Unverified Voracity Contains Olympic Spoilers

Submitted by Brian on February 17th, 2014 at 2:24 PM

If you're invested in ice dancing outcomes, stop. A couple other bullets to space it out.  We have heaping helpings of OH-LOL to do that.

Detroit doesn't even have an NFL team. I mean, this is just an appalling lack of knowledge about geography, professional sports, and the Ford family.

Ohio State versus something called Middlebury versus Ball State, and the questions are apparently Celebrity Jeopardy level. That's a slap in the face to Ball State.

Final Jeopardy: HOW MANY FEET DO YOU HAVE? JUST LOOK DOWN. COUNT 'EM. IT'S NOT HARD.

Answers:

  • What is feet
  • How are seven
  • -IO

Ain't come here to play spell. On the one hand, I'm actually glad that Marcus Hall can leverage his double-bird flip into cold hard cash. I felt strongly positive about that activity. On the other, they're using the split M logo and can't spell:

I mean, if you're going to make bootleg plaques get 'em right. This isn't 'Nam. Hm.

Actually, bootleg plaque-making might be 'Nam. Carry on.

WhiteDavis_crop_north[1]

Go Blue gold. Ice dancing couple Charlie White and Meryl Davis are Olympic gold medalists:

Congratulations, and may the apparently infinite stream of Michigan ice dancing supremacy continue with the Shibutani siblings.

Now. If I had a late night talk show, I would have White and Davis on and ask them if they could put something together for, oh, I don't know, C&C Music Factory. Some variety of 90s hip hop. Just to see them kill that, too.

My other fantastic idea: Jamaican Ice Dance Team. Imagine the possibility. Shabba. Does anyone need a fantastic idea consultant? Because there's my CV. Boom.

It was all a Saban/Bielema plot. Man, the whole ten-seconds thing did not go over well.

Is this real?" one coach texted shortly after the news broke. "I thought it was a joke. No way that passes."

It's not a joke. But it would compel officials to call delay of game on a team for moving too fast.

"It's crazy," said Texas Tech coach Kliff Kingsbury. "College football is the pinnacle of success right now. How do you even mess with that? It would slow the game down. It wouldn't be as fun for the fans."

"The 10-second rule is like asking basketball to take away the shot clock - Boring!" Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy tweeted Thursday. "It's like asking a blitzing linebacker to raise his hand."

Your cynicism level should ramp up even further once you are informed that this is supposed to be a "no change" year and that you can only propose something if it affects player safety.

The proposal is being billed solely as an issue of player safety, and in fact, because this is a "non-rule change" year for the committee, the only way it can put something forward is if it's a tweak to an existing rule (like targeting) or if there's an athlete safety concern.

It's nice to see actual coaches calling out the Think Of The Children reasoning here. Given the blowback, the chances of this thing passing are approximately zero, you'd think.

Oh, please. As part of their institutional mission to try too hard, OSU played some juvenile crap on their scoreboard before their recent ten-point home defeat. As described:

As expected, the video featured Ohio State guard Evan Turner’s 37-foot game-winning 3-pointer at the buzzer of the 2010 Big Ten quarterfinals. It was included among other great Buckeye moments in a rivalry dating back to 1909.

But then there were some added clips, unrelated to Ohio State. One featured Ohio's 65-60 upset of Michigan in the second round of the 2012 NCAA tournament. That's the Ohio Bobcats, not the Ohio State Buckeyes. Another segment highlighted Chris Webber's infamous timeout call in the waning moments of the 1993 national championship game. …

The video wrapped up with an unflattering picture of a Michigan fan, followed by the words, "Pure Michigan," a nod to the state's tourism slogan.

Beilein was asked about it, said he hadn't seen it, and then said

"I hope Michigan never does that," Beilein said. "I don’t want to ever do things like that."

We've blown some of the high ground there with the chicken dance and the skywriting, but there are still many more levels between pure sin-free Domerdom and trying to dredge up painful moments totally unrelated to you 20 years on and making fun of some innocent dude's appearance. (Especially because glass houses, man. Glass houses.) 

But this pissed some OSU fans off because someone from Michigan adding columns in a spreadsheet pisses them off. So when Bacari Alexander tweeted a generic "we are going to beat you" thing, perpetually aggrieved DJ Byrnes at 11W tried to make a big to do about it. If you can't tell the difference between institutionally-authorized "this guy looks dumb lol" and that, you probably think Detroit is in Wisconsin. I look forward to the next time an OSU crowd sings about not giving a damn about the whole state of Michigan unironically.

Whatever, I guess. A ten million dollar gift has induced Michigan to name their head coaching position after the donors. I continually fail to understand why rich people want their name on stuff. If I was rich I would want, like, Zack Novak's name on stuff. Tom Brady. Denard. Dennis Norfleet. What's so great about you, guy? What did you do that was at all relevant?

If I was AD I'd try to crowdfund these things so I could name things after guys who gave the program something.

Etc.: Urban Meyer apparently got in a recruiting battle with South Carolina. Michigan brought in a monster soccer recruiting class. One of the guys is an Ann Arbor native who was on the U17 team and is bigger than Mark Zuckerberg. Burke/Sullinger BFFs again. Bilas interviewed on payin' guys. Saban attempting to adjust to the new world order of spread offenses. See also: wrong side of history.

Don't expect Mitch back.

Comments

A Real Toe Tapper

February 17th, 2014 at 4:14 PM ^

I get the feeling that Brian has just never heard of it (understandably), but it is a very good school.  I will disclaim that I am a little biased because my wife graduated from there, but the point is no less true.  I did point this out to her as, in all likelihood, the one and only time her alma mater will appear on MGoBlog.  

Farnn

February 17th, 2014 at 2:52 PM ^

Not only the split M logo but also the NFL logo.  And everyone knows how much the NFL hates anyone making money in relation to them if they aren't getting a cut.  Hall should hear from a bunch of lawyers pretty soon.

MaizeAndBlueWahoo

February 17th, 2014 at 2:53 PM ^

Why is it, when coach opinions on the 10-second runoff is mentioned, reaction so often goes thusly:

-- Slowdown coaches like Bielema and Saban like the rule

"lol of course those neanderthals say that"

-- Speed-up coaches like Gundy, Kingsbury, and Briles dislike the rule

"See, coaches are against it. These are highly respectable coaching men and should be listened to."

Whoa, big surprise Texas Tech is against this.  Find a non-basketball-on-grass coach who disagrees with the rule and I'll pay more attention.

wile_e8

February 17th, 2014 at 3:10 PM ^

The problem is that the speed-up coaches aren't playing football the neanderthal way, and it's working. So instead of figuring out how to stop it, the neanderthals are trying to make it illegal, and using "think of the children!" to justify it. That's bullshit, and justifiably being called out as such.

MaizeAndBlueWahoo

February 17th, 2014 at 3:33 PM ^

I'm willing to buy the "think of the children" line, if not completely hook, line, and sinker, at least look longingly at the bait.  I agree with whichever poster said last week that "the defense shouldn't need permission from the offense to sub," and plus if anyone were to really analyze this with a critical eye, I bet they'd find that most plays never get started within 10 seconds of the last whistle anyway.

I certainly was never willing to swallow Brian's absurd idea that a defender can just play possum if he wants to get off the field.  The speed-up coaches also cry foul if they think that's happening, too.

I would finally argue that the speed-up coaches have certainly done their share of rules-lobbying, in realms like protecting their receivers from too much grab-and-clutch.  You could just as easily portray that as "the neanderthal coaches aren't playing the speed-up way, and it's working, so instead of figuring out how to stop it, the speed-ups are trying to make it illegal."

wile_e8

February 17th, 2014 at 4:17 PM ^

  • Why should the offense have to wait for the defense to sub? The defense can have substitutions planned out for right at the whistle, or just have their players in better shape so they don't need to sub in the middle of a drive. It's not like the offenses are cycling fresh players in, because the defense gets an opportunity to sub in those cases.
  • Most don't, but some do, and it shouldn't be a penalty if they do.
  • How is it absurd? If you're hurt, stay on the ground. Clock stops and you get a chance to sub. This works against slow down offense too.
  • As for the rules lobbying, that's a red herring argument. The changes you mention help any type of offense, not just hurry up. And those change you mention were in the NFL and were due to the people in charge looking for more scoring to appease the average NFL fan, not any neanderthal coaches.

MaizeAndBlueWahoo

February 17th, 2014 at 5:46 PM ^

It's absurd because nobody ever looks at a walking-around football player who suddenly goes to the ground as anything but a disgusting faker who belongs in Italian soccer.  And as I said, if it happens, the spread coaches will assume it's fake.

I mean, think about it.  A guy gets up from the pile, takes a couple steps, decides the twinge in his ankle needs a look-see instead of trying to play on it as the offense is lining up quick-like, and sits down.  That's what Brian was encouraging - does anybody honestly think that anyone will believe that he's actually hurting?  I know Brian is talking about legitimate injuries, but nobody will be able to tell the difference between faking and real.  It will look like flopping.  And everyone will wring their hands and say "what should we do about all this flopping in football??"

Why should the offense wait for the defense to sub?  Look at it this way:

-- if the offense wants to sub and the defense doesn't, they can.

-- if the defense wants to sub and the offense doesn't, they can't.

Why is that OK?

mvp

February 17th, 2014 at 10:18 PM ^

In the end, it is just a rule.  Why is a touchdown 6 and not 3?  Or 12?  In one part of the game (the NFL) they have decided that the defense will always have the chance to substitute.

To those that are saying the offense almost never runs a play in less than ten seconds, that's not the point!!  If they run up to the line immediately after the play, the defense has no time to substitute.  Even if the play takes the entire playclock to run, the defense never got a chance to substitute players in or out. 

In the end, running up to the line of scrimmage in a short period of time and using the rest of the playclock to evaluate the defensive package and THEN call your play is a free option.  Options have value.

One can argue that no-huddle offenses are well within the rules, but as this site has pointed out MANY times, by not huddling, the offense gets more information.  The issue at question, then, is if this is something that should be allowed to continue or if is an advantage that should not be allowed to the offense.

The NFL has said it can't start; those who proposed this rule say it should stop.  Others disagree.  I'm not sure, though, why Brian and others think it is such a clear case of being a crazy idea.

skurnie

February 17th, 2014 at 2:55 PM ^

Is a big deal for Michigan soccer. He might only be there one year but should add some much needed creativity to the attack. 

I'd say he's a good bet at making the 2015 U-20 WC team. Tab Ramos likes speed and Selemani is quick.

mGrowOld

February 17th, 2014 at 2:59 PM ^

"The 10-second rule is like asking basketball to take away the shot clock - Boring!" Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy tweeted Thursday. "It's like asking a blitzing linebacker to raise his hand."

Or maybe something as insanely obvious as having two tackles line up on the same side of the formation.

bacon1431

February 17th, 2014 at 3:11 PM ^

I dislike a lot about Brandon. But he has done a great job of hiring coaches in the non revenue sports. Bakich and KBA are good recruiters and look to have their programs heading toward great things and with a class like this, we may be able to say the same of Daley. Hopefully DB makes similarly quality hires when Hutch and Red hang it up. Or if Hoke doesn't work out.

Excelsior

February 17th, 2014 at 3:12 PM ^

The naming rights thing is amazing in how crazy it gets. I got a tour of the Basketball facilities last year, tons of stuff had names on it. There was a room back there where they warmed food up for guests, like a mini-kitchen. It had some dude's name on it. The "so and so food warming room" I think. If I was that rich no way in hell I would name stuff after myself. Seems like a recipe for people coming after you for your money or googling your house to show up and steal something. 

Fifth-Stringer

February 17th, 2014 at 3:13 PM ^

But more importantly crowd-sourcing the naming of positions like head coach is a brilliant idea. Who wouldn't donate to make the Zack Novak Assistant Basketball Coach happen? The Dennis Norfleet Slot WR/Running Back/Returner/Slash Coach?

tubauberalles

February 17th, 2014 at 3:44 PM ^

I'm sure this would be a welcome commitment to the development folks at UM.  All it takes is for someone here on this board to make it happen.  You can probably request a list of naming opportunities, find out what donation level it takes to secure one, then when you have that much money you can turn it over and have them name it whatever the hell you want (as long as it meets their donor recognition standards).

Complaining about it but not showing up with the cash is, as they say, cheap.  The reason those folks have their names on the facilities is because they actually wrote the dang check. 

Last year everyone here was falling over themselves about Stephen Ross's gift to the athletic department.  He of the Stephen M. Ross School of Business...

Endowing chairs, positions, even coach's jobs is not a new thing people.  It's a way for people to give money to support an institution they love and have a good idea how the money is being used.  And then the university can spend elsewhere the money they would have spent on that thing.  Win/win.

 

WolvinLA2

February 17th, 2014 at 4:51 PM ^

Agreed - this is a silly thing to get upset over. People are still just going to call him the "Head Coach" anyway.

And I crack up at Brian saying they should name the position after somebody who actually gave the program something. You mean, like ten million dollars? That's something.

GunnersApe

February 18th, 2014 at 9:17 AM ^

I want the toilet paper holder/dispenser or perhaps the whole stall named after me in one of the visitors locker room.

I want that thing to look like a Tijuana nightmare. I'd also request to have a TP dispenser and that there'd only be enough paper to hang out of it at all times but that it so when they needed some it would rip and be empty. I'd also like for coolers be installed during an OSU game but have all the lids super glued shut.  

Don

February 18th, 2014 at 11:08 AM ^

Eagerly soliciting millions from uber-wealthy people who look like they're out of a "Law & Order" episode so that they can attach their name like a parasitic remora to the same position that Yost, Crisler, and Schembechler occupied is totally fine and not at all humiliating and is a smart exploitation of a business opportunity.

Yet having a mascot is a horrible outrage, a tradition-sodomizing atrocity that will drain the very life, meaning and manly-juices out of Michigan football because tradition.

Don

February 18th, 2014 at 11:17 AM ^

If J. Ira and Nicky Harris had endowed the HC position with $10 million and had named it the "Glenn E. Schembechler Head Football Coach."

All the financial benefits still accrue to the Athletic Dept. and an iconic Michigan coach is honored in a way that's relevant to his role in Michigan football history.

But nope, J. Ira and Nicky Harris—neither of whom have the slightest connection to Michigan athletics in any direct way, get to barnacle their names to the head football coach position in perpetuity.

This decision is simply the blinking neon sign announcing what has already developed over the past several years: Michigan football is now largely by, for, about, and controlled by extremely wealthy people who no more care about the average schmoes who do their bidding than they do about the bugs under their feet.

If you doubt this last inflammatory statement:

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2014/02/i-crashed-a-wall-street-se…

J. Ira Harris is a member in good standing of Kappa Beta Phi.

 

bluebyyou

February 17th, 2014 at 3:33 PM ^

Congrats to our gold medal ice dancers who also won a bronze in the team event...Michigan was mentioned several times when talking about these skaters over the several events they performed at the Olympics.

This is a big deal for the US to win gold in this event.  Never been done before.  These kids are tremendous athletes who train incredibly hard.  I expect they will be honored at halftime at a football game.  

We should be very proud of what they have achieved. The level of excellence exhibited by University of Michigan people in so many diverse disciplines is awesome.

Leaders and Best....yet again,  Go Blue!

gwkrlghl

February 17th, 2014 at 6:10 PM ^

if he really doesn't return. A fairly ho-hum freshman year followed by I Am An All-American Biotch for the tournament then a few injury plagues games and out the door. What do you think of McGary if you're a GM? He showed tremendous potential in the tournament but that's it. You gonna spend a 1st round pick on a guy who was fantastic for a few games that also is struggling with injuries? Tough call.

mvp

February 17th, 2014 at 10:25 PM ^

I hope, hope, hope for nothing but the very best for Mitch.  But you're assuming that if he comes back next season, he'll be well and have a good season.

Heaven forbid, but what if he comes back, all the doctors say he's fine, and he plays one or two really good games before reinjuring the back?  In that case, from a purely financial perspective, he should have gone pro and taken whatever money he could before returning to school to finish his degree.

If he's cleared medically, I think some team would draft him just on potential.  He has size and heart that are hard to coach.

For Mitch is is a terrible situation and I don't envy him the decisions he'll have to make.  Given my 'druthers, I hope he comes back to Michigan, wins the Naismith on the way to a Michigan National Championship, and ends up the first pick of the draft.