Michigan-ND Throwbacks: Possibly Paleozoic

Submitted by Brian on May 20th, 2011 at 11:12 AM

We haven't had a good uniform PANIC for a while, so… yeah… here's… this:

ugly-ass-jerseys

That, according to your favorite newspaper, resembles the "throwback" uniforms Michigan will don this fall. You'll note a few things:

your eyeballs are melting out of your sockets

those uniforms don't look anything like those of the 1960s, which look essentially identical to today's with the exception of the helmets…

1964-uniforms

…unless they were day-glo orange or something. I think MVictors would have notified us if this was the case by now.

there is a distinct resemblance between these monstrosities and the Big Chill stripey-bucktooth-weasel thing…

big-chill-monstrosity

…in that both were obviously designed by Joad Cressbeckler. Doctor Saturday pointed me to this image of Michigan's uniforms down the years in which the only vague resemblance between the above and something from history is Michigan's 1891 uniforms.

we must have no taste if the Big Chill jerseys sold well enough for this to seem like a good idea.

Let's hope this a practical joke played on the Free Press as revenge, I guess. Get off my lawn.

Comments

markusr2007

May 20th, 2011 at 11:30 AM ^

The first year Notre Dame met Michigan was 1899.  Michigan won 12-0.

112 years ago.

The Wolverines' duds looked like this.

The only guy wearing stripes is the captain, Allen Steckle.

I would prefer a throwback to Michigan's 1979 home uniform. No names on the backs of the jerseys, and different numerals (especially No. 2). More classic Michigan/Bo look:

WolverineHistorian

May 20th, 2011 at 4:11 PM ^

The rule was changed the next year as a result.  Right after we were flagged for a phantom pass interference (30 yards) which allowed that little shit Harry Oliver to kick the game winner to beat us in South Bend.  Another rule that was changed that year. 

Sgt. Wolverine

May 20th, 2011 at 11:31 AM ^

the thread on the board, the Big Chill jersey wasn't a figment of somebody's modern imagination.  It actually corresponded to an old hockey jersey.

While I don't mind the rumored football jersey nearly as much as some here do -- I actually like it a little bit, and I don't know why stripes get so much hate here -- it doesn't correspond to any particular previous football jersey.  It's more like somebody threw a bunch of old football jerseys into a blender.

torontosaurus rex

May 20th, 2011 at 12:41 PM ^

I actually like the design. It might not be a "real" throwback, but I think the jerseys look nice and seeing them does make me think about the history of the program... so they work for me. 

I can see why other people might feel differently, but as long as it's just for one game, I wouldn't have a problem with the team wearing these. 

turd ferguson

May 20th, 2011 at 11:32 AM ^

I don't understand why we need gimmick jerseys for big games.  What, there isn't enough that's unique and compelling about a Michigan-ND night game at Michigan Stadium?  If you're going to do this crap, do it for Delaware State or something so that it gives us something to talk/whine about in an otherwise less interesting game.

Icehole Woody

May 20th, 2011 at 11:36 AM ^

Besides being BUTT UGLY there is no historical basis for these uniforms.   What's next?  Polka dots?  Ads for Dominos on the back of the helmet?

Whoever put this nightmare uniform together should be fired.  No, better yet burn them at the stake at halftime of the Notre Dame game.

Go Blue!

CRex

May 20th, 2011 at 11:39 AM ^

Just don't buy it.  I maintain a pretty solid consumption of tasteful Michigan gear (as in no Arby's logo or bumble bee stripes).  If everyone else does sooner or later someone in marketing will get the message.  

That spiderweb stithing on the letters?  Gah.

Jivas

May 20th, 2011 at 11:42 AM ^

I've been telling everybody that this is what would happen if we let Nike get ahold of our jerseys! Damn capitalist tradition-destroying bastards!

Wait...what?

M-jed

May 20th, 2011 at 11:43 AM ^

And they seem to me like beauty only a mom can see.
I'd like to see how they look with pads underneath - the stripes might not be so "kablow!"

Six Zero

May 20th, 2011 at 11:49 AM ^

But first, imagine, if you will, that it is not a #85.  It is a 16.

Now, imagine that in all its striped glory, there is a great mass of dreads bouncing and flapping above it like an angry octopus.

Finally, imagine it is about 9:30 on a warm September night, and under an amazing glow of man-made light in the individual spectacle of Michigan Stadium, that uniform has just ran over the "N" in "MICHIGAN" for the third time of the evening.  And life has never been better.

 

Consider me firmly in the "As Long As We Win" category.

mjv

May 20th, 2011 at 11:52 AM ^

Dave Brandon needs to stop coming up with new crap to try and peddle.  If those non-throwback jerseys are really what the team is going to wear, we should be embarrassed.  Walmart wouldn't even sell that crap.

It's apparent that the only thing that matters to Dave is generating more revenue at the expense of everything else.  Squeeze the season ticket holders as hard as possible? Check.  Put the two most marketable teams on campus in crappy single game uniforms to sell? Check.  Stick a patch on anything that moves and try to sell the patches? Check.  Advertising in the Stadium for the spring game? Check. (Is this to warm everyone up for advertising in the fall?)

The man is a marketing whore.  Plain and simple.

DY

May 20th, 2011 at 5:52 PM ^

Would sell that crap and as any State fan will tell you, the Walverines out there will buy a lot of it. Remember the Puma blue- fade-to-green-fade-to-yellow hats from a few years back? Those were ugly as all get out, but they were cheap so they sold.

WestSider

May 20th, 2011 at 11:58 AM ^

that jersey will cause cognitive and physical dissonance in the ND defenders. However, I would rather beat their asses fair and square with a real throwback jersey. Go Blue

Still in AA

May 20th, 2011 at 12:05 PM ^

I can't help but think (hope) the FREEP got punked here.  Brandon would have to be insane to introduce a fake throwback to Michigan's opinionated fan base. 

willywill9

May 20th, 2011 at 12:17 PM ^

I think the article mentions they're still looking to add #s to the uni's.  probably opposite the Adidas logo (top left corner), however i don't know it would meet that 8" requirement someone mentioned in the original thread.