Unverified Voracity Contains Epic Mascot

Submitted by Brian on April 18th, 2011 at 3:48 PM

You win. Behold the power of the Michigan internets, as it collectively raised nearly six grand for refugees last week:

1. Michigan 46 5843.83
2. Auburn 45 3,870.21
3. Alabama 14 1991.66
4. UGA 20 1915.21
5. Texas 5 1625.73

Michigan nearly tripled everyone except Auburn. Ohio State chipped in 232.67, Michigan State 126.81, Penn State 48.14. Yes, the Nittany Lions were beat out by Georgetown, Case Western, and NYU on a college football blog—it's the Zack Mills era again. As your reward Orson will produce fawning Michigan content, but thanks to the parsimony of the rest of the league we came up only halfway to the 50k tattoo level. Orson has a special message for everyone, as well:

Dear MGoBlog commentariat.

I would like to thank you, the Michigan fanbase, alums, and assorted daywalking saints of the Great Mitten State, for both your generosity and enthusiasm in taking part in the EDSBS Charity Drive and for helping us raise $25,000 for the cause of refugee resettlement. We at EDSBS are fond of harumphing in the direction of your Michigan Man-ness in the name of gentle mockery, but this one is from the heart to Michigan Men and Women who make the concept so much more than a hollow saying. HARUMPH! from the bottom of our gin-soaked heart, MGoBlog.

We love you, and we thank you. Now that we're all awkwardly emotional, um [XKCD CARTOON OR MUPPETS GO HERE. ]


Orson asked what I'd like to see as he temporarily re-skins EDSBS and I was like "Tim Biakabutuka but we should ask the internet," so throw your ideas for anything below this post.

This Week In "I Forgot About This Draft." I threw a bunch of links in a post with the intent of getting to them later and totally forgot about them, thus robbing you of my opinion on Brady Hoke's contract*, some memories of Vada Murray, one with an embarrassing URL, and Chad Ford saying "a number of NBA scouts($)" believe Darius Morris needs to return to school. Also this, the most Michigan sign ever:

(Via @ChildrenOfYost, @sgtwolverine)

The Michigan Difference is saving refugees while making wikipedia jokes.

*[Why is Hoke's buyout double Rodriguez's? What's the benefit of locking yourself in like that when your man would "walk to Ann Arbor"? Like… in the unlikely event Hoke wins three games the next three years wouldn't you want to move on to the next guy?]

Yes, sir, anything you want me to convert to sir. Buried towards the end of a lengthy profile of 6'6", 330 pound weightlifting champ and OL walk-on Gary Yerden is this biographical tidbit:

Yerden is a Jehovah's Witness….

…one who gets results, no doubt.

Sundry basketball recruiting bits. UMHoops hit up last weekend's Pitt AAU tournament and came back with scouting reports and seven minutes of Glen Robinson III video. (Nick Stauskas was supposed to attend but got sick, leaving Robinson the featured attraction.) The scouting video reveals many, many dunks but not a whole lot of play in a structured halfcourt offense—such is the nature of AAU.

It's apparent that Robinson will instantly be Michigan's best athlete when he arrives. Dude can get up. His shooting is more of a question. He's got a nice-looking stroke but started that tournament with some bricks worthy of Brent Petway. He did warm up late.

As for the class of 2011, Max Preps has put out their final top 100. It features Burke and Brundidge in their usual slots between 60 and 80 (in this edition Brundidge is 62, Burke 80—the usual, one most Michigan fans with an opinion believe is backwards), and then here's a surprise:

100 Max Bielfeldt, PF/C Notre Dame (Peoria, IL) 6-9/230 

That would make Bielfeldt about as big of a prospect as Matt Vogrich, who showed up 100th on Scout's list because he was "the best shooter in the country" but didn't make any other. The Maxpreps list says it is a "composite" based both on high school production and college potential, the former of which helped the ultra-productive Bielfeldt.

So… I'll take a Vogrich-level 6'9" PF. Michigan didn't have a ton of irons in the fire for 2012 anyway and if Morris jets before he's a senior they'll still have an open scholarship for SIM BHULLAR(!).

Notre Dame series not so permanent. Remember when Michigan and Notre Dame agreed to play for 30 straight years? Not so much. We know they're taking a break in 2018 and 2019 and now David Brandon is creating the future in a way that might not include the Irish:

"I have to have seven home games a year. If you think about a nine-game Big Ten schedule, there will be one year I have four home games and one year I have five. In the year that I have four, I have to play every one of my non-conference games at home, so I can't be in a world where I have four Big Ten home games and I'm supposed to play Notre Dame (in South Bend). I can't live in that world. Those are the kinds of issues I have to deal with."

Let's ignore David Brandon speaking like he's the Queen of England for a second: a nine game conference schedule means the ND/OSU/Nebraska home-home-home thing might come to a head. It's possible that Michigan gets their way and won't have to change their ND schedule—the conference has a motivation to protect a rivalry game TV apparently loves because for insane reasons they get 11/12ths of the revenue—but if they do it's doubtful the series continues unless ND is willing to have UM and USC be home or away at the same time. They might since they tend to have another marquee opponent regularly and the Michigan game is important for their TV contract (which they don't have to share).

Ramgod shamgod. Add "mascot" to the list of things associated with OH OL Kyle Dodson that are epic:


I feel molested just looking at that thing. It's a Tom of Finland Thundercat, and it wants to sexy wrestle me.

Etc.: Kenpom adds coaching resumes. Now I don't have to thumb through each page to confirm last year's Michigan D was the best Beilein has fielded in a BCS conference. Zach Travis's spring game post is bullish on caveats before getting into opinions. Forward Thinking on Kaleb Ringer.



April 18th, 2011 at 4:04 PM ^

we've got:

-Lloyd Brady

-Hoke with laser eyes (if this doesn't exist, I comand the internet to create it)

-Denard is dilithium

-Drew Sharp punched a dolphin

-the Law Quad/Union (it gets shown every time Michigan is on TV, so why not?)

-Defensive Back of Death Memorial of 2010 (Never Forget)

-Alan Branch

-one-handed catches

Anything else?


April 18th, 2011 at 4:10 PM ^

I'm pretty sure we need to make Holly say something nice about Charles Woodson.

Also, if the Marcus Ray killing David Boston SI cover could be featured, I think that would be enjoyable.


April 18th, 2011 at 4:13 PM ^

"it wants to sexy wrestle me" should be "it wants to wrestle me sexy."

I kid, I kid! I'm a descriptivist, not a prescriptivist.  But I do like "wrestle me sexy" better.


April 18th, 2011 at 4:51 PM ^

Its too bad the most Michigan sign ever was destroyed by a North Dakota fan right in front of an Usher who stood by and did nothing.  The usher actually called the sign unsportsmanlike and said he didn't see anything wrong with having an older fan walking over, grabbing the sign, and destroying it..



Mi Sooner

April 18th, 2011 at 4:32 PM ^

To the left. We got no love from anyone: the announcers, Barry"Fu" Melrose, the ushers, the hockey least refs, etc.

Still love the first chant that night: racist mascot!


April 18th, 2011 at 7:39 PM ^

Haha good luck on getting more students to the frozen four next year. Next year it'll be in Tampa, a much longer drive than the trip to St. Paul. If we make it I'll be there, but I know it'll be even harder than St. Paul to convince friends to go. Thus, Tampa is a terrible location for the Frozen Four. Just dumb. However, Comsol Energy Center in 2013 will be awesome.


April 18th, 2011 at 4:33 PM ^

I think EDSBS needs more Michigan beating Florida.  Lloyd Carr being carried out on the players' shoulders.  TIm Tebow with turf in his helmet.  Adrian Arrington dominating the young Florida secondary.  A simple reminder that SEC speed < Big Ten speed


April 18th, 2011 at 4:36 PM ^

Lloyd brady pictures are funny but please don't put him on EDSBS.  Instead of biakabutuka "michigan is awesome" (remember?), it says "michigan has goofy a fan that looks like jim carrey" (who cares?).


April 19th, 2011 at 8:13 AM ^

i think that compensation packages are looked at as a whole----for example, there could be situations where the buyout is bigger because the yearly pay is less-----i'm not saying i have any idea what the "average" football coach should make---or even what the "average" michigan football coach should make


April 19th, 2011 at 6:28 PM ^

1) .16 BAC = not that drunk

2) While my intuition tells me that the RR hate, for the most part, = bullshit... there is a part of me that thinks it must be a somewhat-legitimate response to something. Maybe our culture is really that rotten. Or, maybe RR had something genuinely rotten about him that caused the unsettling and ostracization. The truth? Almost always somewhere between the two points.