Rutgers 26, Michigan 24 Comment Count

Seth October 4th, 2014 at 11:59 PM

at the People's Climate March on Sept. 21 in New York City. (Adam Glanzman)

Adam Glanzman/special to MGoBlog

Human beings, and not just those associated with Michigan, are capable of extraordinary incompetence. The biggest brain fart tonight was when a guy watched Amara Darboh make a catch, take two steps, dive out of bounds, and place the ball on the ground, then “confirmed” it “incomplete.” The call on the field was malpractice; getting it wrong with the benefit of a DVR and HDTV is so staggeringly separated from reality that most fanbases will go for sinister explanations.

A Michigan Man knows better. Watching this program try to manage a clock, manage an offense, or manage a press release is the kind of thorough education in the extent of the human capacity for ineptitude that you’ve come to expect from the nation’s top public university.

“Blame the refs!” explains why Wile had to attempt a 56-yarder—which Rutgers blocked—and why Michigan had just one timeout to throw against a 1st down-and-kneel drive to end the game. It doesn’t explain why Michigan manipulated the clock to leave their opponent a comfortable 120 seconds to drive at the end of the first half. Or why they forgot they had Funchess for two quarters. Or why a heretofore deep and competent secondary gave up 404 yards to Gary Nova, overcoming a record previously held by the John L. Smith Razorbacks.

Michigan stayed in it, partly because Rutgers is Rutgers. Also because Devin Gardner laughed off two tackle attempts en route to a 19-yard 4th quarter touchdown that needs to be put to Autumn Thunder immediately. I feel awful about how this guy’s career has gone. Given the schedule from here, the Wolverines would be lucky to go 6-6 and unlikely to win four. When the team is this bad and the coaches’ meat this dead, we can check out, or just enjoy the occasional exploits of those who won’t.

People are just stupid sometimes; even Unpossible Throw God Gary Nova himself took a false start(!) this game. This will be important to remember whenever it’s time to commence  a headhunt as inevitable as the Big Ten’s empty apology. Humans are only tenuously rational creatures, and as soon as a coaching search commences, all contact with reality is lost.

Comments

AaronStark19

October 5th, 2014 at 12:04 AM ^

Was the worst I've seen since the 2012 thanksgiving game against the texans when we clearly tacked Arian foster and he got up and ran into the end-zone and they called it a TD.

Mr. Yost

October 5th, 2014 at 11:57 AM ^

...but he'd be perfect for the Oakland Raiders. They have NO identity.

He'd be a perfect fit...and hire the Seahawks DC as the head coach.

Tell me that's not a match made in Raiders Heaven?

HC : Dan Quinn (Seahawks DC)
OC: Rick Dennison (Ravens QB Coach)
DC: Jim Schwartz (Bills DC)

...Long passes and the most overly aggressive defense, EVER.

UM Indy

October 5th, 2014 at 12:06 AM ^

Here we come. With the way things are going, is anyone really surprised that an obvious catch is ruled not a catch (twice)? This train is so far off the track it makes the scene from The Fugitive look like a minor accident.

blue_shift

October 5th, 2014 at 12:06 AM ^

At this point, I just feel bad for the kids. The kids out there on the field - and another set of kids, the one that has grown up without ever seeing Michigan football have sustained success....

An Angelo's Addict

October 5th, 2014 at 9:16 AM ^

I feel like watching this team, it is still obvious that Devin hero ball is the only way we can move the ball. The running game had some good improvement but it still keeps looking like our offense never has an identity aside from "Come on Devin, do something amazing". I miss offensive scheme advantages and adjustments that exploit the defense. I am just scared for the future when we don't have the dynamic athletes like Devin to bail us out

goblue9

October 5th, 2014 at 12:06 AM ^

Say what y'all want but darrin had 3 feet in on that catch

 We get that game winning field goal not 56 yard attempt. Thought we played way better

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

M-Dog

October 5th, 2014 at 12:36 AM ^

It's like it was just meant to be, no?

Oh Well.  At least Superfan Brady Hoke got to live out his Walter Mitty fantasy for four years at his dream job, and then walk away with a cool $2 million. So, good for him.  He had the best seat in the house, and he's set for life now.  

We all move on now. 

 

justingoblue

October 5th, 2014 at 12:45 AM ^

Is there a staff member you've either filled in for or written a similar story to once that you haven't been confused with? I can't remember one from Heiko or Brandon Brown but can think of several times someone thought you were other authors.

(Shalom to your family, not just with the holiday but everything.)

Seth

October 5th, 2014 at 9:18 PM ^

Usually it's people mistaking me for Brian. Part of that I'm sure is Dear Diary is kind of written in a similar style to Unverified Voracity, since they're both links posts and both ape Jon Stewart.

I think this is the first Ace and I got confused but that's understandable given he usually writes the postgames.

raleighwood

October 5th, 2014 at 12:09 AM ^

Was it the right choice to attempt a 56 yard field goal versus the alternative of going for it on 4th and 9?  Neither option has a high probability of success but it seems to me that going for it has a better chance of working (especially since they had just completed a pass that should have been a 1st down) than having Wile (who's been "iffy" at best) attempt a kick from that distance.  Just curious.

Willie Heston

October 5th, 2014 at 12:17 AM ^

coupled with the fact that Rutgers has displayed excellent abilities in blocking all sorts of kicks in the past couple of years (Brandy and Dierdorf rattled off some pretty impressive stats to this extent as foreshadowing shortly before the ill-fated kick, none of which I remember--doesnt really matter anyway)

AeonBlue

October 5th, 2014 at 12:30 AM ^

I wonder how much of that goes into the scouting report. Most of the time FG blocks seem like a stroke of luck (low kick, bad snap/hold, missed assignment, etc.). What percentage of the scouting report is "Oh yeah, these guys have blocked 2 FGs already this season and have the most blocks in 5 years of any FBS school." In hindsight it seems kind of important but I would be curious to know how many teams track stuff like that in their scouting reports. 

BornSinner

October 5th, 2014 at 8:12 PM ^

This again goes to show how profoundly mindnumbingly asinine our coaching staff is... From wasting time outs on making it seem like we're going no huddle only to line up early and sit there for 30 seconds to attempting a 50+ yarder with a kicker who barely makes 30 yarders?!?!?!?

ARE YOU JOKING!!!?!?

I was nearly pulling my hair out at the stadium. 4th and 9 was a much better option. I couldn't believe the kick/punt blocking statistic they put up on the scoreboard earlier in the game... then figures it would bite us in the ass...

 

Can we hire Rutgers' special teams coach? Please? 

How does this coaching staff not know this?!?!? 

JFW

October 5th, 2014 at 9:18 AM ^

And, one more thing, I like Dierdorf, but can Brandy quit with the freakin advertisments woven into the game every 5 seconds? "That was a close shave..."

Is that a Brandon thing?

And as I live up North now, I've lost track of the local radio scene. who lost WJR??? I had to go hunting on the dial.

User -not THAT user

October 5th, 2014 at 1:05 AM ^

...we're not good at those.  Even if the attempt wasn't blocked, making one from that far isn't automatic when we have a GOOD kicker.  If  he had a chance to kick it closer I'm not sure what his percentages are.

Who was the last kicker Michigan had that as soon as you saw him going onto the field you knew the three points were in the bag?  Gotta be since 20th Century Carr that we've had someone that consistently good at it.