Unverified Voracity Has A Deal For You

Submitted by Brian on September 18th, 2008 at 10:45 AM

Roh! Though it comes with the promise of headline puns so horrible (Ruh Roh! or something about Rohing your boat, for example) that brains across the Midwest threaten to explode at the mere possibility, AZ DE Craig Roh will commit to a college tonight at 6:30 on ESPNU. If a guy commits on ESPNU, does he make a noise? We're about to find out. Probably the answer is yes.

As for the answer to "where will he go," all I can say is Sam Webb said something along the lines of "I am extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely confident" a couple days ago on WTKA, give or take an "extremely."

The peripherals are certainly encouraging: USC was thought to be the main competition but Roh took an unofficial to Arizona State instead of an official to USC last weekend. Meanwhile, the Trojans got Nick Perry in at the last second, which dims their depth chart's star in Roh's eye. He was scheduled to visit UCLA this weekend before suddenly deciding to decide.

So: probably good news.

You, you with the #38 jersey and diamond top hat. You're never going to believe your friggin' luck. No, seriously. This, my friend, is your lucky day.

Your lucky day.


BAM.  Hey, I know what you're thinking: "a framed photograph of a pretty good but not exactly awe-inspiring kicker, I'd probably shell out at least 40 grand for that."

Well, let me tell you, man, this is your lucky day: just 170 bucks. It's hot, but it's not stolen!

(Via HSR)

Hey, remember when? I don't know what's weirder about this clip provided by a helpful reader: a future vice presidential candidate doing TV sports or Michigan basketball being notable enough to be discussed in Alaska. Relevant section comes after the dog racing:

Please, no politics discussion in the comments, as that only leads to doom.

Oh, Charlie. Classic Weis:

"I think the message I wanted to say to them before we went out of the locker room is, 'Today's the day you make the change,'" Weis said. "I'd like to sit there and take the kudos, but it wasn't me, it was the players."

Please attempt to imagine any other football coach in the world saying that.

Life on the margins sucks, yo. Anyone even vaguely familiar with Dr Saturday's brilliant Life on the Margins series knew that Michigan would figure prominently in this week's edition, and it is so:


Mr Hinton recaps the various pratfalls and sums up:

loss or not, Michigan should come away feeling better about its prospects for the season than it did after either of its first two games. Notre Dame's offense didn't do much when not handed a readymade scoring opportunity, and Michigan's offense, when not dropping the ball on the ground, looked like a functional unit for the first time, with a viable quarterback in Steven Threet and a potential star in Sam McGuffie. And there's no way they lose four fumbles again in a single afternoon.

This echoes the "Fluck" post from Monday; I co-sign except for the "now way they lose four fumbles again" part. Because: seriously.

For posterity. Because I just know there will be snarky newspaper articles going "lol internet" after Michigan ceases its reign of suck, I just want to note this lolmsm piece from the Monroe Evening News:

Well, Rich Rodriguez certainly has lowered the bar. After a 1-2 start, Michigan football fans searching for something are relegated to pointing out that the Wolverines have improved every week.

That's not saying much. Michigan was horrible in its season-opening loss to Utah. It struggled to beat less-than-mediocre Miami (Ohio) last week, a team that is tied for last place in the Mid-American Conference.

Indeed, Miami(Ohio) is tied for last place at 0-0. It goes on from there. It's vastly stupid and knee-jerk and all that. It did not come from the internet. I'm going to collect these.

Meanwhile in Cheeseland. Jonathan Casillas given a DUI after blowing a .15 and draws no suspension. Not that this is surprising since Bret Bielema has shown tremendous reluctance to suspend players for anything short of instigating thermonuclear war, but surely there has to be some Wisconsin-based Sharp ready to proclaim the downfall of western civilization. Actually, no: as of yet there's zero media reaction.

Also, Casillas was on a moped. This is in and of itself hilarious, but two years ago another Wisconsin linebacker, Elijah Hodge, was arrested for stealing a moped. So, like… wow. Mopeds.

It's alive. The Big Ten Network was a money sink last year, but not this year:

Murdoch said that its college sports channel—the Big Ten Network—cost about $83 million to launch. But in the past few months the network has reached distribution deals with most of the major cable operators—it signed deals with Comcast and Time Warner in June and August—and is expected to report a small profit this year.

Now just imagine if they got actual advertisements on the BTN.

Etc.: Zoltan profile on the official site.  (Via MVictors.)



September 18th, 2008 at 12:03 PM ^

Allow me to say that I drank a toast on the day in June when 3Com/Monster officially reverted back to The 'Stick.

Now if we can just get the Giants to let us call AT&T "Mays Field", we'll be set.

Tim Waymen

September 18th, 2008 at 12:09 PM ^

Is Heath Sarah Palin's maiden name?

Update: I'm an idiot.  I thought I was making a joke because the woman's first name was Sarah and she looked like Sarah Palin and I remember seeing somewhere that Palin used to be an anchorwoman. Well, yes it actually is Sarah Heath Palin. 


September 18th, 2008 at 11:39 AM ^

Really? No politics? Not even a little bit? Let's just say I hope someone can dig up some other video of Sarah.  You know...VIDEO.  I just can't abide the thought of Miss Big Hair anywhere outside of as an answer to a trivia question.


September 18th, 2008 at 2:00 PM ^

Regardless of partisanship, I'm sure you'd more like to bang Sarah Palin than any other VP candidate.  Unless you are a non-lesbian girl.  But that would beg the question: why are you reading a football blog?


September 18th, 2008 at 11:41 AM ^

.....those stories as well as TV announcer references to the blogosphere being all over RR.

 Seems to me that most of the blogosphere is pretty low key and understanding about the situation.

But the MSM and the fans who dont read blogs are the ones freaking out. It is kind of an interesting contrast. As an example, I have a dad and brother who never read blogs who feel RR is killing the program. They still want Les.


September 18th, 2008 at 12:41 PM ^

Mgoblue.com spelled "Weis" "Weiss" LOLOLOLOLOLOL:

 "Tom Zbikowski, their returner, got free on a punt return that was
later called back on a Notre Dame penalty," said Zoltan. "He was
heading right at me and I thought, 'I'm about to try and tackle a
Golden Gloves boxer.'  I went for him but I missed and spun out of
bounds, tackling Charlie Weiss. I still remember him looking over me as
he fell."


September 18th, 2008 at 12:53 PM ^

Will always be the colonies of his majesty's crown, if you ask me.

And those that suggest the world isn't flat will ALWAYS be cruising for a bruising from me.


September 18th, 2008 at 12:56 PM ^

Save em up Brian because in 2010 the Wolves as Rich put it, will be back. Then you can post em all and see the reponses. When we start housing teams by 50... yes 50(the way Rich looked on the podium Saturday he was pissed and he will be looking for some good ole fashioned hillbilly coal miner payback) It is going to be sweet as a brand new baby. Please contact Shaq to start writing some lyrics for Rod, because the video is coming.

Hey Big Ten....Tell me how my ass taste??
Hey Hack reporters..Tell me how my ass taste??
Hey Corso.....Tell me how my ass taste??
Hey Little Brother....Tell me how my ass taste??
Hey SEC....Tell me how my ass taste??
Hey Fat Fuck...Tell me how my ass taste??

Line up some SEC Biggies Martin for RR to slap.


September 18th, 2008 at 1:57 PM ^

I love it how in the article the guy rips on RichRod for having a 3-8 record his first year, then states how he went 87-15 after that.  87-15!?  Are you ripping on a man for doing that?  I would take 3 years of 3-8 to then go 87-15.  No one's talking about USC's shitty years right now, are they?  


September 18th, 2008 at 2:11 PM ^

I'm still a bit confused with the level of intentional ignorance and statistical spin Brian is using here to try and convince himself that UM actually outplayed ND.  In a game like that, focusing only on certain stats is just silly.  Come on, you guys know that.  When it becomes 21-0, ND starts playing an entirely different ballgame than UM- don't expect stats to tell the story.

You should just admit to the beatdown and be concentrate on McGuffie- that was your bright spot (Threet too).  And why have I heard no concern about how badly your defensive line was manhandled?

I'm really not here to pull hairs.  I just can't believe the excuse-making that is still going on.  I'm sure Stevie Brown could find some stat that shows how much better he is than Golden Tate.  Anyway, rant over, here's a link that might be worth reading (sorry, it's to an ND blog), even if you then want to explain away the analysis: http://www.herloyalsons.com/blog/2008/09/15/case-closed/


September 18th, 2008 at 2:18 PM ^

It must really bug you that the loss hasn't affected us much at all. I know you want to see the devastation and despair from Michigan fans, but it's not going to happen.


September 18th, 2008 at 2:51 PM ^

You're not hearing concern about the the defensive line getting manhandled because it didn't happen.  When Taylor and Johnson were in the game, they were getting doubled and freeing up LBs to make plays.  Overall, our LB was below average in my opinion which allowed some of the bigger gains on your running plays.  When you tried to single Taylor, he blew up the running plays.  As far as a pass rush, when ND threw anything that wasn't a three step drop, there was a pass rush.  Clasuen made good decisions in these cases and threw the ball away.  Although one did not make it back to the line of scrimmage and could have been called intentional grounding.  Also, Graham was bear hugged on the TD play which did not allow him to get to Clausen.  I think our LB play definately needs to improve, but our DL played well. 


September 18th, 2008 at 3:12 PM ^

Did you really just link a site that refers to Michigan as "Michigan (sucks!)"?

Aside from that here are the conclusion of the blog entry.

"I will not argue that Notre Dame thoroughly outclassed Michigan (sucks!). Many of the key turnovers were unforced."


"This was a very even game, save for 3 key turnovers by the Skunkbears, which turned an even matchup into a blowout."

How is that substantially different from what most Michigan fans are saying? What, exactly, are you looking for and why are you looking here?


September 18th, 2008 at 3:44 PM ^

Dana - you're reading a Michigan football blog, and you're surprised that the discussion following the game is skewed in our favor?  WHAT?  How dare we!  Are all the ND blogs completely unbiased (see: "Michigan (sucks!)")?  This should not be surprising to you Dana, and pointing it out (complaining?) only makes you look like an idiot.  


September 18th, 2008 at 2:33 PM ^

Well I would imagine what they say about fat chicks and mopeds goes double in Wisconsin.


As for the kudos, Charlie was talking about the tangible candy bar Kudos, not the intangible words of praise. He would have liked to take them all, but the players got to them first and all that was left were orange slices and Capri Suns.

M - Flightsci

September 18th, 2008 at 2:40 PM ^

"lots of dogs" - Iditarod headline   lolAlaskamsm

Also: Who here is not convinced Zoltan is responsible for the fall of Communism?  I'm pretty sure I detected a hint of disappointment when he explained that his execution of the Ceausescus was not televised in the U.S.

Alaska Hokie

September 18th, 2008 at 3:46 PM ^

It's not surprising to see Michigan mentioned in a sports story up here. There isn't a single Division I program up here, and 1/3 of all college-bound Alaska high school students go outside of the state for education. That's not to mention all of the transplanted engineers, mining workers, and oil workers that come up. After Washington schools, I'd have to say that there's a lot more Big 10 folks up here than you'd think -- at my office, there's quite a few Florida and Ohio State grads.


September 18th, 2008 at 3:51 PM ^

ND didn't have to "open" the offense much because they were spotted 21 easy points.

It still stands that 1.) ND (because they didn't have to, or whatever) hasn't shown much on offense this year and 2.) ND wasn't playing some soft prevent style defense that gave UM tons of open field and first downs (when not dropping the ball unforced).

As one commenter put it-- Michigan fans aren't worried after the ND-UM game.  This is a rebuilding year.  In rebuilding years, you sometimes see weird crap like 5 unforced fumbles in a game from frosh and inexperienced players.  As an ND fan, you feeling good after the UM-ND game (I mean, about the long term prospects of the season, specifically, as I imagine you of course feel good about any game that ND wins by 18)?  I dunno.  Perhaps you are.  Perhaps you think ND's offense didn't move the ball "because it didn't have to."  Perhaps you think UM moved the ball (with relative ease, um, again, when not dropping it for no reason) only because ND's defense didn't feel the need to stop them.


Whatever it is, we'll see how ND plays "when it has to" on both sides of the ball, because I don't think it has a lot of opponents as inexperienced and generous as the young Wolverines were.  Me?  I saw a rebuilding team with a lot of inexperience make a ton of mistakes, but also answer some questions (do we have any current RBs that have the vision/patience to work in RR's system?  do we have ANY QB on the roster that can consistently hit targets? etc.).  And I saw an ND team that didn't do a whole lot that wasn't handed to them.  Again, maybe they didn't have to.  But we still don't know if they can.


September 18th, 2008 at 7:49 PM ^

I agree with most of that.  I don't think we're an awesome team this year, and I'm not super-jacked about that win (at least as it relates to our longterm sucess).  We're mediocre now, should move up to "good" level by end of season, and will be dangerous next year.  I also don't think UM fans need to be super-worried about the loss.  UM and Rich will be fine even though this will be a tough year.

All I was trying to say was that I saw one team that was clearly better than the other last Saturday.  And the use of handpicked stats alone to try and spin it another way struck me as a bit denial-ish.  Okay, I'll leave it at that!