Unverified Voracity Finds Yee Baby Yee

Submitted by Brian on March 3rd, 2015 at 1:02 PM

Yee baby yee. Jordan Morgan is playing overseas, and has found out that Hardaway and father are chicken spokespersons in Turkey.

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So things are going to go okay for THJ if he ever has to seek asylum in Turkey. People will recognize him and give him succor in the form of chicken for reasons they no longer remember. And then he doesn't have to be on the Knicks anymore!

Speaking of Euro basketball. Hello post incoming?

Depending on who you talk to and when, Wagner's either 6'9" or 6'10" and displays the advanced ball skills typical of euro bigs. He could be a 4 or 5, maybe even a 3 if Michigan rolls a natural 20. Meanwhile check this court out:

That court hosts seventy different sports. Several of them haven't even been invented yet. Also, they emphatically do not call technicals for hanging on the rim in whatever league he's playing.

Beilein visited Wagner in November and Michigan could use a flexible player who could fill in at either of the frontcourt spots. 

And let's check in with the German perspective:

In the first days of pre-season, the heads of coaches full of question marks. Which fragrance brands are the new ones such as the elderly respond? How fit all?

Google translate is getting really good these days.

Flippin. Dang son.

Countess for alumni cheerleader?

It lives. We've addressed Texas's Brandon problem occasionally in this space, usually when referring to the Longhorns' spectacularly tone-deaf, loathsome women's AD Christine Plonsky or branding-means-you-brand true believer Steve Patterson, the AD proper. Patterson has pissed off a lot of people in a manner similar to Michigan's dear departed, though I don't think he's firing off the emails just yet. Chip Brown has talked with the big ballers in Austin and comes back with quotes ominous for Patterson's future:

“It’s clear Steve Patterson is a numbers guy. Well, you can reach all your numbers and have it be a complete failure if you alienate important people along the way,” said one key UT donor who has been left cold by Patterson.

“It’s also how it’s done. This place is too important to too many people for athletics to be run like some cold, bottom-line pro franchise front office. I see a lot of John Mackovic in Patterson. Mackovic tried to tell us how to think and how it was going to be, alienated people, and at the first sight of trouble, he was gone.”

If Charlie Strong doesn't make it, Patterson will be quickly disposed of. Patterson's made the mistake of pissing off the men with money instead of the hoi polloi, who are less easily roused to rebellion.

I wonder why you're failing. I haven't talked much about the local media landscape in a while because we're clearly in the "…and then you win" segment of the process. Teams have their in-house organs, it's difficult to tell some of them from purportedly neutral guys at papers—Vincent Goodwill went from embarrassingly carrying water for Joe Dumars to literally working for the Bulls—and the bleeding has gone from layoffs everywhere to weird infosec campaigns to get guys to resign.

As a result of Goodwill's departure, barely-literate Terry Foster has been thrown back on the Pistons beat. He's taking the idea he should actually work for the paper that's been inexplicably paying him for decades hard:

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He is complaining about an NBA beat that several thousand people in this state would get a tattoo on their forehead for. Jeff Moss has broken a lot of media stories over the past few years and reports that Foster's getting six digits from the News. That's incredible: Foster's contribution there has been the occasional slapdash column his editors have to turn into English. For years.

And they can't just get rid of the guy for some reason. Even if Mitch Albom's contributions to the Free Press consist of Borscht belt jokes so lame his colleagues are calling him out on his terrible columns, at least you can argue that Captain Fun Death Times has a certain cachet with the demographic that still subscribes to a newspaper. Terry Foster? Who does Terry Foster appeal to? Maybe his family, if they haven't read his output in a decade.

A sane organization would have fired Terry Foster years ago.

Gibbons compare and contrast. Rasheed Sulaimon's dismissal from Duke stems from rape allegations that were never followed up on by the alleged victims or the university itself. A  basic timeline:

  • October 2013: student says in a "large group setting" at a diversity retreat that Sulaimon sexually assaulted her.
  • February 2014: at subsequent diversity retreat, a second student asserted the same thing.
  • March 2014: unnamed person affiliated with basketball program (manager? teammate?) brings this information to the team psychologist; from there it goes to the rest of the program.
  • January 2015: intern quits based on finding this out, gets lectured by the designated fireman Duke has, six days later Sulaimon is dismissed for vague failure to live up to program standards.

A couple people have emailed wondering about parallels here. There aren't many. Gibbons was the subject of a complaint that the university evaluated, deciding to expel him. Nobody even went so far as to pursue that remedy at Duke despite the anonymity offered by that process; Duke either put restrictions on Sulaimon that he failed to live up to or panicked and booted him after intern incident made them afraid they were about to have this hit the media. One doesn't reflect on the other.

I can't say much more without running afoul of no polo, but I don't know what the hell a coach is supposed to do in that situation. The only group of people less qualified to adjudicate a sexual assault accusation than university bureaucrats is the coaching fraternity, and with no one pursuing any kind of sanction it seems impossible to boot a guy because some people said some things that no one evaluated.

Michigan's case was much more clear cut, with significant physical evidence addressed by a neutral (or at least an attempt at a neutral) evaluation, and then the subsequent PR incompetence.

It was always such. Analytics has won and is in its hot moment, which means a lot of people who don't know their ass from a properly-deployed regression are prominent. This is more prominent now but nothing new: witness David Berri, PRINCETON(!) economist and crazy person.

Except PRINCETON economist David Berri is not actually that, and apparently never was?

Berri graduated from Nebraska Wesleyan University with a B.A. in economics in 1991, and earned both his M.A. and Ph.D. from Colorado State University. He taught economics at Coe College and California State University-Bakersfield before accepting a position at Southern Utah University in 2008.

No offense to any of those fine institutions, but if this was clear from the start maybe we don't have to deal with the scourge of this guy in the first place. All have the salutary property that anyone hailing from one of their institutions has to actually explain themselves instead of just saying "I'm from PRINCETON."

Etc.: Lawyers talk freshmen ineligibility. Lawyers talk NCAA cartel. FSU fans are not fans of people talkin' 'bout the Noles.

Comments

El Jeffe

March 3rd, 2015 at 1:07 PM ^

Can't believe you ignored this Google Translate gem:

He had graduated from high school after eleven years in the bag.

Sooo many questions...

kehnonymous

March 3rd, 2015 at 1:23 PM ^

....between Terry Foster, Mitch Albom, Drew Sharp, Michael Rosenberg, Mark Snyder, Rob Parker and who-knows-who-else-but-probably-everyone-not-named-Wojo-or-Chengelis, Detroit is to hack sportswriters what Kenya is to long-distance running champions.

I confess to full ignorance about othe cities' mainstream sportswriting rosters, but is there any other city that even *touches* Detroit in terms of top-to-bottom sportswriting incompetence?

teldar

March 3rd, 2015 at 8:52 PM ^

You should read some of them. They ALL write the SAME article. Straight from Ken Holland to their papers/internet sites. There isn't a mainstram writer in Detroit who does anything other than write what the Wings office tells them to. 

bronxblue

March 3rd, 2015 at 2:32 PM ^

I almost never read the sports sections for the NY Post or Daily News except if it is on the floor of the subway and I'm looking down at my shoes, but by all accounts those are full of terrible, reactionary writers.

At this point, if you have a column for a major newspaper you are appealing to the over-50 demographic, at best, so it is going to be filled with people who write 500 words a week and complain about "the kids".

JeepinBen

March 3rd, 2015 at 1:25 PM ^

So many random topics. Do we think TH Sr. sold chicken in Turkey?

That court.... wow. I couldn't even watch the highlights, I was trying to figure out what all the lines are. Although Wagner did shoot a long 2, which everyone hates analytically.

Are Texas's regular fans not annoyed yet? Do they need a few (more) bad years (with the new guy) before going up in arms?

Shop Smart Sho…

March 3rd, 2015 at 1:32 PM ^

"I can't say much more without running afoul of no polo,"
We aren't allowed to talk about polo anymore?  Is that limited to the equestrian version, or does it also include the aquatic version?

"and with no one pursuing any kind of sanction it seems impossible to boot a guy because some people said some things that no one evaluated."

I'm going to go out on the world's largest and strongest limb and suggest that Coach K could have gotten an inquiry started.

 

bronxblue

March 3rd, 2015 at 2:37 PM ^

It's funny, though, that Brian ALWAYS wants to talk about yolo.  Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

You could not pay me enough money to be a college or pro HC.  The hours are brutal, you are constantly dealing with a million outside stresses, you have to compromise some part of your humanity to be great, and every season I'm sure stuff like this happens, many times behind closed doors.  That's the thing - we hear these accusations and obviously wonder why they weren't investigated more intently, but I honestly wonder how many of these claims a coach hears a year that really don't amount to anything.  All the while, you have to balance your player's, the team's, and the victim(s)' interests and protections, while also doing the million other things you have to do in a day.  Just crazy.

hammermw

March 3rd, 2015 at 1:35 PM ^

What's funny, at least to me after reading this, is I found mgoblog through a link in one of Terry Foster's columns about the coaching search in 2007. I believe it was something about Kirk Ferentz. I had to check out the link because I thought it was such a ludicrous idea. So I guess I have Terry Foster to thank for leading me to mgoblog and getting me through some slow workdays over the last 7+ years.

Space Coyote

March 3rd, 2015 at 1:48 PM ^

No offense to Wagner, but just looks goofy playing basketball and does a lot of weird things. I imagine it's what happens when you play a sport with a lot of guys that are clearly not that good, I imagine it's what a top high school badmitton player in the US looks like while playing in a high school tournament. 

lilpenny1316

March 3rd, 2015 at 2:09 PM ^

I produced the 4-7 afternoon show for two years with him and he was excellent.  Everything was sports and rarely got off topic.  The only time I remember us not talking about sports was my "fun" experience seeing UM fans getting knocked out by Sparty goons.

97.1 is trying to sell sports and guy talk and it does not work.  I was driving through Canada for two hours and all Wojo and Jamie talked about was "best man food".  Karsch's partner giggles at boobies and other stupid crap.  And Valenti loves to talk politics.  Doug is the only one on that station I like listening to but I dislike the show.

Sad thing is that they're still better than 105.1.  I stopped listening to that station after they went from prank calling someone to talking to Darren McCarty, because it's like 1997 all over again.

lilpenny1316

March 3rd, 2015 at 3:42 PM ^

I like listening to guys who actually know who's in the farm system.  At least names and positions.  This week, Valenti and Foster didn't know who some of the key players in Grand Rapids were that the Wings refused to trade.  Plus, they talked about a few guys the Wings should trade for that were already traded.  Sad thing is they're better than TMZ Sports (Drew & Marc on 105.1) when I'm driving home.

 

lilpenny1316

March 3rd, 2015 at 2:16 PM ^

References to DSR?  Moss lauding Brian for his napalming the Dave Brandon reign of terror? I like.  Moss may write like someone sharted in his Cheerios, but he's typically an entertaining read.  I share his dislike for most things Detroit sports media.

Autocracy Now

March 3rd, 2015 at 2:55 PM ^

Re Foster: no, you weren't wrestling with a 28,000 pound gorilla. Because the expression is "800 pound gorilla." A lot of people screw this up, but if we expect anyone to get it right, shouldn't we start with people who make over $100k to, you know, fucking write.

kehnonymous

March 3rd, 2015 at 3:22 PM ^

Also re: Mitch Albom -

This is a secondhand anecdote (which is admittedly 'cool story bro' but still a considerable step up from writing about MSU players attending a game they actually didn't), but a friend of mine who I have zero reason to disbelieve worked as a movie usher in West Bloomfield/Birmingham when she was a teen.  According to her, Bill Bonds was a cool guy who let the workers keep the change and Mitch Albom parked in the handicapped spaces.

MGoChippewa

March 3rd, 2015 at 4:45 PM ^

who would get a forehead tattoo for the honor to cover the Pistons on a daily basis, I would like to say: fuck Terry Foster.  His writing sucks, when Valenti isn't on, that show becomes even more horrendous, and to be quite frank, I doubt he follows sports any closer than the most casual of fans.  He's constantly mispronouncing names and making incorrect statements.  I didn't really care for Vincent Goodwill because it always seemed like he was trying to pick a fight on Twitter, but Foster is about as bad as it gets.

RIP Tractor T

March 3rd, 2015 at 4:57 PM ^

I went to the Sports Analytics conference this year and I am counting down the days to when they post the videos of each panel conversation... Stay tuned to learn what one member of the playoff selection committee looked at to determine the nation's top four teams... ITS SO MUCH WORSE THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE.

 

 

umchicago

March 3rd, 2015 at 5:52 PM ^

1. JB please get Wagner.  Great shooter who can also play above the rim.

2. It's difficult to come down hard on Coach K when no charges were filed in either case, as the OP correctly points out.  however, there was a case a few years ago at a basketball program in the mitten state where charges were filed against two perpetrators and actual admissions of wrong-doing where noted in the redacted police transcripts.  yet, those two players went on to play all 4 years with no punishment.  that coach caught zero heat.