Unverified Voracity With Expensive Jacket

Submitted by Brian on November 10th, 2009 at 12:25 PM

Mike Cox is pretty. A reader who's way more familiar with the facial features of fifth-string running backs than even I am was taken aback by a Bivouac newsletter featuring a fellow who appears to be Mike Cox:


Cox's mgoblue mug shot:


That's the same dude, right?

Extremely important CORRECTION: The "death touch" cartoon referenced in the Monday column was not GI Joe but Batman: The Animated Series. A helpful reader provides details:


I believe this was the animated series of Batman. I very clearly remember an episode of this, but I think there was only one real "death touch", which Batman was able to find by feeling up the bad guy's sparring dummy. He then confronts the guy who hits him there!(!). BUT of course Batman is too smart for that and had armored that spot so he wouldn't die, and then pwns the fool.

Craig Flemingloss '07

I now remember this clear as day.  Fools at the Ohio State game are going to get a swift jab that's a one-way ticket to hell. Or they're just going to get poked in the neck. 50-50.

CYA, chanter of CYA. I noticed this during the portion of the Saturday Miami game I didn't spend crossly drinking at home:

I was at the game for about 10 minutes, when after Miami (Ohio)’s first penalty, I participated in what has come to be known as the ‘C-Ya’ chant. …

Like usual, I said the same chant tons of times Friday night with thousands of other fans and nothing happened.

Saturday night, I got kicked out. Not cool, dude.

Two or three others in the immediate vicinity of one cranky usher also got the boot over the course of the game. I didn't see the guy the next section over executing similar justice, so I assume that these are the actions of one guy who's mad as hell and isn't going to take it anymore, not a Yost-wide thrust.

The uneven enforcement is annoying and will do nothing to stem the tide of that chant. That said, Michigan's been trying to erase or ease the cheer since I started attending games at Yost 11 years ago. In the long-long ago, Red Berenson even brought his adorable five-year old grandchild onto the ice to personally plead the student section to stop; no one did. They just added a sarcastic-seeming "we love you, Red" at the end of the thing. I thought that was pretty disgraceful: the only reason Yost is what it is today is Berenson, so if he wants you to stop doing something you should do it no questions asked.

Mostly, the chant's not clever. It's just a string of stuff that gets progressively further over the line every time something gets added. The things that used to get tacked on, like "Wildfong" in honor of a particularly annoying opponent or "Boren" for obvious reasons, are lost to history, replaced with generic swearing. I have been known to curse like a sailor from time to time; this is not mounting a high horse about vulgarity. The CYA chant is boring and embarrassing in the format currently served at Yost. It's not something worth fighting for when Red Berenson, who should be your God, wants it dead.

If the university actually wants traction on this, they should provide a carrot and stick to the entire student section in the form of ticket prices: higher if they continue, lower if they stop. Randomly tossing chickens* out of the game is just going to shame the Daily's editors even more than their humiliating defeat at the hands at a bunch of socially maladjusted engineers from the Every Three Weekly last weekend. It's not going to help, it's going to instill the Fight For Your Right To Party mentality that I saw after the Children of Red incident. The only thing that will work is a naked display of aggression on the part of the university. Either drop it or drop the bomb.


I will admit that I stood out from the other Children of Yost. I may or may not have had a megaphone. And I may or may not have been, ahem, dressed up — if you went to the game, you might have seen a six-foot chicken standing against the glass in section 18.


On a similar topic. I haven't ever heard Berenson tear his team a new orifice like he did in the aftermath of this weekend's pantsing at the hands of Miami. After the Redhawks scored to go up 4-1 on Saturday, the team started gooning at an alarming rate:

"I'm embarrassed," Berenson said. "We played like a bunch of spoiled brats, and we've gotta suck it up. When you're getting beat, you just keep working hard for the team. You don't take it out on the other team and take stupid penalties that are going to hurt your team even further. That's not the way we play hockey, and this team will learn that."

I wonder if this embarrassment extends to Tristin Llewellyn, whose spot on the depth chart opposite Chris Summers on what you assume is the #1 defensive pairing makes no sense to me. Llewellyn has been a dumb penalty factory ever since he arrived and makes a ton of chance-generating defensive mistakes. Putting him on the ice against top lines is asking for it; I don't get Berenson's faith in the guy when Kampfer is available.

On ice, but only metaphorically. Interesting bit from an AnnArbor.com piece on the freshmen getting redshirted:

Michigan has played 10 of 21 true freshmen this year, though linebacker Brandin Hawthorne has not seen the field since September and is in position to get his redshirt back.

…if Michigan has held him out because he is "injured," which I'm betting is the case. Michigan pulled medical redshirts for Adam Patterson, Junior Hemingway, and Kenny Demens last year and only Hemingway had injuries that were known to the public.

Mike Jones and Vlad Emilien continue to play on special teams but not on the defense, frustratingly, though I can understand why Emilien was put on the field given the situation at safety. Anything that can potentially get him ready sooner is more valuable than a hypothetical fifth year given Michigan's situation at the position.

The article also expands upon something Tim touched on in his press conference recap:

Rodriguez singled out cornerback J.T. Turner, safety Thomas Gordon and receivers Jeremy Gallon and Cam Gordon when asked what freshmen currently redshirting have caught his eye. He also said Michigan has "some really talented young offensive lineman" in Taylor Lewan, Quinton Washington and Michael Schofield.

I am terribly pleased that Gordon is one of the guys mentioned, just because of his position and his low recruiting profile. Gallon has a nice two-year gap between himself and Odoms now; if he lives up the recruiting hype Michigan should have a nice one-two punch at slot until Roundtree graduates. And one of the tackles—probably Lewan—stepping forward to claim a starting spot would be… well, probably not great. Next year's line is probably going to be something like Omameh-Schilling-Molk-Barnum-Dorrestein/Huyge, with Barnum potentially replaced by whoever's not the RT if he can't hack it yet. If one of the tackles is breaking through as a redshirt freshman that's probably a negative.

Advertisin' note. The M-Den, which is fantastic in all ways that an entity can be, has a holiday promotion running: orders over $100 come with a ten-dollar gift card.

Vote of confidence. Rote:

"He's not going anyplace," Martin said. "Rich is an outstanding coach. There is no question he's got my total support. I think the world of that guy. Is he perfect in every respect? Nobody is. But he works hard. He'll get it right."

Honey, I'm the AD. In the vein of "Let's FOIA 30-year-old grade records" and "Michigan coaches have loans from a bank the AD founded": Martin's embarrassment that was on all the premium sites yesterday afternoon appears to be shoving past some clueless DPS workers who don't know what the AD looks like. This never happens on sailboats. That's probably why he's retiring.

To me this is more interesting as an information-on-the-internet problem: I got a couple of freaked-out emails because premium sites were dropping dark hints about an "embarrassment" that was about to come out about Bill Martin. That embarrassment is stating "Honey, I'm the AD" and gently pushing someone out of his path. If anyone on the premium sites had just said that, or if the information was not locked behind a paywall and thus subject to wild speculation by people outside of it, the minor panic would not have happened. The perpetual non-information being purveyed on subscriber message boards is annoying both as a recipient and a competitor. My favorite part is when moderators elsewhere say "as we've been telling you for weeks (in one-way ciphered Navajo)" after this site says something newsworthy in explicit detail. You'll note that if this site has information it just tells you what the information is and the context it was received in.

Example! I've received some solid information that suggests Fred Jackson is probably going to move on after the season by his own choice. This should not affect the status of his son's commitment; Jackson's probably going to head to the NFL.

Given my opinion of how important a running backs coach is—not very—I don't think this is a big deal and hope the replacement is one of those young, energetic recruiter types. The first guy who leaps to mind is Ty Wheatley, now on Ron English's staff at EMU. With all the Rodriguez stuff—and the rumors as to where some of it is sourced—that may not be an option.

Etc.: Thanks to BWS I spent 20 minutes yesterday watching some guy play impossible Mario levels. Craig Roh's dad says recruits and their parents have the internet too. Big Ten Tour hits Michigan, runs into a guy who looks like Scott Steiner but says he's Hulk Hogan. Side note: I am 100% sure that I saw Scott Steiner wandering around before a game last year.



November 10th, 2009 at 1:47 PM ^

my new "if I controlled the universe" coaching changes...

Rodriguez - HC/OC/QB (same)
Magee -- OC/RB/TE (what he did at WVU)
Smith - QB (same)
Frey -- OL (same)
New hire -- WR/SR/TE

Robinson -- DC/hybrids (same)
Tall -- DL (same)
New hire -- LB
New hire -- safeties
Gibson -- CBs (reduced role)

New hire -- recruiting coordinator


November 10th, 2009 at 3:44 PM ^

i'd keep hopson but move him to his natural coaching position, DBs. you can then have g-rob coach all of the LBs himself, keep tall at DL coach and put gibby at STs/DB coach. offensively our WRs are too slow and tend to cut off routes. idk that anything can be done about the speed issue but i wouldn't cry over getting a new WRs coach


November 10th, 2009 at 12:48 PM ^

On Friday night, I was at the game and was pulled aside after a C-Ya chant. Apparently this usher is not looking to stop the C-Ya chant but to stop the crowd from yelling "Cock-sucker" at the end of the chant. I was given the warning for my entire section (13) and the usher said he was going to kick the next person who yelled cock-sucker. He was saying the university is cracking down on the chant and would get season tickets revoked. I think he just gave warnings out for the rest of the game but apparently they kicked people out Saturday night.

Bando Calrissian

November 10th, 2009 at 2:05 PM ^

The student section Focus Group meetings they held in (I think) the fall of 2005 focused almost completely on "cocksucker." That's the only word they're particularly offended by. And let me tell you, it's downright hilarious to sit in a conference room at Schembechler Hall eating free pizza and hearing assistant athletic directors like Dr. Mike Stevenson say "C-sucker" over and over and over again.

If the students were to delete "cocksucker," the problem goes away. Guaranteed. The rest of those words are likely to get past censors of network television.


November 10th, 2009 at 12:54 PM ^

Taking a lesson from UEFA's efforts to curb hooliganism and racism:

Tell the student section they have one more chance, if the chant does not cease and desist, any one who received student tickets shall be barred from the next game, refunding their money, but making the team play in front of no students. Keep that section empty, publicize why you're doing it and keep doing it on an every other game level, without refunds, until it ends. I think once would be enough to show that you're serious, but you never know.

Would it kill Yost as a "loud, boisterous" venue? Maybe, but I am not sure.

I shall now take off my cranky old man hat.

Yinka Double Dare

November 10th, 2009 at 1:12 PM ^

I like to think we're a little more clever than the C-Ya chant. Things like "Dirty Hobbit/We Want Frodo" for that OSU player are much more entertaining.

Although I do remember people yelling/chanting "Dumbass!" when some guy named Dumas skated in front of the section. Not clever, but still kinda funny. Reminded me of the scene in Shawshank.


November 10th, 2009 at 1:15 PM ^

couldn't happen. you can't trap a lot of indifferent/less expressive/generally decent student fans into that situation. hell, i used to do the cheer when i was a student but would never let some dbag ruin it for the people next to me who wouldn't. it has to be strict enforcement by security. hire 3-4 other people to stay in that section and pull anyone who does the chant. random profanity should be fine but if yost is going to be serious about it, the WORST thing to do is martyr the student section


November 10th, 2009 at 12:55 PM ^

One thing that UM RB's have consistently done under Jackson is get better at blocking. By Senior year every UM RB of note has been an excellent blocker and many did not start that way. I hope whoever replaces him asks him how he does it and keeps it up.


November 10th, 2009 at 4:14 PM ^


Kyodai Ken, the Ninja who hates Bruce Wayne (see 'Night of the Ninja"), kidnaps the daughter of Sensei Yoru, the martial arts instructor who taught both Kyodai and Bruce. His ransom for her is a scroll that teaches the location of the fabled Death Touch. Bruce Wayne and Alfred travel to Japan to help Yoru regain his daughter. This is particularly dangerous, as Kyodai, having fought both Batman and Bruce, knows that they are the same man because their fighting styles are identical.

Batman rescues Yoru's daughter, but Kyodai manages to get the scroll. He then kidnaps Alfred, and challenges Batman to a duel, the stakes of which are Alfred's life. Batman agrees to meet Kyodai on the slopes of a volcano, and the two fight while the mountain begins to erupt. Kyodai tries the Death Touch on Batman, but to his shock finds that it doesn't work -- Batman has figured out a way to render it ineffectual. A volcanic fissure separates them, and rising lava traps Kyodai. Batman attempts to save him, but the Ninja finds a remnant of honor by refusing to be saved.



November 10th, 2009 at 1:06 PM ^


I for one, am not willing to so easily excuse Martin's behavior. Read the article in full. Twice he pushed people out of his way, the first time getting in the stadium employee's face .

This is bush league, petty crap, and as an alum I expect better behavior from the AD.

Most stadium employees are fans and/or alumni just like you are, and don't deserve to be treated poorly. If you attended the Purdue game you would have noted the fellows who've been working at the stadium for 50, even 60+ years. They shouldn't have to put up with Martin's DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM ? ARRGH!?!!? bullcrap.


November 10th, 2009 at 1:28 PM ^

Quit looking for crosses to nail yourself to. The guy who had Martin "in his face" as you put it wasn't wearing anything identifying him as an attendee. Given the stories of student behavior at Yost who knows what Martin thought this kid was up to? The chick was lightly brushed out of the way. This isn't Ike and Tina here.


November 10th, 2009 at 1:54 PM ^

Actually, the idea that the attendant was not identifiable is Martin's recollection. The accosted employee stated that "Martin became upset and 'used his right hand to forcibly grab Khan's windbreaker and gripped a large portion of Khan's DPS issued uniform windbreaker, the report said. Khan said the person then told him, I am the athletic director, I can go in.' He also said Martin grabbed his identification badge hanging around his neck, saying, "I want to know your name.'"

This doesn't look like someone who didn't know who he was manhandling.

Sounds like a mixture of typical corporate arrogance and overwhelming stress resulting from the current FB team's performance.


November 10th, 2009 at 3:40 PM ^

But Ike and Tina divorced in 1978. For the social science majors amongst us: that was more than 30 years ago*. Do we have an acrimonious and violent and in-the-public-eye relationship in the past three decades we can update this allusion with? I'd hate to think that I'm going to have to explain things like Ike and Tina to my children, which will also require me to explain what "records" were, what "R&B" meant, and how someone could actually overdose on cocaine like Ike**. I'm probably missing an obvious one, but I can't seem to find a more contemporary physically-abusive relationships.

MGoBoard, we can do this.

*I'm one of them: BA in Economics in '07.

**Okay, I'm probably alone in this: but I imagine that the future is going to be AWESOME, meaning that we'll have 1)invented a cure to overdosing on cocaine by the time I have kids, 2)made cocaine widely available, including the local school cafeteria.


November 10th, 2009 at 7:03 PM ^

Sociological question: Is the fact that the three examples we have listed thus far are all African-American couples an indicator of our (the posters') racist leanings or the news media who brings celebrity discord (I can't think of any white celebrity couples in the media spotlight) to our attention?


Feat of Clay

November 10th, 2009 at 1:29 PM ^

At a time when U-M is so serious about security that they're not letting fans take so much as a purse into the stadium, Martin's reaction should have been "I'm glad our employees are taking our security policies seriously" and then sheepishly called one of his lackeys to come vouch for his identity. That's what really chaps me--those people were doing their jobs, and while it's awkward (and even weird) that they didn't recognize him, they were 100% right to ask for his credentials and not just cave at the first bit of bluster.

Security doesn't work if the people doing the enforcement defer the first time anyone puffs out their chest and claims to be someone important.

Feat of Clay

November 10th, 2009 at 10:21 PM ^

Sure, it's unlikely--it would take a lot of balls to claim you're such a person. Which is why I'm now scrapping my tentative plan to talk my way into the OSU game by claiming to be Mary Sue Coleman.

But it's not a good policy to tell your young staff "Okay, everyone must have credentials, unless someone without an ID claims to be someone so important that you judge it preposterous that they'd be faking it."

You don't put your staff in that position. You set a rule and you expect your staff to enforce it consistently, and you back them up when they do. The AD, of all people, should be delighted that it works. And it sounds like he's come around to that view, thankfully, once he's gotten over the annoyance of not being recognized and not getting the deference I am sure he usually (rightfully) gets.


November 10th, 2009 at 2:06 PM ^

Ok, so the article says Bill Martin did this:

"...used his right hand to grab Kahn's windbreaker in the chest and pushed him slightly."

"Martin put his right hand on her left shoulder...he then pushed her on the left just hard enough to guide her out of the way."

Bill Martin is ultimately the security guard's boss. This situation would be equivalent to a security guard for the Red Wings or Tigers not knowing who Mike Ilitch is. If anything, the situation should be more embarrassing for the security guard than it is for Bill Martin.

The connotation of "push" when seen in context of a news headline story instinctively suggests an action more extreme than the action seen in context of the article itself: "pushed him slightly" or "pushed... just hard enough to guide her out of the way."

If then he turned to the security guards in an outrage of "Do you know who I am? Arrgh!?!!?", as you so invented, then it might actually be a story and be embarrassing. Instead you have a nudge. It seems neither petty nor bush league, as you suggest.

This article and Bill Martin's action are simply not newsworthy.


November 10th, 2009 at 2:38 PM ^

He didn't just push him. He grabbed his vest and gave him the "what's your name" routine. When you do that you're implying you're going to try to get that person fired. For what? Doing his job?

Furthermore there is no reason to be pushing people out of the way. Especially not security guards in an era when Joe Average can't even bring in so much as a tiny bag.

Petty and stupid behavior; corporate arrogance. I'm glad it made the news.


November 10th, 2009 at 1:06 PM ^

also fwiw i was almost punted out of a section in yost for the c-sucker portion of the chant and that was in... 2003? 2004 was the Children on Ice performance. I may be off by a year. regardless it puts at least five years of legacy behind attempted punts. i think it's just a stupid chant at this point and needs more appropriate hand gestures and less, you know, HBO language


November 10th, 2009 at 1:09 PM ^

That's an unnecessarily negative view. Steve Hutchinson and Jeff Backus were both redshirt freshmen who, according to the UM Bentley football site, started all twelve games in 1997. If my memory is correct, I seem to recall that the '97 team had a relatively decent year.

In other words, sometimes players play early because they're really good, not merely because everybody they beat out totally sucks. Hutchinson's career in the NFL has been top-level, and Backus, while not a great player with the Lions, has still been able to last in the NFL for a number of years, in itself an achievement.


November 10th, 2009 at 1:11 PM ^

"With all the Rodriguez stuff—and the rumors as to where some of it is sourced—that may not be an option."

Can anyone elaborate on what this 'source' is and what the connection to Tyrone wheatley, for those of us without scout memberships?

los barcos

November 10th, 2009 at 1:15 PM ^

up as someone who would be a little sad to see fred go. whether a rb coach is a glorified position or not, its hard to argue with the abundance of talent we've had at that position under his tutelage.

st barth

November 10th, 2009 at 1:30 PM ^

i'm not an old-fashioned or backward-looking person by any means, but stuff like this makes me further appreciate the pre-internet era when any number of minor incidents simply were not deemed worth reporting. nobody's perfect and even important people like martin occasionally step on toes.

of course, i used to also like sports much better when you simply turned on tv, watched and then (win or loss) turned it off & forgot about it until next week instead of spending the week arguing who should be fired.

on second thought, maybe i am becoming old-fashioned...


November 10th, 2009 at 1:37 PM ^

I also love to swear, and once had a pretty funny reputation for being able to extemporaneously create long strings of vile insults and obscenities without ever repeating myself, but I do realize that yelling "cocksucker" in pretty much any public place will probably get me kicked out or at least some kind of confrontation will happen.

For example:

McDonalds: Hey, cocksucker, can I have fries with that?

Dr's office: Hey, cocksucker, when can I see the fucking doctor?

Or even on the road: C'mon, cocksucker, I wasn't speeding.

Obviously, there is a time and place for everything....

I am in the corner of those who think using the Dukies as their model when finding an appropriate last word for the chant would be a lot more creative and would display a lot more intellect. I haven't been to a hockey game at Yost in years, but I am honestly surprised that it has been allowed to get to this point.

I can remember when something like "fuck you ref," or more likely "ref you suck" after a bad call was edgy. Now, it sounds like it would be just another chant. That is appropriate for our friends in EL, but I would hope Yost would be a little above that standard.

turbo cool

November 10th, 2009 at 2:05 PM ^

yeah that's mike cox. One of the managers at bivouac is friends with all the guys on the team. He is also the owner of a2 shirts which has Jeremy Jackson wearing a 'PRYOR HAS SWINE FLU' t-shirt on their website.