The Museday of the Depend Adult Undergarment

Submitted by Seth on December 6th, 2011 at 8:04 AM

  SugarSugar   peach_bowl_logo

Right: One the fruits of this week's "Virginia Tech" googlestalking.

First there was the Rose. At this point let's not pretend like this wasn't a marketing ploy because the entire point of the Rose Bowl was to prove to skeptical Easterners that it really is sunny and 70 in January in Pasadena. But at some point the marketing went from "come see our lovely town" to how much can we annoy you. This is where I come in. I carry a keyboard.

When there were fewer bowls the funny names were okay, especially when they matched the local industry. The Citrus and Tangerine and Orange and Gator screamed Florida. The Peach was very Georgia. The Liberty Bowl at least began in Philly and had a logo of the Liberty Bell. The Refrigerator Bowl was in the Refrigerator Capital of the World—if you knew where that was you could place the bowl game.

With naming rights to bowls now going for less than Pryor made in extra benefits (oh snap!) it is time to revolt.

This should have been done before a company called Mine-hickey Care Bear or some such sullied one "hallowed" bowl with that name, let alone its second (map by Hinton):

Going with this week's theme of whining about things that will never happen, here's my plea to readers and bloggers alike for dealing with the billions of bad names and barnacle-like corporate monikers affixing themselves to your bowls.

Why care? Without getting into the mercenary finances of the bowls I don't care that companies buy naming rights. I care that they are very bad at it, and that this makes the bowlscape very unhelpful. It is not my intent to restrict or confine or dictate language. I'm just tired of having to Google where the Maaco Bowl is.

Just Add 'Bowl': Rose. Orange. Sugar. Fiesta. Cotton (no need to add "classic"). Liberty. Holiday. Alamo. Gator. Sun. Poinsettia. Oh they all have title sponsors who've tried to affix their names but you can pretty safely ignore them, especially since the sponsorships almost never last more than half a decade or so.

Fine with the Sponsor: Fight Hunger (leave out Kraft, it's an image wash anyway). Outback. Y'know what, "Hall of Fame" bowl in its day never really impressed me. On the other hand Outback Steakhouse did the sponsorship thing right by not adding the extra two syllables, allowing the bowl to evoke the Aussie desert instead of a restaurant that doesn't believe anything could be over-salted. I don't know what Tampa, FL, has to do with interior Australia but for some reason this doesn't bother me at all. Board? Hall of Fame or Outback for this one?

Never Change: Peach. Tangerine. Citrus. Copper. The chicken guys are insidious. Watch this logo progression (thanks Chris Creamer):

1970s_Peach_Bowl_logolrg_ChickfilA_Peach_Bowlpeachbowl35175px-ChickFilABowl

It ate the whole peach!

The Tangerine is now called the Champs Sports Bowl and was a zillion other things too but it's easy to remember as the Tangerine because it's still the other Orlando bowl after the Citrus. As for the Citrus itself, until such time as Capital One casts Michigan State in one of their marauding commercials, then has them sack a dorm while Kirk Cousins turns to the camera and says "what's in YOUR wallet?" this should always remain the Citrus. The Copper Bowl is the one that's now in Tempe and used to be in Tucson. It's been the "Insight" for a time but I can't stand .com names.*

xizbhdidwmuhukofc08f

What Was Wrong With the Old One? Pop quiz hot-shot: where was the Aloha Bowl (1982-'00)? Oh you guessed it. It was obvious. So why is it now the Hawai'i Bowl? By the way it was the Pineapple Bowl from '39 to '51, and the Poi Bowl from '35 to '38. Amazing that this bowl's predecessors go all the way back to when the BCS bowls were starting up.

Use the City: Virtually all of the rest of them. There is no way you should be responsible for remembering what bowl is currently the Franklin American Mortgage Company Bowl. Call it Music City or Nashville. The one in Mobile is Mobile. The one in Birmingham is Birmingham. Las Vegas. Detroit (or Motor City). Boise (you can call this one Potato if you like). New Orleans II. New Mexico. Tampa II (the one they're now calling Beef 'O' Babies or something, and is in St. Petersburg. So Tampa. Tampa II. Like the defense). Charlotte (the old Continental Ire, then Mein Kitty Carb Scare Bowl, now Belk). The "Armed Forces" and "Military" Bowls are currently battling it out to see which one can be the most Captain America:

 FileMilitaryBowlFile2007_Armed_Forces_Bowl

…but until that is settled you are not going to remember which one is in Ft. Worth and which one is in D.C. So they're D.C. and Fort Worth ("Dallas III" gets confusing with the Cotton Bowl and Cotton II both in the tri-city area).

Special Cases: The "Pinstripe" Bowl can be that or the Bronx Bowl, or the one they're playing in Yankee Stadium. The bowl that's moved into the old Cotton Bowl is best referred to as Cotton II (not Ticketcity)

If you're in need of non-sullied bowl logos, the following is a collection of such created by bloggers (except the Rose: a Rose is a Rose).

rose-bowlOrangeBowlsugarFiesta5kcx6fynk65qmg23v4ekGatorbowlCottonbowlLibertybowlHolidayBowlSunbowl1990_1-1_Citrus_Bowl_Guidepeach_bowl_logo

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* Unless you guys want to take up a fund to start the MGoBlog.com Bowl. But then we'd just call it the MGoBowl. Man who do we invite? I mean after Slippery Rock.

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UPDATE: Handy Chart.

They Call It You Call It Started Location Payout
Alamo Bowl Alamo 1993 San Antonio, TX $2,250,000
Armed Forces Bowl Fort Worth 2003 University Park, TX $750,000
BBVA Compass Bowl Birmingham 2006 Birmingham, AL $1,000,000
Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl Tampa II 2008 St. Petersburg, FL $1,000,000
Belk Bowl Charlotte 2002 Charlotte, NC $1,000,000
Capital One Bowl Citrus 1946 Orlando, FL $4,250,000
Champs Sports Bowl Tangerine 1990 Orlando, FL $2,125,000
Chick-fil-A Bowl Peach 1968 Atlanta, GA $3,350,000
Cotton Bowl Classic Cotton 1936 Dallas (Arlington), TX $6,750,000
Famous Idaho Potato Bowl Boise 1997 Boise, ID $750,000
Fiesta Bowl Fiesta 1971 Glendale, AZ $18,000,000
Gator Bowl Gator 1945 Jacksonville, FL $2,500,000
GoDaddy.com Bowl Mobile 1999 Mobile, AL $750,000
Hawaiʻi Bowl Hawai'i or Aloha 2002 Honolulu, HI $750,000
Holiday Bowl Holiday 1978 San Diego, CA $1,000,000
Independence Bowl Independence 1976 Shreveport, LA $1,100,000
Insight Bowl Copper 1989 Tempe, AZ $1,200,000
Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl San Fran or Fight Hunger 2002 San Francisco, CA $825,000
Liberty Bowl Liberty 1959 Memphis, TN $1,350,000
Little Caesars Pizza Bowl Detroit or Motor City 1997 Detroit, MI $750,000
Maaco Bowl Las Vegas Las Vegas 1992 Las Vegas, NV $1,000,000
Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas Houston 2006 Houston, TX $1,700,000
Military Bowl D.C. 2008 Washington, DC $1,000,000
Music City Bowl Music City or Nashville 1998 Nashville, TN $1,700,000
New Mexico Bowl New Mexico 2006 Albuquerque, NM $750,000
New Orleans Bowl New Orleans 2001 New Orleans, LA $325,000
Orange Bowl Orange 1934 Miami Gardens, FL $18,000,000
Outback Bowl Outback 1986 Tampa, FL $3,400,000
Pinstripe Bowl Bronx 2010 Bronx, NY $2,000,000
Poinsettia Bowl Poinsettia 2005 San Diego, CA $750,000
Rose Bowl Game Rose 1901 Pasadena, CA $18,000,000
Sugar Bowl Sugar 1934 New Orleans, LA $18,000,000
Sun Bowl Sun 1934 El Paso, TX $1,900,000
TicketCity Bowl Cotton II 2010 Dallas, TX $1,200,000

 

Comments

Benoit Balls

December 6th, 2011 at 9:01 AM ^

this makes my day. You wrote:

I don't know what Tampa, FL, has to do with interior Australia but for some reason this doesn't bother me at all. Board?

;

The answer is because Outback Steakhouse started in Tampa, and it's corporate headquarters are located there. My previous neighbor for the last 7 years was a GM of one or their locations.

 

StephenRKass

December 6th, 2011 at 9:25 AM ^

Corporate Bowl Names: absolutely, unequivocally, hate them. The Rose Bowl will always be special for this very reason. Maybe that's why Michigan and the Rose Bowl go so well together:  they both adamantly reject the incessant drum beat of corrupted naming rights. (or is that rites?)

Regarding the unwelcome intrusion of corporate America:  I was cheesed off by something else during the inaugural Big 10 Championship Game:  advertising placards strategically placed behind the talking heads at the sideline. There were (at least) three sign stands which held an insert with the name and logo of the sponsor for that particular segment of the game. You couldn't escape it (which undoubtedly was the idea.) It was extremely annoying. I can live with the occasionally annoying "Hi Mom" and waving and jumping fans. I can live with the logo superimposed on the screen by the network as a deep network voice intones, "this portion of our broadcast is sponsored by the proud Meinicke Heinicke Muffler Care Car Corporation gladly gouging you and wanting you to buy their products." But those irritating placards crossed a line for me.

This naming and sponsoring and branding does NOTHING to bring about my loyalty or business and only hacks me off. "Get off my lawn, corporate punks!!!"

Sigh. It's everywhere. mgoblog, in order to stay afloat, now has at least six appeals to spend your money. The choice du jour:

  1. "Ally Raise your rate 2-Year CD. 1.18% Annual Percentage Yield."
  2. "Marriott Rewards Visa Card . . . Earn 50,000 Points!"
  3. "Moe Sport Shops Cyber Monday . . . everything 20% of while supplies last."
  4. "Beveled Guilt:  Make a Donation."
  5. "Park and Party:  Michigan vs Ohio State Parking." (perhaps dated?)
  6. "Mgoblogstore Cyber Monday 20% off." (also dated.)

May Dave Brandon never completely cave to this dark side. Bill Martin had many flaws, but somehow, he managed to maximize money coming in without nickel and diming and irritating and alienating the entire fanbase, including me. The seat licenses and waiting list and donor lists and priority points make it increasingly less likely for me to attend games in Ann Arbor. I'm happy for you corporate alumni types who can afford to buy and write off tickets, but it just isn't enough of a priority for me to spend $100 plus per head to go to a stinking GAME.

TrppWlbrnID

December 6th, 2011 at 9:27 AM ^

the B1G will bring in $25.9 million from these bowl games or about $2 million each. as much as everyone has shit on michigan for being in the Sugar Bowl, that second team in a BCS bowl means about an extra million for each school in the conference.

TrppWlbrnID

December 6th, 2011 at 9:45 AM ^

yes, total of bowls' payouts / 2 = $25.9m

if by we, you mean big ten conference teams, then yes, we get $9m. UM only gets $9m/12 $750,000 of that money. there are probably some small exceptions in these numbers covering expenses or some other kind of crap administrative fees or something, but for these purposes...

bluebyyou

December 6th, 2011 at 9:50 AM ^

While I belive the money from bowls is split equally among the member teams of the B1G, is there any expense money first paid to the schools that are actually invited to bowls or do the really crappy teams just get a windfall?

jabberwock

December 6th, 2011 at 9:33 AM ^

It's all USF & G's fault.

The universe was a well-ordered place before they started in with the Sugar Bowl corporate-creep.

It was the first crack in the dam.

 

oriental andrew

December 6th, 2011 at 9:40 AM ^

Why aren't you doing the corporate sponsors for the big bowls?  Speaking of which, maybe Lettuce Entertain You Enterprises should sponsor the Big Bowl Big Bowl. 

  • Allstate Sugar Bowl?  Meh, clearly a corporate money-grub
  • Tostitos Fiesta Bowl?  Actually works and one of the few I like
  • The Rose Bowl Game Presented by Vizio?  Eh, at least it emphasizes the game more than the sponsors, although it also conjures up images of the Chicago Bears presented by BankOne (now Chase)
  • Discover Orange Bowl?  Could be worse, I guess, although I'd like to see a Tropicana Orange Bowl or Simply Orange Bowl  ;)

 

Needs

December 6th, 2011 at 10:37 AM ^

The Salad Bowl! One of the short lived predecessors to the Fiesta Bowl in Phoenix, held between 1948 and 1952, seemingly to give Arizona's teams a bowl game. ASU and UofA were in it 3 out of the 5 years it was played, though I'm sure the inaugural game, featuring Nevada beating North Texas State Teachers College 13-6, was thrilling.

profitgoblue

December 6th, 2011 at 9:41 AM ^

You know, I have a pretty thick skin and have taken a lot of criticism and flaming on this blog.  But I MUST draw the line when it comes to bad-mouthing Chick-fil-A.  Not cool, Seth.  Not cool.  The #1 combo at Chick-fil-A is the greatest thing in the world, sent down from above.  Dangle one of those in front of my nose, with Chick-fil-A sauce, and I will follow you to the end of the Earth.  Make that a "large" and I will kill for you.  I'm not going to sit here and let you bad-mouth Chick-fil-A!  How dare you!?

 

M-Wolverine

December 6th, 2011 at 10:38 AM ^

I didn't really mind the sponsorship when it was cool, regional things like Chick-fil-A (used to be the only time we'd get their awesome commercials in the north), or just wacky stuff like "Pollun Weedeater" Bowl.  But pushing out the actual bowl names, and even worse, nationally known names, rather than regional (Cap 1, I'm looking at you) isn't fun, or cool.

Though I know your tongue was firmly planted in cheek trying to reminiscence about the taste of chicken...

Wave83

December 6th, 2011 at 12:04 PM ^

When has SF ever referred to itself as the Emerald City?  I lived there for 8 years and never heard that, nor does it make any sense for a city in a semi-arid mediterranean climate.

I have heard Seattle referred to as the Emerald City, which would make sense.

StephenRKass

December 6th, 2011 at 9:46 AM ^

I see $18 mil listed for the Sugar, Fiesta, Rose, and Orange Bowls. Why would the income from each of these be the same? It would seem that given capacity, cache (of Rose in particular,) infrastructure costs, etc., that there would be a significant disparity between the four BCS bowls.