Unverified Voracity Clicks Yes Over And Over

Submitted by Brian on January 31st, 2013 at 1:41 PM

Basketball highlights ho.

via mgovideo


I vote all of these. A student organization at Illinois is holding a contest to pick a new symbol for the Illini. Whichever one wins will be ignored by the athletic department and consigned to the dustbin of history, and this is a tragedy. A dozen of the entrants would instantly be the best mascot in the universe.

Do you choose Colonel Kernel?


Or Rabid the Squirrel?


Rabid the Squirrel is a possibility for the mascot, but the overall concept is to represent the squirrel, a hardy survivalist being, bravely bears the cold winters, bike and street traffic, and is incredibly quick and graceful. For proof, walk anywhere on campus.

Or The Corn Guy?


The tagline for Corn Guy could be: A corn could be a cute and enthusiastic corn,
who opens his arms and welcomes smart students all over the world. Or a corn could
be a fighting corn, who, in orange skin and blue armor, revealing his muscle, with
fierce look, shows his vigor and is ready for an exciting game. This, is the Corn Guy.
Thank you.

Or werewolves?


You want something fierce? You want something amazing? You got it all right here. Super strong, super vicious, super I-will-wreck-everything- you-love. Ain't no one wanna mess with this. What, you expecting something cute and fuzzy like a squirrel or a PIECE OF CORN? HELL NO.




It matters not. You cannot go wrong. I vote for them all.


It is the state of Illinois with an Abe Lincoln hat with boxing gloves. Tough, Historic and blatantly Illinois. Hope you like it

I vote for them all.

K-State might be Michigan's best nonconference foe. NC State beat Duke and UNC, sure. Since they've lost to Wake Forest, Maryland, and Virginia. UVA is at least a bubble team; the other two aren't sniffing the tourney. Kansas State on the other hand just did this to Texas:

I got home, made some dinner, and kicked back to relax and watch the Texas game. It was not relaxing. I would have been better off waking up this morning, smashing a few glass bottles on my kitchen floor, opening a can of paint stripper, pouring it on the broken glass, rolling around in the mix of shards and methylene chloride, taking a shower, and calling it a day.

BM6[1]While Texas is real bad this year, Kenpom has them significantly above Wake Forest and the Wildcats beat the Longhorns raw—final was 83-57. They kept it close in their two league losses and are probably going to have 24, 25 wins by Selection Sunday.

I wish I had thought about this. The Hoover Street Rag introduces the Borges-O-Meter, which ranks Al on a Jorge Luis-based scale ranging from Tlön, Uqbar, Orbus Tertius to The Gospel According to Mark. As you can see, Al is currently hanging out at The Lottery Of Bablyon, level six. I would actually swap level six (dubbed "fortunate") with level 5 (On Exactitude in Science, categorized as "precise"). In all other ways this is wonderful.

Yeah, I suppose Cal or Stanford fans probably would have done this, but whatever, they didn't because of a historical quirk that directed Borges (Al Edition) to Michigan instead of their schools.

Viva this fanbase.

[update: now with link!]

Viva this team. Mitch McGary on starting:

Late Tuesday night, an undecided Beilein asked McGary, "What do you feel about tomorrow? I don't know what to do yet. You both practiced well."

McGary responded, "Coach, I've been coming off the bench for two years. I'm cool with coming off the bench."

I'm not sure there's anything we thought McGary would do when he was the #2 recruit in the country that he's not doing despite a massive nose-dive in expectations late.

This is appropriate. Hockey picked up a big, late-blooming defenseman currently plying his trade in the BCHL named Kevin Lohan. As Yost Built mentions, yes, that Lohan: he's a cousin of Lindsay, who may be the spirit totem for this year's outfit. It is possible the third jersey does not display a badly-drawn weasel but is in fact a representation of Linsday Lohan on a bender.

Right now Lohan is insurance against potential departures from Bennett, Trouba, and/or Merrill and may or may not come in next year.

Yost Built also mentions that Mike Spath is reporting that Michigan will use the scholarship money freed by Daniel Milne's departure to go hunting for a goalie, apparently overseas.

Etc.: The Northwestern view of last night. Also found here. First comment: "Trey Burke is good. Holy shit." Burke is about to pass Darius Morris on Michigan's all-time assist list and has Morris's season record for assists squarely in sight. Men's gymnast Syque Caesar sets an NCAA record on the parallel bars. Nieves profiled by the Daily. 7-on-7 leagues examined. Five key plays from NW.


kevin holt

January 31st, 2013 at 8:34 PM ^

I really didn't mind Tlon, to be honest. I don't think it should be the bottom.

Then again, it's all pretty damn good so I guess even the worst must be good right? Anyone who knows spanish should read that stuff. Or at least Wikipedia it.


February 1st, 2013 at 11:49 AM ^

Tlon, Uqbar, Orbus Tertius (Level 10) is at the top of the scale. It's for "otherworldly" awesome moments such as your favorite moment from the fourth quarter of Notre Dame UTL.

Gospel According to Mark is at the bottom of the scale for complete and utter disasters. Example: @Nebraska after Denard went down.

The order of the stories in the Borges-O-Meter is not correlated with my opinion of their quality as stories, The Library of Babel is much better than Level 3 as a story, but that's where it fits in best on the B-O-M.

Maison Bleue

January 31st, 2013 at 3:00 PM ^

NC State beat Duke and UNC, sure. Since they've lost to Wake Forest, Maryland, and Virginia. UVA is at least a bubble team; the other two aren't sniffing the tourney.

I disagree, Maryland is 15-6 right now, they are definitely bubbling and are at the very least sniffing the tourney.

Leaders And Best

January 31st, 2013 at 3:57 PM ^

After Brown left the game, NC State tanked against UVa and probably was the reason they lost the game. NC State now either has to play Purvis out of position at the point or turn the the reins over to Hobbit Backup PG Tyler Lewis if Brown can't go against Miami this weekend. I am rooting for the latter situation just to see Brian's MCHOBBIT update in Opponent Watch next week after MCHOBBIT has to go head to head against Shane Larkin.


The WF loss was bad, but I think they would have beaten UVa if Brown was healthy as they were up 5-10 pts when he went down. I don't know if you will be able to accurately assess how good NC State is until Brown comes back.


January 31st, 2013 at 5:14 PM ^

I'm partial to the Illini Kraken(s).  I'm unsure if there would be one, or a flock of krakens.  What are a group of krakens called?  Flock sounds ... incorrect.

There was a really good Abraham Lincoln one, would be really interesting, but "Illinois Abes" doesn't really flow as good as Illini.


January 31st, 2013 at 8:39 PM ^

I have always wondered what a werewolverine would look like. I bet it would literally eat a werewolf for breakfast.

Werewolverine 1 "what do you want for breakfast?"

Werewolverine 2 "We got any of that werewolf left over from last night?"