Opponent Watch 2022: Week 5 Comment Count

BiSB October 6th, 2022 at 9:00 AM

About Last Week

Not all All Americans are built the same. [h/t Mr. Elbel]

The Road Ahead

Indiana (3-2, 1-1 B1G)

Last week: Lost at Nebraska, 35-21

Recap: So, a quick peek behind the curtain here at Opponent Watch Headquarters and Bait Shop. I have a template I start from, and when I write this dumb word pile every week, the first thing I typically do is to go down the list and fill in the current team records, last week’s result, and this week’s opponents. This week, when I scrolled back up to start writing, I saw “Indiana (3-2, 1-1 B1G)” and I immediately clicked on it to correct it. But when I checked the ESPN standings again, sure enough, Indiana is 3-2 and 1-1.

But hoooooo lordy does this not feel like a 3-2 and 1-1 team.

Everything Indiana is doing right now looks hard. They rushed for 67 yards at 2.9 yards per carry against a Nebraska defense that had been surrendering an average of 234 yards per game at 5.7 YPC. In their three Power 5 games, Indiana has rushed for a TOTAL of 167 yards at 1.9 YPC. Meanwhile, Connor Bazelak is last in the Big Ten in yards per attempt, and has managed to fall behind Spencer Petras for worst passer rating in the conference. Defensively, they can’t get off the field, surrendering an only-better-than-Michigan-State 25.5 first downs per game and 48.5% third down conversion rate against Power 5 opponents.

In the hierarchy of unexpected statements, “man, how did these guys beat Illinois” is pretty far up there, but… man, how did these guys beat Illinois?

This team is as frightening as: The fear that if you don’t answer this call, you WON’T be able to extend your car’s factory warranty. Fear Level = 3

Michigan should worry about: Indiana does produce some negative plays defensively: they’re averaging 2.8 sacks and 6.8 TFLs per game, and they’ve generated 9 turnovers.

Michigan can sleep soundly about: Indiana just makes so many mistakes. They aren’t talented enough to win without playing cleanly, and they are not playing cleanly. This week, they committed 11 penalties against Nebraska and had to call a timeout before the first play of the game. They also got a punt blocked.

When they play Michigan: Protect all knees and brains and balls.

This week: vs. Michigan, Big Noon Saturday, FOX (IU +22)

[AFTER THE JUMP: More. For some reason.]

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Penn State (5-0, 2-0 B1G)

Last week: Beat Northwestern, 17-7

Related enough that, by law, I kinda have to put this here

Recap: Penn State seems hell-bent on preventing us from getting any sort of useful read on them. They looked mediocre against Purdue. But then blasted Ohio and Auburn. But then they turned in a clunker against CMU. And now we get… this. Whatever this was.

Penn State outgained Northwestern by nearly a yard per play and forced three turnovers and three additional turnovers on downs. That’s usually enough to beat a good team, and more than enough to eviscerate a bad team. But Penn State also committed five turnovers, their most in a game since the 2010 season when a sophomore Matt McGloin threw 5 picks in the Citrus Bowl.

Yes, this game was literally played in a hurricane, and Penn State had a lead against a generally hapless team, which explains the conservative playcalling and the general lack of urgency. But it doesn’t fully explain why Penn State’s running backs only averaged 4.1 yards per carry a week after Miami’s (NTM’s) running backs averaged 6.6 YPC against this same Northwestern defense.

This team is as frightening as: The fourth diagnosis on WebMD or any other online symptom checker. The first two are always something common and relatively mundane like a common cold, the flu, or strep throat (that’s the Big Ten West). Diagnosis #3 is MEGA-CANCER (that’s Ohio State). But the fourth diagnosis is something scientific-sounding that you’ve never heard of. And while you feel pretty uneasy about bilateral areolatic hyperhemorrhagia, it’s probably less frightening than MEGA-CANCER. Fear Level = 8

Michigan should worry about: Sean Clifford now gets a bye week to plop into his overstuffed Lazy Boy and rest his aching joints. I feel you, Sean. Old age is a bitch.

Michigan can sleep soundly about: Man, once you settle into that chair, it’s hard to get back up.

When they play Michigan: I should feel comfortable calling this the biggest test on the schedule before The Game. Statistically, it is. Based on the eye test, it is. By every objective measure, it is.

But there is a challenger to this title. He goes only by “Bert.”

This week: Bye

 

Michigan State (2-3, 0-2 B1G)

Last week: Lost at Maryland, 27-13

Recap: Michigan State decided they didn’t need any character development this season. They didn’t start with a few questionable outings demonstrating some potential flaws that a worthy opponent would eventually exploit. They didn’t need to evolve. They didn’t need a slow Walter White-esque slide from hero to antihero to actual bad guy. They just showed up one day three weeks ago and declared “we are bad now.” They didn’t feel the need to explain or defend this decision or to clear up any plot holes. They went full “good wrestler hits tag team partner with a tire iron out of nowhere and is now a heel.” And I respect that. It reminds me of Michael Bay explaining the logic behind the plot of Armageddon to Ben Affleck:

But yeah. Michigan State is bad.

Not “not living up to expectations” bad. Not “…for a team who was supposed to contend for a Big Ten title” bad. Not even “for a Big Ten team” bad. Just bad. They’re bad at everything. They can’t run the ball. They can’t pass the ball. They can’t stop the pass. They can’t stop the run until teams get into bleed-the-clock-with-our-multiple-score-lead mode. In the last three weeks ⁠— against the only Power 5 opponents MSU has faced this year ⁠— this is what Sparty has looked like:

  • They’ve allowed 500 yards per game at over 6.6 yards per play. They’ve been outgained by 1.5 yards per play.
  • They’re allowing 9.1 yards per pass and a passer rating of 175.3 (for comparison, Bryce Young won the Heisman last year with a passer rating of 167.5).
  • Their opponents have converted 55.6% of third down attempts.
  • They have 1 sack for -1 yard, and they have generated 1 total turnover.
  • They’ve rushed for 2.8 yards per carry for a total of 60 yards per game.
  • Of the 180 minutes of game time, they have trailed for 167:13. They’ve trailed by multiple scores for 117:30.

And now they get Ohio State.

This team is as frightening as: Boarding a very expensive three-week Caribbean cruise with a boyfriend/girlfriend you’ve only been dating for a brief time and don’t know very well. Initially you are more concerned about whether it would be worth the cost. But within a couple of days, after your significant other starts hanging healing crystals and berating cruise staff for “bringing negative energy to the buffet” and weeping uncontrollably for hours on end, you realize that it was the “three weeks” part that was the real risk. Sunk cost is sunk cost, but now you’re stuck in a very small space for a very long time with a person with whom you very much don’t want to be stuck.

Now imagine the cruise was 10 years long and cost $95 Million. Fear Level = 7

Michigan should worry about: Michigan State is the best defense in the history of American Football from inside the 3-yard line. This season, they have faced 17 offensive plays from the 3-yard line and in, all against Power 5 teams with good offenses. They have allowed 0 yards on 13 of those plays, and have turned their opponents over on downs three times while only allowing three touchdowns.

Michigan can sleep soundly about: The offense is bad. We knew this. The defense is bad. We knew this. The general vibes are bad. We knew this. But until now, the special teams had been fine. Not GOOD… but fine. But this week, MSU flubbed an extra point on a comically bad snap, they shanked a 33 yard field goal, and they had a 45 yard field goal thunderblocked at the end of the first half. Seriously, three different Terps were in position to block the thing.

When they play Michigan: I will not allow myself to start thinking about the word “catharsis.” Yet.

This week: vs. Ohio State, 4:00 p.m., ABC (MSU +27)

 

Rutgers (3-2, 0-2 B1G)

Last week: Lost at Ohio State, 49-10

Recap: Rutgers led Ohio State 7-0.

So that’s something.

This team is as frightening as: A real Big Ten team. Seriously.

Sure, they’ve been playing in the conference for eight years. But Rutgers put up with mountains of scorn, ridicule, and disrespect, not to mention colossal beatdowns on the field, and they didn’t say a damn thing. But the first time a team decided to not punt during punting time, they decided it was time to throw the hell down. And anyone who takes punting etiquette that seriously is a real Big Ten team in my book. Fear Level = 3

Michigan should worry about: Maybe Noah Vedral has been out because he secretly had his throwing arm surgically replaced with a different, better arm, and he will return by the Michigan game. You laugh, but apparently leg-lengthening-to-make-me-taller surgery is a thing, so why can’t a DanMarinoplasty be a thing?

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“Hey doc, while you’re in there…”

Michigan can sleep soundly about: There was a chance that Rutgers’ rush defense had taken a step forward. Miyan Williams just ran for 189 yards at 9 yards per carry, which actually understates his efficiency as 4 of his 5 (!) touchdowns were goal line carries.

When they play Michigan: You all know my affinity for Rutgers. By virtue write about them once a week ⁠— even if briefly ⁠—for the last nine seasons, I have inadvertently become one of the internet’s foremost experts on the nature of Rutgers football. Others, even occasional interlopers, understand the X’s and O’s far better, but doubt many understand Rutgers as a living, breathing, fumbling entity independent of the players currently embodying the red and whatever. So I feel uniquely qualified to make the following pronouncement:

This Rutgers is the same Rutgers we’ve seen for the last 5 years. There has been no leap. There will be no leap this year.

This week: vs. Nebraska, 7:00 p.m. FRIDAY, FS1 (Rutgers +3)

 

Nebraska (2-3, 1-1 B1G)

Last week: Beat Indiana, 35-21

Recap: Even by Nebraska game standards, this was a weird, dumb game. The teams combined for 56 points, 31 possessions, 19 punts, and 23 penalties, a blocked punt return touchdown, a defensive touchdown, and a starting lineman ejected for face-slappin’. But Nebraska beat an FBS opponent for the first time in their last 10 tries, so for once, the weird dumbness worked in their favor.

This game was tied at 21 after three quarters, but Nebraska felt like the better team the entire way and managed to put together two second-half touchdown drives to put the game away. Nebraska’s defense held Indiana in check for the entire second half; the Hoosiers’ second half drives consisted of 5, 3, 3, 6, 3, 4, and 4 plays, with none of those drives covering more than 28 yards.

This team is as frightening as: A disassembled Chevy Malibu. Non-functional in its current state, but you might find a person who knows how to put it all together, in which case would probably be upgraded to “fine.” Fear Level = 4.5

Michigan should worry about: We all laughed about how Scott Frost was the problem… but what if Scott Frost was the problem? This team does not lack talent. They just lack talent going in the right direction.

Michigan can sleep soundly about: Hard-fought wins over Indiana don’t have what numbers folks would call “significant predictive value.”

When they play Michigan: If you’re curious, yes, Husker Syndrome (which Twitter genius @actioncookbook called “the omicorn variant,” which I am furious to have missed) remains very real: the three teams to beat Nebraska ⁠— Northwestern, Georgia Southern, and Oklahoma ⁠— all lost this week, bringing their combined records to 1-8 since playing Nebraska. Each are underdogs this week (as is last week’s opponent, Indiana), as it appears Vegas has been reading the medical journals.

The only remaining question is whether this malady can be transmitted in a Husker victory. After all, North Dakota ⁠— the only team to lose to Nebraska ⁠— is 3-1 since that game.

This week: @ Rutgers, 7:00 p.m., FS1 (Nebraska -3)

 

Illinois (4-1, 1-1 B1G)

Last week: Beat Wisconsin, 34-10

Recap: Illinois’ defensive turnaround is downright amazing.

Illinois spent five straight years from 2016 through 2020 allowing more than 5.5 yards per play, which was near the bottom of the conference every year. They were in the Bottom 4 in the Big Ten in yards per carry allowed in conference play every season between 2013 and 2020. Their linebackers were consistently awful.

They were better last year, especially in the back half of the season, and showed flashes of being really good (see: the 9 OT Penn State game (but don’t actually LOOK at that game; it’s still radioactive)). But this year, they have allowed under 2.5 yards per carry (#1 in the Big Ten and #5 nationally), and this week, they performed a goddang masterpiece.

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17 non-QB carries for 24 yards. 2 yards total. They held Braelon Allen to 9 inches per carry. It was such a throttling that Wisconsin fired the coach with the highest conference win percentage of any Wisconsin coach since the Great War.

This team is as frightening as: Wisconsin, but like halfway between “Wisconsin Wisconsin” and “current Wisconsin.”

Wisconsin1

Fear Level = 6

Michigan should worry about: This space is reserved for Chase Brown until further notice.

Michigan can sleep soundly about: I love the Illinois revolution as much as anyone, but we’ve only seen them be like 63% of a real team. We know they can run the ball, we think they can stop the run, and we have inklings that they can defend the pass. Advanced stats still aren’t sold, and I have my doubts. We’ll know a lot more after their next two games against Iowa and Minnesota.

When they play Michigan: If ⁠— IF ⁠— Michigan reaches 10-0, you will never see the phrase “Upset Alert” used on ESPN with a higher density than you will see during the week leading up to this game.

This week: vs. Iowa, 7:30 p.m., BTN (Illinois -3.5, O/U 35.5)

 

Ohio State (5-0, 2-0 B1G)

Last week: Beat Rutgers, 49-10

Recap: Ohio State moves to 9-0 against Rutgers. The average margin of victory in those 9 games has been a shade over 6 touchdowns. The Buckeyes have never scored fewer than 49 points against the Scarlet Knights. Ohio State had never trailed Rutgers at any point in any game.

Until this game.

Is the rivalry turning? Maybe yes. Maybe no. It’s impossible to tell at this point. But probably yes.

This team is as frightening as: Land war in Asia. Fear Level = 10

Michigan can sleep soundly about: Ohio State’s passing offense, while prolific and explody-in-a-good-way explody, they have been held in *relative* check by both Notre Dame (223 yards at 6.6 YPA) and Rutgers (161 yards at 6.4 YPA).

Michigan should worry about: Buuuuuuuut while the passing game has been working through their First World Problems, Ohio State is quietly the #5 team in the country in yards per carry and #11 in the country in rushing yards per game. They’ve gone over 250 rushing yards at >6 yards per carry in each of their last three games. And that is largely without a dinged-up TreVeyon Henderson.

When they play Michigan: Have I been checking the super-duper long-range snow forecasts for Columbus in late November? Of course not. That would be insane.

This week: @ Michigan State, 4:00 p.m., ABC (OSU -27)

 

Objects in the Rearview Mirror

Colorado State (0-4, 0-0 MWC)

Last week: Bye

Recap: No recap. Bye. And not one of those “bye, so we’re gonna be brief.” Nope. Noooooooo recap or discussion or anecdotes or ponderings.

Except to say that there are two winless FBS teams at this point: Colorado State and Colorado. And they do not play each other, which seems to be both (a) wise and (b) a TERRIBLE missed opportunity.

This week: @ Nevada, 10:30 p.m. FRIDAY, FS1 (CSU +3.5)

 

 

Hawai’i (1-4, 0-0 MWC)

Last week: Bye

Recap: No recap. Bye.

Seriously. Move along. This team god smoked by New Mexico State. They don’t even get a passing musing.

This week: @ San Diego State, 10:30 p.m., CBSSN (Hawai’i +21)

 

UConn (2-4)

Last week: Beat Fresno State, 19-14

Vanderbilt opens as 14-point favorite over UConn - Anchor Of Gold

He’s smiling on the inside

Recap: I did not see that coming.

Fresno State was a real team. They lost to Oregon State by 3 points and played a competitive-adjacent game against USC before the Trojans pulled away late. As a result, they were a 23-point favorite over UConn. And UConn flat out beat ‘em; the Huskies had more yards per pass, yards per carry, more first downs, 13 extra minutes of possession, and fewer turnovers.

The offensive effort was still nothing to write home about, but UConn only surrendered 7 offensive points (in addition to a fantastic, hilarious 87-yard, three-spin-move punt return touchdown) and held Fresno State running back Jordan Mims ⁠— who totaled 236 yards at 6.6 YPC against Oregon State and USC ⁠— to 39 yards rushing at 2.6 yards per carry.

UConn hasn’t won back-to-back games since October of 2017. They are a favorite this week. I’m ready to get hurt again.

This week: @ FIU, 7:00, ESPN3 (UConn -5.5 (!))

 

Maryland (4-1, 1-1 B1G)

Last week: Beat Michigan State, 27-13

21 Fun Things to Do in October to Get the Most Out of Fall

Little-known fact: turtles love pumpkins

Recap: The calendar page turned. And yet, the Terps remained. We see you, October Maryland, pumpkin spice crabcake kings.

How quickly expectations can change in this stupid sport. At the beginning of the season, Maryland was about a touchdown underdog to Michigan State. Barely a month later, when Maryland beat Michigan State by two touchdowns, the only surprise seemed to be that the margin wasn’t bigger.

Don’t get me wrong: in one sense, this was a big win for Maryland. It was probably the biggest win for October Maryland since 2014. But coming off a strong showing against Michigan (and with Michigan State coming off two elevator farts in a row), it seemed like a game Maryland should absolutely win. And from about midway through the second quarter on, it felt like a formality. Maryland picked Michigan State apart through the air and on the ground, outgained the Spartans by nearly 1.6 yards per play, and held the ball for 36:16. A Spartan goal line stand, a missed field goal, and a truly egregious Big Ten ref job that wiped out a pick-six kept the final score from reflecting the down-to-down dominance, but we all saw it.

Maryland gets Purdue, Indiana, and Northwestern for the rest of October. Could October Maryland go undefeated and get to 8-1 before Halloween?

This week: vs. Purdue, noon, BTN (Maryland -3)

Comments

1974

October 6th, 2022 at 9:15 AM ^

"Michigan State is the best defense in the history of American Football from inside the 3-yard line."

I'm glad that was noted. They've been narrowly amazing. I have to think their success rate on 2-point conversions is pretty good, too. 4th down as well, possibly.

Indonacious

October 6th, 2022 at 11:12 AM ^

I’ve seen 3 goal line stands by MSU and and literally all 12 plays involved runs up the middle. I wonder what makes them so much more effective against the run in that setting relative to normal runs. Also, shocked teams like Washington and Maryland didn’t try throwing or at least play action once. 

dragonchild

October 6th, 2022 at 11:19 AM ^

Conventional wisdom says if you need a yard, odds favor you getting it with just a tried-and-true dive or QB sneak, so they try.  The problem is, those probabilities don't apply to Michigan State.

Michigan State has had excellent DTs for as long as I've read about them.  Against a goal-line formation, their already-darn-good DTs can pin their ears back and stuff the middle.  So for a dive you are going right into the teeth of the one piece of this team that isn't a disaster but actually elite, doing something they are second to none at stopping, and you're basically telling them you're doing it.  I was being snarky about going backwards but you ought to call plays like you need five yards instead of one.

Don't try to pinch these guys.  Spread 'em out, get speed in space.  That Ronnie Bell end-around, and plays off it, ought to be effective.  Keep the ball the hell away from the interior gaps, because that ain't going nowhere.

MGolem

October 6th, 2022 at 12:15 PM ^

I saw all of them as well and it seemed like an arrogance thing, at least for those after the first one. Washington didn’t seem to know that was the one point of Staee’s defense to avoid. Then they got prideful and insisted on willing it in (I assume because they knew the game was in hand). Maryland must have felt the same way because they play Staee every year and know there are much easier ways to get it in. It was super annoying to watch but also kinda hilarious as the games never seemed in doubt in either instance therefore getting zero points, in an attempt to prove a point, didn’t matter. 

JonathanE

October 6th, 2022 at 11:40 AM ^

The thing about the MSU goal line stands is that when they happen, the game is already out of hand and the opposing coaches appear to have said, 'Man test time. Let's see if we can't ram it down their throats. If we don't make it, they get the ball on the 1 and we are still comfortably ahead.'

Had the games been closer, I think you would have seen the other teams kicking field goals.

The Homie J

October 6th, 2022 at 11:21 AM ^

I really appreciate the B1G West's commitment to wacky and wild football experiments this season.

Iowa: how many games can a defense win by themselves?

Illinois: is it possible to clone a program and move it to Champaign?

Purdue: can you lose all the games you should win, but win all the games you should lose?

Nebraska: how many teams can we infect with the "omicorn variant"?

Wisconsin: Bo Pelini moment 2.0, what could go wrong?

Minnesota: exactly how high can we raise the hopes of a fanbase before utterly collapsing?

Northwestern: how long can we go before the AD realizes we haven't beaten anybody not named "Nebraska"?

 

Maximinus Thrax

October 6th, 2022 at 9:26 AM ^

Removing that pick six by Maryland was bullshit.  The second INT that was taken off the board for too many men on the field was legit I guess.  Still, two INTs given back to Sparty by the refs and they still lost by two TDs.  Pathetic

dragonchild

October 6th, 2022 at 9:31 AM ^

My summary of the Iowa game:

Iowa's defense, defended.  Iowa's offense, offended.

 

 

P.S.

Indiana just makes so many mistakes. They aren’t talented enough to win without playing cleanly, and they are not playing cleanly. This week, they committed 11 penalties against Nebraska and had to call a timeout before the first play of the game.

If I was Jamie, I wouldn't be concerned.  Nothing cures the penalty blues like playing Michigan.

They also got a punt blocked.

Oh.  Well, that's not going to help them.

wolvemarine

October 6th, 2022 at 9:31 AM ^

A ten year, $95 million dollar cruise.  On the S.S. Minnow.

My wife, during Penn State games, will still randomly chirp out "McGloin!".  Regardless of the actual Penn State QB.

"I'm Wisconsin now." Bravo, sir. Bravo.

Maison Bleue

October 6th, 2022 at 9:56 AM ^

A Spartan goal line stand, a missed field goal, and a truly egregious Big Ten ref job that wiped out a pick-six kept the final score from reflecting the down-to-down dominance, but we all saw it.

To be fair, it wasn't a pick-six. They called him out at the one which would set MSU up for the only thing they are good at... Yet another goal-line stand.

Also, this made me LOL. Good stuff BiSB.

Now imagine the cruise was 10 years long and cost $95 Million. Fear Level = 7

PopeLando

October 6th, 2022 at 9:58 AM ^

At my request, Michigan Monday now lists Rutgers as a snarky "Rivalry Game" again. You're welcome.

Because oh boy Rutgers has NOT been silent. They chirp. Oh my god do they chirp. They chirp every single day. For revolution. 

Between a hometown player (which Michigan didn't offer) taking a shot directly at Harbaugh (who didn't give him an offer) and "choosing" (because we didn't offer him) Rutgers over Michigan...to Chris Ash inviting 200+ recruits to what became a 78-0 beatdown...Rutgers chirps. 

Remember when Rutgers collaborated with Ohio State to host a recruiting camp, under the assumption that "hey, OSU is on our side"? And Urban just sorta took any recruits he liked and then fucked off? Rutgers chirped about that too.

I had honestly forgotten  that the 2016 game was also when Rutgers hosted the bar-none-most-hilariously-named-marketing-stunt-ever "Stripe the Birthplace"...for some reason the "200 recruits" thing and the "stripe the birthplace" were two different things in my head. Rutgers announced that in MAY 2016 for our October game. 78-0. They chirped.

All of this stems from the 2014 season, when Dead Man Walking Brady Hoke finally ran out of Devin Gardner Magic and lost to Rutgers. Did you know that they, Rutgers, named that game "The Upset"? Because I didn't. When I heard that term out of a Rutgers fan, I assumed they were talking about 2007 App State (side note: I think Michigan State has celebrated that win MORE over the last 15 years than App State has...). 

So yeah, Rutgers named a win over us, and we never got the memo, and didn't care when we did. But they chirp about it to this day.

Our last couple performances against them haven't helped our case, tbh. It's time for another shellacking. 

Hab

October 6th, 2022 at 10:12 AM ^

That weather forecast for Columbus.  Game is 11/26.

Nov 18-22 Rain and snow showers, cold

Nov 23-28 Rainy periods, mild

Nov 29-30 Snow, very cold

 

Teddy Bonkers

October 6th, 2022 at 11:45 AM ^

My initial reaction was pretty funny comments by Ben, but subsequently have been wondering if Director told him to shut up because everyone knew it was a ridiculous premise, but it was a ridiculous movie and everyone involved understand this and maybe he was annoyed with Ben for acting like he smart for figuring out the plot hole. It's a summer blockbuster, it needs action and funny lines, plot holes you can drive a truck through are pretty standard in this genre.

dragonchild

October 6th, 2022 at 12:09 PM ^

You gotta be careful when you aim a magnifying glass at a movie like Armageddon.  I generally gauge a movie by first trying to figure out what it wants to be, and while I'm no fan of Michael Bay, I felt it acceptably set up its own stage.  It's clearly trying to be dumb and succeeds at exactly that, so, what do you mock?  I majored in physics so folks probably expect me of all people to gripe, yet I was at peace with its premise because it's basically a cartoon.  So if you want to be the next Plinkett or MST3k, for this kind of flick you'd better bring something more than "it makes no sense".

The problem I DID have with Armageddon was the one thing it tried to serious up, which was the passing of the torch (and token "hot chick") from father to daughter's boyfriend.  This trope is usually served with some transfer of wisdom from elder to younger, but, nope.  Instead, the father must unequivocally accept the boyfriend's way of life, which is NOT an insightful defiance of stubborn, obsolete ways.  Oh no, it's to fucking yeet the last piece of working equipment with the fate of the world on the line and every other tenured professional around him screaming that he's going to break the damn thing for no reason.  While I don't expect a movie like Armageddon to carry a meaningful message, open celebration of incompetence didn't sit well with me when this country's already got too many people worshiping Kardashians.  (And let me be clear -- I'm old now, but this stuck in my craw when the movie was new and I was still a dumb college student.  It was that bad.)  Give the audience explosions and schlock, fine, but pandering to humanity's worst qualities gets legitimately creepy.

The Oracle 2

October 6th, 2022 at 11:07 AM ^

There’s a lot of great writing on this site, but none of it is better on a weekly basis than this column. I, too, applaud the cruise bit as I sit here wondering how much of it was based on some painful,  real life experience.

superstringer

October 6th, 2022 at 11:13 AM ^

If UM(NTUM)QBAWRHG leaves the Terps alone this year, November Maryland might well be 9-1 when hosting the Buckeyes the week before The Game.  I'm not sure if "Upset Alerts" will be more dense for Illinois/us or Maryland/them.  Maryland @ PSU has the potential to be game of the year in the conference not involving us or the poopcoolerfillers.  A 10-2 Maryland team in a New Years Six bowl game is definitely on the horizon.

Now watch Purdue go and spoil that too.