game, through the pre-season, till you, you know, beat that team, no, I don't really see a difference. I'm kinda baffled you do. You don't have to have "played the game", but just be around a lockerroom/football facility to see this stuff is pretty much SOP.
<br>I find it funny people make big deals over this stuff calling it cheesy when we'll have 100 post long threads on how people will tailgate the same way, sit on the same spot on their couch, wear the same socks, etc, and they REALLY don't affect the outcome in any way.


February 24th, 2011 at 8:37 PM ^

Posting motivational quotes is SOP......  when you are focusing on the next game on your schedule.  Hanging a clock that countdowns to the 5th game of the season is not SOP.  It's a gimmick that irrelevant teams use to highlight the most important game on their schedule, because they don't have much else to play for.

Hanging the score after a loss in not a gimmick.  It's a reminder that it is a damn embarassment for them to have lost to an inferior team.

And neither have anything to do with superstitions.......


February 25th, 2011 at 4:08 PM ^

in favor of highlighting any in-season game as it seems as if we are setting the bar too low, I am less disgruntled about the OSU clock since it counts down to the last regular season game...... a game that represents one of the biggest rivalries in sports. 

However, counting down to a mid season game against a secondary rival doesn't make any sense to me.  It feels as if we are conceding that we are at a point that winning that game is more important than what we might accomplishment over the complete season.

Yeah, it might have worked out for Dantonio and MSU........ because the above is exactly their mindset - Beat Michigan, everything else is gravy - Hell, it was only 2 years ago where Dantonio refused to root for Michigan to beat OSU even though that result would have put MSU in contention for the outright conference championship.

Show me how my opinion is "patently false."  List all the nationally relevant programs that have countdown clocks......


The Barwis Effect

February 25th, 2011 at 10:31 PM ^

Placing focus on a midseason game is nothing new at Michigan.  When Schembechler was coach, U-M had four red-letter games every year, and MSU was one of them.  Every week in practice, they did something extra that didn't have anything to do with the team they had that week, but something to get them used to a look from either Michigan State or Ohio State.

P.S. OSU has a countdown clock ... they're fairly relevant.


February 24th, 2011 at 5:46 PM ^

You, see, Brian, this how arguments are made by Michigan Men...that being old white guys at the country club. Their idea of factions is Lloyd's table playing Hearts, while Hoke's table plays Spades. They never liked Rodriguez playing DICE AT THE BAR! That was only allowed on Casino Night after 9pm.

Meanwhile, Brandon was that guy you NEVER trusted...

Yinka Double Dare

February 24th, 2011 at 5:50 PM ^

Kesler is 20 points behind Vancouver's top scorers but he's 2nd in the NHL in goals and is one of the best defensive forwards in the league to boot (Selke finalist last season).  Sounds like a reasonable Hart candidate to me. 

Also, he's a damn dirty Buckeye (albeit for only one season).