Unverified Voracity Asks Rhetorical Qs

Submitted by Brian on June 20th, 2011 at 4:55 PM

Site business. Two things:

  1. I am getting married this Saturday in a top-secret location far away from any images of Fielding Yost. I am taking Friday and Monday off; Tom and Tim will produce content as per usual. If you've got a diary you want front-paged this would be an opportune time to post it. Content from me will be light this week because a bunch of friends I don't get to see will be in town, etc.
  2. I'm warning you about this a month ahead of time: honeymoon is in late July for about ten days and I am probably not even going to take my computer.

Your understanding is appreciated.

Wolverine 503wolverine mascotrallypickle4

I'm partial to the rally pickle myself.

Mascot business. I took a rage day so that I wouldn't say anything regrettable in the aftermath of the mascot trial balloon, leaving the rest of the world to offer Dave Brandon a raspberry and Brandon to quickly clarify that while he is all seeing and all knowing he is very very wily and no mascot is pending. Even while doing so he leaves himself an out, saying it "may never happen."

Q: In retrospect do you believe that Brandon announcing the OSU game would be moving to midseason was really a super-clever way to get everyone outraged about it and therefore ensure it doesn't happen?

The M-Zone makes a compelling case that we should not. After that fan explosion we've had the uniform business and the mascot business and at about the same time we've had the night game business. (While I don't care that much about having a night game, it is a departure from tradition.) The evidence points towards Dave Brandon being so intent on "creating the future" that he has absolutely no grasp on what's important to the fanbase until everyone's freaking out about it.

Worse, he spends time belittling the kind of people who do really care. From the inbox:

Below response to my (very short and very respectful) email to Dave Brandon today asking him to reconsider a Michigan mascot.  I actually responded to this, against my better judgment, and said that if there's a man in a furry wolverine costume on the sideline than it'll wind up being more life-changing for him than for me.


Please don’t be too concerned over this life-changing topic!

All will be OK…

Have a great weekend!


I'm not sure how this happened since Dave Brandon was actually on the team under Bo, but the current athletic director appears to have no more connection to Michigan's traditions than—wait for it—Rich Rodriguez.

I really care about what goes on inside Michigan Stadium; Brandon thinks this makes me a sap.

At least he's not alone.

Convenient timing. Meanwhile, one of the main counter-arguments against Old Testament kind of guys who like their coffee black, parole denied, and Michigan Stadium old-timey is that if we don't get that cheddar Michigan will be left in the dust by its rivals.

Presenting Michigan's 2012 budget:

For the proposed FY 2012 Operating Budget (described in detail on the following pages), we project an operating surplus of $11.4 million based on operating revenues of $121.2 million and operating expenses of $109.8 million. The budgeted operating surplus will be will be used to fund our ongoing capital needs and facility renewal projects.

Bill Martin's great accomplishment was killing the immediate cheddar issue dead without compromising the brand that packs the largest stadium in the country. Further squeezing starts to impact the uniqueness of the Michigan experience and erodes the reasons people shell out as much as they do.

Unfair and true and BERGKAMP. Here is Denard Robinson's 87-yard touchdown against Notre Dame last year, first narrated by Tom Hammond, then your inner monologue:

It's not fair comparing Tom Hammond to whoever the BERGKAMP guy is, but he does have a point. Maybe Americans get more confused about whether sports is serious business worthy of objectivity or not.

For a counterpoint EDSBS immediately goes to Sean McDonough, who's the first guy I thought of, too:

Q: Franklin is retired and Nessler is now on the NFL network, so is McDonough now the undisputed #1 college football announcer? I can't think of anyone I'd rather have doing a Michigan game.

Welcome to the field. The O-Zone reports on the latest edition of the Big 33 PA-OH All-Star game, in which Ohio annihilated Pennsylvania. Featured amongst the players of interest is WLB signee Antonio Poole:

Antonio Poole, LB Cincinnati Winton Woods 6'0” 195 (Michigan)

I think Poole may have been the most impressive defensive player on the field. He's only listed at 6'0” 195 pounds, but he sticks ball-carriers right between the numbers and they stay stuck. When he's in pursuit, he looks much bigger than he is. He certainly hits much bigger than he is. He may not be big enough to play linebacker in the Big Ten right now, but the Wolverines may not be able to wait.

That's true—WLB is currently Mike Jones and maybe Brandin Hawthorne.

Goalie zen part XVI. Red Line Report is down on this year's crop of goalies but they do have a solid #1. Prepare for the same scouting report you've heard several times before:

The clear-cut No. 1 guy is John Gibson, who combines excellent size and a calm demeanor in the most important games. He plays economically and is strong in the butterfly, using his long legs to take away the bottom half of the net. Gibson is a big netminder who plays big, challenging well and not leaving much space for shooters to look at. He's also calm and patient and allows the play to come to him. We like his mental strength and focus in clutch situations.

They don't like the other Gibson, so John is the only goalie they give a first round grade.

Etc.: Penn State blog Linebacker U interviews Tom for his perspective on Michigan and Penn State recruiting.



June 20th, 2011 at 7:56 PM ^

Almost touching (almost sad) that you'd even consider the feelings of us addicted to the site. (Maybe you're actually taking your own addictions into consideration?) Anyhoo, congratulations to the both of you, enjoy your time off and don't even consider bringing your computer!




June 20th, 2011 at 8:18 PM ^

Congrats Brian! Additionally, I for one am glad that you replied to Brandon's snide comment. Responses like that go to show that indeed his many years in the corporate world have warped many of the lessons he learned under Bo for those four short years.

The link to the MichiganZone article about DB (twice, even! Not complaining--it's a definite must-read) was well-placed, because it really hits the nail on the head.

Finally, the Big Lebowski references are always appreciated. Have fun with the nuptuals and all of the surrounding festivities, enjoy your time off, and as always, keep up the good work.


June 20th, 2011 at 8:22 PM ^

Posting someone's email (Brandon's), intended as a private reply, in a public forum is a jerk move. Actually a triple-jerk move.

The FannMan

June 20th, 2011 at 9:04 PM ^

Shouldn't it really be a "Hello MGoWife" post?  Such a thing would almost certainly bring the banhammer, but think of the potential: X fakes out of five, prediction based on flimsy evidence, and so on. Now, this is a mascot-level bad idea.  Anyone?

The FannMan

June 20th, 2011 at 8:59 PM ^

May I offer two bits of advice for the blessed day:

1. I got this advice from a buddy.  He told me to remember to take a mental picture at some point during the day.  Actually make yourself remember all the details.  Your own wedding goes by so fast that you'll forget the details unless you make yourself remember them.  

2. Remember that the wedding worked if, at the end of the day, you are married.  All the rest (missing flowers, drunk guests, cold dinners, etc.) are just details.  Don't worry about the details.  By the way, no female will ever, ever accept this so don't even try to explain it to them.  


June 21st, 2011 at 6:21 PM ^

I'm a female and that was my takeaway too--all I wanted for the day was to be married to him. And I got the same advice, to stop and consciously look around at all the people who are there to celebrate you. It was absolutely right. Very profound.


June 20th, 2011 at 9:23 PM ^

I don't particularly think that all American announcers are boring.  I just think that announcers from other parts of the world feel more passionate about their sports because you do present a great point with Sean McDonough.  


June 20th, 2011 at 10:09 PM ^

May your late June wedding go smoothly and may you have your "wedding photo groupings PowerPoint" at the ready to keep the post ceremony rolling with ruthless German efficiency.

*-If you were not aware, the Bridal-Industrial Complex is all about spreadsheets.

Oh, and a word of advice for what it's worth.  Take the computer, but only use in an emergency.  You'll be more frustrated that you don't have it and the exercise in self-restraint is actually more beneficial long term.  Same thing with the smart phone.  Just because you can look at your email does not mean you should.


June 21st, 2011 at 12:28 AM ^


Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. 

Temptation on your wedding night.  Hawaiian Honeymoon.  You can't have one without the other.

On Dave Brandon:  I seriously question his inner Michigan-compass, whether he played for Bo or not.  I am beginning to believe that he would sell out any and all of the traditions that make Michigan unique for a buck.

He lost me early with moving the Michigan-OSU game.  I believe that he saw $$$ to be made in showcasing the B1G Championship game, and that having the Michigan-OSU game the week before it kind of got in the way.  So what the hell, just move it out of the way.  He didn't pull back until we screamed bloody murder. 

I'm not all that concerned with pimping night football games and outdoor hockey games.  What concerns me is that I'm not sure I can trust DB to recognize the difference between minor things like that and things that define us as a program, like the season-ending OSU game.  They're all just ways to make a buck.

When I hear our Athletic Director say things like "Mascots are really embraced by the youth demographic and we want to take advantage of that", it gives me the creeps.  And I have a Marketing MBA from the Michigan Business School.  If it gives me the creeps, it's because it's creepy. 



June 21st, 2011 at 7:07 AM ^

Good job on getting married during the Football/Basketball/Hockey off-season, I did the same and it helps on two fronts:

1. I can vaguely remember when it is due it not during any sport season save baseball and I can live without a game or two plus I know it's on the 31st of said off-season so I can narrow it down to July/Aug and then I remember August has fall camp...Bingo July 31st is my anniversary.

2. I can honestly give it my full attention due to no major sports. Alas this does not matter due to two GunnersMonkeyes that require us to spend special events at amusement parks/Chuckey Cheese due to lack of babysitters.   


June 21st, 2011 at 8:29 AM ^

Congrats Dear Leader.

A few tips from someone screwed up #1 choice but is happy with his second choice:

1. Practice the following ancient proverbs: Yes dear and I'm sorry.

2. Make sure she likes guys.

3. Buy flowers (or etc.) on random days like Tuesday morning when you go to the store to buy more milk.

4. Be wary if she has a large Indigo Girls and Melissa Etheridge CD collection.

5. Have at least three checking/ MM withdrawal accounts: Bills, hers, his.

6. If you are not sure about her liking guys never ask for a threeway, she might never come back.

Hopefully you don't need to worry and forever will be forever!


June 21st, 2011 at 9:09 AM ^

I can't even get cranky at people for being cranky because


"Old Testament kind of guys who like their coffee black, parole denied"

Blue in Yarmouth

June 21st, 2011 at 2:59 PM ^

At my wedding reception my best man provided the following toast and I wish you the same:

May tomorrow morning mirror an old cabinet ....four wobbley legs and a worn nob.