Unverified Voracity Braces for Rawk

Submitted by Brian on September 29th, 2011 at 12:50 PM

They are coming. Hide the mascara. I'm still waiting for the last few survey responses to roll in but, man, people hate In The Big House. This may be an effect of this blog's readership but with the vast bulk of the responses coming from the 22-34 range I'm guessing the results would not be good amongst the much older general population.

So, like, what to do about this?


That is a show at the Blind Pig the day before the Nebraska game in November. If this is a prelude to these guys showing up inside Michigan Stadium I think my head might explode. The only consolation would the groomers getting an Ashlee Simpson reception.

HIRE THESE PEOPLE NOW. So. We have the dog groomers above inflicting their terrible garbage on Michigan Stadium, and then there's Minnesota. Land of misery and no money and people who know what they're doing when it comes to internet videos that transcend irony. Go ahead, watch this with your jaundiced eye. You'll give up your cynicism about 30 seconds in when Goldy Gopher spins his head 360 degrees:

So… I'm just saying… we should fire the entire marketing department and replace them with whoever did that. This is in no way a joke.

GODDAMMIT AGE OF IRONY. I can't even say "this is in no way a joke" without it seeming like an ironic joke. It is not.

Good times. News that the God Hates Figs lunatics will be picketing Ohio State brings back nostalgia for that one time when I was an undergraduate and they hit up Michigan for some fake outrage or another. Tactical error: holding up "M = figs" signs while wearing Kansas City Chiefs jackets. At the time, KC's quarterback was Elvis Grbac and #1 WR Derrick Alexander. A fig to fig connection, as it were, which we loudly let them know about.

Unfortunately for OSU fans, the only Buckeye on the Chiefs' roster is backup DB Donald Washington, so they'll have to come up with something else. Just pretend they're Michigan fans and you'll do fine.

Speaking of. This popped up on the tubes recently. It is an anti-anti-gay PSA that you, the wine-and-cheese-consuming Michigan fan, will be hectored with at some point in the near future:

So that's settled then. No one is ever going to say something inappropriate again. This is all your fault, double-bird guy.

Hey, good point. Taylor Lewan hasn't had a false start/holding meltdown yet, so that's cool:

This year, that has been a point of emphasis. The result?

Zero penalties through four games.

"I'm due, aren't I?" Lewan said, laughing. "I've definitely noticed that. I've been very cautious about penalties. I'm not ever going to let up, just got to be smart. Got to be a smarter player."

What's more, Lewan hasn't even been close to a holding penalty that I've seen. He's been a dominant run blocker and hasn't picked up a pass minus. He's a third of the way to All Big Ten.

You have a Nard dog? Wait, what?

That's our Nard Dog. Thomas Nardo, Iowa's newfound starter at defensive tackle and owner of the porn-iest name in the starting lineup with Shane DiBona on the sidelines, was named the Big Ten's Defensive Player of the Week for his efforts against Louisiana-Monroe on Saturday.  Nardo had himself a pretty monster day for a defensive tackle: 12 tackles, 2.0 TFL, and 0.5 sacks.  He doesn't do much to help our problems keeping contain on the outside, but he's exactly the sort of plugger we need to keep from getting gashed up the middle.

This aggression will not stand, Iowa. There can only be one Nard Dog. Shotguns at noon on November fifth to settle it.

More relevantly: this Nardo kid is a fifth-year senior walk-on (sounds familiar) who "won't make anyone forget" a half-dozen Iowa DTs of the recent past but is offering "solidity to an Iowa defensive line that was looking woefully porous earlier in the year." Which… whoah. Iowa suddenly has Michigan's defensive personnel?

Apparently they also have a bomber already on par with Stanzi, so don't chalk that win up just yet. Not that any Michigan fan is chalking up a win against a Big Ten team not named Minnesota.

Stick, baby. Fresh hockey commitment Jacob Trouba is a big deal, like top-half-of-the-first round big deal, and unfortunately these days that means his commitment will be questioned until he shows up on campus. He's even been drafted by one of the more convincing OHL programs, and by "more convincing" I mean "freer with under the table payments."

Anyway. Through no fault of his own, Trouba has the profile of a flight risk. Therefore he gets to answer questions about it whenever he's interviewed. An example:

I asked if Michigan fans have a reason to feel confident that they would see him wearing Maize and Blue next year.

"Yeah they do, I'm a Michigan Wolverine," he stated, "That's why I wanted to wait this long; just so I knew, I didn't want my mind to change over a year and I really wanted to know what I wanted to do next year. I wanted to wait because I didn't want to back out on any decisions, I wanted to stick with my word. I waited until I was sure with what I wanted to do."

Example two. Example three.

Prominent CHL defections usually occur because the player in question is tired of cooling his heels in a lesser league, especially Canadian Junior B. (FWIW, AHL equivalencies imply the USHL is not much worse than the CHL, if it is at all anymore.) Once a kid is locked into his final year before he'd be in college he's usually set. John Gibson is a prominent exception to that, but he was staring down a platoon (at best) with Tiny Jesus. Trouba has no such concerns since he'll probably slot right into the top pairing a la Merrill, and he's got no reason to make a college commitment after he's already been drafted by one of the league's Lane Kiffins.

So… I don't think he'll bolt. If he sticks he makes Michigan's 2012 class pretty impressive. F Boo Nieves is frequently projected as a late first-rounder. D Michael Downing was the third pick of the USHL Futures Draft and was the captain of the U17 5 Nations team. D Connor Carrick is on the NTDP and Michigan took him pretty early. Still need a goalie. Who wants to play behind Trouba? Bueller?

BONUS: While w'ere talking hockey, Michigan Hockey Net and local MGoUser Yesman221 have season previews. (Yesman is a a bit conservative with freshman deployment, FWIW.) There won't be one forthcoming from me due to football season, but Ace might have an official one.

Full cost, sort of. It sounds like the NCAA will bump scholarship awards:

A committee weighing a number of potential changes is expected to recommend that the value of individual scholarships be raised by as much as $2,000 in the top-tier Division I, moving them closer to covering the athletes' full cost of attending school. Full grants currently cover only room, board, books and tuition.

The proposal covers the gap between "full cost of attendance" and the current scholarships as long as that is less than 2k. A step in the right direction. There's also a push to allow multi-year scholarship awards, except it's apparently a push to better market the current system:

Multi-year scholarships also are seen as an athlete-welfare issue, and Swarbrick said his committee favors that proposal even though it might not bring athletes the security many expect.

"The process for nonrenewal of an annual grant probably would look just like the process for terminating a four-year grant," he told ADs. "… But we did think the statement that would be made about our commitment to student-athletes was worth doing and made this a change worth pursuing."

So… he'd like to make a statement about committing to student athletes without actually committing to student athletes. The NCAA has always been at war with the English language.

Etc.: Why Wisconsin is a parasite. Via EDSBS, Les Miles's head on wrestler's bodies. The Octonion dissolves. Hipsters and Denard Robinson.



September 29th, 2011 at 1:10 PM ^

watching the game on TV, some time in the first quarter they showed him and i think he tried to get the fingers up, but couldn't for some reason and then looked around all clueless. you could tell something was up with him and then they showed him again and he double middle fingered it and then, inexplicably, they kept showing him throughout the game.



September 29th, 2011 at 1:17 PM ^

I just went to iTunes, and it has a 5 star rating from 219 people... only one negative comment, and that clearly from an mgoblog member... who are these people? I can see being neutral about In The Big House, but loving it?


September 29th, 2011 at 1:29 PM ^

That's where I'm at. I like it as a pump-up song for a tailgate or whatever. That said, it should never ever be played in the stadium. The lyrics are trite and meaningless (Hail to the Maize Rage? Tradition?). Buzz words. Any M fan could write a similar / much better song. I feel like it was only written to make a quick buck off of the huge M fanbase.


September 29th, 2011 at 1:57 PM ^

I wouldn't be too concerned with the number of people who like them.  Let's put it this way...folks won't be waiting in a long line to watch them play live.  At the height of their "popularity" (before any new "fame" upon being adopted by Brandon), they could only sell about 100 tickets to a top Detroit venue.  You never heard about them before because they (as we all know) suck most terribly.


September 29th, 2011 at 1:11 PM ^

The line from Braves and Birds, 'If everyone scheduled like Wisconsin, no one would ever watch a team that wasn't their own play in September,' is so right on.

Alverez is such a slug.


September 29th, 2011 at 2:21 PM ^

Yeah, he is, and Beilema is douche.  But man, they have figured it out.  They can schedule and steamroll the worst BCS non-conference schedule, but it really doesn't matter.  They are healthy, and haven't showed their hand to conference opponents.  Now they have Gameday coming to Madison for a nationally broadcast primetime game which they can show all the recruits.  They will rack up wins through their crap team scheduling, and really wins and a box score are what matters most in the BCS.  Plus they give themselves a headstart toward an undefeated season.  I cannot respect that, but they are playing the system perfectly


September 29th, 2011 at 1:12 PM ^

While I agree with the message of the "anti queer" usage video - that has got to be one of the most funny ways to spread that message.  Well done whoever came up with that idea.


As someone whose played their fair share of pick up football games, that bad word yelling yellow squad youngin seems a little excited for a friendly pick up game.  Just sayin


"oh hell no"


September 29th, 2011 at 1:13 PM ^

I hated Pop Evil at first. Then the night game happened. And now I realize that being a grumpy old man at 22 years old would be a waste of my life. THE FUTURE IS NOT AS BLEAK AS YOU THINK BRIAN WE'LL ALL SURVIVE

El Jeffe

September 29th, 2011 at 1:24 PM ^

Only a person truly steeped in fin de siecle ironic detachment would claim that saying something is not an ironic joke is not an ironic joke when it so obviously is.



September 29th, 2011 at 1:26 PM ^

I wish the gray-hairs in my section would read what you wrote about Lewan. He could drive his man to the sideline and they would yell at him for being out of position. They are legitimately surprised every time he makes a good play. Unfortunately they won't believe he is as good as he is until he is three time All-B1G. At which case they will pride themselves on how they always knew he was going to be great. Maybe its time for new seats.


September 29th, 2011 at 1:46 PM ^

Gets me the priviledge to be told I'm a homophobe, and watch it. Maybe it should be done outside the Stadium, since it sounds like there will be some people who need to hear it. (Though really, do these things ever do any good, and change anyone's mind? "Oh, I don't want to get hit by a football in the head, I'll stop being a bigot")


September 29th, 2011 at 2:44 PM ^

Your $70 gets you the right to be in the stadium and at one particular seat during the football game. That's pretty much it.

As to your other point, I think the first step to change is realizing what constitutes bigotry and what is unacceptable behavior. This realization and subsequent change will only happen through communication. I'm fine with UM saying these words and these attitudes are not acceptable at Michigan. Ufortunately, much of society does not agree yet.


September 29th, 2011 at 4:04 PM ^

By now, we all agree that things like drunk driving and racism (except maybe the SEC) are bad things. Sadly, unfortunately, not everyone realizes that homophobia and anti-gay slurs are a bad thing yet. The whole point of a PSA is to tell as many people as possible that society is changing, and we want everyone to change with it. Sometimes you need those forms of public encouragement and pressure, even if it makes some of us roll our eyes.


September 30th, 2011 at 1:21 AM ^

I also think it a bit ridiculous. When are they going to have PSA's on not portraying white, Christian, males as bigoted? We see this sort of bigotry all the time yet nary a person speaks up on it.
<br>Frankly, are country has infinitely more pressing societal issues than the use of slurs. Our homicide rate is obscene. 16,500 Americans die each year from an act of violence. Why no PSA on that?


September 30th, 2011 at 11:34 AM ^


Nobody thinks murdering someone else is permissable in our society, even the people that actually murder others. That's why they hide and plead not-guilty. Airing ads saying "Don't stab a random person on the streets" or "You don't HAVE to strangle them after you rape them" are likely falling on deaf ears.

There are plenty of people who don't see the harm in the use of a word.


September 29th, 2011 at 8:41 PM ^

I am surprised that they choose to air this particular PSA at an event where thousands of people watch large, athletic men in tight pants smash into each other. Might be preaching to the choir, so to speak, amirite??