Unverified Voracity Blames It On The Autotune

Submitted by Brian on July 29th, 2009 at 4:02 PM

This is what genius looks like. Prompted by Rich Rodriguez's tete-a-tete with Jamie Foxx, Orson gets parodic and LSUFreek drops this mindblowing gif:

Blame_it_on_the_Henne

It will take some time to load. You should wait. It references this. You should read the original post.

While we're making it rain. Michigan checks in #4 in overall athletic department lucre. The top ten:

Rank School Total Revenue Conference
1st Texas $120,288,370 Big 12
2nd Ohio State $117,953,712 Big Ten
3rd Florida $106,030,895 Southeastern Conference
4th Michigan $99,027,105 Big Ten
5th Wisconsin $93,452,334 Big Ten
6th Penn State $91,570,233 Big Ten
7th Auburn $89,305,326 Southeastern Conference
8th Alabama $88,869,810 Southeastern Conference
9th Tennessee $88,719,798 Southeastern Conference
10th Oklahoma State $88,554,438 Big 12

Texas and Ohio State continue their runaway status as 1-2. Texas's spot at the top of the list is pretty obvious since, IIRC, the Big 12's television revenue is extremely unbalanced and Texas, as the flagship school not located in a tiny state where the only thing to buy is John Deere equipment, is the major beneficiary of the current system.

But I've always been curious where the Ohio State revenue gap comes from. The Big Ten splits all TV and bowl revenue right down the middle, so the only differences can come in stadium gates and sheer sport quantity. (For instance: I'm guessing the Michigan hockey team rakes in most of the difference between Michigan and Penn State by itself.) Ohio State does support a huge number of sports, but I don't think the crew teams or whatever at the tail end of OSU's athletic department bring in a million between them, let alone 18. And Ohio State's stadium is considerably smaller than Michigan Stadium.

OSU's visual cacophony of in-stadium advertising is no doubt part of the gap. The rest of it is probably luxury boxes and primo seating; I'll be interested to see what the numbers look like in two years when Michigan's suite spigot is turned on.

If you're curious as to the per-school average for BCS conferences:

  1. Big Ten: $76.4 million
  2. SEC: $71.1 million
  3. Big 12: $66.5 million
  4. Pac-10: $58.7 million
  5. ACC: $54.1 million
  6. Big East (football schools only): $45.5 million

Someone hide this from Clay Travis*: even when the SEC nuclear bomb contract goes into effect—which adds 60 million-ish per year—the Big Ten teams will still be ahead on total revenue. Not that this will stop the avalanche of OMG SEC FINANCIAL DOMINATION stories.

*(Who has a wikipedia page? WTF?)

Fire this woman immediately. Here's Pat Forde on something called "First Take." As it is on ESPN, it contains no information, but holy hotpants you might want to watch through the Michigan segment, which is right after the ND opener:

I quote this woman now.  I quote her:

"They want to get the 'woof, woof' back at the Dawg Pound, back at the Wolverine house, the Big House."

LADY DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A DOG TO YOU?

wolverine

SERIOUSLY. ARE YOU UNDER THE IMPRESSION THIS IS A DOG?

Hey, guess what sort of values we're talking about. Got it in zero. Good job. Mark Ortmann on the offensive line departures:

"They're leaving for all the wrong reasons," Ortmann said of the Wolverine quitters from the interior line. "They're making false accusations. I got along with Boren, (Grand Haven's Dann) O'Neill and Kurt. But I don't understand where they're coming from.

"The family values at Michigan are there. That's not a question in anyone's mind. So for them to come out and make those accusations is not fair to anyone."

I don't think did O'Neill said anything other than "I'm a better fit at Western," but take that you other guys. Take that.

Etc.: Kirk Ferentz likes the idea of playing 13 games. What about the children, Kirk? Maize 'n' Brew hit up Big Ten Media Days, too. Talkin' with Ortmann and Brown.

Comments

Erik_in_Dayton

July 29th, 2009 at 4:17 PM ^

That's even worse than when U of M occasionally gets called "the wolves." At least that is an understandable, if inaccurate and annoying, short hand...I can only assume that she later said that OSU is counting on having a big advantage at home in The Jungle this year.

Big Boutros

July 29th, 2009 at 4:22 PM ^

Yeah, uh, 1. Not a fucking dog and 2. Fix your syntax you mouth-breather. You are paid to speak on television. "They, uh, want, uh, to get the woof woof back at the, uh, Dawg Pound, back at the, uh, Wolverine House, uh, Big House." Just spit it out no matter how fucking stupid it is.

teldar

July 30th, 2009 at 8:18 AM ^

They make up for the smaller stadium by charging almost $10 more per ticket.
Tickets for M games are about $50, yes? OSU tickets are $60. So they're pulling in over $6M gross per home game on ticket revenues while M is only pulling in $5.5M. Approximately. And that doesn't include luxury suites.

SO....
If M were a bunch of even more greedy bastards (like osu), they could pull in closer to $7M per home game.

casmooth

July 30th, 2009 at 11:53 AM ^

OSU also recently signed a larger deal than UofM did with IMG, which handles a lot of the corporate sponsoring. OSU also advertises inside their stadium with IMG, so that is another area they are banking.

matty blue

July 29th, 2009 at 4:36 PM ^

i had one eye on sportscenter this morning, and the "dawg" woman was doing some morning-after baseball stuff.

my 14-year-old daughter - who has no interest in sports whatsoever (to my discredit, i know) - said "that girl has no idea what she's talking about, does she dad?" no, honey. no, she doesn't.

out of the mouths of babes, etc.

Tater

July 29th, 2009 at 4:42 PM ^

Just when I thought ESPN couldn't find anyone as vacuous as Forde, they proved me wrong. Is one of ESPN's new requirements for talking heads a vaccination with a double-shot of mercury in childhood?

First Take should really let Dana Jacobsen handle the UM stories from here on out.

TomW09

July 30th, 2009 at 10:29 AM ^

Unless I'm missing the joke.....

If you're going to correct someone's grammar, at least be correct yourself.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/alumnus?db=luna

This link gives the same definition for 'Alumnus' as 'Alumna', except that 'Alumna' is specifically a female who graduated or was once a student of a particular school.

Your first link shows "No results" because you incorrectly typed in 'Alumnus"' instead of 'Alumnus'.

Tim

July 29th, 2009 at 4:42 PM ^

I think one source of the $$ disparity might be basketball attendance, too. A quick search didn't yield any results for basketball attendance averages, but I bet OSU gets more people at their games, and would be shocked if they didn't charge more, as well.

teldar

July 30th, 2009 at 8:39 AM ^

What's the attendance at an M home game? Or what was it last year maybe. I was thinking it was getting down to 5-6k people at the end of the Amaker Disaster.
I would hope it's full again.
I'd be surprised if osu isn't charging 20-25 for a home game. And their arena holds about 20k for basketball. That's $400k per home game. That's $8M/yr for basketball (20 home games). Is M pulling in much more than half that? That could be a couple million more of the gap.
Crisler only holds 13k. It's a dump and needs to be replaced. Or expanded and improved.

J. Lichty

July 29th, 2009 at 4:49 PM ^

"They want to get the 'woof, woof' back at the Dawg Pound, back at the Wolverine house, the Big House."

I think that us Big Blue, wolves fans could really take to this one.

mghorm

July 29th, 2009 at 5:13 PM ^

The difference is that OSU has...wait for it... luxury boxes. Once the New stadium is done M will be right up there. I wouldn't be surprised if we take that number one spot. We get a lot of money from apparrel sales in California. i know it sounds weird but a lot of the mexican gangs use the block M as a gang sign.

Anonymosity

July 29th, 2009 at 6:03 PM ^

ESPN's next show will feature two middle-aged men yelling "SPORTS!!" at one another for half an hour, occasionally cutting away to shots of a reasonably attractive woman holding a microphone.

Sadly, this will be more mentally stimulating programming than most of their crap.

Don

July 29th, 2009 at 6:23 PM ^

All this time we'd been laboring under the mistaken impression a wolverine was an overgrown weasel, when in fact it's a canine. Whew, glad we got that cleared up. Now we can get back to the business of winning again.

wiscwood

July 29th, 2009 at 6:56 PM ^

I grew up a UM fan. I'm an alumni of the University of Michigan. Hear me when I say, I want no mercy (football-wise) for any team we face whether it is home or away. I want a gluteus kicked as we speak. It may not sound so civilized. I don't care! NO MERCY!

I remember our streak of wins against OSU in the '90s. I felt a little sorry for them. Never, never again will that feeling occur. I live in Wisconsin now. I want them destroyed on the court/field, even game board the Wii. UM kicks the SEC's can. I want the winning to start in bushels! Let's start this new season!
.

GreyJello

July 29th, 2009 at 7:55 PM ^

I'm usually pretty reserved when it comes to the idea of embarrassing opposing teams. However, after all the shit we've gone through the past year+ on the field and in the media, I am fully in favor of hanging every goddamned point possible on every opponent we play for the next decade.

Crush them all. No mercy.