Picture Pages: Datbull

Submitted by BiSB on May 21st, 2013 at 4:30 PM

By now everyone has heard the saga of Jay Harris. The former Michigan State wide receiver commit out of Pennsylvania has parted ways with the Spartans to pursue his rap career. There are varying accounts of exactly what happened; Harris claimed it was a mutual decision, and MSU sources are indicating they dropped him like... well, like a Michigan State wide receiver would drop something. But with all the drama of how this went down, one thing got lost in the shuffle: the music.

[Caution: lyrics are very much NSFW]

Harris put together a this epic music video, so it's only fitting that we analyze said video to try to unlock the genius within.

0:00 - 000

We open on the most hardcore of all yard equipment storage structures, the shed. This particular shed is especially thug, because it is tagged. On the inside. So whoever was inside the shed would know whose shed it was. A lone young man sits, and while we presume him to be our protagonist, but he has not yet told us his name.

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0:04 - 004

Oh damn, there goes that scholarship. Oh well. Now we can move on to our hero's true talents like...

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0:07 -007

...being a fire-breathing dragon.

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0:10 - 010

"Datbull fo life. Fo fo life. I'm Datbull fo life. Fo life..."

Finally, a flicker of insight into his identity. Yes, our hero has a name. And like most males, he will go by that name for the rest of his life. But apparently he has had trouble in the past convincing people of either his identity or the vehemence with which he will stand by that identity, so he repeats himself several times to drive home his point. He is Datbull, and he shall remain as such for life.

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0:14 - 014

He seems to have lost focus, though in fairness it seems to be through little fault of his own.

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0:17 - 017

Mr. Bull has surrounded himself with a group of likeminded compatriots, but one (who may or may not be pre-weight loss Jonah Hill) has been ostracized from the group. He is made to stand behind a gate. This seems unfair, but perhaps there is a good reason. Only time will tell.

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0:27 - 027

"I'm Datbull fo life. I take yo wife. Take his b*tch and his b*tch..."

Our scene shifts to the pavilion at a local park. Pavilions, of course, are among the thuggest of the open-air structures. What, were you gonna say that pagodas are harder? You think a weak-ass gazebo could survive in the rap game? Hell no. But I hope they reserved that pavilion, because if that Boy Scout Troop shows up, they'll kick you out again. They plan ahead.

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0:40 - 040

"She dancin' [in close proximity to my genitals] like she practicing that ballet" 

That's... sir, that's not a nice thing to say about his wife.

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1:19 119

"And there's mollys in the building so you know I'm popping three..."

We return to the safety of the shed, and we are led to notice the amount of seating available. How many gatherings are you hosting in this shed?

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1:29 - 129

[I have no idea what he's saying]

This is a tactical error by the director. This large pile of money is barely noticeable. That should be fanned out and/or made to rain. This is standard protocol.

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1:34 - 134

[Something about being Van Gogh if Van Gogh smoked weed]

Another embarrassing mistake with the vehicle shot. We clearly see our cameraman's hand on the 'oh shit' handle.

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1:38 - 138

Dude, you just got your own words wrong. We need to get out of this car. Go back to the shed. Or the the street. Things were going pretty well in the street.

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1:45 - 145

"I'm like Jordan to the game but you can call me DB..."

Thank God, we're back on the street. And it appears that Datbull has carried on the recent tradition of Michigan State wide receiver commits, in that he (a) enjoys basketball, and (b) won't end up playing wide receiver at Michigan State.

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2:02 - 202Ja

They've finally let Jonah Hill out from behind the gate, which DAMNIT JONAH GET YOUR HAND OFF OF YOUR JUNK. We're filming a goddamn music video here. I mean...you know what? No. Get back behind your gate.

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2:08 - 208

"...you can call me Datbull. Fo life. Fo fo life. Fo life. You know. You know."

The lyrics conclude. But there is still a full 1:18 left in the video. I'm not sure how we're gonna fill that time, but whatever. Once you’ve made your point, there’s really no point in continuing. And I think we’re all pretty clear about the message. Datbull. Fo Life.

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2:15 - 215

Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

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2:22 - 222

The group gathers once more under the pavilion. Jonah has been forced to stand to the side. This is for everyone's safety (see: 2:02).

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2:29 - 229

We fade to black. There are still 57 seconds left in the video. It's clear now how we are going to fill the remaining time: by not.

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2:46 - 246

And now we're completely dark. Do... do we leave now? I mean, there's still some sound, but it's like they forgot we were still here. Oh well, let's wait to see if there are some special features at the end, like Datbull and his friends eating shawarma.

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3:00 - 300

Not looking promising.

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3:26 - 300

Nope. Just a bold and unconventional artistic choice by the artist, as if to say, 'I don't need graphics or lyrics or sounds of any kind. I'm Datbull. Fo life. You know? You know."

Comments

Jon06

May 21st, 2013 at 4:36 PM ^

There are varying accounts of exactly what happened; Harris claimed it was a mutual decision, and MSU sources are indicating they dropped him like... well, like a Michigan State wide receiver would drop something.

M-Wolverine

May 21st, 2013 at 5:02 PM ^

It just needs a break in it somewhere so it's not pushing ALL the content off the front page.

I only brought up the Borges one because that sucker should be top paged for awhile.  But even the other stuff, though it shouldn't stay above this, probably doesn't need to be shoved out of sight either.

I try and make no judgement on content. Love it or hate it I can read it or not.  But I will make formatting suggestions.

S4H

May 21st, 2013 at 4:48 PM ^

BiSB, any chance you will score a one-on-one interview with Datbull to get the inside info about this epic music video?

Everyone Murders

May 21st, 2013 at 7:08 PM ^

For those of us who've not yet tired of this story, it's great to hear J. Datbull describe his recruiting experience.  The DJs ask him if he smokes weed on the video, and he says - essentially "you saw what you saw".  Then comes the good stuff, where he says (at about the 5:10 minute mark) that - transcribing as best I can:

If you go to any Division 1 school, when you go out on your officials, they take you out anywhere, that's what you do - you get drunk and smoke weed, to be honest... .

jaylee714

May 22nd, 2013 at 3:57 PM ^

With Rude Jude and Lord Sear, they were featuring John Salley on there (which Salley discussed his likeness for smoking on that green)... Anyhow, they did a "Hate It Or Love It" segment where they play an unknown artists song and people call in, uncensored, and voice their opinion. In short, it was hilarious and everyone called him a complete idiot and he's a "French Montana" sounding mother****** and he is very generic. It's on Shade 45 on Sirius Satelitite on demand if you have it. Good stuff. Good stuff.

dahblue

May 21st, 2013 at 5:08 PM ^

One could feel bad for this kid if his rap weren't so weak, his crew weren't so weak, his whip weren't so weak, and his weed likely Mexican ditch.  Side note, am I alone in thinking that the  smiling little white guy (not Jonah Hill) is the best character?

kimboslice11

May 21st, 2013 at 5:10 PM ^

>And it appears that Datbull has carried on the recent tradition of Michigan State wide receiver commits, in that he (a) enjoys basketball, and (b) won't end up playing wide receiver at Michigan State.

 

I lost it at that. Hilarious!

My name ... is Tim

May 21st, 2013 at 5:10 PM ^

Very Rembert Explains of you. Two thumbs way up.

It's a really a shame that the NCAA's draconian rulebook prevents Jay from reaping the millions he's clearly about to earn from his rap career while simultaneously participating as a scholarship D-I football player. Breaks your heart that he's forced to choose which lucrative venture he'll pursue as opposed to exposing us to the many talents of this true renaissance man.

Chuck Harbaugh

May 21st, 2013 at 5:27 PM ^

per the urban dictionary...

 

pop mollys 289 up270 down
 
A misused phrase uttered by kids who are uneducated with drugs. Molly being "popped" is not possible. Molly is the pure form of ectasy and can only be snorted. The only way you can "pop molly" is by taking ecstasy in pill form which are called "rolls". Rolls are cut with many other drugs. So when kids say "popping molly", they are completely illiterate.
Rave kid: I'm thinking I want to pop mollys tonight bro."

Rave adult: "Popping mollys? How? Don't you mean you're gonna take rolls?"

Rave kid: "Wait...uh...what?"

Rave adult: *Facepalm*

 

LB

May 21st, 2013 at 5:29 PM ^

Whatever you are doing to avoid anyone writing similar articles about Michigan recruits, please continue.

Edit: You people owe me for not replying to that post above, forever locking it that way.

Edit Redux: so now I know that if I overhear anyone discussing "popping mollys", that they can't read. This is why I come here.

turtleboy

May 21st, 2013 at 5:28 PM ^

J-Roc had a much better hideout. That dugout under his moms trailer was as gangsta as it gets. two full couches, secret passwords, etc. Datbull is more like the Bubbles of the rap game. Reppin shed dwellers around the world.