Tale Of The Tape: Alumni

Submitted by Brian on November 17th, 2005 at 9:37 PM

Yeah, I don't think I can top the coaches one, so this may be a letdown, but you get what you pay for.

Michigan Ohio State
The Unabomber Wackjob Jeffery Dahmer
Advantage: Michigan (Bombing People > Eating People)
Iggy Pop Musician O.A.R.
Advantage: Michigan
Arthur Miller, Crucible playwright who pulled his 5x2 on Marilyn Monroe Famous Author RL Stine, guy who writes the "Goosebumps" series
Advantage: Michigan
Does it matter? Humorist Bruce Vilanch
Vastnormous Advantage: Michigan
Tom Freakin' Brady Quarterback Kirk Herbstreit
Advantage: Michigan
Lucy Liu Hottie Patricia Heaton
Advantage: Michigan
Gerald Ford President N/A
Advantage: Push
Clarence Darrow Famous Law Talkin' Guy N/A
Advantage: Michigan
James Earl Jones, Darth Freakin' Vader Voice of God Guy Jack Buck, legendary announcer and sire of demonic Joe Buck
Advantage: Michigan
Google co-founder Larry Page Internets Superhero Guy Wikipedia co-founder Larry Sanger
Advantage: Michigan
Selma Blair Chick Who Made Out With Sarah Michelle Gellar Guy N/A
Advantage: Michigan
Ann Coulter Woman Some Find Hot, Inexplicably Melina Kanakaredes
Advantage: Eeeew. Push

(Note: Michigan is spared a huge black mark because Michael Moore went to UM-Flint.)

Another Michigan blowout: 10-0-2. They never stood a chance.

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