Obligatory Uniformz Post

Submitted by Brian on December 18th, 2012 at 3:47 PM

Hey. Life rolls on. Thank you to those who have expressed condolences.

One of the running jokes on the podcast this year has been theorizing that the athletic department has someone specifically dedicated to trolling me. Evidence: "In The Big House" did not return until after the nonconference season had convinced me it was gone, and Michigan waited until the last possible moment to change Jordan Kovacs away from #32. Taken with the deployment of Denard and Devin against Ohio State, this is strong evidence indeed.

If they are deep enough inside that they knew what I was writing up this morning and chose that hour to release the latest in the ever-growing line of uniformz, I am terrified because the sleeper agent is probably me.

Anyway. We knew this was coming because Michigan's promise after they announced the Alabama uniformz was that they would not screw with the jerseys during the regular season. They are here. If you have not been on the internet, here they are:



They finally screwed with the helmet. Also Ramzy pointed out that there seem to be four different shades of yellow on this thing.

Yes, yes, the kids love it, which is why Alabama and USC are struggling to recruit these days. It is possible the kids are not quite so stupid as that meme thinks they are and make decisions based on things other than wearing goofy alternates a couple of times a year. Your assertion as to what the kids love does not seem to have much bearing on where they go to school. Alabama did not need fancy duds to annihilate Michigan earlier this year.


What gets me is that many iconic uniforms are not being futzed with, including the aforementioned teams plus Texas, Florida State, Penn State, and Oklahoma*, but the people running those athletic departments must be wrong and the man who brought us pasta inside a bread bowl must be right. I do not agree that this is necessarily the case, Kids Love It Arguer Guy.

I mean, the brand-manic NFL has strict restrictions on third jerseys, with many of the teams deploying them once or twice… ever. NFL teams are prohibited from wearing alternates in the Super Bowl, and only the Chargers have ever deployed them in a playoff game, probably because the Chargers' alternates are themselves a great tradition revived from the 1960s.

It's no real loss if Michigan looks dumb playing in Tampa, but I'll be sad if Michigan plays a Rose Bowl in anything other than classic Schembechler blue. And if you wouldn't want to wear it at the Rose Bowl, why would you want to wear it anywhere?

I promise to write another version of this post in August when alternate uniforms for the ND game are announced, because it is tradition, and tradition is important. #thisguygetsit

*[All of those teams have largely if not entirely opted out. Oklahoma wore some all-whites that were roundly panned in 2009 and scrapped the concept, and Texas altered their helmets to honor Darrel K Royal this year but that's a whole different thing everyone should be okay with. IIRC Alabama did have some sort of subtle houndstooth thing in one game. In each case any uniform alterations were one-offs or close to it, not Michigan's parade.]



December 19th, 2012 at 1:41 PM ^

I don't recall them, as the home team in a bowl, electing to wear white shirts with crimson sleeves and crimson-outlined white (or silver, or black, or anything but crimson) numerals. 

I assume you're talking about the Pro Combat uniforms worn in a 2010 game against Mississippi State (and maybe sometime after that): 

Alabama pro combat


But Nick Saban has nixed the idea of anything more radical [1], proving that he doesn't like to land recruits and secretly hopes for his athletic department to wither away from lack of funds.


[1]Kausler, D., Jr. (2011, September 14). Uniform changes at Alabama? Nick Saban makes his feelings perfectly clear. AL.com. I'd share the link but the spam filter said no.

Communist Football

December 18th, 2012 at 4:14 PM ^

These Outback Bowl uniforms are a travesty.  And so have been all of the alternate uniforms with the possible exception of the Under the Lights game ones.

If we're going to go with an alternate uniform, why can't we do these? Michigan's brand used to be that we'd always had the same uniform.  And Brandon has completely destroyed that.

Check out that stylish and distinctive "4" on Bob Chappuis' jersey. And no logos!

Communist Football

December 18th, 2012 at 4:35 PM ^

Thanks Comrade. I'm still in post-RR mourning mode. But ugly uniforms are enough to get my blood pressure up.

And I did buy front-row seats to see Denard's last game in Tampa, even if his talent has been utterly wasted by Borges and Hoke.  And now I have to spend three hours with these horrendous uniforms, up close and personal. B`lyad!


December 18th, 2012 at 4:16 PM ^

Eh, I liked the Cowboy Classic ones.  They were shiny and new-fangled while still being Michigan.  Haven't liked any of the others.  "Parade" is a good word to use.  This is Michigan fergodsakes.


December 18th, 2012 at 4:29 PM ^

Imagine the last time you saw a michigan football game was Lloyd's last game in 2007, and you came back today and saw that jersey.  First, you'd be confused, and then you'd start to find things like "B1G" on the jersey too... you'd wonder, what the fuck happened while you were gone.


December 18th, 2012 at 4:30 PM ^

The jerseys just look like a cheap offbrand I'd buy at Meijer or Walmart. I don't understand how they could design those and approve them thinking they looked good.


December 18th, 2012 at 4:32 PM ^

Don't hate the uniform, love the helmet. Matte finish looks intense, hopefully we play that way. The rest is a large "meh". We retain our identity for most games, that should satisfy all the GET OFF MY LAWN traditionalists while still appealing to the young and less diehard fans. I think Brandon has balanced that quite nicely, actually.


December 18th, 2012 at 4:32 PM ^

Why stop with the uniforms?  How about some other brand enhancing ideaz!

  • Maybe we could get the Black Eyed Peas to write a new fight song!  Recruits would love it and we could probably make extra cash on iTunes for new ATHLETIC FACILITEEZ!
  • Instead of touching a banner, get CNN to create a hologram banner that the players virtually touch on the way in.
  • Replace Carl Grapentine with that Daquon guy!
  • Replace Frank Beckmann and Jim Brandstatter with the Olsen twins.
  • Who needs a marching band?  Just pipe in music!  (wait, what?)

Other ideaz welcome...




coastal blue

December 18th, 2012 at 4:32 PM ^

Jersey Rank:


Sugar Bowl


This crap



I don't mind if they want to consider one-off uniforms for bowl games, but seriously, when they are this garbage, why not just scrap the idea?


December 18th, 2012 at 4:33 PM ^

Did Dave Brandon and Mary Sue Coleman decide that Michigan is leaving the Big Ten and joining the Big East?  I just puked a little in my mouth as I typed that...


December 18th, 2012 at 4:35 PM ^

But this is the 8th jersey for the last 25 games, or an average of a new look every 3 games.

Considering how BRAND centric DB is, with all Block-Ms everywhere, uniformity across everything, it's mind-boggling that he's allowing our football brand to be diluted with all these silly looks. I get that they can sell more jerseys this way, but I mean, I for one would never buy one of these one-offs. Even the ones I talked myself into (UTL) look terrible (they looked good on the players though). This is 110% about the money and getting publicity.

If I'm buying another M Jersey, it'll be a home blue, or one of these:


Tiedman & Formby University of Michigan



December 18th, 2012 at 4:35 PM ^

When Brandon took over didn't he make it a point to eliminate other Michigan Block M logos?  Namely the Block M with Michigan written accross it.  This seemed to be a consolidation of the Michigan brand identity.  I was ok with that but how does introducing Uniformz each year add to that consolidated brand.  I am becoming more and more annoyed with Brandon day by day.


December 18th, 2012 at 4:37 PM ^

mgoblog is the closest thing I've ever seen to fans of a team/sport "organizing" together. They make these jerseys because people buy them. (I admit, the UTL jerseys were very well done and looked fantastic) Change the damn banner of this website to say DON'T BUY THESE ALTERNATE UNIFORMS. Are we undermining our own athletic department? In a way, but they make enough money without selling these jerseys. The worst thing is the Kovacs video on mgoblue.com, its basically him modeling and talking about (aka selling) the jersey. Really  David? Now the players have to move merchandise for you too? I never thought I'd say this, but damn I long for the days of Bill Martin. Yeah, he might have been on a sailboat or playing squash, but at least he wasn't thinking of ways to destroy traditions and take advantage of loyal fans and his own student athletes. That video really disgusted me, sorry.



December 18th, 2012 at 4:39 PM ^

I mentioned this before but our normal kick ass home uniforms look pretty sweet under a night sky. 

And there was a time where the only thing added to the uniforms for a bowl game was the name of the bowl. 


We don't need an alternate uniform or theme for night games, bowl games, the MSU game, or a neutral game. I guess I'm still living in the state of denial where if I complain enough, this trend of ugly ass uniforms will stop.  But there's always money to be made and people buy them for some reason. 

I remember how pissed off everyone was when Tom Goss put that halo around the big house in 1998.  I wish people would get as angry about the uniform changes.  But I'm thinking it's 50/50 among the fans.


December 18th, 2012 at 4:49 PM ^

The helmets look sweet!  Been wanting to see this for a while.  It will give a more clean look to the helmet, and the gloss wings will pop.  The jersey: eah....  Would be better with blue numbers oulinded in maize, I think.


Edit:  why do I even bother?

UM Indy

December 18th, 2012 at 4:38 PM ^

with the hate uniformz takes, but the part that hasn't been mentioned is the fact that we've broken out an alternate uniform for the friggin Outback Bowl.  The Outback Bowl!  As if that deserves anything out of the norm, assuming of course you want anything out of the norm, which we really don't.  Something is very wrong with this whole picture.


December 18th, 2012 at 6:46 PM ^

You've touched on my 3rd leg of hate about all of this.

1.  Aesthetically they are poorly designed and unappealing (to my eyes at least).  We seem to be moving towards the enevitable black-replaces-blue-because-its so-cool color scheme.Matte AND gloss on one helmet (to add contrast!) for our alien visitors whoose eyes cant distinguish color OR shape!

2.  They are messing with well established/loved tradition that in no way needs fixing.  Tradition isn't just repetition, it's the context of that repetition including chilhood memories and feeling game atmosperes.

3.  This is a tactic that should be reserved for "lesser programs"  it's the AD's version of a classles endzone dance.


December 18th, 2012 at 4:39 PM ^

I think the "kids love it" meme is correct, but only applies to schools that don't have the tradition we have (a la Oregon).  Michigan doesn't need to improve its image because it's Michigan(ferfuckssake).


December 18th, 2012 at 4:40 PM ^

I don't post often, but when I do (insert most interesting man in the world joke here).

Ok, seriousely this needs to stop.  Let your voice be heard.  Tweet, text, email or call the atheletic department and let your opinion be heard.  NO MORE MESSING WITH THE UNIS!




December 18th, 2012 at 4:53 PM ^

I've been trying to get people to take action for weeks, even months, and no one has taken notice.  What have I been telling all of you for weeks? This will not stop.  Except everyone is too busy piddling away on their I-Pads, deaf to the world around them.  We need to actually do something.

Quick, someone tell the hippies that these jerseys are being made by cute little kids in some third world coutry, those liberals really know how to raise a stink pretty quickly.  Maybe those Occupiers can finally be put to good use.



December 18th, 2012 at 4:53 PM ^

I've been trying to get people to take action for weeks, even months, and no one has taken notice.  What have I been telling all of you for weeks? This will not stop.  Except everyone is too busy piddling away on their I-Pads, deaf to the world around them.  We need to actually do something.

Quick, someone tell the hippies that these jerseys are being made by cute little kids in some third world coutry; those liberals really know how to raise a stink pretty quickly.  Maybe those Occupiers can finally be put to good use.



December 18th, 2012 at 4:43 PM ^

looks like Dave Brandon just figured out that Authentic Replica Helmets sell for like three times as much as Authentic Replica Jerseys.


Also: That is a big belt.