Scientists Unveil 3G Shoelace Comment Count

Seth December 22nd, 2011 at 3:10 PM


We interrupt your regularly scheduled afternoon to bring you this important science (Science!) update, courtesy of ESPN Sport Science and HT ChuckWood. It has a 15-second Wodka commercial introduction that's worth waiting through. Follow either link for findings such as:

  • Denard is like Michael Vick only faster (and with better quarterbacking numbers)
  • Denard can get up to 11 mph in four steps
  • Denard's top speed is somewhere close to 22 mph
  • Denard recreates the G force of a shuttle launch when he cuts.

Denard Robinson is made of dilithium. Science!



December 22nd, 2011 at 4:17 PM ^

I am torn.  On the one hand, Denard!!!  Most awesome M player in the history of ever, and nice to see him get the hype.

On the other hand, Denard is getting an NFL evaluation.  These types of measurables are the type of thing that could go into a very positive evaluation, especially if he is being eveluated as an ATH.  I really want Denard to come back next year.



December 22nd, 2011 at 10:35 PM ^

I get the impression that he'd have to be almost guaranteed a first round pick to even think about declaring early, and as much as I loves me some Denard, I don't think he's there yet, at any position.


December 22nd, 2011 at 4:36 PM ^

Really META but yeah it's technically doable but creates problems. There's several things involved:

  • The "front page" option that works w/ diaries does not work for these. I would have to bump to a Diary, then do it from there. I can bump a board item to Diaries that has <200 words but I can't edit it or anything without tripping the iron 200-words rule. That means I couldn't FP it from there.
  • User tags (which I'd have to post then go back and delete and re-make if I wanted to add). Also there's a problem created by the subcategory "football" on the board gets stories thrown into a deep dark hole.
  • Posting time. I'd like the OP to have the rapidity with which he posted preserved, however I waited to let Ace's article sit as the top post for a few hours before posting. To do that i would have to change the posting date (this doesn't happen with FP'ed diaries) or else it would appear under Ace's article.
  • Points. You get 100 points for a FP bump but you will lose anything you got for plus/minus. He deserves all the PLUSES for posting. I gave the OP a 200-pt bump as well.
  • My images. The easiest way for me to upload images to the server is by publishing in WLive. Obviously I can't do it that way if it's somebody else's post.
  • Some people find short things like this annoying. I'd rather they be annoyed with me than with a user who appropriately posted it in on the board.



December 22nd, 2011 at 4:44 PM ^

Astronauts experience 3 g's for minutes, Denard experiences them for a fraction of a second.  A better comparison of how that g-force feels would be how anybody feels at the bottom of a rollercoaster, 3-4g's for a very brief instant of time.

He's still one of the only people that can do that though, so I guess astronaut/Space Bitches comparison is valid.


December 22nd, 2011 at 6:12 PM ^

is awesome! We all think he is coming back right? After another off-season and spring ball and the practice time before the season that  will only help him more.He will have a chance to be drafted in the first round. He has already out peformed micheal vick in college. He needs to work on his accuracy and gain some weight.


December 22nd, 2011 at 7:04 PM ^

There was a book by a physicist a few years ago (The Physics of Football) which also noted the tremendous forces at work when runners cut and change directions. Barry Sanders was the example used in the book and he and Denard must have incredibly strong ankle ligaments and be very fit to withstand the sudden stops and shifts. It isn't just a linear 2-3+ G accleration. It is going from +1-2 to 0 and then 2-3 in the opposite direction.


December 22nd, 2011 at 9:53 PM ^

Denard is so fast . . . he watches 60 Minutes in half an hour.

Denard is so fast . . . he can turn out the lights and be in bed before it's dark.

Denard is so fast . . . he got a speeding ticket on I-94. He was walking.

Denard is so fast . . . he leaves a vapor trail on cold days.

Denard is so fast . . . he bends time. He graduates in 1997.

Denard is so fast . . . they had to use high-speed film to take his class picture.

Denard is so fast . . . he has to use his dreadlocks as a parachute to slow down.

Denard is so fast . . . he catches rabbits during lunch. In Australia.

Denard is so fast . . . scientists measure the distance between stars in Denard-years.

Denard is so fast . . . he gives Usain Bolt a 90 meter head start in the 100 meters.

Denard is so fast . . . when he was a baby he broke the sound barrier learning to crawl.

Denard is so fast . . . you can tell how far away he is by counting the seconds until you hear thunder.

Denard is so fast . . . Cheetahs teach their young how to hunt by watching video of Denard.

Denard is so fast . . . he won the Indy 500. Without a car.

Denard is so fast . . . it takes light 8 minutes to reach the earth from the sun. Denard can do it in 4.

Denard is so fast . . . by the time you hear "Hike", he's already in the end zone.


Denard is so fast . . . [Your turn].


December 23rd, 2011 at 12:01 AM ^

Denard's so fast... he can catch his own passes

Denard's so fast... he goes home to Deerfield Beach for Sunday Dinner

Denard's so fast... he outran the neutrinos at CERN

Denard's so fast... he can watch the sunset for hours at a time

Denard's so fast... he (like the space shuttle) can escape the gravitational pull of Charlie Weis